Then & Now · Volume I · 11 of 13
The Mystery and Practice of Marriage
The Mystery and Practice of Marriage
§. 90. Of the myſterie of the vnion of Chriſt and the Church.
§. 90. Of the mystery of the union of Christ and the Church.
EPHES. 5. 32. This is a great myſterie: but I ſpeake concerning Chriſt and the Church.
Eph 5:‸32.
This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church.
THis verſe is a concluſion of that excellent digreſſion which the Apoſtle hath made concerning the neere vnion of Chriſt and the Church.
This verse is a conclusion of that excellent digression which the Apostle hath made concerning the near union of Christ and the Church.
In it two points are to be noted.
In it two points are to be noted.
1. A patheticall exclamation (This is a great myſterie.)
1. A pathetical exclamation (This is a great mystery.)
2. A particular application of the forenamed law (but I ſpeake concerning Chriſt and the Church.
2. A particular application of the forenamed law (but I speak concerning Christ and the Church.)
Here firſt note that
Here first note that
The vnion betwixt Chriſt and the Church is a great myſterie.
The union betwixt Christ and the Church is a great mystery.
The Apoſtle could not haue ſaid more of it then to call it a myſterie, a great mysterie.
The Apostle could not have said more of it then to call it a mystery, a great mystery.
A Secret it is in two reſpects.
A Secret it is in two respects.
1. Becauſe it is not knowne.
1. Because it is not known.
2. Becauſe it is vnſearchable: the depth of it cannot be fathomed.
2. Because it is unsearchable: the depth of it cannot be fathomed.
It is a Diuine ſecret, for two other reſpects.
It is a Divine secret, for two other respects.
1. Becauſe it could not haue beene opened but by diuine reuelation.
1. Because it could not have been opened but by divine revelation.
2. Becauſe when it is opened it cannot be conceiued but by the illumination of the Spirit. That Spirit which openeth and reuealeth the myſterie, muſt alſo open the eies of our vnderſtanding to diſcerne aright of it.
2. Because when it is opened it cannot be conceived but by the illumination of the Spirit. That Spirit which openeth and revealeth the mystery, must also open the eyes of our understanding to discern aright of it.
It is further ſaid to be a great myſterie.
It is further said to be a great mystery.
2. Comparatiuely in relation to other myſteries: no myſterie reuealed in Gods word comparable to it.
2. Comparatively in relation to other mysteries: no mystery revealed in God’s word comparable to it.
Let vs not preſume to meaſure it with the line of our owne reaſon. It being a great myſterie, it is aboue our capacitie: yet becauſe it is reuealed we muſt beleeue it, as we doe the p. 125 myſteries of the Trinitie, of Chriſts eternall generation, of the perſonall vnion of his two natures, of the proceeding of the holy Ghoſt, with the like; becauſe the word hath reuealed them, though we cannot fully ſee the reaſon of them. Herein lieth a maine difference betwixt our eſtate in this world and in the world to come: here we muſt beleeue what we know but in part: there we ſhall perfectly know whatſoeuer is to be beleeued. Preachers can but in part make knowne this myſterie, and hearers can but in part conceiue it, let vs therefore wait for perfect vnderſtanding of it, till all things be perfected in Chriſt: but in the meane time beleeue without doubting or wauering, that which is reuealed of it.
Let us not presume to measure it with the line of our own reason. It being a great mystery, it is above our capacity: yet because it is revealed we must believe it, as we do the mysteries of the Trinity, of Christ’s eternal generation, of the personal union of his two natures, of the proceeding of the Holy Ghost, with the like; because the word hath revealed them, though we cannot fully see the reason of them. Herein lieth a main difference betwixt our estate in this world and in the world to come: here we must believe what we know but in part: there we shall perfectly know whatsoever is to be believed. Preachers can but in part make known this mystery, and hearers can but in part conceive it, let us therefore wait for perfect understanding of it, till all things be perfected in Christ: but in the mean time believe without doubting or wavering, that which is revealed of it.
