Then & Now · 12 of 19

11. Of the Husband

CHAP. 11.

Of the Husband.

11. Of the Husband

MArried folkes are either husbād or wife.

Married folks are either husband or wife.

The husband is he which hath authoritie ouer the wife; hereupon in Scripture he is called the guide of her youth, Prou. 2. 17. and they twaine being but one flesh, he is also the head ouer his wife.

The husband is he which hath authority over the wife; hereupon in Scripture he is called the guide of her youth, Prov‸ 2:‸17. And they twain being but one flesh, he is also the head over his wife.

The duties of the husband towards the wife, are these:

I. To loue her as himselfe: Eph. 5. 33. Let euery one loue his wife euen as himselfe. Gen. 24. 67. Afterward Isaak brought her vnto the tent of Sarah his mother; and hee tooke Rebekah and she was his wife, and he loued her: so Isaak left mourning for his mother. Note, how the loue of the husband to the wife, mitigates sorrow for the death of the mother.

I. To love her as himself: Eph‸ 5:‸33. Let every one love his wife even as himself. Gen‸ 24:‸67. Afterward Isaac brought her unto the tent of Sarah his mother; and he took Rebekah and she was his wife, and he loved her: so Isaac left mourning for his mother. Note, how the love of the husband to the wife, mitigates sorrow for the death of the mother.

p. 124 He is to shew this loue in two things: First in protecting her from danger, Gen. 20. 16. And vnto Sarah he said, behold I haue giuen 1000. shekels of siluer vnto thy brother: behold he is the couering of thine eies amongst all that are with thee. Let it be knowne amongst all, & be thou instructed. 1. Sam. 30. 5. Dauids two wiues were taken prisoners also, Ahinoam the Izreelite, and Abigail the wife of Nabal the Carmelite: v. 8. Then Dauid asked counsell of the Lord saying; Shall I follow after this companie,? shall I ouertake them? And hee answered him, Follow, for thou shalt surely ouertake them, and recouer all. Secondly, in regarding her estate as his owne, and prouiding maintenance for her, both for his life time, and as much as he may, for time to come after his death. Ephes. 5. 28. So ought men to loue their wiues, as their owne bodies: he that loueth his wife loueth himselfe; vers. 29. For no man yet hated his owne flesh, but nourisheth it, &c. Exod. 21. 10. If he take him another wife, he shall not diminish her food, her rayment, and recompence of her virginitie. Ruth. 3. 9. Vnto whom he said, who p. 125 art thou? which said; I am Ruth thine handmaid, spread therefore the wing of thy garment ouer thine handmaid; for thou art the kinsman.

He is to show this love in two things: First in protecting her from danger, Gen‸ 20:‸16. And unto Sarah he said, behold I have given 1000. shekels of silver unto thy brother: behold he is the covering of thine eyes amongst all that are with thee. Let it be known amongst all, & be thou instructed. 1‸ Sam‸ 30:‸5. David’s two wives were taken prisoners also, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess, and Abigail the wife of Nabal the Carmelite: v. 8. Then David asked counsel of the Lord saying; Shall I follow after this company‸? Shall I overtake them? And he answered him, Follow, for thou shalt surely overtake them, and recover all. Secondly, in regarding her estate as his own, and providing maintenance for her, both for his life time, and as much as he may, for time to come after his death. Eph 5:‸28. So ought men to love their wives, as their own bodies: he that loveth his wife loveth himself; vers. 29. For no man yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth it, etc‸. Exod‸ 21:‸10. If he take him another wife, he shall not diminish her food, her raiment, and recompense of her virginity. Ruth‸ 3:‸9. Unto whom he said, who art thou? Which said; I am Ruth thine handmaid, spread therefore the wing of thy garment over thine handmaid; for thou art the kinsman.

