Getting Married

II. When both parties haue manifeſted a mutuall liking¹²⁶ each to other, and vpon mature deliberation and good aduice doe conceiue one to be a fit match for another, it is requiſite that a ioynt conſent and abſolute promiſe of marying one another before ſufficient witneſſes be made. This rightly made is a contract, which is the beginning of a mariage.

1. 126. Ubi non eſt conſenſus vtriuſque, non poteſt eſſe matrimonium. Inſtit. iur. can. lib. 2. de nupt. tit. 11.

The right making of a firme contract conſiſteth in two things:

1. In an actuall taking of each other for eſpouſed man and wife.

2. In a direct promiſe of marying each other within a conuenient time. So as a forme of contract may be made to this purpoſe; Firſt the man taking the woman by the hand to ſay, I A. take thee B. to my eſpouſed wife, and doe faithfully promiſe to marie thee in time meet and conuenient. And then the woman againe taking the man by the hand to ſay, I B. take thee A. to my eſpouſed husband, and doe faithfully promiſe to yeeld to be maried to thee in time meet and conuenient. This mutuall and actuall taking of one another for eſpouſed man and wife in the time preſent, and a direct promiſe of marying one another afterwards, ſetleth ſuch a right and property of the one in the other as cannot be alienated without licence had from the great Iudge of heauen, who hath by his diuine ordinance ſetled that right.

Anſw. Though it haue beene an ancient cuſtome continued¹²⁷ in all ages, yet I dare not pronounce it to be ſo abſolutely neceſſary, as the want thereof ſhould nullifie a mariage, and make it to be no lawfull mariage. But ſurely it is ſo meet and requiſite, as I would aduiſe all Chriſtians that deſire a bleſſing and good ſucceſſe on their mariage to be contracted before they are maried.

1. 127. Mos ille vete ribus erat ante multum tempus ſponſalia facere. Chryſ. in Gen. Hom. 43.

p. 199 If there were no other ground for it but this, that God hath ſanctified it, and commended it vnto vs by his word, it were enough to perſwade ſuch as feare God to vſe it.

For I demand, why doth God commend vnto his Church any thing by his word, but that his Church ſhould make conſcience of vſing it? Now that by Gods word it is commended, is without contradiction moſt euident. For, not to inſiſt on that argument which, not without good probability, is alleaged for the antiquity of a contract, and thus collected from Gods ordering of that firſt ancient mariage betwixt Adam and¹²⁸ Euah, God brought Euah to Adam on the firſt day that they were created to ſee how he would like her, and vpon the ſight of her, and notice which withall he had of her, by that wiſdome which God gaue him, he then tooke her to himſelfe: which taking is ſuppoſed to be but a contract, becauſe¹²⁹ he did not know her till after his fall. If it be obiected that Adam and Euah are called¹³⁰ man and wife in the time of their innocencie. It may bee anſwered that thoſe titles¹³¹ are in Scripture giuen to ſuch as are only contracted, to ſhew the neere and firme coniunction betwixt parties eſpouſed.

1. 128. Gen. 2. 22.
2. 129. Gen. 4. 1.
3. 130. Gen. 2. 25. [moved in the edition]
4. 131. Deut. 22. 24. Gen. 19. 14. Conſuetudine Scripturarum ſponſi viri, & ſponſae vocantur vxores. Hier. in Mat. 1.

But not to inſiſt on that which is but probable, it is more then probable that Lots daughters were contracted: for it is ſaid that¹³² Lot had ſonnes in law which maried (or rather ſhould marie) his daughters: and withall it is ſaid that they had not knowne man: now then it muſt needs follow that they were called Lots ſonnes in law becauſe his daughters were eſpouſed to them. But moſt euident for this purpoſe is that difference which the¹³³ law putteth betwixt a pure virgin, an eſpouſed maid, and a maried wife. So as contracted perſons are in a middle degree betwixt ſingle perſons, and maried perſons: they are neither ſimply ſingle, nor actually maried. To ſhew that this cuſtome of a contract before mariage continued in Gods Church among the Saints, it is expreſly noted that Marie the mother of the Lord¹³⁴ Ieſus who liued many hundred yeares after that law, was contracted.

1. 132. Gen. 19. 14, 8. Quia iam deſponſatio facta erat, ideo vocat eos generos. Chryſ. in hunc loc. [moved in the edition]
2. 133. Deut. 22. 22, &c.
3. 134. Luk. 1. 27.