In our meditation of this myſterie, let vs conceiue no carnall,895 no earthly thing of it, becauſe it is a myſterie: it is altogether ſpirituall and heauenly. From the naturall vnion of our head and bodie, and from the matrimoniall vnion of man and wife, we may and ought to take occaſion by way of reſemblance, to helpe our vnderſtanding in the vnion of Chriſt and his Church: for this end are theſe reſemblances vſed, and by this meanes may our vnderſtanding be much helped, as by the outward elements and rites which are vſed in the Sacraments: but if becauſe of theſe compariſons we draw this which is only and wholly ſpirituall, to any carnall matter, we ſhall make that to be a thicke miſt, and darke cloud, which is giuen for a light.
- 895. 2. Uſe. No carnall thing in our vnion with Chriſt. Eccleſia Chriſto in occulto vxor eſt. Occultè quippe atꝗ intus in abſcondito ſecreto ſpiritali anima humana inhaeret verbo Dei, vt ſint duo in carne vna. Aug. contr. Fauſt. Man. lib. 22. cap. 38.
In our meditation of this mystery, let us conceive no carnal,894 no earthly thing of it, because it is a mystery: it is altogether spiritual and heavenly. From the natural union of our head and body, and from the matrimonial union of man and wife, we may and ought to take occasion by way of resemblance, to help our understanding in the union of Christ and his Church: for this end are these resemblances used, and by this means may our understanding be much helped, as by the outward elements and rites which are used in the Sacraments: but if because of these comparisons we draw this which is only and wholly spiritual, to any carnal matter, we shall make that to be a thick mist, and dark cloud, which is given for a light.
- 894. 2. Use. No carnal thing in our union with Christ. Ecclesia Christo in occulto vxor est. Occultè quippe atque intus in abscondito secreto spiritali anima humana inhaeret verbo Dei, vt sint duo in carne vna. Aug. contr. Faust. Man. lib. 22. cap. 38.
The dotage of our aduerſaries is here plainly diſcouered. They make our vnion with Chriſt meerely carnall. For they conceit it to conſiſt in a corporeall commixtion of Chriſts fleſh with ours, by our eating his fleſh with the teeth of our bodies, and drinking his bloud downe our throats, and digeſting both896 in our ſtomacks as our bodily food, that ſo it may turne into our ſubſtance. Thus they ſhew themſelues like the dull-headed Capernaitans, and like ignorant Nicodemus. There is a great deale of groſſe abſurditie, but no great myſterie in that conceit.
- 896. 3. Uſe. Papiſts make our vnion with Chriſt a carnall matter. Joh 6. 52. Ioh. 3. 4.
The dotage of our adversaries is here plainly discovered. They make our union with Christ merely carnal. For they conceit it to consist in a corporeal commixtion of Christ’s flesh with ours, by our eating his flesh with the teeth of our bodies, and drinking his blood down our throats, and digesting both895 in our stomachs as our bodily food, that so it may turn into our substance. Thus they show themselves like the dull-headed Capernaitans, and like ignorant Nicodemus. There is a great deal of gross absurdity, but no great mystery in that conceit.
- 895. 3. Use. Papists make our union with Christ a carnal matter. John 6:‸52. John 3:‸4.
§. 91. Of the Popes vſurping to be Spouſe of the Church.
§. 91. Of the Popes usurping to be Spouse of the Church.
The Apoſtles application of this myſterie to Chriſt and the Church, diſcouereth two groſſe errours of the Papiſts.
The Apostles application of this mystery to Christ and the Church, discovereth two gross errors of the Papists.
