A Wife’s Respect for Her Husband

EPHES. 5. 22. Wiues ſubmit your ſelues vnto your owne husbands as vnto the Lord. Verſ. 23. For the husband is the head of the wife, euen as Chriſt is the head of the Church: and he is the Sauiour of the bodie. Verſ. 24. Therefore as the Church is ſubject to Chriſt, ſo let wiues be ſubiect to their husbands in euerie thing.

IN the particular declaration of wiues duties, the Apoſtle noteth two points,

• 1. The dutie required.
• 2. The reaſon to enforce it.

In ſetting forth the dutie, he declareth

• 1. The matter wherin it conſiſteth.
• 2. The manner how it is to be performed.

In the matter we may note,

• 1. The thing required,⁵¹⁷ ſubiection.
• 2. The perſon whom it reſpecteth, their⁵¹⁸ owne husbands.

1. 517. ὑποτάσσεσθε.
2. 518. ἰδίοις.

The manner reſpecteth, 1. The qualitie of that ſubiection.

2. The extent

p. 268 To declare the qualitie of wiues ſubiection to their huſbands, two rules are ſet downe.

1. That it be ſuch a ſubiection, as⁵¹⁹ ſhould be performed to Chriſt.

1. 519. As vnto the Lord.

2. That it be ſuch a ſubiection as the⁵²⁰ Church performeth vnto Chriſt.

1. 520. As the Church is ſubiect to Chriſt.

The extent of wiues ſubiection doth ſtretch it ſelfe verie farre, euen to⁵²¹ all things.

1. 521. ἐν παντί, In euerie thing. [moved in the edition]

The reaſon to enforce all theſe points is taken from that place of eminencie and authoritie, wherein the husband is ſet aboue his wife: which is,

1. Propounded vnder the metaphor of an head (for the huſband is the head of the wife.)

2. Amplified by that reſemblance which therein he hath vnto Chriſt.

In which reſemblance two points are noted.

1. That the husband, by vertue of his place, carrieth the verie image of Chriſt (euen as Chriſt is the head of the Church.)

2. That the husband by vertue of his office is a protector of his wife (and he is the ſauiour of the body.)

The firſt point to be handled in the treatiſe of wiues particular duties is the generall matter of all (Subiection) vnder which all other particulars are compriſed, for it hath as large⁵²³ an extent as that Honour which is required in the firſt commandement, being applied to wiues. When firſt the Lord declared vnto woman her dutie, he ſet it downe vnder this phraſe, Thy deſire ſhall be ſubiect to thine husband, Gen. 3. 16.

1. 522. Treat. 4. §. 2. [moved in the edition]
2. 523. Maritum habere Dominum meruit mulieris culpa, quod tamen niſi ſeruetur, deprauabitur ampliùs natura, & augebitur culpa. Aug. de Gen. ad lit. lib. 11. c. 37. Ante peccatum non aliter factam fuiſſe decet credere mulierem niſi vt vir ei dominaretur. Ibid.

Anſw. And a law too, for triall of her obedience, which if it be not obſerued, her nature will be more depraued, and her fault more increaſed. Beſides, we cannot but thinke that the woman was made before the fall, that the man might rule ouer her. Vpon this ground the Prophets and Apoſtles haue oft vrged the ſame. Sarah is commended for this, that ſhe was ſubiect to her husband (1. Pet. 3. 6.) Hereby the holy Ghoſt would teach wiues, that Subiection ought to be as ſalt to ſeaſon p. 269 euery dutie which they performe to their husband. Their very opinion, affection, ſpeech, action, and all that concerneth the husband, muſt ſauour of ſubiection. Contrary is the diſpoſition of many wiues, whom ambition hath tainted and corrupted within and without: they cannot endure to heare of ſubiection: they imagine that they are made ſlaues thereby. But I hope partly by that which hath beene before deliuered concerning thoſe common duties which man and wife doe mutually owe each to other, and partly by the particulars which vnder this generall are compriſed, but moſt eſpecially⁵²⁴ by the duties which the husband in particular oweth to his wife, it will euidently appeare, that this ſubiection is no ſeruitude. But were it more then it is, ſeeing God requireth ſubiection of a wife to her husband, the wife is bound to yeeld it. And good reaſon it is that ſhe who firſt drew man into ſin, ſhould be now ſubiect to him, leſt by the like womaniſh weakneſſe ſhe fall againe.

1. 524. Quem vocavit ad culpam mulier, iuſtum eſt vt eum gubernatorem aſſumat, ne iterum foeminea facilitate labatur. Ambr. Hexaem. l. 5. c. 7.

The ſubiection which is required of a wife to her husband implieth two things.

• 1. That ſhe acknowledge her husband to be her ſuperiour.
• 2. That ſhe reſpect him as her ſuperiour.

1. 525. Treat. 4. §. 6, 7. [moved in the edition]

That acknowledgement of the husbands ſuperioritie is twofold, 1. Generall of any husband.

2. Particular of her owne husband.

The generall is the ground of the particular: for till a wife be informed that an husband, by vertue of his place, is his wiues ſuperiour, ſhe will not be perſwaded that her owne huſband is aboue her, or hath any authoritie ouer her.

Firſt therefore concerning the generall, I will lay downe⁵²⁶ ſome euident and vndeniable proofes, to ſhew that an husband is his wiues ſuperiour, and hath authoritie ouer her. The proofes are theſe following.

1. 526. Proofes that the husband is aboue the wife

1. God of whom,⁵²⁷ the powers that be ordained, are, hath power to place his Image in whom he will, and to whom God giueth ſuperioritie and authority, the ſame ought to be acknowledged p. 270 to be due vnto them. But God ſaid of the man to the woman, he ſhall rule ouer thee, (Gen. 3. 16.)

1. 527. Rom. 13. 1. [moved in the edition]

2. Nature hath placed an eminencie in the male ouer the⁵²⁸ female: ſo as where they are linked together in one yoake, it is giuen by nature that he should gouerne, ſhe obey. This did the heathen by light of nature obſerue.

