Then & Now · Volume I · 1 of 13

The Epistle Dedicatory

TO THE RIGHT HONOVRABLE, RIGHT VVorſhipfull, and other my beloued Pariſhioners, Inhabitants of the Precinct of Black-friers LONDON, ſuch ſufficiencie of Grace as may bring them to fulneſſe of Glory.

TO THE RIGHT HONOURABLE, RIGHT Worshipful, and other my beloved Parishioners, Inhabitants of the Precinct of Black-friers LONDON, such sufficiency of Grace as may bring them to fulness of Glory.

IF noble Birth, high Honour, great Eſtate, true Piety, bountifull Charity, good Eſteeme of Gods word and Miniſters, and in particular, intire loue of the Author, be inducements to chooſe a Patron for his worke, I, for my part, need not goe farre for a Patron. In mine owne pariſh are all theſe. To you therefore (right Honourable, right Worſhipfull, and other my beloued Pariſhioners, moſt worthy of all due reſpect) doe I dedicate theſe my poore paines about Domeſticall Duties. To teſtifie the equall dutie which I owe, and the impartiall reſpect which I beare to you all, I make you all as one Patron. You were the firſt ouer whom I euer had any miniſteriall charge. To this charge by your free choice was I called. Among you haue I ſpent¹ almoſt two full prentiſhips. You haue alwaies ſo accepted my paines, and reſpected my perſon, as I neuer had any cauſe to repent my acceptance of this place, and calling: but rather to thanke God for the ſame. My deſire is (if ſo it may ſeeme good to the diuine prouidence) to ſpend all my daies among you: and, while I am among you, to helpe forward your ſpirituall edification. This is the maine end of my calling, and the marke, which, as in the ordinary courſe of my Miniſtry, ſo in the publiſhing of theſe Eight Treatiſes of Domeſticall Duties, and dedicating them to you, I haue aimed at. As in teſtimony of Loue and Dutie I haue preached in your hearing, and publiſhed in your name theſe Duties, ſo doe you manifeſt your kinde acceptance of my former, and latter paines, by a conſcionable obſeruing of them, ſo farre forth as they are agreeable to Gods word: that all who know you, may know by that euident demonſtration, how well you haue reliſhed and approued them. Thus ſhall you gaine much profit, and my ſelfe much comfort by my paines. Oh if the head and ſeuerall members of a family would be perſwaded euery of them to be conſcionable in performing their owne particular duties, what a ſweet ſociety, and happy harmony would there be in houſes? What excellent ſeminaries would families be to Church and Commonwealth?² Neceſſary it is that good order be firſt ſet in families: for as they were before other polities, ſo they are ſomewhat the more neceſſary: and good members of a family are like to make good members of Church and common-wealth. The ſubiect matter therefore of theſe Treatiſes is worth the handling, if I were able according to the worth thereof to handle it. I haue endeuoured to doe what I could therein, though I haue not attained to what I would. Be you like vnto God, who, if there be firſt a willing mind, accepteth according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not. Though for ſuch a matter as is handled in theſe Treatiſes, the worke may ſeeme at firſt ſight to be too copious, yet I hope the obſeruant Reader will not finde it too tedious. It is the variety of many,³ not the prolixity of few points which hath made this booke to ſwell to that bigneſſe which it hath. The firſt Treatiſe (which is a fourth part of the booke) containeth a Commentary on that part of Scripture out of which Domeſticall Duties are raiſed: wherein the Apoſtle ſetting forth Chriſt and the Church as patternes to husbands and wiues, liuely declareth the great loue of Chriſt to his Church, and the neere vnion betwixt them, together with other deepe myſteries, the vnfolding whereof hath a little the longer detained me. But as I haue a while inſiſted on maine matters of much moment, ſo haue I very briefly paſſed ouer other points. The other Treatiſes, wherein the Duties themſelues are handled, are euery of them much ſhorter then the firſt. In them I haue barely propounded and briefly proued the truth and equity of the ſeuerall duties, except ſome choice points which are of eſpeciall vſe, or at leaſt through diſuſe much queſtioned: and them I haue more largely handled. And becauſe contraries laid together⁴ doe much ſet forth each other in their liuely colours, I haue to euery duty annexed the contrary fault, and aberration from it. For many that heare the duties thinke all well enough, till they heare alſo the contrary vices, whereby in their conſciences they are moſt conuinced. Concerning the many faults and vices of bad Husbands, Wiues, Parents, Children, Maſters and Seruants, taxed in theſe Treatiſes, let me intreat you, not to apply them too generally to all Husbands, Wiues, Parents, Children, Maſters and Seruants. Hath not wiſe Solomon much taxed the lightneſſe, ſhrewiſhneſſe, pride, flattery, and other vices of women? And ſhall ſober, meeke, humble, honeſt women thinke themſelues taxed thereby? By like reaſon might vnchaſte ſtrumpets, vntruſty goſsips, vnquiet ſhrewes, and proud dames thinke themſelues commended by thoſe excellent commendations which be giueth of good women. Let euery one, as their conſcience (an impartiall Iudge) ſhall beare them witneſſe, make a right application of euery thing to themſelues. Thus ſhall we Miniſters be freed from many euill ſurmizes. I remember that when theſe Domeſticall Duties were firſt vttered out of the pulpit, much exception was taken againſt the application of a wiues ſubiection to the reſtraining of her from diſpoſing the common goods of the family without, or againſt her husbands conſent. But ſurely they that made thoſe exceptions did not well thinke of