One, that they make the Pope a Spouſe of the Church. With what face can any apply that to the Pope and the Church, p. 126 which the Apoſtle ſo expreſly ſaith is meant of Chriſt and the897 Church? yea, what arrogant preſumption is it, to attribute that to mortall ſinfull man, which is proper to the eternall and holy Sonne of God? Is not this to conferre Chriſts prerogatiues vpon himſelfe, and ſo make himſelfe plaine Antichriſt? Who gaue the Church to the Pope, or the Pope to the Church? When did ſhe giue her conſent? (I ſpeake of the true Catholike Church of Chriſt.) What hath he done for her? or rather what hath he not done againſt her? The898 diſtinction of Imperiall and Miniſteriall Spouſe, cannot here ſerue the turne. As the metaphor of an head, ſo much leſſe the metaphor of a Spouſe will admit a miniſteriall Spouſe. As he is an adulterer that taketh vpon him to be a miniſteriall husband, ſo is ſhe an adultereſſe that yeeldeth her ſelfe to ſuch an one. The Apoſtle ſaith, I haue eſpouſed you to ONE husband.899
One, that they make the Pope a Spouse of the Church. With what face can any apply that to the Pope and the Church, which the Apostle so expressly saith is meant of Christ and the896 Church? Yea, what arrogant presumption is it, to attribute that to mortal sinful man, which is proper to the eternal and holy son of God? Is not this to confer Christ’s prerogatives upon himself, and so make himself plain Antichrist? Who gave the Church to the Pope, or the Pope to the Church? When did she give her consent? (I speak of the true Catholic Church of Christ.) What hath he done for her? Or rather what hath he not done against her? The897 distinction of Imperial and Ministerial Spouse, cannot here serve the turn. As the metaphor of an head, so much less the metaphor of a Spouse will admit a ministerial Spouse. As he is an adulterer that taketh upon him to be a ministerial husband, so is she an adulteress that yieldeth her self to such an one. The Apostle saith, I have espoused you to ONE husband.898
§. 92. Of the falſe Sacrament of Mariage.
§. 92. Of the false Sacrament of Marriage.
The other error is, that Mariage is a Sacrament: the maine ground whereof they haue taken from this text, which ground by the Apoſtles application of this myſterie to Chriſt and the Church, is as plainly remoued, as if the Apoſtle had purpoſely ordered his ſtile, to preuent this erroneous collection: as if he had ſaid, That none may miſtake this myſterie, and apply it to a matrimoniall coniunction of man and woman together, know that I meane no ſuch thing: the myſterie which I ſpeake of, is concerning Chriſt and the Church. I maruell how they dare miſapply that which is ſo plainly expreſſed. Though the Apoſtle had not ſo clearely ſhewed his minde and meaning, yet the verie thing it ſelfe would lead vs ſo to iudge of it. For, that which in Chriſt900 and the Church is a great myſterie, in man and wife is but a ſmall matter. The vulgar Latine tranſlation firſt led them into this error, for it tranſlateth the word myſterie, a Sacrament. But a tranſlation is no ſufficient ground to proue a doctrine. Beſides the word Sacrament vſed by that Tranſlator, hath as large an extent as a myſterie: if they ſhould make euerie thing which he tranſlateth Sacrament, a proper Sacrament of the Church, there would be many more Sacraments then the Papiſts themſelues doe make.
- 900. Quod eſt in Chriſto & in Eccleſia magnum, hoc in ſingulis quibuſꝗ viris & vxoribus minimum. Aug. de nupt. & concup. lib. 1. cap. 21.
The other error is, that marriage is a Sacrament: the main ground whereof they have taken from this text, which ground by the Apostles application of this mystery to Christ and the Church, is as plainly removed, as if the Apostle had purposely ordered his style, to prevent this erroneous collection: as if he had said, That none may mistake this mystery, and apply it to a matrimonial conjunction of man and woman together, know that I mean no such thing: the mystery which I speak of, is concerning Christ and the Church. I marvel how they dare misapply that which is so plainly expressed. Though the Apostle had not so clearly showed his mind and meaning, yet the very thing it self would lead us so to judge of it. For, that which in Christ899 and the Church is a great mystery, in man and wife is but a small matter. The vulgar Latin translation first led them into this error, for it translateth the word mystery, a Sacrament. But a translation is no sufficient ground to prove a doctrine. Besides the word Sacrament used by that Translator, hath as large an extent as a mystery: if they should make every thing which he translateth Sacrament, a proper Sacrament of the Church, there would be many more Sacraments then the Papists themselves do make.
- 899. Quod est in Christo & in Ecclesia magnum, hoc in singulis quibusque viris & uxoribus minimum. Aug. de nupt. & concup. lib. 1. cap. 21.