1. 528. Mari & foeminae ae natura tribuium eſt, vt hi, praeſit, illa obediat, cum mas praeſtantior ſit. Ariſt. Pol. lib. 1.

3. The titles and names, whereby an husband is ſet forth, doe implie a ſuperiority and authority in him, as⁵²⁹ Lord, (1 Pet. 3. 6.)⁵³⁰ Maſter, (Eſt. 1. 17.)⁵³¹ Guide, (Prou. 2. 17.)⁵³² Head, (1 Cor. 11. 3.)⁵³³ Image and glory of God, (1 Cor. 11. 7.)

1. 529. Κύριος. [moved in the edition]
2. 530. בעל
3. 531. אלוף
4. 532. κεφαλή.
5. 533. εἰκὼν καὶ δόξα Θεοῦ.

4. The perſons whom the husband by vertue of his place, and whom the wife by vertue of her place, repreſent, moſt euidently proue as much: for an husband repreſenteth Christ, and a wife, the Church, (Eph. 5. 23.)

5. The circumſtances noted by the holy Ghoſt at the womans creation implie no leſſe, as that ſhe was created after man, for mans good, and out of mans ſide, (Gen. 2. 18, &c.)

6. The very⁵³⁴ attire which nature and cuſtome of all times and places haue taught women to put on, confirmeth the ſame: as long haire, vailes, and other couerings ouer the head: this and the former argument doth the Apoſtle himſelfe vſe to this very purpoſe, 1 Cor. 11. 7, &c.

1. 534. Sicapilli pro velamine dati ſunt, qua gratia aliud addendū eſt velamen? Vt non tantum natura, ſed etiam voluntate ſubiectam ſe eſſe confiteatur. Chryſ. in 1 Cor. hom. 26.

The point then being ſo cleere, wiues ought in conſcience to acknowledge as much: namely that an husband hath ſuperiority⁵³⁵ and authoritie ouer a wife. The acknowledgement hereof is a maine and principall dutie, and a ground of all other duties. Till a wife be fully inſtructed therein and truly perſwaded thereof, no dutie can be performed by her as it ought: for ſubiection hath relation to ſuperioritie and authoritie. The very notation of the word implieth as much. How then can ſubiection be yeelded, if husbands be not acknowledged ſuperiors? It may be forced, as one King conquered in battell by another, may be compelled to yeeld homage to the conqueror, but yet becauſe he ſtill thinketh with himſelfe, that he is no whit inferiour, he will hardly be brought willingly to yeeld a ſubiects dutie to him, but rather expect a time when he may free himſelfe and take reuenge of the conqueror.

1. 535. 1. Wiues muſt acknowledge a ſuperioritie in husbands.

Contrary to the forenamed ſubiection is the opinion of many wiues, who thinke themſelues euery way as good as their husbands, and no way inferiour to them.

The reaſon whereof ſeemeth to be that ſmall inequalitie⁵³⁶ which is betwixt the husband and the wife: for of all degrees wherein there is any difference betwixt perſon and perſon, there is the leaſt diſparitie betwixt man and wife. Though the man be as the head, yet is the woman as the heart, which is the moſt excellent part of the body next the head, farre more excellent then any other member vnder the head, and almoſt equall to the head in many reſpects, and as neceſſary as the head. As an euidence, that a wife is to man as the heart to the head, ſhe was at her⁵³⁷ firſt creation taken out of the ſide of man where his heart lieth; and though the woman was at firſt⁵³⁸ of the man created out of his ſide, yet is the man alſo by the woman. Euer ſince the firſt creation man hath beene borne and brought forth out of the womans wombe: ſo as neither the man is without the woman, nor the woman without the man: yea, as⁵³⁹ the wife hath not power of her owne body, but the husband, ſo the husband hath not power of his owne body, but the wife. They are alſo⁵⁴⁰ heires together of the grace of life. Beſides, wiues are mothers of the ſame children, whereof their husbands are fathers (for God ſaid to both,⁵⁴¹ multiplie and increaſe) and miſtreſſes of the ſame ſeruants whereof they are maſters (for Sarah is called⁵⁴² miſtreſſe) and in many other reſpects there is a common equitie betwixt husbands and wiues; whence many wiues gather that in all things there ought to be a mutuall equalitie.

1. 536. Of all that are inferiours, the wife commeth neereſt to a paritic.
2. 537. Gen. 2. 21.
3. 538. 1 Cor. 11. 12. [moved in the edition]
4. 539. 1 Cor. 7. 4. Cùm de pudicitia ſermonem habet, magna paritas. Chryſ. hom. 19. in 1 Cor. 7. [moved in the edition]
5. 540. 1 Pet. 3. 7. συγκληρονόμοι.
6. 541. Gen. 1. 28. [moved in the edition]
7. 542. & 16. 4. Obiect. Anſw. [moved in the edition]

But from ſome particulars to inferre a generall is a very weake argument.

1. Doth it follow, that becauſe in many things there is a common equitie betwixt Iudges of Aſſiſe, Iuſtices of peace, and Conſtables of townes, that therefore there is in all things an equalitie betwixt them?

2. In many things there is not a common equitie: for the husband may command his wife, but not ſhe him.

3. Euen in thoſe things wherein there is a common equity, p. 272 there is not an equality: for the husband hath euer euen in all things a ſuperioritie: as if there be any difference euen in the forenamed inſtances, the husband muſt haue the ſtroake: as in giuing the name of Rachels youngeſt childe, where the wife would haue one name, the husband another, that name which the husband gaue, ſtood, (Gen. 35. 18.)

Though there ſeeme to be neuer ſo little diſparitie, yet God hauing ſo expreſly appointed ſubiection, it ought to be acknowledged: and⁵⁴³ though husband and wife may mutually ſerue one another through loue: yet the Apoſtle ſuffereth not a woman to rule ouer the man.

1. 543. Poſſunt coniuges per charitatem ſeruire inuicem, ſed mulierem non permittit Apoſtolus dominari in virum. Aug. de Gen. ad lit. l. 11. c. 37.

The truth and life of that generall acknowledgement of husbands honour, conſiſteth in the particular application therof vnto their owne proper husbands.