the Cautions and Lamitations which were then deliuered, and are now againe expreſly noted: which are, that the foreſaid reſtraint be not extended to the⁵ proper goods of a wife, no nor ouerſtrictly to ſuch⁶ goods as are ſet apart for the vſe of the family, nor to⁷ extraordinary caſes, nor alwaies to an⁸ expreſſe conſent, nor to the⁹ conſent of ſuch husbands as are impotent, or farre and long abſent. If any other warrantable caution ſhall be ſhewed me, I will be as willing to admit it, as any of theſe. Now that my meaning may not ſtill be peruerted, I pray you, in reading the reſtraint of wiues power in diſpoſing the goods of the family, euer beare in minde thoſe Cautions. Other exceptions were made againſt ſome other particular duties of wiues. For many that can patiently enough heare their duties declared in generall termes, cannot endure to heare thoſe generals exemplified in their particular branches. This commeth too neere to the quicke, and pierceth too deepe. But (to interpret all, according to the rule of loue, in the better part) I take the maine reaſon of the many exceptions which were taken, to be this, that wiues duties (according to the Apoſtles method) being in the firſt place handled, there was taught (as muſt haue beene taught, except the truth ſhould haue beene betrayed) what a wife, in the vttermoſt extent of that ſubiection vnder which God hath put her, is bound vnto, in caſe her husband will ſtand vpon the vttermoſt of his authority: which was ſo taken, as if I had taught that an husband might, and ought to exact the vttermoſt, and that a wife was bound in that vttermoſt extent to doe all that was deliuered as dutie, whether her husband exact it or no. But when I came to deliuer husbands duties,¹⁰ I ſhewed, that he ought not to exact whatſoeuer his wife was bound vnto (in caſe it were exacted by him) but that he ought to make her a ioynt Gouernour of the family with himſelfe, and referre the ordering of many things to her diſcretion, and with all honourable and kinde reſpect to carrie himſelfe towards her. In a word, I ſo ſet downe an husbands duties, as if he be wiſe and conſcionable in obſeruing them, his wife can haue no iuſt cauſe to complaine of her ſubiection. That which maketh a wiues yoake heauy and hard, is an husbands abuſe of his authority: and more preſsing his wiues dutie, then performing his owne: which is directly contrary to the¹¹ Apoſtles rule. This iuſt Apologie I haue beene forced to make, that I might not euer be iudged (as ſome haue cenſured me)¹² an hater of women. Now that in all thoſe places where a wiues yoke may ſeeme moſt to pinch, I might giue ſome eaſe, I haue to euery head of wiues duties made a reference, in the margin ouer againſt it, to the duties of husbands anſwerable thereunto, and noted the reference with this marke *, that it might the more readily be turned vnto. Yea I haue further parallel’d, and laid euen one againſt another in one view, the heads of husbands and wiues duties, as they anſwer each other: and in like manner the contrary aberrations: with a reference made vnto the particular ſections where they are handled: that ſo on the one ſide it may appeare, that if both of them be conſcionable and carefull to performe their owne duty, the matrimoniall yoke will ſo equally lie on both their necks, as the wife will be no more pinched therewith then the husband, but that it will be like Chriſts ſpirituall yoke, light and eaſie: and that on the¹³ other ſide it may be manifeſt that there is commonly as much failing by husbands in their duties, as by wiues in theirs. This parallel and euen-ſetting out of each of their duties, and of the contrary aberrations, I haue annexed next to this epiſtle. And further I haue added thereto a table of the ſeuerall heads of thoſe points that are handled in the eight following Treatiſes, that by this helpe you may the more readily finde out ſuch particular points as you deſire moſt eſpecially to read. To ſhew that the duties preſcribed to Husbands, Wiues, Parents, Children, Maſters, and Seruants, are ſuch as in conſcience they are bound vnto, I haue endeuoured to ſhew how they are grounded on the word of God, and gathered from thence. To auoid prolixity, I haue referred moſt of the quotations to the margin. If your leiſure will ſerue you, you may doe well to ſearch them out. Two things haue beene eſpeciall helpes to me for finding out the many duties noted in theſe Treatiſes, & vices contrary thereunto: Obſeruation and Diſpoſition. Obſeruation both of ſuch duties as the Scripture commendeth and contrary vices as it condemneth: and alſo of ſuch commendable virtues as I well liked in thoſe Husbands, Wiues, Parents, Children, Maſters, and Seruants, that I came among, and ſuch vnſeemely vices as I diſliked in them: and Diſpoſition of one point after another in the beſt order that I could. My method and manner of proceeding brought many things to my minde, which otherwiſe might haue ſlipped by. For by method ſundry and ſeuerall points appertaining to one matter are drawne forth, as in a chaine one linke draweth vp another. There is no better way to finde out many obſeruations in a text, then by a methodicall reſolution thereof. As method is an helpe to Inuention, ſo alſo to retention. It is as the thread or wier whereon pearles are put, which keepeth them from ſcattering. And if a man by abundance of matter be caſt into a labyrinth, by the helpe of method he may eaſily and readily finde out the way againe. In which reſpects method is fitly ſtiled the¹⁴ Mother of the Minde, and Miſtreſſe of Memorie. If you well marke the order and dependance of points one vpon another, you will finde as great an helpe in conceiuing and remembring¹⁵ them, as I did in inuenting and diſpoſing them.

