Then & Now · Volume III · 5 of 10
Children Honoring Father and Mother in the Lord
Children Honoring Father and Mother in the Lord
§. 52. Of the manner of performing childrens duties.
§. 52. Of the manner of performing children’s duties.
1. That their duties be performed in conſcience, or for conſcience ſake, which is all one as for the Lords ſake: for the Lord onely is Iudge of the conſcience and hath power ouer it. Thus378 muſt ſubiects performe duty to magiſtrates: much more children to parents. The reaſon which the Apoſtle rendereth in theſe words, This is wel-pleaſing to the Lord, ſheweth that children in obeying their parents muſt labour to approue themſelues to God.
- 378. 1. By obeying for the Lords ſake. Rom. 13. 5. 1 Pet. 2. 13. Col. 3. 20.
1. That their duties be performed in conscience, or for conscience sake, which is all one as for the Lord’s sake: for the Lord only is Judge of the conscience and hath power over it. Thus376 must subjects perform duty to magistrates: much more children to parents. The reason which the Apostle rendereth in these words, This is well-pleasing to the Lord, showeth that children in obeying their parents must labour to approve themselves to God.
- 376. 1. By obeying for the Lord’s sake. Rom‸ 13:‸5. 1 Pet‸ 2:‸13. Col‸ 3:‸20.
2. Their duties muſt be in ſincerity, which is when children379 pretend in ſhew to doe no more, then in truth and heart they meane: Whatſoeuer ye doe, doe it heartily as to the Lord, ſaith380 the Apoſtle. Parents vſe to deale with none more heartily then with their children: accordingly muſt children deale with parents.
2. Their duties must be in sincerity, which is when children377 pretend in show to do no more, then in truth and heart they mean: Whatsoever ye do, do it heartily as to the Lord,378 saith the Apostle. Parents use to deal with none more heartily then with their children: accordingly must children deal with parents.
3. They muſt be performed cheerefully, with a willing and381 ready minde: for the Lord loueth cheerefulneſſe. Herein lyeth a maine difference betwixt a filiall and ſeruile, a childe382 like and ſlauelike obedience.383
6. Conſtancy muſt be added to all other vertues. For as the387 Lord himſelfe is conſtant in all his waies and workes, ſo he expecteth that children ſhould be in the duties which he requireth at their hands. He that beginneth well, and holdeth not on, loſeth all the glory of his good beginning.
- 387. 6. With perſeverance.
6. Constancy must be added to all other virtues. For as the385 Lord himself is constant in all his ways and works, so he expecteth that children should be in the duties which he requireth at their hands. He that beginneth well, and holdeth not on, loseth all the glory of his good beginning.
- 385. 6. With perseverance.
If the examples of all good children commended in Scripture be well weighed, we ſhall finde their duties, ſo farre forth as they were acceptable to God, performed after the foreſaid manner, in all the branches thereof.
If the examples of all good children commended in Scripture be well weighed, we shall find their duties, so far forth as they were acceptable to God, performed after the foresaid manner, in all the branches thereof.
§. 53. Of the aberrations of children in the manner of their obedience.
§. 53. Of the aberrations of children in the manner of their obedience.
Contrary are theſe aberrations.
Contrary are these aberrations.
1. When children performe their duties on by-reſpects:388 for feare of parents wrath, and the puniſhment following thereon: for hope and expectation of greater portion and allowance: vpon inſtant perſwaſion of friends, with the like: theſe reſpects ſimply in themſelues are not for the Lord.
- 388. Faults in the manner of doing duty. 1. By-reſpects.
1. When children perform their duties on by-respects:386 for fear of parents wrath, and the punishment following thereon: for hope and expectation of greater portion and allowance: upon instant persuasion of friends, with the like: these respects simply in themselves are not for the Lord.
- 386. Faults in the manner of doing duty. 1. By-respects.