II. To honor his wife: 1. Pet. 3. 7. Giuing honor to the woman.

II. To honor his wife: 1‸ Pet‸ 3:‸7. Giving honor to the woman.

This honor stands in three things: First, in making account of her, as his companion, or yoke-fellow. For this cause, the woman, when she was created, was not takē out of the mans head, because she was not made to rule ouer him; nor out of his feet, because God did not make her subiect to him as a seruant; but out of his side, to the end that man should take her as his mate. Secōdly, in a wise & patiēt bearing or couering of her infirmities, as anger, waywardnes and such like, in respect of the weaknes of her sexe, 1. Pet. 3. 7. Giuing honor to the woman, as vnto the weaker vessell, seeing yee are heires together of the grace of life, that your prayers bee not hindred. Thirdly, by suffering himselfe sometimes to be admonished or aduised by her. It was Gods commandement to Abraham concerning Sarah his p. 126 wife; Let it not be grieuous in thy sight for the child, and for thy bond-woman: in all that Sarah shall say vnto thee, heare her voice; For in Isaak shall thy seed be called, Gen. 21. 12. Thus Elkanah was willing to subscribe vnto his wife Annaes aduice, for her tarrying at home till the child was weaned, 1. Sam. 1. 23. And Elkanah her husband said vnto her, do what seemeth thee best: tarrie vntill thou hast weaned him: only the Lord accomplish his word. Hereupon the Heathen Philosopher said,⁶³ That the master of the familie exerciseth (after a sort) a power Tyrannical ouer his seruants, a power Regall ouer his children; because Kings are fathers of their Cōmon-weales: but in respect of his wife, he exerciseth a power Aristocraticall, not after his owne will, but agreeable to the honor and dignitie of the married estate; and consequently, that he ought not in modestie to challenge the priuiledge of prescribing and aduertising his wife in al matters domesticall, but in some to leaue her, to her owne will and iudgement.

63. Arist. Ethic. lib. 8.

This honor stands in three things: First, in making account of her, as his companion, or yoke-fellow. For this cause, the woman, when she was created, was not taken out of the man’s head, because she was not made to rule over him; nor out of his feet, because God did not make her subject to him as a servant; but out of his side, to the end that man should take her as his mate. Secondly, in a wise & patient bearing or covering of her infirmities, as anger, waywardness and such like, in respect of the weakness of her sex, 1‸ Pet‸ 3:‸7. Giving honor to the woman, as unto the weaker vessel, seeing ye are heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. Thirdly, by suffering himself sometimes to be admonished or advised by her. It was God’s commandment to Abraham concerning Sarah his wife; Let it not be grievous in thy sight for the child, and for thy bond-woman: in all that Sarah shall say unto thee, hear her voice; For in Isaac shall thy seed be called, Gen‸ 21:‸12. Thus Elkanah was willing to subscribe unto his wife Hannah’s advice, for her tarrying at home till the child was weaned, 1‸ Sam‸ 1:‸23. And Elkanah her husband said unto her, do what seemeth thee best: tarry until thou hast weaned him: only the Lord accomplish his word. Hereupon the Heathen Philosopher said,⁶² That the master of the family exerciseth (after a sort) a power Tyrannical over his servants, a power Regal over his children; because Kings are fathers of their common-weals: but in respect of his wife, he exerciseth a power Aristocratic, not after his own will, but agreeable to the honor and dignity of the married estate; and consequently, that he ought not in modesty to challenge the privilege of prescribing and advertising his wife in all matters domestic, but in some to leave her, to her own will and judgement.

62. Arist. Ethic. lib. 8.

Heere question is moued, whether the husband may correct the wife?

Here question is moved, whether the husband may correct the wife?

p. 127 Answ. Though the husband be the wiues head, yet it seemeth he hath no power nor libertie granted him in this regard. For we reade not in the Scriptures, any precept or example to warrant such practise of his authoritie. He may reproue & admonish her in word only, if he seeth her in fault. For, thus we reade, that Iacob censured his wife, being impatient, euen in anger, Gen. 30. 2. Am I in Gods stead, which hath withholden from thee, the fruit of the wombe? And Iob reproued his wife, Iob 2. 10. Thou speakest like a foolish woman. What? Shall we receiue good at the hand of God, and not receiue euill? But hee may not chastise her either with stripes, or stroks. The reason is plaine; Wiues are their husbands mates; and they two be one flesh. And no man will hate, much lesse beat his owne flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, Ephes. 5. 29. Againe, it is the commandement of God, that man should not trespasse against the wife of his youth, Malac. 2. 15. Chrysostome saith,⁶⁴ It is the greatest reproch for any man, that can bee, to beate his wife. Plutarch in the p. 128 life of Cato the Censor, affirmeth, that he which smiteth his wife, doth all one, as if he should lay violent hands vpon the sacred images of the gods, which was counted an high degree of offence among the Heathen.