1. 544. Treat. 4 §. 9. [moved in the edition]

The next dutie therefore is, that wiues acknowledge their⁵⁴⁵ owne husbands, euen thoſe to whom by Gods prouidence they are ioyned in mariage, to be worthy of an husbands honour, and to be their ſuperiour: thus much the Apoſtle intendeth by that particle of reſtraint (⁵⁴⁶ owne) which he vſeth very often: ſo likewiſe doth⁵⁴⁷ S. Peter, exhorting wiues to be in ſubiection⁵⁴⁸ to their owne husbands: and hereunto reſtraining the commendation of the ancient good wiues, that they were in ſubiection to their owne husbands.

1. 545. All wiues muſt acknowledge their owne husbands worthy of honour.
2. 546. ἰδίοις. Eph. 5. 22, 24. [moved in the edition]
3. 547. 1 Pet. 3. 1, 5. [moved in the edition]
4. 548. 1 Cor. 7. 2.

Obiect. What if a man of meane place be maried to a woman of eminent place, or a ſeruant be maried to his miſtreſſe, or an aged woman to a youth, muſt ſuch a wife acknowledge ſuch an husband her ſuperiour?

Anſw. Yea verily: for in giuing her ſelfe to be his wife, and⁵⁴⁹ taking him to be her husband, ſhe aduanceth him aboue herſelfe, and ſubiecteth her ſelfe vnto him. It booteth nothing what either of them were before mariage: by vertue of the matrimoniall bond the husband is made the head of his wife, though the husband were before mariage a very begger, and of meane parentage, and the wife very wealthy and of a noble ſtocke; or though he were her prentiſe, or bondſlaue; which alſo holdeth in the caſe betwixt an aged woman and a youth: p. 273 for the Scripture hath made no exception in any of thoſe caſes.

1. 549. Wiues inferiour to thoſe ouer whom they were before mariage.

2. Obiect. But what if a man of lewd and beaſtly conditions, as a drunkard, a glutton, a profane ſwaggerer, an impious ſwearer, and blaſphemer, be maried to a wife, ſober, religious Matron, muſt ſhe account him her ſuperiour, and worthy of an husbands honour?

Anſw. Surely ſhe muſt. For the euill qualitie and diſpoſition⁵⁵⁰ of his heart and life, doth not depriue a man of that ciuill honour which God hath giuen vnto him. Though an husband in regard of euill qualities may carrie the Image of the deuill, yet in regard of his place and office he beareth the image of God: ſo doe Magiſtrates in the common-wealth, Miniſters in the Church, parents and maſters in the familie. Note for our preſent purpoſe, the exhortation of S. Peter to Chriſtian wiues which had infidell husbands,⁵⁵¹ Be in ſubiection to them: let your conuerſation be in feare. If Infidels carrie not the deuils Image, and are not, ſo long as they are Infidels, vaſſals of Satan, who are? yet wiues muſt be ſubiect to them, and feare them.

1. 550. Subiection due to huſbands of euill qualities.
2. 551. 1 Pet 3. 1, 2. [moved in the edition]

Contrary thereunto is a very peruerſe diſpoſition in ſome⁵⁵² wiues, who thinke they could better ſubiect themſelues to any husband, then their owne. Though in generall they acknowledge that an husband is his wiues ſuperiour, yet when the application commeth to themſelues they faile, and cannot be brought to yeeld, that they are their husbands inferiours. This is a vice worſe then the former. For to acknowledge no husband to be ſuperiour ouer his wife, but to thinke man and wife in all things equall, may proceed from ignorance of hinde, and error of iudgement. But for a wife who knoweth and acknowledgeth the generall, that an husband is aboue his wife, to imagine that ſhe her ſelfe is not inferiour to her huſband, ariſeth from monſtrous ſelfe-conceit, and intolerable arrogancy, as if ſhe her ſelfe were aboue her owne ſex, and more then a woman.

1. 552. A peruerſe opinion to thinke other husbands worthy of honour, and not their owne.

Contrary alſo is the practiſe of ſuch⁵⁵³ women, as purpoſely mary men of farre lower ranke then themſelues, for this very p. 274 end, that they may rule ouer their owne husbands: and of others who being⁵⁵⁴ aged, for that end mary youths, if not very boyes. A minde and practiſe very vnſeemely, and cleaneth warting Gods ordinance. But let them thinke of ruling⁵⁵⁵ what they liſt, the truth is, that they make themſelues ſubiects both by Gods law and mans: of which ſubiection ſuch wiues doe oft feele the heauieſt burden. Salomon noteth this to be one of the things for which the earth is diſquieted, when⁵⁵⁶ a ſeruant reigneth. Now when can a ſeruant more dominere, then when he hath maried his miſtreſſe? As for aged women who are maried to youths, I may ſay (as in another caſe it was ſaid) woe to thee ô wife whoſe husband is a childe. Vnmeet it is⁵⁵⁷ that an aged man ſhould be maried to a young maid, but much more vnmeet for an aged woman to be maried to a youth.

1. 553. See Treat. 2. part. 1. §. 9.
2. 554. See Ibid.
3. 555. Indecens eſt vt mulier magiſtra viri fiat. Orig. in Iſa. hom. 7.
4. 556. Prou. 30. 21, 22.
5. 557. Eccle. 10. 16. [moved in the edition]

Hitherto of a wiues acknowledgement of her husbands ſuperioritie. It followeth to ſpeake of that anſwerable reſpect which ſhe ought to beare towards him.

1. 558. Treat. 4. §. 11 [moved in the edition]

A wiue-like reſpect of her huſband conſiſteth in two points: 1. Reuerence.

2. Obedience.

The reuerence which ſhe oweth to him is⁵⁵⁹ 1. Inward.

2. Outward.

1. 559. Wiue-like feare.