6. When, as if they repented of what they haue well done,394 they refuſe to doe any more duty to their parents. They waxe weary, thinking that God hath laid too heauy a burden vpon them. Many ſhew themſelues more dutifull in their younger then in their riper yeares. That which maketh children weary in doing duty, is commonly the great and long neede of their parents, as long ſickneſſe, long impotency, long pouerty, p. 484 with the like. It appeares that ſuch children looke only on their parents as men, which, as they imagine, can neuer recompence their paines and coſt: they looke not to God who is able abundantly to recompence all. Theſe therefore performe not their duty in the Lord.
- 394. 6. Vnſetledly.
6. When, as if they repented of what they have well done,392 they refuse to do any more duty to their parents. They wax weary, thinking that God hath laid too heavy a burden upon them. Many show themselves more dutiful in their younger then in their riper years. That which maketh children weary in doing duty, is commonly the great and long need of their parents, as long sickness, long impotency, long poverty, with the like. It appears that such children look only on their parents as men, which, as they imagine, can never recompense their pains and cost: they look not to God who is able abundantly to recompense all. These therefore perform not their duty in the Lord.
- 392. 6. Unsettledly.
§. 54. Of the equall reſpect that children are to beare to both parents.
§. 54. Of the equal respect that children are to bear to both parents.
As the diſtinct duties of children haue beene ſet forth, ſo I thinke it requiſite to declare diſtinctly who the parties be to whom thoſe duties are to be performed. Theſe principally are the naturall parents, both Father and Mother. Secondarily ſuch as are in the place of parents.
As the distinct duties of children have been set forth, so I think it requisite to declare distinctly who the parties be to whom those duties are to be performed. These principally are the natural parents, both father and mother. Secondarily such as are in the place of parents.
The firſt point then to be noted is, that children beare an equall reſpect to both their naturall parents, and performe duty to both alike. The law expreſly mentioneth both, Honour thy Father and thy Mother. Well may we thinke that there was ſome iuſt and vrgent cauſe, that the law which ſo briefly vnder as few words as well could be, compriſeth exceeding much matter, ſhould expreſly mention father and mother, when as there is one word, parent, which includeth both. Now what other reaſon can be rendred then the point in hand?
The first point then to be noted is, that children bear an equal respect to both their natural parents, and perform duty to both alike. The law expressly mentioneth both, honour thy father and thy mother. Well may we think that there was some just and urgent cause, that the law which so briefly under as few words as well could be, compriseth exceeding much matter, should expressly mention father and mother, when as there is one word, parent, which includeth both. Now what other reason can be rendered then the point in hand?
It is worthy to be noted, how the Apoſtle contenteth not himſelfe to haue named parents, which implieth both, but alſo annexeth the expreſſe words of the law, which in particular ſetteth downe, father and mother. It is expreſly ſet downe of Iaakob that he obeyed his father and his mother. Among other395 pen-men of Scripture Salomon expreſly mentioneth both father and mother, euen almoſt twenty ſeuerall times in Prou.
- 395. Gen. 28. 7. [moved in the edition]
It is worthy to be noted, how the Apostle contenteth not himself to have named parents, which implieth both, but also annexeth the express words of the law, which in particular setteth down, father and mother. It is expressly set down of Jacob that he obeyed his father and his mother.393 Among other pen-men of Scripture Solomon expressly mentioneth both father and mother, even almost twenty several times in Prov.
- 393. Gen‸ 28:‸7. [moved here by the editor]
Many reaſons there be to inforce this point.
Many reasons there be to enforce this point.
2. The care and pains of both for the good of the children is very great: I know not of whether the greater. The mothers paines and care in bringing forth the childe is indeed the greater, and it may be alſo the greater in bringing vp the childe, eſpecially while it is young, at leaſt if ſhe giue it ſucke her ſelfe: yet afterwards the fathers exceedeth in prouiding fit calling, p. 485 ſufficient meanes of maintenance, yea and portion or inheritance for it, and that after he himſelfe is dead. Thus one way or other the childe is equally bound to both: and accordingly Gods law maketh no difference betwixt them.