Many good and weightie reaſons may be alledged to ſhew how requiſite it is that a contract ſhould go before mariage. For

1. It addeth much to the honour of mariage, that it ſhould be deliberatly and aduiſedly ſtep after ſtep, by one degree after another conſummated and made vp.

2. It putteth a difference betwixt ſuch as intend mariage in the feare of the Lord, for ſuch holy ends as are warranted in the word, and ſuch as intend it only to ſatisfie their luſt, or for other like carnall ends. For theſe can admit no delay, as was noted¹³⁵ before. But they that vſe this ſolemne preparation by a contract before mariage, ſhew that they deſire to haue all things fit for ſo ſacred a matter duly performed; and therefore they are content to make ſome ſtay for the better effecting thereof.

1. 135. In the end of §. 13.

3. It is a meanes of knitting the hearts of the two parties to be maried more firmely and inuiolably together before they come to dwell together. For a contract being the beginning of a mariage, it is an euident demonſtration of Gods counſell concerning the parties contracted, that God hath prepared them each for other to be man and wife: ſo as after the contract is made, they may ſimply and abſolutely pray each for other, that God would bleſſe them one to another, to liue comfortably and happily together. Before a contract is made, they can but vpon ſuppoſition (if God haue appointed them to be man and wife) pray one for another. For oft it falleth out that after many great hopes and likelihoods of proceeding in ſuch or ſuch a match, by ſome occaſion or other it is cleane broken off: but a lawfull contract knitteth ſo firme a knot as cannot be broken: ſo as a man may conclude that being contracted to a woman ſhe ſhall be his wife: and ſo may a woman conclude of a man. The conſideration hereof will further moue them more narrowly to obſerue what good qualities, or what other things, which may make them more louely one to another, are in each other.

4. It is a meanes to make them before hand prepare themſelues to perfome ſuch mariage duties as Gods word requireth of man and wife. For a contract giueth them aſſurance of p. 201 mariage if they liue vnto it: ſo as then they cannot but know that it is high time for them to thinke how they are to carrie themſelues, when they come to liue in houſe together: and withall to conſider, what croſſes ordinarily doe accompanie the maried eſtate, that they may be before hand prepared wiſely to paſſe them ouer, or patiently to vndergoe them.

5. It may be a meanes of diſcouering many hidden and cloſe inconueniences, which otherwiſe would neuer come to light. For many friends fearing leſt the diſcouering of ſome euils which are carried cloſely, ſhould make a breach betwixt themſelues and their friends, will not make them knowne till they ſee ſome vrgent neceſſitie to moue them ſo to doe. Though the euill be ſuch, as being knowne would hinder mariage, yet till they ſee ſome ſure euidence, that they ſhall indeed be maried (if no iuſt exception be put in) they will hope that ſome other occaſion may fall out to hinder the mariage, and in that reſpect conceale their exception. But becauſe a contract is the beginning of mariage, after they haue notice therof, they will not forbeare to diſcloſe what they know. For this end is it, that the contract is three ſeuerall times openly publiſhed in the Church, that if any doe know any iuſt cauſe why ſuch perſons as are contracted may not lawfully proceed to mariage, they make knowne the ſame. A commendable cuſtome: and great pitty, that it is ſo much neglected as it is.

6. It may preuent many plots and practiſes of inueigling, or ſtealing away maids and widowes. For it oft falleth out, that when parents or other friends haue prouided a good match for their daughter, or for ſome other vnder their gouernment, and all things on all parts well concluded, the wedding day appointed, and all things fitted and prepared for the ſolemnizing of the wedding, ſome deſirous to foreſtall that mariage, by ſecret and cunning deuices get the bride away a few daies before, if not on the very morning of the intended wedding day, and mary her out of hand to another. That which maketh men ſo bold is, that they know a clandeſtine mariage being conſummate ſhall ſtand firme in law. But a legall contract preuenteth ſuch miſchiefes, becauſe it maketh ſuch a furtiue mariage vtterly void. None therfore knowing p. 202 that a contract is lawfully made before hand, will be ſo bold, or rather ſo mad, as to offer to fruſtrate a mariage after any ſuch manner.

7. It is a meanes to ſtirre vp the parties which are to be maried, more carefully and diligently to prouide all things fit for their dwelling together, and well ordering their houſhold before hand; that they be not to ſeeke for neceſſaries when they ſhould vſe them. For being contracted, they know that it cannot be long ere they muſt come to dwell together.