1. As for this ſuppoſed Sacrament, no Papiſt could euer p. 127 ſhew when or where God ordained it to be a Sacrament. Nay, they agree not among themſelues about the time, how long it hath beene a Sacrament.901 Some of them hold, that euer ſince the firſt inſtitution of mariage in Paradiſe, it hath beene a Sacrament. But the greater number of Papiſts hold it to be a Sacrament902 of the new Teſtament vnder the Goſpell, becauſe their Tridentine Councell hath ſo decreed it. Where we may note how the greater number of them, when two abſurdities are queſtioned, are readie to fall into the worſt. Vnder the Law the nonage of the Church needed, and had more Sacraments then vnder the Goſpell: yet that which was in vſe as much vnder the Law as vnder the Goſpell, and had then as much to make it a Sacrament as now, was then none, yet now is one.
1. As for this supposed Sacrament, no Papist could ever show when or where God ordained it to be a Sacrament. Nay, they agree not among themselves about the time, how long it hath been a Sacrament.900 Some of them hold, that ever since the first institution of marriage in Paradise, it hath been a Sacrament. But the greater number of Papists hold it to be a Sacrament901 of the new Testament under the Gospel, because their Tridentine Council hath so decreed it. Where we may note how the greater number of them, when two absurdities are questioned, are ready to fall into the worst. Under the Law the nonage of the Church needed, and had more Sacraments then under the Gospel: yet that which was in use as much under the Law as under the Gospel, and had then as much to make it a Sacrament as now, was then none, yet now is one.
2. As they cannot ſhew where it was ordained for a Sacrament, ſo neither can they ſhew what is the Sacramentall ſigne thereof. Some make carnall copulation to be it. But there may be a true mariage, though the parties maried neuer know each other.
2. As they cannot show where it was ordained for a Sacrament, so neither can they show what is the Sacramental sign thereof. Some make carnal copulation to be it. But there may be a true marriage, though the parties married never know each other.
Others make the Parents giuing to be the ſigne. But they hold that that is a true mariage, which is done without parents conſent.
Others make the parents giving to be the sign. But they hold that that is a true marriage, which is done without parents consent.
Others the Prieſts bleſſing. Yet they hold the mariage of Infidels and Heretiques who haue no Prieſts, to be a true mariage.
Others the Priests blessing. Yet they hold the marriage of Infidels and Heretics who have no Priests, to be a true marriage.
Others, the conſent of the parties themſelues. Thus ſhall a partie adminiſter a Sacrament to himſelfe.
Others, the consent of the parties themselves. Thus shall a party administer a Sacrament to himself.
Others, other things. Thus they wanting the light of Gods word, one ſtrayeth in one by-path, another in another, and none of them hit vpon the right.
Others, other things. Thus they wanting the light of God’s word, one strayeth in one by-path, another in another, and none of them hit upon the right.
3. A like difference there is about the forme of this Sacrament.
3. A like difference there is about the form of this Sacrament.
4. If other poſitions deliuered by them concerning matrimonie be noted, a man would thinke that they ſhould be farre from making it a Sacrament. They preferre virginitie before it. Yea, they account it a kinde of pollution. They hold it vnlawfull for Prieſts, Monks, Nuns, and ſuch like holy orders (as they eſteeme them) to marie: ſo as there is a Sacrament, whereof their holy ones may not partake. The order of p. 128 Prieſthood is a Sacrament (in their account) yet that order keepeth from mariage, ſo as one Sacrament fighteth againſt another. Yea, Infidels may be partakers of a Sacrament, and ſo their holy and precious things ſhall be denied to their holy ones, and caſt vnto ſwine. Thus we ſee a rotten building erected vpon a ſandie foundation: a falſe Sacrament eſtabliſhed vpon a falſe application of this text. Can it then ſtand?