2. The care and pains of both for the good of the children is very great: I know not of whether the greater. The mothers pains and care in bringing forth the child is indeed the greater, and it may be also the greater in bringing up the child, especially while it is young, at least if she give it suck her self: yet afterwards the fathers exceedeth in providing fit calling, sufficient means of maintenance, yea and portion or inheritance for it, and that after he himself is dead. Thus one way or other the child is equally bound to both: and accordingly God’s law maketh no difference betwixt them.
Obiect. The wife is ſubiect to her husband: therefore a childe ought to preferre his father before his mother.
Object. The wife is subject to her husband: therefore a child ought to prefer his father before his mother.
Anſw. Though there be a difference betwixt father and397 mother in relation of one to another, yet in relation to their children they are both as one, and haue a like authority ouer them. Now children are not to looke to that difference that is betwixt their parents in that mutuall relation that is betwixt husband and wife, but to that authority which both parents haue ouer their children: and ſo to carry an equall reſpect to both.
- 397. Both parents to be of like account with children.
Answ. Though there be a difference betwixt father and395 mother in relation of one to another, yet in relation to their children they are both as one, and have a like authority over them. Now children are not to look to that difference that is betwixt their parents in that mutual relation that is betwixt husband and wife, but to that authority which both parents have over their children: and so to carry an equal respect to both.
- 395. Both parents to be of like account with children.
2. Obiect. What if the fathers and mothers diſpoſition398 be contrary: and the one command what the other forbids.
2. Object. What if the fathers and mothers disposition396 be contrary: and the one command what the other forbids.
Anſw. The thing commanded or forbidden muſt be obſerued: if it be about a thing ſimply good or euill, lawfull, or vnlawfull, then the parent which would haue the thing lawfull to be done, or vnlawfull to be for borne (though it be the mother) muſt be obeyed: for in this caſe ſhe is backt with Gods authority. But if the matter be meerely indifferent, then I doubt not but the father muſt be obeyed: yet ſo as the childe no way ſhew any contempt to his mother, but with all reuerence and humility make it knowne to her that it is beſt both for her-ſelfe and himſelfe, that his father be obeyed. But if the fathers contrary authority be not interpoſed, or if the father be dead, then is a mother as ſimply and abſolutely to be obeyed in all things, as a father.
- 398. Direction for a childe when one parent commandeth one thing, the other another.
Answ. The thing commanded or forbidden must be observed: if it be about a thing simply good or evil, lawful, or unlawful, then the parent which would have the thing lawful to be done, or unlawful to be forborne (though it be the mother) must be obeyed: for in this case she is backed with God’s authority. But if the matter be merely indifferent, then I doubt not but the father must be obeyed: yet so as the child no way show any contempt to his mother, but with all reverence and humility make it known to her that it is best both for her-self and himself, that his father be obeyed. But if the fathers contrary authority be not interposed, or if the father be dead, then is a mother as simply and absolutely to be obeyed in all things, as a father.
- 396. Direction for a child when one parent commandeth one thing, the other another.
§. 55. Of pretences alledged to obey father rather then mother.
§. 55. Of pretences alleged to obey father rather then mother.
Contrary on the one ſide is their childiſh fondneſſe who ſo wholly reſpect their mother, and ſeeke to pleaſe her, as they little regard their father, vnleſſe through feare they be forced thereto: and on the other ſide, their ſcornefull ſpirit who only beare reſpect to their father, and altogether neglect their mother, if not deſpiſe her. For the moſt part, of the two, the mother is leſſe regarded. The reaſons whereof I take to be theſe p. 486 following, whereunto I will annex particular meanes to remoue the ſeeming force of thoſe reaſons, as antidotes or remedies vnto them.
Contrary on the one side is their childish fondness who so wholly respect their mother, and seek to please her, as they little regard their father, unless through fear they be forced thereto: and on the other side, their scornful spirit who only bear respect to their father, and altogether neglect their mother, if not despise her. For the most part, of the two, the mother is less regarded. The reasons whereof I take to be these following, whereunto I will annex particular means to remove the seeming force of those reasons, as antidotes or remedies unto them.