There are two extremes contrarie to the forenamed doctrine of a contract. One of attributing too much to it: another of derogating too much from it. Many make it a very mariage, and thereupon haue a greater ſolemnitie at their contract, then¹³⁶ at their mariage: yea many take libertie after a contract to know their ſpouſe, as if they were maried: an unwarrantable and diſhoneſt practiſe. Lots daughters were¹³⁷ contracted to husbands, and yet they are ſaid to haue knowne no man. The law ſtileth her that is contracted¹³⁸ a maid, to ſhew that ſhe ought to keepe her ſelfe a virgin till the mariage be conſummate. Therefore Mary is thus deſcribed,¹³⁹ a virgin eſpouſed. But it is the common courſe of moſt to make light account of this warrantable and honourable proceeding to mariage by a contract. Few there be in compariſon of the multitudes that are maried, who make any conſcience thereof. They thinke it needleſſe, and vtterly neglect it. No maruell that they meet with many miſchiefes and inconueniences, when the meanes of preuenting the ſame are not vſed. Let ſuch duly weight the reaſons rendred in the former ſection.

1. 136. Nonnullis ſponſis tam impotens eſt ardor libidinis, vt corpuſculo puellari vim adferant. Eraſ. in Inſt. Matr.
2. 137. See §. 15.
3. 138. Deut. 22. 24. [moved in the edition]
4. 139. Luk. 1. 27. [moved in the edition]

Anſw. This muſt be left to the wiſe conſideration of the parties contracted, and of their friends, for the ſame time cannot preciſely be preſcribed to all. Occaſions may fall out either of haſtening, or putting off the mariage. Only extremes on both ſides muſt be auoided. Neither ought the mariage be p. 203 too ſuddenly ſolemnized vpon the contract: (then the ends and reaſons of a contract, before mentioned, are made void) nor yet too long put off (then may Satan take occaſion to tempt them for their incontinencie.) The laudable cuſtome of our and other Churches ſheweth, that at leaſt three weekes muſt paſſe betwixt contract and mariage. For the contract is¹⁴⁰ to be three times publiſhed, and that but once a weeke before the wedding be celebrated. And we read that the virgin Mary was at leaſt three moneths contracted before Ioſeph tooke her to wife. For when the Angell firſt came to her ſhe was¹⁴¹ eſpouſed: after that ſhe went to her coſen Elizabeth, with whom ſhe abode three moneths: and then being returned home Ioſeph was warned by an Angell to take her to wife. I¹⁴² note not this as a rule for euery one preciſely to follow. For the virgin Mary had a iuſt occaſion to tarrie three moneths with her old coſen Elizabeth: and ſo may others haue occaſions to put off their mariages: which may be lawfull, ſo the mariage be not put off too long, and that there be a mutuall and ioynt conſent of both parties. For after the contract is made, neither the man nor the woman haue the power of their owne body.

1. 140. Rubr. before the forme of ſolemnizing of matrimony.
2. 141. Luk. 1. 27. 56.
3. 142. Mat. 1. 20. [moved in the edition]

Contrary is that vnwarrantable courſe which many take, to¹⁴³ be affianced and made ſure to a wife, and then to trauell beyond ſea, or to any other place, and be abſent from their ſpouſe a yeere, or two, or three, or it may be more yeeres. If a man might not goe to warre, nor be charged with any buſineſſe that ſhould draw him from his wife the firſt yeere of his mariage, much leſſe may he abſent himſelfe for any long time after he is contracted but not maried. This may be a meanes to alienate the heart of his ſpouſe from him for euer.

1. 143. Vnlawfull for parties contracted long to abſent themſelues each from other. Deut. 24. 5.

III. The laſt degree of conſummating a mariage, is the open and publike ſolemnization thereof: which conſiſteth

1. In a religious conſecration thereof.

2. In a ciuill celebration

A religious conſecration of mariage is performed by the bleſſing of a publike Miniſter of the word in the open face of the Church in the day time. This of old hath beene vſed of p. 204 Chriſtians, and ſtill is continued among vs. Though we haue neither expreſſe precept, nor particular patterne in Gods word for this manner of ſolemnizing a mariage (for there is no particular forme thereof ſet downe in the Scripture) yet it being agreeable to the generall rules thereof, we ought in conſcience to ſubiect our ſelues thereto.