Inward reuerence is an awfull reſpect which a wife in her heart hath of her husband, eſteeming him worthy of all honour for his place, and office ſake, becauſe he is her husband. Doubtleſſe Sarah had in her heart a reuerend reſpect and honourable eſteeme of her husband, when⁵⁶⁰ being alone, and thinking of him in her very thought ſhe gaue him this title Lord. This inward reuerence the Scripture compriſeth vnder this word Feare: as where our Apoſtle ſaith,⁵⁶¹ Let the wife ſee that ſhe feare her husband: and where⁵⁶² S. Peter exhorteth wiues to haue their conuerſation in Feare. It is no ſlauiſh feare of her husband which ought to poſſeſſe the heart of a wife, dreading blowes, frownes, ſpightfull words, or the like; but ſuch an awfull reſpect of him as maketh her (to vſe the Apoſtles word)⁵⁶³ care how ſhe may pleaſe him. This wiue-like Feare is manifeſted p. 275 by two effects: one is Ioy, when ſhe giueth contentment to her husband, and obſerueth him to be pleaſed with that which ſhe doth: the other is griefe, when he is iuſtly offended and grieued, eſpecially with any thing that ſhe her ſelfe hath done.

1. 560. Gen. 18. 12.
2. 561. Eph. 5. 33. φοβῆται.
3. 562. 1 Pet. 3. 2. ἐν φόβῳ.
4. 563. 1 Cor. 7. 34. [moved in the edition]

Vnleſſe this inward reuerence and due reſpect of an huſband⁵⁶⁴ be firſt placed in the heart of a wife, either no outward reuerence and obedience will be performed at all, or if it be performed, it will be very vnſound, only in ſhew, hypocriticall and deceitfull: ſo that as good neuer a whit as neuer the better. For according to ones inward affection and diſpoſition will the outward action and conuerſation be framed.⁵⁶⁵ Michal firſt deſpiſed Dauid in her heart, and thence it followed that ſhe⁵⁶⁶ vtteredmoſt vnreuerend and vile ſpeeches of him, euen to his face. Wherefore after the iudgement of a wife is rightly informed of an husbands ſuperioritie, and her will perſwaded to account her owne husband her head and guide, it is very needfull that her heart and affection be accordingly ſeaſoned with the ſalt of good reſpect, and high eſteeme, which breedeth feare: and that thus her heart may be ſeaſoned, ſhe ought oft and ſeriouſly to meditate of his place and office, and of that honour which the Lord by vertue thereof hath planted in him. And if he haue gifts worthie his place, as knowledge, wiſdome, pietie, temperance, loue, and the like, ſhe ought to take notice thereof, and to thinke him worthie of double honour.

1. 564. True feare a ground of other duties.
2. 565. 2 Sam. 6. 16. [moved in the edition]
3. 566. Uerſ. 20. How feare may be wrought in a wiues heart.

Contrary to this inward reuerence of the heart is a baſe and wile eſteeme which many haue of their husbands, thinking no better of them then of other men; nay worſe then of others; deſpiſing their husbands in their heart, like Michal, of whom we heard before. This, as it is in it ſelfe a vile vice, ſo is it a cauſe of many other vices, as of preſumption, rebellion,⁵⁶⁷ yea and of adultery it ſelfe many times: and it is alſo a maine hinderance of all dutie.

1. 567. A baſe eſteem which wiues haue of their husbands, ariſeth

It commonly riſeth either from ſelfe-conceit (whereby wiues ouerweene their owne gifts, thinking them ſo excellent⁵⁶⁸ is they need no guide or head, but are rather fit to guide and p. 276 rule both their husband and all the houſhold: of which proud and preſumptuous ſpirit Iezabel ſeemeth to be, who with an audacious and impudent face ſaid to Ahab her husband,⁵⁶⁹ Doſt thou now gouerne the kingdome of Iſrael? Up, I will giue thee the vineyard of Naboth. So alſo all thoſe wiues which are noted to draw away their husbands hearts from the Lord, as the wiues of⁵⁷⁰ Salomon,⁵⁷¹ Iehoram, and others: which they learned of their great grandmother⁵⁷² Euah:) or elſe from ſome infirmities of minde or body, or of life, which they behold in their⁵⁷³ husbands (whence it commeth to paſſe, that many husbands who are highly honoured and greatly accounted of by others, are much deſpiſed by their wiues, becauſe their wiues alwaies conuerſing with them are priuie to ſuch infirmities as are concealed from others:) or, which is worſt of all, from vniuſt ſurmizes⁵⁷⁴ and ſuſpicions, ſuſpecting many euill things of their husbands whereof they are no way guiltie, and miſinterpreting, and peruerting things well done, as⁵⁷⁵ Michal peruerted Dauids holy zeale.

1. 568. 1. From ſelfeconceit.
2. 569. 1 King. 21. 7. [moved in the edition]
3. 570. 1 King. 11. 4. [moved in the edition]
4. 571. 2 King. 8. 18. [moved in the edition]
5. 572. Gen. 3. 6. [moved in the edition]
6. 573. 2. From their husbands infirmities.
7. 574. 3. From vniuſt ſuſpicions.
8. 575. 2 Sam. 6. 20. [moved in the edition]

For redreſſe of this enormous vice, wiues ought firſt in regard⁵⁷⁶ of themſelues to purge out of their hearts pride, and ſelfe-conceit, thinking humbly and lowly of themſelues, and that euen in regard of their ſex and the weakneſſe thereof: and if the Lord haue endued them with any gift aboue the ordinary ſort of women, to note well their owne infirmities, and to lay them by their eminent gifts: thus by looking on their blacke feet, their proud-peacock-feathers may be caſt downe. Yea alſo when they behold any infirmities in their husbands, they ought to reflect their eies on their owne infirmities, which it may be are euen as many and as grieuous, if not more in number, and more hainous in their nature and kinde: at leaſt let them conſider that they are ſubiect to the ſame, if God leaue them to the ſway of their owne corruption.

1. 576. How wiues may redreſſe a light eſteeme of their huſbands.

Secondly, wiues ought in regard of their husbands to ſurmize no euill whereof they haue not ſure proofe and euidence: but rather interpret euery thing in better part: and follow the rule of loue,⁵⁷⁷ which beareth all things, beleeueth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. If they note any defects of nature, and deformity of body, or any enormous and notorious vices p. 277 in their husband, then ought they to turne their eies and thoughts from his perſon to his place, and from his vicious qualities to his honourable office (which is to be an husband) and this will abate that vile eſteeme which otherwiſe might be occaſioned from the forenamed meanes.