1. The mother by reaſon of her ſex is commonly the weaker, and ſubiect to more infirmities.
1. The mother by reason of her sex is commonly the weaker, and subject to more infirmities.
Anſw. Children ought rather to looke vpon their mothers place and authority, then their perſon and infirmitie: ſo theſe would no whit impaire their reſpect of the other.
Answ. Children ought rather to look upon their mothers place and authority, then their person and infirmity: so these would no whit impair their respect of the other.
Anſw. This is the abuſe of familiarity: loue ſhould breed loue: and loue muſt be ordered according to the condition of the parties louing, and loued. As children with one eie behold the affection of the mother, ſo with another they ſhould behold Gods image in the mother; and then (that which is400 noted as the ground of all childrens dutie) a louing-feare would be wrought in their heart, which would caſt out all contempt.
- 400. §. 2, 3.
Answ. This is the abuse of familiarity: love should breed love: and love must be ordered according to the condition of the parties loving, and loved. As children with one eye behold the affection of the mother, so with another they should behold God’s image in the mother; and then (that which is398 noted as the ground of all children’s duty) a loving-fear would be wrought in their heart, which would cast out all contempt.
- 398. §. 2, 3.
3. The mother hath not that power to reward or reuenge that a father hath.
3. The mother hath not that power to reward or revenge that a father hath.
Anſw. 1. This is not to obey in the Lord. No outward reſpect ſhould moue the childe to obey his parents ſo much as conſcience to God-wards. If children duly conſidered God, how he hath made no difference, but commanded them to obey both alike, and how he is able abundantly to reward, and ſeuerely to reuenge, that reaſon would be no reaſon.
Answ. 1. This is not to obey in the Lord. No outward respect should move the child to obey his parents so much as conscience to God-wards. If children duly considered God, how he hath made no difference, but commanded them to obey both alike, and how he is able abundantly to reward, and severely to revenge, that reason would be no reason.
4. The mother is ſubiect to the father.
4. The mother is subject to the father.
As a generall anſwer to theſe and all other ſuch pretences as can be alledged, let it be noted that the Lord doth not only in expreſſe termes charge children to feare their mother, but alſo (the more to preſſe this point) ſometime ſetteth the mother in the firſt place, thus; Yee ſhall feare euery man his mother,402 and his father: which is not ſo to be taken as if the mother of the two were the more excellent (in this reſpect the father for the moſt part is firſt named) but becauſe it is the trueſt triall of a childes ſubiection to be ſubiect to his mother. He that p. 487 willingly and conſcionably ſubiecteth himſelfe to her, who is in relation to her husband the inferiour, in ſex the weaker, in condition ſubiect to more infirmities, in her affections leſſe moderate, in power leſſe able to reward, or to puniſh, will much rather (no doubt) ſubiect himſelfe to his father.
- 402. Leu. 19. 3.
As a general answer to these and all other such pretences as can be alleged, let it be noted that the Lord doth not only in express terms charge children to fear their mother, but also (the more to press this point) sometime setteth the mother in the first place, thus; Ye shall fear every man his mother,400 and his father: which is not so to be taken as if the mother of the two were the more excellent (in this respect the father for the most part is first named) but because it is the truest trial of a childes subjection to be subject to his mother. He that willingly and conscionably subjecteth himself to her, who is in relation to her husband the inferior, in sex the weaker, in condition subject to more infirmities, in her affections less moderate, in power less able to reward, or to punish, will much rather (no doubt) subject himself to his father.
- 400. Lev‸ 19:‸3.
§. 56. Of the difference of childrens ſubiection to naturall parents, and to ſuch as only are in the place of parents.
§. 56. Of the difference of children’s subjection to natural parents, and to such as only are in the place of parents.
Beſide naturall parents, there are others by God ſo ſet ouer children, as they owe in conſcience child-like dutie vnto them. Theſe in generall are ſuch as are in the place of parents, and ſo performe, or at leaſt ought to performe, the dutie of parents to children.
Beside natural parents, there are others by God so set over children, as they owe in conscience child-like duty unto them. These in general are such as are in the place of parents, and so perform, or at least ought to perform, the duty of parents to children.