4. If other positions delivered by them concerning matrimony be noted, a man would think that they should be far from making it a Sacrament. They prefer virginity before it. Yea, they account it a kind of pollution. They hold it unlawful for Priests, Monks, Nuns, and such like holy orders (as they esteem them) to marry: so as there is a Sacrament, whereof their holy ones may not partake. The order of Priesthood is a Sacrament (in their account) yet that order keepeth from marriage, so as one Sacrament fighteth against another. Yea, Infidels may be partakers of a Sacrament, and so their holy and precious things shall be denied to their holy ones, and cast unto swine. Thus we see a rotten building erected upon a sandy foundation: a false Sacrament established upon a false application of this text. Can it then stand?
§. 93. Of the Summe of husbands and wiues duties.
§. 93. Of the Sum of husbands and wives duties.
EPHES. 5. 33. Neuertheleſſe, let euerie one of you in particular ſo loue his wife, euen as himſelfe: and the wife ſee that ſhe reuerence her husband.
Eph 5:‸33.
Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself: and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
THe Apoſtle hauing made a large digreſsion about the mutuall relation betwixt Chriſt and the Church, whom he propounded as patternes to husbands and wiues, he now returneth to the maine point intended, namely to the duties of husbands and wiues: and ſo much doth the firſt particle imply (Neuertheleſſe) as if he had thus ſaid, Though I haue a little digreſſed903 into the myſterie of the vnion of Chriſt and the Church, yet neuertheleſſe doe ye, ô husbands and wiues, call to minde that which I principally aimed at, euen your duties.
- 903. πλήν.
The Apostle having made a large digression about the mutual relation betwixt Christ and the Church, whom he propounded as patterns to husbands and wives, he now returneth to the main point intended, namely to the duties of husbands and wives: and so much doth the first particle imply (Nevertheless) as if he had thus said, Though I have a little digressed902 into the mystery of the union of Christ and the Church, yet nevertheless do ye, ô husbands and wives, call to mind that which I principally aimed at, even your duties.
- 902. πλήν.
This verſe then containeth a concluſion of the Apoſtles diſcourſe, concerning the duties of husbands and wiues.
This verse then containeth a conclusion of the Apostles discourse, concerning the duties of husbands and wives.
Two points are eſpecially noted therein.
- 1. A declaration of their ſeuerall and diſtinct duties.
- 2. A direction to apply their owne proper duties each of them to themſelues.
Two points are especially noted therein.
- A declaration of their several and distinct duties.
- A direction to apply their own proper duties each of them to themselves.
Their diſtinct duties are noted in two words, Loue.
Feare.
Their distinct duties are noted in two words‸
- Love.
- Fear.
Theſe two, as they are diſtinct duties in themſelues, ſo are they alſo common conditions which muſt be annexed to all other duties. Loue as ſugar to ſweeten the duties of authoritie, which appertaine to an husband. Feare as ſalt to ſeaſon all the duties of ſubiection which appertaine to a wife. The Apoſtle therefore hath ſet them downe as two marks for husbands and wiues to aime at in euerie thing wherein they haue to deale one with the other.
These two, as they are distinct duties in themselves, so are they also common conditions which must be annexed to all other duties. Love as sugar to sweeten the duties of authority, which appertain to an husband. Fear as salt to season all the duties of subjection which appertain to a wife. The Apostle therefore hath set them down as two marks for husbands and wives to aim at in every thing wherein they have to deal one with the other.
p. 129 Of theſe I will more diſtinctly ſpeake in the treatiſes of the particular duties of husbands and wiues.
Of these I will more distinctly speak in the treatises of the particular duties of husbands and wives.
§. 94. Of applying the word to our ſelues.
§. 94. Of applying the word to our selves.
The direction for a particular application of their owne proper duties to either of them is here eſpecially to be noted. In this direction two things are to be obſerued.
The direction for a particular application of their own proper duties to either of them is here especially to be noted. In this direction two things are to be observed.
1. That euery particular perſon apply to himſelfe that which by a Miniſter is indefinitly deliuered to all. Euery one904 of you in particular, ſaith the Apoſtle: which is as much as if he had thus more largely expreſſed his minde, I haue laid downe ſuch generall duties as all husbands and wiues without exception of any of what ranke or degree ſoeuer they be are bound vnto; which though by name I haue not ſeuerally deliuered to euerie one, one by one, but generally to you all, yet doe euerie one of you apply thoſe things to your ſelues in particular.