1. 577. 1 Cor. 13. 7. [moved in the edition]

A wiues outward reuerence towards her husband is a manifeſtation of her inward due reſpect of him. Now then ſeeing⁵⁷⁹ the intent of the heart, and inward diſpoſition cannot be diſcerned by man ſimply in it ſelfe, that the husband may know his wiues good affection towards him, it is behouefull that ſhe manifeſt the ſame by her outward reuerence.

1. 578. Treat. 4. §. 4. [moved in the edition]
2. 579. A wiues outward reuerence.

A wiues outward reuerence conſiſteth in her reuerend Geſture.

Speech.

For the firſt, that a reuerend geſture & carriage of her ſelfe to⁵⁸⁰ her husband, and in her husbands preſence, beſeemeth a wife, was of old implied by the vaile which the woman vſed to put on, when ſhe was brought vnto her husband, as is noted in the⁵⁸¹ example of Rebekah: whereunto the Apoſtle alludeth in theſe words,⁵⁸² the woman ought to haue power on her head. That couer on the womans head, as in generall it implied ſubiection, ſo in particular this kinde of ſubiection, viz. a reuerend carriage and geſture. But moſt expreſly is this dutie ſet downe by⁵⁸³ Saint Peter who exhorteth wiues to order their conuerſation before their husbands, ſo as it be pure, with reuerence.

1. 580. A wiues reuerence in her geſture.
2. 581. Gen. 24. 65.
3. 582. 1 Cor. 11. 10. [moved in the edition]
4. 583. 1 Pet. 3. 1. ἀναστροφὴν ἁγνὴν ἐν φόβῳ.

This reuerend conuerſation conſiſteth in a wiue-like ſobrietie, mildneſſe, courteſie, and modeſtie.

By ſobriety I meane ſuch a comely, graue, and gratious carriage, as giueth euidence to the husband that his wife reſpecteth his place & the authority which God hath giuen him. Sobriety in generall is required of all women by reaſon of their ſexe; and ſurely it doth well become them all: but much more doth it become wiues: moſt of all, in their husbands preſence.⁵⁸⁴ The Apoſtle in particular enioyneth it to Deacons wiues, yet not ſo as proper vnto them, but in a further reſpect appertaining to them not only as wiues, but as the wiues of Deacons.

1. 584. 1 Tim. 3. 11.

Contrary to this ſobriety is lightneſſe and wantonneſſe: p. 278 which vices in a wife, eſpecially before her husband, argueth little reſpect, if not a plaine contempt of him.

Obiect. Thus ſhall all delightfull familiarity betwixt huſband and wife be taken away.

Anſw. Though the forenamed ſobriety be oppoſed to lightneſſe⁵⁸⁵ and wantonneſſe, yet not to matrimoniall familiarity: which is ſo farre permitted to man and wife, as if any other man and woman ſhould ſo behaue themſelues one towards another as an husband and wife lawfully may, it might iuſtly be counted lightneſſe and ſinne: inſtance the example of Iſaak and Rebekah, who ſo ſported together, as Abimelech,⁵⁸⁶ knowing them to be ſuch as feared God, gathered by that ſporting that they were man and wife: for he thought that otherwiſe they would not haue beene ſo familiar together.

1. 585. Difference betwixt wantonneſſe and familiarity.
2. 586. Gen. 26. 8, 9. [moved in the edition]

⁵⁸⁷ This familiarity argueth both liking and loue: and ſheweth that the man and wife delight in one anothers perſon. But the lightneſſe here condemned in a wife, is not ſo much a mutuall familiarity with her husband by his good liking, as a wanton dallying with others to his griefe and diſgrace.

1. 587. See Treat. 4. §. 42. [moved in the edition]

Mildneſſe in a wife hath reſpect alſo to the ordering of her countenance, geſture, and whole cariage before her husband, whereby ſhe manifeſteth a pleaſingneſſe to him, and a contentedneſſe and willingneſſe to be vnder him and ruled by him. Excellently is this ſet forth in the ſpouſe of Chriſt whoſe eies are ſaid to be as doues eies, her lips to drop as honie combs, and⁵⁸⁹ ſhe her ſelfe euery way pleaſant: whereupon it is noted that ſhe appeared to her husband as the bright morning, and that his heart was wounded with her. Aſſuredly the cleere skie is not more pleaſant in time of harueſt, then a milde and amiable countenance and carriage of a wife in her husbands preſence.⁵⁹⁰ And though her husband ſhould be of an harſh and cruell diſpoſition, yet by this means might he be made meeke and gentle. For the keepers of Lions are ſaid to bring them to ſome tameneſſe by handling them gently and ſpeaking to them fairely.

1. 588. Treat. 4. §. 13, 22. [moved in the edition]
2. 589. Cant. 4. & 6. & 7.
3. 590. Is cui leonum cura commiſſa eſt, blanda manu, mollique verborum ſono permulſos domat. Greg. Naz. ad Olymp.

Contrary to this mildneſſe is a frowning brow, a lowring eie, a ſullen looke, a powting lip, a ſwelling face, a deriding p. 279 mouth, a ſcornefull caſt of the armes and hands, a diſdainfull turning of this ſide and that ſide of the body, and a fretfull flinging out of her husbands preſence: all which and other like contemptuous geſtures are as thicke clouds ouerſpreading the heauens in a Summers day, which make it very vncomfortable. They oft ſtirre vp much paſſion in the man, and bring much miſchiefe vpon the wife her ſelfe.