They are of two ſorts.
They are of two sorts.
1. Such as are ioyned to a naturall parent in mariage, commonly called Step-fathers, and ſtep-mothers, or fathers in law, and mothers in law.
1. Such as are joined to a natural parent in marriage, commonly called Step-fathers, and step-mothers, or fathers in law, and mothers in law.
2. Such as haue the gouernment and tuition of children committed to them, commonly called Guardians, Tutors, Gouernours: yea alſo foſter-fathers, and foſter-mothers.
2. Such as have the government and tuition of children committed to them, commonly called Guardians, Tutors, Governors: yea also foster-fathers, and foster-mothers.
Queſt. Is the ſame dutie in euery reſpect due to thoſe who are in place of parents, as to naturall parents themſelues?
Quest. Is the same duty in every respect due to those who are in place of parents, as to natural parents themselves?
Anſw. Not ſo. There is ſuch a prerogatiue appertaining to naturall parents from whom children haue receiued their being, that many things wherein children by an abſolute neceſſity403 are bound to them, are bound vnto the other who are but in place of parents, only by the law of honeſty, of meetneſſe &404 conueniency. Whence it commeth to paſſe that ſuch things as being done by children rebelliouſly without, or againſt the conſent of naturall parents proue meere nullities, will ſtand in force though they be done without or againſt the conſent of ſuch as are only in the place of parents: inſtance contracts made about goods, lands and ſuch other things as parents retaine a right in: whereunto many good Diuines adde405 contracts of mariage, of calling and the like.
Answ. Not so. There is such a prerogative appertaining to natural parents from whom children have received their being, that many things wherein children by an absolute necessity401 are bound to them, are bound unto the other who are but in place of parents, only by the law of honesty, of meetness &402 conveniency. Whence it cometh to pass that such things as being done by children rebelliously without, or against the consent of natural parents prove mere nullities, will stand in force though they be done without or against the consent of such as are only in the place of parents: instance contracts made about goods, lands and such other things as parents retain a right in: whereunto many good Divines add403 contracts of marriage, of calling and the like.
Yet notwithſtanding ſeeing in conſcience we are bound to thoſe things which the law of honeſty, and conueniency requirety (for whatſoeuer things are honeſt, iuſt, and of good report,406 p. 488 are to be done) great is that dutie which children owe to thoſe who are in place of parents.
- 406. Phil. 4. 8.
§. 57. Of childrens ſubiection to fathers and mothers in law.
§. 57. Of children’s subjection to fathers and mothers in law.
Fathers and mothers in law are to be ranked in the firſt degree of thoſe who are in the place of naturall parents. Very good proofe there is in Scripture for childrens ſubiection to them. The reſpect which Moſes beare to his father in law,407 and Ruth to her mother in law, and Chriſt himſelfe to his ſuppoſed father, are commended for this very purpoſe. Subiection is noted in Chriſts example: Reuerence in Moſes: Recompence in Ruths.
- 407. Exo. 18. 7. Ruth. 1. & 2. Luk. 2. 51.
Fathers and mothers in law are to be ranked in the first degree of those who are in the place of natural parents. Very good proof there is in Scripture for children’s subjection to them. The respect which Moses bare to his father in law,405 and Ruth to her mother in law, and Christ himself to his supposed father, are commended for this very purpose. Subjection is noted in Christ’s example: reverence in Moses: Recompense in Ruth’s.
- 405. Exod 18:‸7. Ruth‸ 1. & 2. Luke 2:‸51.
The law of God maketh it plaine inceſt for a ſonne to vncouer409 the ſhame of his mother in law, or for a father in law to vncouer the ſhame of his daughter in law. Whereby it appeareth that fathers and mothers in law, are by Gods law in the very place and ſteed of naturall parents to their children, and accordingly as naturall parents are to be honoured.
- 409. Leu. 18. 8, 17.
The law of God maketh it plain incest for a son to uncover407 the shame of his mother in law, or for a father in law to uncover the shame of his daughter in law. Whereby it appeareth that fathers and mothers in law, are by God’s law in the very place and stead of natural parents to their children, and accordingly as natural parents are to be honoured.