- 904. ὑμεῖς οἱ καθ’ ἕνα.
1. That every particular person apply to himself that which by a Minister is indefinitely delivered to all. Every one903 of you in particular, saith the Apostle: which is as much as if he had thus more largely expressed his mind, I have laid down such general duties as all husbands and wives without exception of any of what rank or degree soever they be are bound unto; which though by name I have not severally delivered to every one, one by one, but generally to you all, yet do every one of you apply those things to your selves in particular.
- 903. ὑμεῖς οἱ καθ’ ἕνα.
2. That euery one apply his owne peculiar dutie vnto himſelfe. Loue being peculiar to an husband, to him he ſaith, Let him loue his wife: and reuerence being peculiar to a wife, to her he ſaith, let the wife ſee that ſhe reuerence her huſband.
2. That every one apply his own peculiar duty unto himself. Love being peculiar to an husband, to him he saith, Let him love his wife: and reverence being peculiar to a wife, to her he saith, let the wife see that she reverence her husband.
The direction in euery of thoſe ſeuerall Epiſtles which were ſent to the ſeuen Churches of Aſia, (in theſe words, He that905 hath an eare, let him heare what the Spirit ſaith to the Churches) doth teach euerie member in any of thoſe Churches to apply to himſelfe that which was deliuered to the whole Church: ſo doth a like906 exhortation which Chriſt with an exclamation made to the people whom he taught in parables: and this declaration of the extent of Chriſts counſell, what I ſay to907 you, I ſay to all. To this purpoſe many precepts giuen to whole Churches, and to all ſorts of people are ſet downe in the ſingular number as giuen to one, as, Awake THOV that908 ſleepeſt. THOV ſtandeſt by faith: be not thou high minded &c.909
The direction in every of those several Epistles which were sent to the seven Churches of Asia, (in these words, He that904 hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith to the Churches) doth teach every member in any of those Churches to apply to himself that which was delivered to the whole Church: so doth a like905 exhortation which Christ with an exclamation made to the people whom he taught in parables: and this declaration of the extent of Christ’s counsel, what I say to906 you, I say to all. To this purpose many precepts given to whole Churches, and to all sorts of people are set down in the singular number as given to one, as, Awake THOU that907 sleepest. THOU standest by faith: be not thou high minded etc‸.908
The life and power of Gods word conſiſteth in this particular910 application thereof vnto our ſelues. This is to mixe faith with hearing: faith, I ſay, whereby we doe not only beleeue the truth of Gods word in generall, but alſo beleeue it to be a truth concerning our ſelues in particular: and thus will euery precept thereof be a good inſtruction and direction p. 130 on to vs to guide vs in the way of righteouſneſſe: euery promiſe therein will be a great incouragement, and conſolation to vs to vphold vs, and to make vs hold on: and euery iudgement threatned therein will be a curbe, and bridle to hold vs in, and to keepe vs from thoſe ſinnes againſt which the iudgements are threatned. But otherwiſe, if we bring not the word home to our own ſoules, it will be as a word ſpoken into the aire,911 vaniſhing away without any profit to vs. Nothing maketh the word leſſe profitable, then the putting of it off from our ſelues to others, thinking that it concernes others more then our ſelues.
The life and power of God’s word consisteth in this particular909 application thereof unto our selves. This is to mix faith with hearing: faith, I say, whereby we do not only believe the truth of God’s word in general, but also believe it to be a truth concerning our selves in particular: and thus will every precept thereof be a good instruction and direction unto us to guide us in the way of righteousness: every promise therein will be a great encouragement, and consolation to us to uphold us, and to make us hold on: and every judgment threatened therein will be a curb, and bridle to hold us in, and to keep us from those sins against which the judgments are threatened. But otherwise, if we bring not the word home to our own souls, it will be as a word spoken into the air,910 vanishing away without any profit to us. Nothing maketh the word less profitable, then the putting of it off from our selves to others, thinking that it concerns others more then our selves.