The generall rules are theſe, Let all things be done decently,¹⁴⁴ and in order. The Churches of God haue ſuch a cuſtome. Submit¹⁴⁵ your ſelues to euery ordinance of man for the Lords ſake, with¹⁴⁶ the like. But the foreſaid manner of conſecrating mariage, is very decent and in good order, a laudable cuſtome of the Churches, and an ordinance of thoſe gouernours vnder whom we liue. Therefore warrantable, and to be obſerued. Neither is this order, cuſtome, and ordinance appointed without iuſt and weightie reaſons. For

1. 144. 1 Cor. 14. 40.
2. 145. 1 Cor. 11. 16.
3. 146. 1 Pet. 2. 13. [moved in the edition]

1. Mariage is a kind of publike action: the well or ill ordering therof much tendeth to the good or hurt of family, Church, and common-wealth. For by mariage families are erected, and Church and common-wealth increaſed and continued.

2.¹⁴⁷ Mariage is honourable.¹⁴⁸ The moſt ſacred and inuiolable bond that knitteth any two perſons together.

1. 147. Heb. 13 4. [moved in the edition]
2. 148. Treat. 1. §. 80, 81, 82, &c.

3. Mariage is¹⁴⁹ Gods couenant, wherein he himſelfe hath a maine and principall ſtroke. For God is the chiefeſt agent in ioyning man and woman in mariage.

1. 149. Prou. 2. 17.

On theſe grounds it hath beene thought very requiſite that mariage ſhould be ſolemnized in the day time (as a worke of light that need not be couertly and cloſely done) and that in a publike place, whether any, that will, may haue free acceſſe, either to except againſt it, and hinder it (if there be iuſt cauſe) or to be a witneſſe thereof, and to adde his bleſſing thereto. And among publike places the Church is thought the fitteſt, becauſe it is the houſe of praier, where perſons and actions are moſt ſolemnly bleſſed. And of all perſons a publike Miniſter is thought to be the meeteſt to celebrate mariage, and to ioyne¹⁵⁰ the parties to be maried, together, becauſe he ſtands in Gods roome, and in and by his miniſterie God ioyneth them together, and bleſſeth them: ſo as after the miniſter hath rightly ioyned man and wife together in matrimony, it may be well p. 205 ſaid, Thoſe whom God hath ioyned together, let no man put aſunder. The forme of conſecrating mariage, which is preſcribed in our liturgie or common-prayer-booke, doth ſo diſtinctly, perſpicuouſly, and fully ſet downe whatſoeuer is to be obſerued and done by the parties to be maried, their parents, or other gouernours, and the Miniſter that ioyneth them together, that I can adde nothing thereunto. There are declared the grounds, ends, and vſes of mariage. There open proclamation is made whether any can except againſt the intended mariage. There each partie is ſolemnly charged, that if either of them doe know any impediment, why they may not lawfully be maried, to diſcloſe it. There alſo each partie is openly demanded if freely and willingly they will take one another for man and wife. There the duties of maried perſons are declared, and they ſeuerally asked whether they will ſubiect themſelues thereto or no. All which being openly profeſſed, the parent or ſome in his ſtead is called forth to giue the Bride to the Bridegroome. Then they two actually taking each other to be man and wife, and teſtifying the ſame by expreſſe words, and by mutuall pledges, the Miniſter in Gods name ioyneth them together, pronounceth them to be lawfull husband and wife, and by prayer craueth Gods bleſſing vpon the action, and vpon their perſons. Thus is the mariage conſecrated, and they two made one fleſh, that is, lawfully ioyned together by the inuiolable bond of mariage.

1. 150. Coniugium benedictione ſacer dotali ſanctificari oportet. Ambr. epiſt. 70.

Contrary are clandeſtine mariages, ſuch as are made in priuate houſes, or other ſecret places, or in Churches without a ſufficient number of witneſſes, or in the night time, or without a lawfull Miniſter of the word, with the like. As ſuch ſeeking of ſecrecie taketh much from the honour and dignitie of mariage, ſo it implieth ſome euill cleauing thereto: For euery¹⁵¹ man that euill doth hateth the light. There is little hope that ſuch mariages ſhould haue any good ſucceſſe. For where ſuch meanes as are ſanctified for obtaining a bleſſing on mariage are neglected, what bleſſing can thereupon be expected?

1. 151. Ioh. 3. 20.

Though vpon the forenamed conſecrating of mariage it be in regard of the ſubſtance thereof fully conſummate, yet for the greater ſolemnity of ſo honourable a thing, it is very requiſite that further there be added a ciuill celebration of it: vnder¹⁵² which I compriſe all thoſe lawfull cuſtomes that are vſed for the ſetting forth of the outward ſolemnitie thereof, as meeting of friends, accompanying the Bridegroome and Bride both to and from the Church, putting on beſt apparell, feaſting, with other tokens of reioycing: for which we haue expreſſe warrant out of Gods word.