- 407. Lev‸ 18:‸8, 17.
Contrary is the minde and cariage of moſt children. Very few beare a reuerend, dutifull, and child-like reſpect to ſtepfathers, and ſtep-mothers: but for the moſt part deſpiſe them in heart, grumble at them in ſpeech, and are very vndutifull in their behauiour: whence it commeth to paſſe that they bring much griefe to their naturall parent, and oft cauſe much diſcord and diſſention betwixt their naturall, and step-parents being herein ſet on worke by Satan, who laboureth what he can to diſunite thoſe whom God hath neerely vnited together and made one fleſh. Lamentable experience ſheweth that the ſecond, third, or any after-mariages are ſeldome ſo comfortable and peaceable as the firſt: eſpecially if either the one, or other, p. 489 or both haue children. The cauſe thereof, for the moſt part, is in children, who brooke not fathers or mothers in law.
Contrary is the mind and carriage of most children. Very few bear a reverend, dutiful, and child-like respect to stepfathers, and step-mothers: but for the most part despise them in heart, grumble at them in speech, and are very undutiful in their behaviour: whence it cometh to pass that they bring much grief to their natural parent, and oft cause much discord and dissension betwixt their natural, and step-parents being herein set on work by Satan, who laboureth what he can to disunite those whom God hath nearly united together and made one flesh. Lamentable experience showeth that the second, third, or any after-marriages are seldom so comfortable and peaceable as the first: especially if either the one, or other, or both have children. The cause thereof, for the most part, is in children, who brook not fathers or mothers in law.
Obiect. Nature cannot ſo well brooke a ſtep-parent, as a naturall parent.
Object. Nature cannot so well brook a step-parent, as a natural parent.
Anſw. 1. If not ſo well, yet deſpiſe them not: there is a difference betwixt extremes.
Answ. 1. If not so well, yet despise them not: there is a difference betwixt extremes.
2. Conſcience and religion ought to alter corrupt nature. Looke to Gods ordinance: and let Gods feare poſſeſſe thine heart, that that may bring thee to doe what nature cannot.
2. Conscience and religion ought to alter corrupt nature. Look to God’s ordinance: and let God’s fear possess thine heart, that that may bring thee to do what nature cannot.
2. Obiect. Fathers and Mothers in law ſeldome reſpect their husbands or wiues former children.
2. Object. Fathers and Mothers in law seldom respect their husbands or wives former children.
§. 58. Of childrens ſubiection to Guardians, Tutors, &c.
§. 58. Of children’s subjection to Guardians, Tutors, etc‸.
For childrens ſubiection to Gouernours, Guardians, and Tutors, the Apoſtle ſaith that a childe is vnder them. If by the law413 children are vnder them, they ought in equitie to be ſubiect to them. It is expreſly noted of Esther, euen after the King had choſen her for his wife, that ſhe did the commandement of Mordecai414 (who was as a Guardian to her) like as when ſhe was brought vp with him. A memorable patterne for this purpoſe. What pretences might ſhe haue made to haue caſt off all manner of ſubiection? Mordecai was but her coſen: ſhe was now aduanced aboue him: a wife ſhe was, and ſo ſubiect to her husband: yea a Kings wife, and ſo her ſelfe a Queene: yet ſhe was ſubiect, and her ſubiection commended. We reade that the children of the Prophets much415 reſpected Eliſha, did reuerence to him, and were obedient to him, becauſe he was as a father and tutor vnto them: in which reſpect alſo Eliſha was as a childe ſubiect to Eliah, whom he called416 father.
For children’s subjection to Governors, Guardians, and Tutors, the Apostle saith that a child is under them.411 If by the law children are under them, they ought in equity to be subject to them. It is expressly noted of Esther, even after the King had chosen her for his wife, that she did the commandment of Mordecai412 (who was as a Guardian to her) like as when she was brought up with him. A memorable pattern for this purpose. What pretences might she have made to have cast off all manner of subjection? Mordecai was but her cousin: she was now advanced above him: a wife she was, and so subject to her husband: yea a Kings wife, and so her self a Queen: yet she was subject, and her subjection commended. We read that the children of the Prophets413 much respected Elisha, did reverence to him, and were obedient to him, because he was as a father and tutor unto them: in which respect also Elisha was as a child subject to Elijah, whom he called414 father.