Courteſie is that vertue whereby a wife taketh occaſion to teſtifie her acknowledgement of her husbands ſuperiority by ſome outward obeyſance to him. Rebekah, ſo ſoone as ſhe ſaw Iſaak, whom ſhe had taken for her husband, lighted from her Camell and came to him on foot, which was a kinde of obeyſance. This is not ſo to be taken as if no difference were to be made betwixt the carriage of a ſeruant, or childe, and a wife: or as if a wife ſhould bow at euery word that ſhe ſpeaketh to her husband. Though in the kinde and extent of many duties the ſame things are required of wiues which are required of children and ſeruants, becauſe God hath made them all inferiours, and exacted ſubiection of all: yet in the manner and meaſure of many duties there is great difference: as in this, the obeyſance of children and ſeruants ought to be more ſubmiſſiue, and more frequent. Yet becauſe God hath placed authority in the husband ouer his wife, ſhe is euery way to teſtifie her reuerend reſpect of her husband, and therefore at ſome times, on ſome occaſions (as when he is going on a iourney for a time from her, or when he returneth home againe, or when ſhe hath a ſolemne and great ſute to make vnto him, or when he offereth an eſpeciall and extraordinary fauour vnto her, or (as I haue obſerued ſuch wiues as know what beſeemeth their place, and are not aſhamed to manifeſt as much) when ſhe ſitteth⁵⁹² downe or riſeth vp from table) to declare her reuerence by ſome obeyſance. This cannot but much worke on the heart of a good and kinde husband, and make him the more to reſpect his wife, when he beholdeth this euidence of her reſpect to him. Yea it cannot but be a good patterne to children⁵⁹³ and ſeruants, and a motiue to ſtirre them vp to yeeld all ſubmiſſiue obeyſance both to her husband and to her ſelfe. p. 280 For it may make them thus to reaſon with themſelues, ſhall⁵⁹⁴ we ſcorne or thinke much to yeeld that to our father or maſter which our mother or miſtreſſe thinketh not much to yeeld to her husband? ſhall-ſhe bow to him, and ſhall not we much more bow to her? Thus a wiues honouring of her husband by yeelding obeyſance to him, maketh both him and her ſelfe to be more honoured of others.

1. 591. Treat. 4. §. 15. [moved in the edition]
2. 592. 1. A wiuelike courteſie worketh a good reſpect in her huſband to her.
3. 593. 2. It maketh her husband be honoured of others.
4. 594. 3. It bringeth honour to her ſelfe.

Contrarily minded are they, who not only altogether omit⁵⁹⁵ this dutie, but alſo gibe and ſcoffe at the very hearing thereof, ſaying, thus wiues ſhall be made no better then children or ſeruants. But though ſcornefull dames deride theſe outward euidences of their ſubiection, yet ſuch wiues as feare the Lord ought not to be hindered thereby from doing their dutie: for by ſuch euill examples they might be diſcouraged from euery good dutie. It is ſufficient that ſuch holy women as truſted in God ſo behaued themſelues. But for this particular, we know that equals ſcorne not vpon occaſions to performe this kinde of courteſie in making obeyſance one to another: how much leſſe ought wiues, who are their husbands inferiours?

1. 595. Contrary ſcorne in wiues.

Modeſtie appertaining to a wife is much manifeſted in her apparell. S. Paul requireth this modeſtie in generall of all ſorts of women: but S. Peter preſſeth it in particular vpon wiues. For as it well beſeemeth all women, ſo wiues after a peculiar manner, namely, in attiring themſelues, to reſpect rather their husbands place and ſtate, then their owne birth and parentage, but much rather then their owne minde and humour. A wiues modeſtie therefore requireth that her apparell be neither for coſtlineſſe aboue her husbands abilitie, nor for curiouſneſſe vn beſeeming his calling. As a poore mans wife muſt not affect coſtly apparell, ſo neither Miniſters, graue Counſellours, ſage Magiſtrates, no nor conſcionable Profeſſours wiues, hunt after new faſhions, or in light and gariſh apparell attire themſelues. It is a token of great reuerence in a wife towards her husband, to haue an eye to his place and ſtate in her apparell.

1. 596. Treat. 4. §. 49, 52. 1 Tim. 2 9. 1 Pet. 3. 3. [moved in the edition]

On the contrarie, ſuch proud daines as muſt haue their p. 281 owne will in their attire, and thinke it nothing appertaineth⁵⁹⁷ to their husbands to order them therein, who care not what their husbands abilitie, or what his place and calling be, they ſhew little reſpect and reuerence to their husbands. Such are they, who are no whit moued with their husbands example: but though the mans apparell be plaine and graue, yet the wiues ſhall be coſtly and gariſh. Yea many there be that ſtand in ſome more awe of their husbands ſight, but ſhew little more reſpect vnto him, who haue their ſilken gownes, Beauer hats, and other like attire not agreeable to their place and ſtate, lie in the countrey, if they be of the citie; or in the citie, if they be of the countrey, in a friends houſe where their husbands ſhall⁵⁹⁸ not know it, and when their husbands are not with them, weare them, and paint their faces, lay out their haire, and in euerie thing follow the faſhion. What can they which behold this thinke, but that ſuch a wiues care is more to pleaſe other light vaine perſons, then her graue, diſcreet husband: or that her husband can nothing at all preuaile with her: which as it ſtaineth her owne credit, ſo it leaueth a blot of diſhonour euen vpon him. If the care of a wife were to giue euidence of the reuerence which ſhe beareth to her husband, his deſire and example would in this reſpect more preuaile with her, then the humour of her owne heart.

1. 597. Contrarie wiues attire not fitting their huſbands ſtate or place.
2. 598. Quae ſe pingit comitque ſecus quàm viro gratum eſſe nouit, ſatis declarat ſeſe pluribus velle placcre quàm oportet mulierem pudicam, cuius praecipua laus eſt vni placuiſſe cui deſponſata eſt. Eraſm. Inſtit. Matr.