1. 152. Magnifico conuiuio nuptiae celebrantur: laeta omnia, munera ſponſalia, &c. Greg. Naz. ad Vital. vide plura ibid. de coniugij ſolennitate. Mariage a time of reioycing.

For the generall, that the mariage time is a time of reioycing, ſome gather from the notation of the word, as if it were ſtiled mariage of merry age. But to let that paſſe, The Scripture vſeth to ſet forth a time of reioycing by the¹⁵³ ioy of the Bridegroome ouer his Bride, and ſtileth¹⁵⁴ the voice of a Bridegroome and a Bride, the voice of ioy and gladneſſe. And on the contrary counteth it a iudgement, when¹⁵⁵ ioy is taken away from the Bridegroome and the Bride.

1. 153. Iſa. 62. 5. [moved in the edition]
2. 154. Ier. 33. 11. [moved in the edition]
3. 155. Ier. 7. 34. Ioel 2. 16.

For meeting of friends at the time of mariage, it is noted that¹⁵⁶ Laban gathered together all the men of the place, when his daughter was maried. And when Sampſon was maried,¹⁵⁷ they brought thirtie companions to him. And when a friend of the virgin Marie was maried,¹⁵⁸ Ieſus and his Diſciples, beſides many other, were inuited thereto. And in the parable of the mariage of the Kings ſonne, it is noted that¹⁵⁹ many gueſts were bidden to the wedding. In all which hiſtories it is further noted, that feaſts were made at the ſolemnizing of thoſe mariages. And the phraſes which the Prophet vſeth of¹⁶⁰ a Bridegroomes decking himſelfe with ornaments, and a Brides adorning her ſelfe with Iewels, giue warrant for putting on the beſt apparell at that time.

1. 156. Gen. 29. 22. [moved in the edition]
2. 157. Iudg. 14. 11. [moved in the edition]
3. 158. Ioh. 2. 2.
4. 159. Mat. 22. 3. [moved in the edition]
5. 160. Iſa. 61. 10. Ier. 2. 32. [moved in the edition]

Here by the way let good heed be taken, that the things which may lawfully be vſed, be not vnlawfully abuſed, as commonly mariage-feſtiuities, and that eſpecially in feaſtings, are.

Mariage feaſts are abuſed,¹⁶¹

1. 161. Abuſe of mariage feaſts.

p. 207 1. When they are made at an vnſeaſonable time: as on the¹⁶² Lords day, or in a time of mourning.

1. 162. Jſa. 22. 12, 13. [moved in the edition]

2. When they exceed the abilitie of him that maketh the¹⁶³ feaſts.

1. 163. Luk. 15. 13.

3. When the abundance prepared, is immoderatly taken,¹⁶⁴ euen to gluttony and drunkenneſſe. The lewd practiſe of drinking healths to the Bridegroome and Bride, oft cauſeth much exceſſe in drunkenneſſe.

1. 164. Luk. 21 34.

4. When too much time is ſpent therein.¹⁶⁵

1. 165. Iſa. 5. 11.

5. When God is cleane forgotten therein, and the companie poyſoned¹⁶⁶ with corrupt communication, vnchaſte ſongs, and the like.

1. 166. Iſa. 5. 12.

6. When the needy and diſtreſſed are not remembred¹⁶⁷ therein.

1. 167. Am. 6. 6.

For preuenting of theſe abuſes, a ſeaſonable time for celebrating¹⁶⁸ mariage muſt be choſen out: and moderation vſed both by him that maketh the feaſt, and alſo by them that partake thereof: moderation I ſay in the meaſure of eating and drinking, and in the time ſpent therein: which time muſt be ſanctified with ſuch communication as is good to the vſe of edifying, that it may miniſter grace vnto the hearers. And for the more cheerefulneſſe therein, witty queſtions and doubtfull riddles may be propounded (as Sampſon did) to exerciſe the wit¹⁶⁹ and iudgement of the gueſts: there may be alſo ſinging Pſalmes and hymnes and ſpirituall ſongs, making melodie in their hearts to the Lord. Yea further, that the mariage meeting, mirth, and feaſting may be the better ſanctified, good choice is to be made of the gueſts that are inuited thereto. Hereof we haue a worthy patterne in thoſe who were maried in Cana of Galile,¹⁷⁰ and inuited to their feaſt Ieſus, his mother, and his Diſciples. Such as Ieſus, will miniſter occaſion of ſauourie and ſanctified communication, whereby all the gueſts may be much edified. Such as the virgin Mary will be a good example of modeſty, sobrietie, and other like Chriſtian graces. Such as the Diſciples, will be farre from ſcorning and deriding wholſome and good inſtructions, but rather giue all diligent heed thereunto, and lay them vp in their hearts.