1. Since Midſommer. 1608.
2. πρότερον καὶ ἀναγκαιότερον οἰκία πόλεως. Ariſt. Eth. lib. 8. cap. 12. [moved in the edition]
3. Μακρολόγος ἐστὶν ὁ περὶ ὀλίγων πολλὰ λέγων. Πολυλόγος ὁ περὶ πολλῶν πολλά. Ammon. Multum loqui eſt rem ſuperfluis agere verbis. Aug. Epiſt. 121. ad Prob.
4. παρ’ ἄλληλα τὰ ἐναντία μάλιστα φαίνεται. Ariſt. Rhet. lib. 3. cap. 2.
5. Paraphernalia. Treat. 3. §. 21. [moved in the edition]
6. Ibid. [moved in the edition]
7. Treat. 3. §. 22. [moved in the edition]
8. Treat. 3. §. 19. [moved in the edition]
9. Treat. 3. §. 18. [moved in the edition]
10. Treat. 4. §. 18.
11. Epheſ. 5. 33. See Treat. 1. §. 95.
12. μισογύνης. Athen.
13. Mat. 11. 30. [moved in the edition]
14. Methodusintelligentiae parens eſt, & magiſtra memoriae.
15. Ordo memoriae maximè, lumen affert. Cic. 2. de Orat.