As by geſture, ſo by ſpeech alſo, muſt a wiues reuerence be manifeſted: this muſt be anſwerable to that. For by words as well as by deeds, the affection of the heart is manifeſted,⁶⁰⁰ Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth ſpeaketh. A wiues reuerence is manifeſted by her ſpeech, both in her husbands preſence, and alſo in his abſence. For this end in his preſence her words muſt be few, reuerend and meeke. Firſt few: For the⁶⁰¹ Apoſtle enioyneth⁶⁰² ſilence to wiues in their husbands preſence, and inforceth that dutie with a ſtrong reaſon in theſe words: I permit not the woman to vſurpe authoritie ouer the man, but to be in ſilence: the inference of the latter clauſe vpon the former ſheweth that he ſpeaketh not only of a womans ſilence in the Church, but alſo of a wiues ſilence before her husband: which is further cleared by another like place, where the ſame Apoſtle p. 282 enioyneth wiues to⁶⁰³ learne of their husbands at home. The reaſon before mentioned for ſilence, on the one ſide implieth a reuerend ſubiection, as on the other ſide too much ſpeech implieth an vſurpation of authoritie.

1. 599. Treat. 4. §. 24. [moved in the edition]
2. 600. Matt. 12. 34. [moved in the edition]
3. 601. A wiues words in her huſbands preſence muſt be few.
4. 602. 1 Tim. 2. 12. [moved in the edition]
5. 603. 1 Cor. 14. 35. [moved in the edition]

Obiect. Then belike a wife muſt be alwayes mute before her husband.

Anſw. No ſuch matter: for ſilence in that place is not oppoſed to ſpeech, as if ſhe ſhould not ſpeake at all, but to loquacitie, to talkatiueneſſe, to ouer-much tatling: her husbands preſence muſt ſome what reſtraine her tongue, and ſo will her verie ſilence teſtifie a reuerend reſpect. Otherwiſe ſilence, as it is oppoſed to ſpeech, would imply ſtoutneſſe of ſtomacke, and ſtubbornneſſe of heart, which is an extreme contrarie to loquacitie. But the meane betwixt both, is for a wife to be ſparing in ſpeech, to expect a fit time and iuſt occaſion of ſpeech, to be willing to hearken to the word of knowledge comming out of her husbands mouth. This argueth reuerence.⁶⁰⁴ Elihu manifeſted thereuerend reſpect, which as a younger he bare to his elders, by for bearing to ſpeake while they had any thing to ſay. How much more ought wiues in regard both of their ſex and of their place?

1. 604. Iob 32. 6. [moved in the edition]

Contrarie is their practiſe, who muſt and will haue all the⁶⁰⁵ prate. If their husbands haue begun to ſpeake, their ſlipperie tongues cannot expect and tarrie till he haue done: if (as verie haſtile and forward they are to ſpeake) they preuent not their husbands, they will ſurely take the tale out of his mouth before he haue done: Thus-they diſgrace themſelues, and diſhonour their husbands.

1. 605. Contrarie too much prate.

As their words muſt be few, ſo thoſe few words muſt be reuerend and meeke: both which are alſo implied vnder the forenamed word⁶⁰⁷ ſilence: which in the originall ſignifieth alſo⁶⁰⁸ quietneſſe.

1. 606. Treat. 4. §. 24. [moved in the edition]
2. 607. 1 Tim. 2. 12. ἡσυχία.
3. 608. 1 Tim. 2. 12. ἡσυχία.

Reuerence hath reſpect to the titles whereby a wife nameth her husband. Meekneſſe to the manner of framing her ſpeech to him.⁶⁰⁹

1. 609. Reuerend titles to be giuen to huſbands.

For the titles which a wife in ſpeaking to her husband, or naming him, giueth vnto him, they muſt be ſuch as ſignifie p. 283 ſuperioritie, and ſo ſauour of reuerence. Such are the titles wherewith husbands are named in the Scripture;⁶¹⁰ they are titles of honour. Such alſo are the titles which the Church (who by our Apoſtle is made a patterne for wiues in all ſubiection) giueth to her Spouſe Chriſt Ieſus, as may be gathered out of the Song of ſongs. It is likely that Sarah did vſually giue this title Lord to her husband. For hauing occaſion to thinke of him, preſently this title⁶¹¹ Lord was in her heart: which would not ſo ſuddenly haue riſen vp, if ſhe had not ordinarily vſed it. According to the vſuall titles which we giue to any, doe we in our hearts name them, when we haue occaſion to thinke of them. Among all other titles the name husband, as it is the moſt vſuall, ſo it is the fitteſt and meeteſt title. It intimateth reuerence, and ſauoureth not of niceneſſe & ſingularitie, as theſe titles, Head, Guide, Maſter, Man, and the like doe: which though they be lawfull titles, becauſe the Scripture attributeth them to husbands, and they ſignifie ſuperioritie, yet becauſe they are vnuſuall and ſauour of ſingularitie, they are not ſo meet. Common vſe and practiſe hath made the addition of the husbands ſurname to this title Maſter, more meet.

1. 610. See §. 3.
2. 611. Gen. 18. 12. [moved in the edition]

⁶¹² Saint Peter by this argument proueth that Sarah obeyed Abraham, becauſe ſhe called him Lord.

1. 612. 1 Pet. 3. 6. [moved in the edition]

Contrarie are thoſe compellations which argue equalitie or inferioritie rather then ſuperioritie, as Brother, Coſen, Friend, Man, &c. if a ſtranger be in preſence, how can he tell by this manner of compellation, that he whom thou ſpeakeſt vnto is thy husband? If he eſpie any matrimoniall familiaritie betwixt you, what can he iudge of it otherwiſe to be, lightneſſe and wantonneſſe? Remember the fearefull iſſue that had like to haue fallen out by reaſon of ſuch compellations giuen by⁶¹³ Sarah and⁶¹⁴ Rebekah to their husbands. Not vnlike to thoſe are ſuch as theſe, Sweet, Sweeting, Heart, Sweet-heart, Loue, Ioy, Deare, &c. and ſuch as theſe, Ducke, Chicke, Pigſnie, &c. and husbands Chriſtian names, as Iohn, Thomas, William, Henry, &c. which if they be contracted (as many vſe to contract them thus, Iacke, Tom, Will, Hall) they are much more vnſeemly: ſeruants are vſually ſo called.