Contrary is the conceit of many lawleſſe children, whoſe parents being dead, or they being ſent and placed abroad out of the gouernment of their parents, thinke they are cleane free from all gouernment, and may liue as they liſt. Their practiſe being correſpondent to this opinion, they runne into all riot, and in time bring themſelues to vtter ruine. It is the ouerthrow of many children, that they regard not their Guardians, Tutors, and Gouernours: and God in iudgement bringeth many ſuch refractarie children to ſome fearefull & ſhamefull end or other. Let children therefore be wiſe, and not take too much libertie to themſelues.
Contrary is the conceit of many lawless children, whose parents being dead, or they being sent and placed abroad out of the government of their parents, think they are clean free from all government, and may live as they list. Their practise being correspondent to this opinion, they run into all riot, and in time bring themselves to utter ruin. It is the overthrow of many children, that they regard not their Guardians, Tutors, and Governors: and God in judgment bringeth many such refractory children to some fearful & shameful end or other. Let children therefore be wise, and not take too much liberty to themselves.
Thus farre haue beene handled the duties of children in their ſeuerall kindes, the manner of performing them, and the parties to whom they are to be performed. It remaineth to ſpeake of the reaſons which the Apoſtle alledgeth to inforce thoſe duties.
Thus far have been handled the duties of children in their several kinds, the manner of performing them, and the parties to whom they are to be performed. It remaineth to speak of the reasons which the Apostle allegeth to enforce those duties.
§. 59. Of the place of parents, whereby children ought to be moued to obey them.
§. 59. Of the place of parents, whereby children ought to be moved to obey them.
The reaſons which the Apoſtle vſeth to moue children to performe their dutie are foure:
- The firſt is taken from the place of the parent.
- The ſecond from the equitie of the thing.
- The third from Gods expreſſe charge.
- The fourth from Gods promiſe.
The reasons which the Apostle useth to move children to perform their duty are four:
- The first is taken from the place of the parent.
- The second from the equity of the thing.
- The third from God’s express charge.
- The fourth from God’s promise.
I. The place of a parent is noted forth by this phraſe, IN THE LORD: which as it affordeth a418 limitation, and giueth a419 direction to children, ſo it addeth a ſpur vnto them, to ſtirre them vp to performe their dutie: for it ſheweth that parents are to then children in the Lords ſteed: as an euidence thereof hath God420 communicated to them this glorious and honourable title (FATHER) which is421 proper and peculiar to himſelfe. Now then parents being to their children in Gods ſteed, and by vertue of their place bearing Gods image, children in obeying their parents, obey God; in refuſing to obey them, refuſe to obey God. A ſtrong motiue is this firſt motiue. For who is ſo void of religion, but will thinke it moſt meet, that God ſhould be honoured? or p. 491 who ſo impious, as to refuſe to yeeld dutie to God? Here then children may learne in one maine point how to honour the Lord, & ſhew themſelues children of God. And let them here by know, that diſobedient and vndutifull children, that reſiſt the authoritie of parents, reſist the ordinance of God, and receiue to themſelues422 damnation.
I. The place of a parent is noted forth by this phrase, IN THE LORD: which as it affordeth a416 limitation, and giveth a417 direction to children, so it addeth a spur unto them, to stir them up to perform their duty: for it showeth that parents are to their children in the Lord’s stead: as an evidence thereof hath God418 communicated to them this glorious and honourable title (father) which is419 proper and peculiar to himself. Now then parents being to their children in God’s stead, and by virtue of their place bearing God’s image, children in obeying their parents, obey God; in refusing to obey them, refuse to obey God. A strong motive is this first motive. For who is so void of religion, but will think it most meet, that God should be honoured? Or who so impious, as to refuse to yield duty to God? Here then children may learn in one main point how to honour the Lord, & show themselves children of God. And let them hereby know, that disobedient and undutiful children, that resist the authority of parents, resist the ordinance of God,420 and receive to themselves damnation.