If noble Birth, high honour, great estate, true Piety, bountiful Charity, good Esteem of God’s word and Ministers, and in particular, entire love of the Author, be inducements to choose a Patron for his work, I, for my part, need not go far for a Patron. In mine own parish are all these. To you therefore (right Honourable, right Worshipful, and other my beloved Parishioners, most worthy of all due respect) do I dedicate these my poor pains about Domestical duties. To testify the equal duty which I owe, and the impartial respect which I bear to you all, I make you all as one Patron. You were the first over whom I ever had any ministerial charge. To this charge by your free choice was I called. Among you have I spent¹ almost two full apprenticeships. You have always so accepted my pains, and respected my person, as I never had any cause to repent my acceptance of this place, and calling: but rather to thank God for the same. My desire is (if so it may seem good to the divine providence) to spend all my days among you: and, while I am among you, to help forward your spiritual edification. This is the main end of my calling, and the mark, which, as in the ordinary course of my Ministry, so in the publishing of these Eight Treatises of Domestical duties, and dedicating them to you, I have aimed at. As in testimony of love and duty I have preached in your hearing, and published in your name these duties, so do you manifest your kind acceptance of my former, and latter pains, by a conscionable observing of them, so far forth as they are agreeable to God’s word: that all who know you, may know by that evident demonstration, how well you have relished and approved them. Thus shall you gain much profit, and my self much comfort by my pains. Oh if the head and several members of a family would be persuaded every of them to be conscionable in performing their own particular duties, what a sweet society, and happy harmony would there be in houses? What excellent seminaries would families be to Church and commonwealth? Necessary it is that good order be first set in families: for as they were before other polities, so they are somewhat the more necessary:² and good members of a family are like to make good members of Church and common-wealth. The subject matter therefore of these Treatises is worth the handling, if I were able according to the worth thereof to handle it. I have endeavoured to do what I could therein, though I have not attained to what I would. Be you like unto God, who, if there be first a willing mind, accepteth according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not. Though for such a matter as is handled in these Treatises, the work may seem at first sight to be too copious, yet I hope the observant Reader will not find it too tedious. It is the variety of many,³ not the prolixity of few points which hath made this book to swell to that bigness which it hath. The first Treatise (which is a fourth part of the book) containeth a Commentary on that part of Scripture out of which Domestical duties are raised: wherein the Apostle setting forth Christ and the Church as patterns to husbands and wives, lively declareth the great love of Christ to his Church, and the near union betwixt them, together with other deep mysteries, the unfolding whereof hath a little the longer detained me. But as I have a while insisted on main matters of much moment, so have I very briefly passed over other points. The other Treatises, wherein the duties themselves are handled, are every of them much shorter then the first. In them I have barely propounded and briefly proved the truth and equity of the several duties, except some choice points which are of especial use, or at least through disuse much questioned: and them I have more largely handled. And because contraries laid together⁴ do much set forth each other in their lively colours, I have to every duty annexed the contrary fault, and aberration from it. For many that hear the duties think all well enough, till they hear also the contrary vices, whereby in their consciences they are most convinced. Concerning the many faults and vices of bad husbands, wives, parents, children, masters and servants, taxed in these Treatises, let me entreat you, not to apply them too generally to all husbands, wives, parents, children, masters and servants. Hath not wise Solomon much taxed the lightness, shrewishness, pride, flattery, and other vices of women? And shall sober, meek, humble, honest women think themselves taxed thereby? By like reason might unchaste strumpets, untrusty gossips, unquiet shrews, and proud dames think themselves commended by those excellent commendations which he giveth of good women. Let every one, as their conscience (an impartial Judge) shall bear them witness, make a right application of every thing to themselves. Thus shall we Ministers be freed from many evil surmises. I remember that when these Domestical duties were first uttered out of the pulpit, much exception was taken against the application of a wives subjection to the restraining of her from disposing the common goods of the family without, or against her husbands consent. But surely they that made those exceptions did not well think of the Cautions and Limitations which were then delivered, and are now again expressly noted: which are, that the foresaid restraint be not extended to the proper goods of a wife,⁵ no nor overstrictly to such goods as are set apart for the use of the family,⁶ nor to extraordinary cases,⁷ nor always to an express consent,⁸ nor to the consent of such husbands as are impotent, or far and long absent.⁹ If any other warrantable caution shall be showed me, I will be as willing to admit it, as any of these. Now that my meaning may not still be perverted, I pray you, in reading the restraint of wives power in disposing the goods of the family, ever bear in mind those Cautions. Other exceptions were made against some other particular duties of wives. For many that can patiently enough hear their duties declared in general terms, cannot endure to hear those generals exemplified in their particular branches. This cometh too near to the quick, and pierceth too deep. But (to interpret all, according to the rule of love, in the better part) I take the main reason of the many exceptions which were taken, to be this, that wives duties (according to the Apostles method) being in the first place handled, there was taught (as must have been taught, except the truth should have been betrayed) what a wife, in the uttermost extent of that subjection under which God hath put her, is bound unto, in case her husband will stand upon the uttermost of his authority: which was so taken, as if I had taught that an husband might, and ought to exact the uttermost, and that a wife was bound in that uttermost extent to do all that was delivered as duty, whether her husband exact it or no. But when I came to deliver husbands duties,¹⁰ I showed, that he ought not to exact whatsoever his wife was bound unto (in case it were exacted by him) but that he ought to make her a joint Governor of the family with himself, and refer the ordering of many things to her discretion, and with all honourable and kind respect to carry himself towards her. In a word, I so set down an husbands duties, as if he be wise and conscionable in observing them, his wife can have no just cause to complain of her subjection. That which maketh a wives yoke heavy and hard, is an husbands abuse of his authority: and more pressing his wives duty, then performing his own: which is directly contrary to the¹¹ Apostles rule. This just Apology I have been forced to make, that I might not ever be judged (as some have censured me)¹² an hater of women. Now that in all those places where a wives yoke may seem most to pinch, I might give some ease, I have to every head of wives duties made a reference, in the margin over against it, to the duties of husbands answerable thereunto, and noted the reference with this mark *, that it might the more readily be turned unto. Yea I have further parallel’d, and laid even one against another in one view, the heads of husbands and wives duties, as they answer each other: and in like manner the contrary aberrations: with a reference made unto the particular sections where they are handled: that so on the one side it may appear, that if both of them be conscionable and careful to perform their own duty, the matrimonial yoke will so equally lie on both their necks, as the wife will be no more pinched therewith then the husband, but that it will be like Christ’s spiritual yoke, light and easy:¹³ and that on the other side it may be manifest that there is commonly as much failing by husbands in their duties, as by wives in theirs. This parallel and even-setting out of each of their duties, and of the contrary aberrations, I have annexed next to this epistle. And further I have added thereto a table of the several heads of those points that are handled in the eight following Treatises, that by this help you may the more readily find out such particular points as you desire most especially to read. To show that the duties prescribed to husbands, wives, parents, children, masters, and servants, are such as in conscience they are bound unto, I have endeavoured to show how they are grounded on the word of God, and gathered from thence. To avoid prolixity, I have referred most of the quotations to the margin. If your leisure will serve you, you may do well to search them out. Two things have been especial helps to me for finding out the many duties noted in these Treatises, & vices contrary thereunto: Observation and Disposition. Observation both of such duties as the Scripture commendeth and contrary vices as it condemneth: and also of such commendable virtues as I well liked in those husbands, wives, parents, children, masters, and servants, that I came among, and such unseemly vices as I disliked in them: and Disposition of one point after another in the best order that I could. My method and manner of proceeding brought many things to my mind, which otherwise might have slipped by. For by method sundry and several points appertaining to one matter are drawn forth, as in a chain one link draweth up another. There is no better way to find out many observations in a text, then by a methodical resolution thereof. As method is an help to Invention, so also to retention. It is as the thread or wire whereon pearls are put, which keepeth them from scattering. And if a man by abundance of matter be cast into a labyrinth, by the help of method he may easily and readily find out the way again. In which respects method is fitly styled the¹⁴ mother of the Mind, and mistress of Memory. If you well mark the order and dependance of points one upon another, you will find as great an help in conceiving and remembering¹⁵ them, as I did in inventing and disposing them.