1. 613. Gen. 12. 19. & 20. 2. [moved in the edition]
2. 614. & 26. 9. [moved in the edition]

But what may we ſay of thoſe titles giuen to an husband by p. 284 his wife, not ſeldome in paſſion, but vſually in ordinarie ſpeech, which are not fit to be giuen to the baſeſt men that be, as Grub, Rogue, and the like, which I am euen aſhamed to name, but that the ſins of women are to be caſt as dirt on their faces, that they may be the more aſhamed?

Anſw. Subiection is that marke which wiues are directed to aime at in their thoughts, words, deeds, and whole conuerſation towards their husband. Such tokens of familiaritie as are not withall tokens of ſubiection and reuerence, are vnbeſeeming a wife, becauſe they ſwerue from that marke.

Meekneſſe in a wiues manner of framing her ſpeech to her husband, doth alſo commend her reuerend reſpect of him. This is an eſpeciall effect of that meeke and quiet ſpirit which S. Peter requireth of wiues; which dutie he doth ſtrongly inforce by this weighty argument,⁶¹⁶ which is before God a thing much ſet by. Is a wiues meekneſſe much ſet by before God, and ſhall not wiues hold it both a bounden dutie, and comely ornament, and grace vnto them? As the forme of words which a wife vſeth in asking or anſwering queſtions, or any other kinde of diſcourſe which ſhee holdeth with her husband, ſo her moderation in perſiſting, arguing and preſſing matters, yea and the milde compoſition of her countenance in ſpeaking, declare her meekneſſe. If ſhe be deſirous to obtaine any thing of him, fairely ſhe muſt intreat it, as the⁶¹⁷ Shunemite: If ſhe would moue him to performe a bounden dutie, mildly ſhe muſt perſwade him. If ſhe would reſtraine and keepe him from doing that which is euill, euen that alſo ſhe muſt doe with ſome meekneſſe, as⁶¹⁸ Pilats wife: If ſhe haue occaſion to tell him of a fault, therein ſhe ought to manifeſt humilitie and reuerence, by obſeruing a fit ſeaſon, and doing it after a gentle manner as⁶¹⁹ Abigail: who as ſhe wiſely behaued her ſelfe in this reſpect with her husband in obſeruing a fit ſeaſon, ſo alſo with Dauid by intimating his fault vnto him, rather then plainly reprouing him, when ſhe ſaid, It ſhall be no griefe nor offence vnto my Lord, that he hath not ſhed bloud cauſeleſſe. This p. 285 meekneſſe requireth alſo ſilence and patience, euen when ſhe is reproued.

1. 615. Treat. 4. §. 24. &c. [moved in the edition]
2. 616. 1 Pet. 3. 4. [moved in the edition]
3. 617. 2 King. 4. 10. 22. [moved in the edition]
4. 618. Matt. 27. 19. [moved in the edition]
5. 619. 2 Sam. 25. 31, 37. [moved in the edition]

Contrary is the waſpiſh and ſhrewiſh diſpoſition of many⁶²⁰ wiues to their husbands, who care not how haſtily and vnaduiſedly they ſpeake to them, like⁶²¹ Rahel; nor how angerly and chidingly, like⁶²² Iezabel; nor how diſdainfully, and ſpightfully, like⁶²³ Zipporah; nor how ſcoffingly, and frumpingly, like⁶²⁴ Michal; nor how reproachfully and diſgracefully, like⁶²⁵ Iobs wife. If they be reproued by their husbands, their husbands ſhall be reproached by them: & they are ready to anſwer again, not only word for word, but ten for one. Many wiues by their ſhrewiſh ſpeeches, ſhew no more reſpect to their husbands, then to their ſeruants, if ſo much. The leaſt occaſion moueth them not only inwardly to be angry and fret againſt them, but alſo outwardly to manifeſt the ſame by chiding and brawling. The very obiect whereupon many wiues vſually ſpit out their venomous words, is their husband; when their ſtomacks are full, they muſt needs eaſe them on their husbands: wherein their fault is doubled.

1. 620. Contrary wiues ſhrewiſh ſpeeches to their huſbands.
2. 621. Gen. 30. 1. [moved in the edition]
3. 622. 1 King. 21. 7. [moved in the edition]
4. 623. Exo. 4. 25, 26. [moved in the edition]
5. 624. 2 Sam. 6. 20. [moved in the edition]
6. 625. Iob 2. 9. [moved in the edition]

Let wiues therefore learne firſt to moderate their paſſion, and then to keepe in their tongues with bit and bridle, but moſt of all to take heed that their husbands taſte not of the bitterneſſe thereof, no not though they ſhould by ſome ouerſight of their husbands be prouoked. It is to be noted how Salomon calleth the iarres which are betweene man and wife, the contentions of a wife, whereby he intimateth that ſhe commonly⁶²⁶ is the cauſe thereof, either by prouoking her husband, or not bearing with him.

1. 626. Prou. 19. 13. [moved in the edition]

The reuerence which a wife beareth to her husband, muſt further be manifeſted by her ſpeeches of him in his abſence. So did Sarah manifeſt her reuerence, and ſo muſt all ſuch as deſire⁶²⁸ to be accounted the daughters of Sarah. The Church ſpeaking of her Spouſe, doth it with as great reuerence, as if ſhe⁶²⁹ had ſpoken to him. It was for honour and reuerence ſake, that the Virgin Mary called Ioſeph the Father of Ieſus, when ſhe⁶³⁰ ſpake of him.

1. 627. Treat. 2. Part. 2. §. 36. [moved in the edition]
2. 628. Gen. 18. 12. [moved in the edition]
3. 629. Cant 5. 10. &c. [moved in the edition]
4. 630. Luke 2. 48. [moved in the edition]

This ſheweth that a wiues reuerend ſpeeches in preſence of p. 286 her husband and to his face, are not in flatterie to pleaſe him and fawne vpon him, but in ſinceritie to pleaſe God and performe her dutie.

Contrary therefore to their dutie deale they, who in preſence⁶³¹ can afford the faireſt and meek eſt ſpeeches that may be to their husbands face, but⁶³² behinde their backs ſpeake moſt reproachfully of them.

1. 631. Contrary wiues bitter ſpeeches behind their huſbands backs.
2. 632. See more hereof Treat 2. part 2. §. 36.