1. 168. Direction for mariage feaſts
2. 169. Iudg. 14. 12. Eph. 5. 19. [moved in the edition]
3. 170. Ioh. 2. 1, 2.

Aboue all, that the mirth and ioy of mariage be not dampt, p. 208 as Belſhazzars was, let them that are maried, and all that come¹⁷¹ to reioyce with them, be ſure that they haue true aſſurance of their ſpirituall mariage with Chriſt, and of a good right in him to the creatures which they vſe. Otherwiſe their ſinnes will be as that hand-writing which appeared to Belſhazzar on the wall.

1. 171. Dan. 5. 5. [moved in the edition]

Finally, in regard of that libertie which God giueth with plentie and abundance to eat of the fat, and drinke of the¹⁷² ſweet, let the poore that ſcarce haue ſufficiencie be remembred.

1. 172. Nehe. 8. 10.

Thus by a right celebrating of mariage, is it much honoured: and man and wife with much honour are brought together.

Great reaſon there is why mariage ſhould with ſuch honour be ſolemnized. For it is a moſt honourable thing. Honourable in the inſtitution, ends, priuiledges, and myſterie thereof. No ordinance was more honourable in the firſt inſtitution thereof, as is euident by the Author thereof, the Place where it was inſtituted, the Time when it was inſtituted, the Perſons who were firſt maried, and the Manner of ioyning them together.

1. The Author and firſt Inſtitutor of mariage was the Lord¹⁷³ God. Could there haue beene a greater, or any way a more excellent Author?

1. 173. Gen. 2. 18, 21, 22

2. The Place was Paradiſe; the moſt faire, glorious, pleaſant, honourable, commodious, and euery way moſt excellent place that euer was in this world, Place, though it be but a circumſtance, addeth much to the honour of a thing. Solemat ordinances are made in honourable places. Thus with vs mariages are ſolemnized in Churches, not in priuate houſes.

3. The Time was the moſt pure and perfect time that euer was in the world, when no ſinne or pollution of man had ſtained it, euen the time of mans innocencie. Puritie addeth much to the honour of a thing.

4. The Perſons were the moſt honourable that euer were euen the firſt father and mother of all mankinde, they who had an abſolute power and dominion ouer all creatures, and p. 209 to whom all were ſubiect. None but they euer had a true monarchy ouer the whole world.

5. The Manner was with as great deliberation as euer was vſed in inſtituting any ordinance. For firſt the three glorious¹⁷⁴ perſons in the Trinity doe meet to aduiſe about it. For The Lord God ſaid, and to whom ſhould he ſpeake? not to any created power, but to him that was begotten of himſelfe, that Wonderfull, Counſeller, &c. In this conſultation this ordinance is found to be very needfull: (It is not good for man to be alone) thereupon a determination is ſet downe, to make an helpe meet for man. For the better effecting hereof the Lord proceedeth thereto very deliberatly, by ſundry ſteps, and degrees.

1. 174. Gen. 2. 18. Cui hoc dicitur? non creatae alicui potentiae, ſed ei qui exſe natus eſt, Conſiliario admirabili, &c. Chryſ. in Gen. hom. 14.

1. All the creatures that liued on the earth, or breathed in the aire, are brought before man, to ſee if an helpe meet for him might be found among them.

2. Euery of them being thorowly viewed, and found vnfit, another creature is made and that out of mans ſubſtance and ſide, and after his image.

3. This excellent creature thus made is by the maker therof preſented to man, to ſee how he would like it.

4. Man manifeſting a good liking to her, ſhe is giuen to him to be his wife.

5. The inuiolable law of the neere and firme vnion of man and wife together is enacted.

Let all the forenamed branches concerning the firſt inſtitution of mariage expreſly recorded by the holy Ghoſt be well weighed, and we ſhall eaſily ſee that there is no ordinance now in force among the ſonnes of men ſo honourable in the inſtitution thereof, as this.

2. The Ends for which mariage was ordained adde much to the honour thereof. They are eſpecially three.¹⁷⁵

1. 175. Prima ſocietas in ipſo coniugio eſt &c. Id autē eſt principium vrbis, & quaſi ſeminarium reip. Cic. Offic. lib. 1.