That we may make the better vſe of this doctrine, let vs obſerue both what are generall duties belonging to all Chriſtians, and apply them as particular to our ſelues: and alſo what duties appertaine to ſuch perſons as are of our place, calling, and condition, and more eſpecially apply them to our ſelues: let all manner of husbands, and all manner of wiues of what ranke or degree ſoeuer they be that ſhall read the duties hereafter following, know that they are ſpoken to them in particular. Let Kings and Queenes, Lords and Ladies, Miniſters and their wiues, Rich men and their wiues, Poore men and their wiues, Old men and their wiues, Young men and their wiues, all of all ſorts take them as ſpoken to them in particular. It is not honour, wealth, learning, or any other excellency, nor meanes of place, pouerty, want of learning, or any other like thing that can exempt an husband from louing his wife, or a wife from reuerencing her husband. He that ſaith euery one, excepteth not any one. Therefore euery one in particular doe yee ſo. The like application may be made to all Parents and children, Maſters and ſeruants, concerning their duties.
That we may make the better use of this doctrine, let us observe both what are general duties belonging to all Christians, and apply them as particular to our selves: and also what duties appertain to such persons as are of our place, calling, and condition, and more especially apply them to our selves: let all manner of husbands, and all manner of wives of what rank or degree soever they be that shall read the duties hereafter following, know that they are spoken to them in particular. Let Kings and Queens, Lords and Ladies, Ministers and their wives, Rich men and their wives, Poor men and their wives, Old men and their wives, Young men and their wives, all of all sorts take them as spoken to them in particular. It is not honour, wealth, learning, or any other excellency, nor means of place, poverty, want of learning, or any other like thing that can exempt an husband from loving his wife, or a wife from reverencing her husband. He that saith every one, excepteth not any one. Therefore every one in particular do ye so. The like application may be made to all parents and children, masters and servants, concerning their duties.
§. 95. Of euery ones looking to his owne dutie eſpecially.
§. 95. Of every ones looking to his own duty especially.
In the forenamed application an eye muſt be had rather to the dutie which we owe, and ought to be performed by vs to others, then to that which is due to vs, and others ought to performe to vs: for the Apoſtle ſaith not to the husband, ſee that thy wife reuerence thee, but ſee that thou loue her: ſo to the wife.
In the forenamed application an eye must be had rather to the duty which we owe, and ought to be performed by us to others, then to that which is due to us, and others ought to perform to us: for the Apostle saith not to the husband, see that thy wife reverence thee, but see that thou love her: so to the wife.
p. 131 For this purpoſe the holy Ghoſt preſſeth particular duties vpon thoſe particular perſons who ought to performe them: as Subiection on wiues: loue on husbands: and ſo in others. This therefore is eſpecially to be conſidered of thee, how thou912 maiſt ſhew thy ſelfe blameleſſe. I denie not but that one ought to prouoke another, and one to helpe another in what they can to performe their dutie, eſpecially ſuperiours who haue charge ouer others, but the moſt principall care of euery one ought to be for himſelfe, and greateſt conſcience to be made of performing his owne duty.
- 912. Vnum duntaxat tibi conſiderandum eſt, quo pacto te praeſtes innoxium. Chryſ. hom. 26. in 1 Cor. 11.
For this purpose the Holy Ghost presseth particular duties upon those particular persons who ought to perform them: as subjection on wives: love on husbands: and so in others. This therefore is especially to be considered of thee, how thou911 mayest show thy self blameless. I deny not but that one ought to provoke another, and one to help another in what they can to perform their duty, especially superiors who have charge over others, but the most principal care of every one ought to be for himself, and greatest conscience to be made of performing his own duty.
- 911. Vnum duntaxat tibi considerandum est, quo pacto te praestes innoxium. Chrys. hom. 26. in 1 Cor‸ 11.
1. It is more acceptable before God, and more commendable913 before men to doe duty, then to exact duty. As in matters of free charity, ſo alſo of bounden duty, It is more bleſſed to914 giue, then to receiue. In particular it is better for an husband to be a good husband, then to haue a good wife: ſo for a wife. To haue others faile in duty to vs may be an heauy croſſe, for vs to faile in our dutie to others is a fearefull curſe.