64. In 1. Cor. 11. Homil. 26.

Answ. Though the husband be the wife’s head, yet it seemeth he hath no power nor liberty granted him in this regard. For we read not in the Scriptures, any precept or example to warrant such practise of his authority. He may reprove & admonish her in word only, if he seeth her in fault. For, thus we read, that Jacob censured his wife, being impatient, even in anger, Gen‸ 30:‸2. Am I in God’s stead, which hath withholden from thee, the fruit of the womb? And Job reproved his wife, Job 2:‸10. Thou speakest like a foolish woman. What? Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and not receive evil? But he may not chastise her either with stripes, or strokes. The reason is plain; wives are their husbands mates; and they two be one flesh. And no man will hate, much less beat his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, Eph 5:‸29. Again, it is the commandment of God, that man should not trespass against the wife of his youth, Mal 2:‸15. Chrysostom saith,⁶³ It is the greatest reproach for any man, that can be, to beat his wife. Plutarch in the life of Cato the Censor, affirmeth, that he which smiteth his wife, doth all one, as if he should lay violent hands upon the sacred images of the gods, which was counted an high degree of offence among the Heathen.

63. In 1‸ Cor‸ 11. Homil. 26.

It is alledged, Husbands are cōmanded so to loue their wiues, as Christ doth his Church; now Christ chastiseth his Church, with strokes; & therefore so may the husband his wife. Answ. As Christ doth entirely loue his Church, so hee may also chastise the same, because hee is not only the husband, but also absolute Lord and King of his Church: so is not the husband absolute ouer the wife.

It is alleged, husbands are commanded so to love their wives, as Christ doth his Church; now Christ chastiseth his Church, with strokes; & therefore so may the husband his wife. Answ. As Christ doth entirely love his Church, so he may also chastise the same, because he is not only the husband, but also absolute Lord and King of his Church: so is not the husband absolute over the wife.

But his authority ouer the wife, is after a sort ciuill, as is the authoritie of the Magistrate ouer his people. Ans. It is not so. For the Magistrate hath in his hand the power of the sword, by which power he inflicteth punishment in case of offence. But the husband can challenge to himselfe no such power:⁶⁵ yea it is flatly forbidden in the Ciuil law, that he should scourge or strike his wife.

65. L. Consensu. C. de diuortijs.

But his authority over the wife, is after a sort civil, as is the authority of the Magistrate over his people. Ans. It is not so. For the Magistrate hath in his hand the power of the sword, by which power he inflicteth punishment in case of offence. But the husband can challenge to himself no such power:⁶⁴ yea it is flatly forbidden in the Civil law, that he should scourge or strike his wife.

64. L. Consensu. C. de diuortijs.

p. 129 Neuerthelesse, if she grow to extremities, and be desperately peruerse, so as there be no hope of amendment; then the Magistrate may be informed, who to preuent scandals, and to prouide for publike peace, both ought and may assigne vnto her necessary correction, and punishment according to her desert. Now the husband that hath a wife so stubborne and peeuish, must beare it, if it may be borne, as the portion of his crosse laid vpon him by God. And in this case, if he be impatient, he may in some sort be pardoned and pitied, but he is not wholly to be excused.

Nevertheless, if she grow to extremities, and be desperately perverse, so as there be no hope of amendment; then the Magistrate may be informed, who to prevent scandals, and to provide for public peace, both ought and may assign unto her necessary correction, and punishment according to her desert. Now the husband that hath a wife so stubborn and peevish, must bear it, if it may be borne, as the portion of his cross laid upon him by God. And in this case, if he be impatient, he may in some sort be pardoned and pitied, but he is not wholly to be excused.