1. That the world might be increaſed: and not ſimply increaſed, but with a legitimate brood, and diſtinct families, which are the ſeminaries of cities and common-wealths. Yea alſo that in the world the Church by an holy ſeed might be preſerued, and propagated, Mal. 2. 15.

2. That men might auoid fornication (1 Cor. 7. 2.) and p. 210 poſſeſſe their veſſels in holineſſe and honour. In regard of that¹⁷⁶ proneneſſe which is in mans corrupt nature to luſt, this end addeth much to the honour of mariage. It ſheweth that mariage is as an hauen to ſuch as are in ieopardy of their ſaluation through the guſts of temptations to luſt. No ſinne is more hereditary; none whereof more children of Adam doe partake, then this. Well might Chriſt ſay (Mat. 19. 11) all men receiue not this ſaying.

1. 176. Qui tentationum procell as cum difficultate ſalutis tolerant, coniugij portum petant. Greg. in Poſt. part. 3. admon. 28.

Of all the children of Adam that euer were, not one to a million of thoſe that haue come to ripeneſſe of yeares haue beene true Eunuches all their life time. Againſt this hereditary diſeaſe no remedie is ſo ſoueraigne as this. Yea for thoſe that haue not the gift of continency this is the only warranted, and ſanctified remedy.

3. That man and wife might be a mutuall helpe one to¹⁷⁷ another, (Gen. 2. 18.) An helpe as for bringing forth, ſo for bringing vp children; and as for erecting, ſo for well gouerning their family. An helpe alſo for well ordering proſperity, and well bearing aduerſity. An helpe in health and ſickneſſe.¹⁷⁸ An helpe while both liue together, and when one is by death taken from the other. In this reſpect it is ſaid (Pro. 18. 22.) who ſo findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, which by the rule of relation is true alſo, of an husband.¹⁷⁹

1. 177. Ad adiumentum mulier data eſt viro. Ambr. Offic. l. 1. c. 28.
2. 178. Ut non ſolum honeſtè, ſed & commodè viuat. Chryſ. in Gen. 2. hom. 14.
3. 179. Licet adiuvent hominem laboribus ſuis multa irrationabilla, nullum tamen par eſt rationali mulieri. Chryſ. ibid.

No ſuch helpe can man haue from any other creature as from a wife; or a woman as from an husband.

III. If (¹⁸⁰ as once of circumciſion) it be demanded what is the priuilege, aduantage, and profit of mariage, I anſwer, Much euery way.

1. 180. Rom. 3. 1. [moved in the edition]

1. By it men and women are made Husbands and Wiues.

2. It is the only lawfull meanes to make them Fathers and Mothers.

3. It is the ordinarie meanes to make them Maſters and Miſtreſſes. All theſe are great dignities, wherein the image and glorie of God conſiſteth.

4. It is the moſt effectuall meanes of continuing a mans¹⁸¹ name and memory in this world, that can be. Children are liuing monuments, and liuely repreſentations of their parents.

1. 181. Unuſquiſꝗ in liberis ſuis quodammodo renaſcitur &c. Plato dè Leg. lib. 4.

p. 211 5. Many priuileges haue of old beene granted to ſuch as were maried.¹⁸² In pleading cauſes, or giuing ſentence, they had the firſt place; and in choice of offices they were preferred.¹⁸³ In meetings they had the vpper hand.¹⁸⁴ And if they had many children they were exempted from watchings, and other like burthenſome functions. Among vs, if the younger ſiſter be maried before the elder, the preheminency and precedency is giuen to the younger.

1. 182. Appian. lib. 2. debel. ciu.
2. 183. Sucton. in Aug.
3. 184. Ariſt. Polit. li. 2. cap. 7. & Codic lib. 10. tit. 63.

The priuileges and honours which are giuen to maried perſons, were queſtionleſſe the ground of that cuſtome which Laban mentioneth of his country; that the younger was not to¹⁸⁵ be maried before the elder.

1. 185. Gen. 29. 26. [moved in the edition]

IIII. Great is that myſterie which is ſet forth by mariage, namely the ſacred, ſpirituall, reall, and inuiolable vnion betwixt Chriſt and his Church: which is excellently deciphered in Salomons Song, and in Pſal. 45. and expreſly noted, Eph. 5. 32.

Hereby man and wife who intirely, as they ought, loue one another, haue an euident demonſtration of Chriſts loue to them. For as parents by that affection which they beare to their children, may better diſcerne the minde, and meaning of God towards them, then ſuch as neuer had childe, ſo may maried perſons better know the diſpoſition of Ieſus Chriſt, who is the ſpouſe of euery faithfull ſoule, then ſingle perſons.