1. Since Midsummer. 1608.
2. πρότερον καὶ ἀναγκαιότερον οἰκία πόλεως. Arist. Eth. lib. 8. cap. 12. [moved here by the editor]
3. Μακρολόγος ἐστὶν ὁ περὶ ὀλίγων πολλὰ λέγων. Πολυλόγος ὁ περὶ πολλῶν πολλά. Ammon. Multum loqui est rem superfluis agere verbis. Aug. Epist. 121. ad Prob.
4. παρ’ ἄλληλα τὰ ἐναντία μάλιστα φαίνεται. Arist. Rhet. lib. 3. cap. 2.
5. Paraphernalia. Treat. 3. §. 21. [moved here by the editor]
6. Ibid. [moved here by the editor]
7. Treat. 3. §. 22. [moved here by the editor]
8. Treat. 3. §. 19. [moved here by the editor]
9. Treat. 3. §. 18. [moved here by the editor]
10. Treat. 4. §. 18.
11. Eph 5:‸33. See Treat. 1. §. 95.
12. μισογύνης. Athen.
13. Matt 11:‸30. [moved here by the editor]
14. Methodus intelligentiae parens est, & magistra memoriae.
15. Ordo memoriae maximè, lumen affert. Cic. 2. de Orat.

Becauſe there is not one word to compriſe vnder it both maſters and miſtreſſes, as fathers and mothers are compriſed vnder Parents, and ſonnes and daughters vnder Children, I haue according to the Scripture phraſe compriſed Miſtreſſes vnder Maſters: ſo as the duties enioyned to them belong to theſe, ſo farre as may ſtand with their ſex. To conclude, in recompence of all my paines I heartily pray you all to pray heartily for him who daily praieth for you, euen¹⁶

16. Church-court in Black-Fryers London. 2. Febr. 1621.

Because there is not one word to comprise under it both masters and mistresses, as fathers and mothers are comprised under parents, and sons and daughters under children, I have according to the Scripture phrase comprised mistresses under masters: so as the duties enjoined to them belong to these, so far as may stand with their sex. To conclude, in recompense of all my pains I heartily pray you all to pray heartily for him who daily prayeth for you, even¹⁶

16. Church-court in Black-Fryers London. 2. Febr. 1621.

The Watch-man of your ſoules, WILLIAM GOVGE.

The Watch-man of your souls, WILLIAM GOUGE.