1. It is more acceptable before God, and more commendable912 before men to do duty, then to exact duty. As in matters of free charity, so also of bounden duty, It is more blessed to913 give, then to receive. In particular it is better for an husband to be a good husband, then to have a good wife: so for a wife. To have others fail in duty to us may be an heavy cross, for us to fail in our duty to others is a fearful curse.
2. Euery one is to giue an account of his owne particular915 duty. That which the Prophet ſpeaketh of father and ſonne, may be applied to husband and wife, and to all other ſorts of people, If a father doe that which is lawfull and right, he is iuſt, he916 ſhall ſurely liue: if he beget a ſonne that doth not ſo, he ſhall ſurely die, his bloud ſhall be vpon him. Againe, if a father doe that which is not good, he ſhall die in his iniquity: but if his ſonne doe that which is lawfull and right he ſhall ſurely liue. The righteouſneſſe of the righteous ſhall be vpon himſelfe: and the wickedneſſe of the wicked ſhall be vpon himſelfe. That this ſhall be ſo betwixt huſband and wife, may be gathered out of theſe words, Two ſhall917 be in one bed, the one ſhall be taken, the other left.
2. Every one is to give an account of his own particular914 duty. That which the Prophet speaketh of father and son, may be applied to husband and wife, and to all other sorts of people, If a father do that which is lawful and right, he is just, he915 shall surely live: if he beget a son that doth not so, he shall surely die, his blood shall be upon him. Again, if a father do that which is not good, he shall die in his iniquity: but if his son do that which is lawful and right he shall surely live. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself: and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself. That this shall be so betwixt husband and wife, may be gathered out of these words, Two shall916 be in one bed, the one shall be taken, the other left.
Let this be noted againſt the common vaine apologies which are made for neglect of duty, which is this, Dutie is not performed to me, why ſhall I doe dutie? when my husband doth his dutie, I will doe mine, ſaith the wife. And I mine, ſaith the husband, when my wife doth hers. What if he neuer doe his dutie, and ſo be damned, wilt thou neuer doe thine? This looking for of dutie at others hands, makes vs the more careleſſe of our owne.
Let this be noted against the common vain apologies which are made for neglect of duty, which is this, duty is not performed to me, why shall I do duty? when my husband doth his duty, I will do mine, saith the wife. And I mine, saith the husband, when my wife doth hers. What if he never do his duty, and so be damned, wilt thou never do thine? This looking for of duty at others hands, makes us the more careless of our own.
Doe you therefore O husbands looke eſpecially to your918 p. 132 owne duties, doe you loue your wiues: and you ô wiues looke919 you to yours eſpecially, doe you reuerence your husbands. For this end, let husbands read thoſe duties moſt diligently which concerne husbands, and wiues thoſe, which concerne wiues. Let not the husband ſay of the wiues duties, there are goodleſſons for my wife, and neglect his owne: nor the wife ſay the like of husbands duties, and not regard her owne. This is it that maketh the ſubiection of many wiues very harſh and irkeſome to them, becauſe their husbands that vrge and preſſe them thereto ſhew little, or no loue to them at all: and this is it that maketh many husbands very backwards in ſhewing loue, becauſe their wiues which expect much loue, ſhew little or no reuerence to their husbands. Wherefore Let euery one of you in particular ſo loue his wife, euen as himſelfe: and the wife ſee that ſhe reuerence her husband.
Do you therefore O husbands look especially to your917 own duties, do you love your wives: and you ô wives look918 you to yours especially, do you reverence your husbands. For this end, let husbands read those duties most diligently which concern husbands, and wives those, which concern wives. Let not the husband say of the wives duties, there are good lessons for my wife, and neglect his own: nor the wife say the like of husbands duties, and not regard her own. This is it that maketh the subjection of many wives very harsh and irksome to them, because their husbands that urge and press them thereto show little, or no love to them at all: and this is it that maketh many husbands very backwards in showing love, because their wives which expect much love, show little or no reverence to their husbands. Wherefore Let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself: and the wife see that she reverence her husband.