Let now the admirers and praiſers of a ſingle eſtate bring forth all their reaſons, and put them in the other ſcole againſt mariage. If theſe two be duly poiſed, and rightly weyed, we ſhall finde ſingle life too light to be compared with honeſt mariage. All that can be ſaid for the ſingle eſtate, is grounded vpon accidentall occaſions. Saint Paul, who of all the pen-men of holy Scripture hath ſpoken moſt for it, draweth all his commendations to the head of Expediency, and reſtraineth all vnto¹⁸⁶ preſent neceſſity.

1. 186. 1 Cor. 7. 26. διὰ τὴν ἐνεστῶσαν ἀνάγκην.

Obiect. He vſeth theſe words (¹⁸⁷ good, and¹⁸⁸ better.)

1. 187. Verſ. 1. [moved in the edition]
2. 188. Verſ. 38. [moved in the edition]

Anſw. Thoſe words haue relation not to vertue, but to expediencie: neither are they ſpoken in oppoſition to vice and p. 212 ſinne, for then would it follow, that to marie (which is Gods ordinance, and honourable in all) were euill and ſinfull: which is to reuiue¹⁸⁹ that ancient hereſie, that mariage is of the deuill.¹⁹⁰ Of old they who haue called lawfull mariage a defilement, haue beene ſaid to haue the Apoſtate dragon dwelling in them. But the Apoſtle ſtileth that good, which is commodious, and that better which is more expedient: and yet not ſimply more expedient, but to ſome perſons at ſome times. For if any haue not the gift of continency, it is not only commodious or more expedient that they marie, but alſo abſolutely neceſſarie. They are commanded ſo to doe (1 Cor. 7. 9.) Yet on the other ſide, if any haue the gift of continency, they are not ſimply bound from mariage; there be other occaſions, beſide auoiding fornication, to moue them to marie. It is therefore truly ſaid that Virginity is not commanded, but aduiſed vnto.¹⁹¹ We haue no precept for it, but leaue it to the power of them that haue that power. So farre forth as men and women ſee iuſt occaſion of abſtaining from mariage (being at leaſt able ſo to doe) they are by the Apoſtle perſwaded to vſe their liberty and keepe themſelues free. But all the occaſions which¹⁹² moue them to remaine ſingle ariſe from the weakneſſe and wickedneſſe of men. Their wickedneſſe who raiſe troubles againſt others, their weakneſſe who ſuffer themſelues to be diſquieted and too much diſtracted with affaires of the family, care for wife, children, and the like. Were it not for the wickedneſſe of ſome, and weakneſſe of others, to pleaſe an huſband¹⁹³ or a wife, would be no hiderance to pleaſing of the Lord. If therefore man had ſtood in his intire and innocent eſtate, no ſuch wickedneſſe or weakneſſe had ſeized vpon him: and then in no reſpect could the ſingle eſtate haue beene preferred¹⁹⁴ before the maried. But ſince the fall, Virginity (where it is giuen) may be of good vſe: and therefore the Church doth giue due honour both to virginity and mariage.

1. 189. Saturniliani de quibus Epiph. haer. 23.
2. 190. Si quis coinquinationem vocet legitimā commixtionem, habet inhabitatorem draconem Apoſtatam. Ignat. Epiſt. ad Philad.
3. 191. Uirginitas non eſt iuſſa ſed admonita. Bernard. de modo benè viu. ſerm. 21.
4. 192. De virginitate praeceptum non habemus: volentium poteſtati id relinquimus. Conſtit. Apoſt. li. 4. cap. 14.
5. 193. 1 Cor. 7. 32, 33, 34. [moved in the edition]
6. 194. S. Eccleſia & virginitatem glorificat, & nuptias pudicas honorat. Epiph. haer. 48.

Contrary to the forenamed ioyfull celebrating of mariage are all thoſe indirect courſes which bring much griefe, trouble and vexation thereunto: as forced, ſtolne, vnequall, or any other way vnlawfull mariages: mariages without parents, or p. 213 other gouernours and friends conſent: or hudled vp to auoid the danger of law for former vncleanneſſe committed, with the like. Many by their prepoſterous and vndue performing of ſo weightie a matter, doe not only cauſe great trouble and diſquietneſſe on the mariage day, but alſo much ſorrow all the daies of their life. If ſuch finde no ioy, comfort or helpe in mariage, but rather the contrary, let them not blame Gods ordinance, but their owne folly and peruerſneſſe.