§. 60. Of the equitie whereby children ſhould be moued to obey their parents.
§. 60. Of the equity whereby children should be moved to obey their parents.
II. The ſecond reaſon in theſe words, for this is right, though it be not of greater force, yet is it more plainly and expreſly noted to be a reaſon, as the cauſall particle (for) prefixed before it, ſheweth. It is a generall reaſon drawne from common equitie; a reaſon which may moue all ſorts, euen Infidels and Pagans: therefore much more Chriſtians.
II. The second reason in these words, for this is right, though it be not of greater force, yet is it more plainly and expressly noted to be a reason, as the causal particle (for) prefixed before it, showeth. It is a general reason drawn from common equity; a reason which may move all sorts, even Infidels and Pagans: therefore much more Christians.
In ſaying, It is right, he implieth three things.
In saying, It is right, he implieth three things.
1. That it is agreeable to all law. To the law of God, which423 is the fountaine of equitie. To the law of Nature, which proceeds from thence. And to the law of Nations, which is anſwerable in many reſpects. The forenamed proofes out of Gods word, ſhew it to be agreeable to Gods law. The precepts which heathen men haue giuen of this point, ſhew it to be agreeable to the law of nature. And the many Conſtitutions of Law-makers, in all ages, ſhew it to be agreeable to the law of nations.
- 423. Right implieth three things. 1. It is agreeable to all law.
1. That it is agreeable to all law. To the law of God, which421 is the fountain of equity. To the law of nature, which proceeds from thence. And to the law of Nations, which is answerable in many respects. The forenamed proofs out of God’s word, show it to be agreeable to God’s law. The precepts which heathen men have given of this point, show it to be agreeable to the law of nature. And the many Constitutions of Law-makers, in all ages, show it to be agreeable to the law of nations.
- 421. Right implieth three things. 1. It is agreeable to all law.
3. That parents deſerue as much: for right preſuppoſeth desert.425 That which is done of right, is done by way of recompence. The cauſe of this deſert, is the loue which parents beare to children, the paine, paines, care, and coſt they haue beene at, in bringing them forth, and bringing them vp.
- 425. 3. It is a debt.
3. That parents deserve as much: for right presupposeth desert.423 That which is done of right, is done by way of recompense. The cause of this desert, is the love which parents bear to children, the pain, pains, care, and cost they have been at, in bringing them forth, and bringing them up.
- 423. 3. It is a debt.
Theſe things being implied vnder right, note what followeth from the force of this reaſon,
These things being implied under right, note what followeth from the force of this reason,
1. Diſobedient and vndutifull children, tranſgreſſe againſt Gods law, againſt common equitie of all nations, and againſt light of nature: ſo as they are vnworthy of the name of Chriſtians, they are worſe then Infidels, yea worſe then the brute beaſts.
1. Disobedient and undutiful children, transgress against God’s law, against common equity of all nations, and against light of nature: so as they are unworthy of the name of Christians, they are worse then Infidels, yea worse then the brute beasts.
p. 492 2. They haue no reſpect to the place of their parents, they diſgrace the image of God, which their parents by vertue of their place carrie, and they diſturbe that comely order and degree, which God hath ſet among men.
2. They have no respect to the place of their parents, they disgrace the image of God, which their parents by virtue of their place carry, and they disturb that comely order and degree, which God hath set among men.
3. They ill repay their parents care and paines for their good, and ſhew themſelues both vngratefull and vnnaturall: which are two moſt monſtrous and odious ſinnes.
3. They ill repay their parents care and pains for their good, and show themselves both ungrateful and unnatural: which are two most monstrous and odious sins.
§. 61. Of Gods accepting childrens obedience.
§. 61. Of God’s accepting children’s obedience.
What is right is well-pleaſing to the Lord. And againe, What is well-pleaſing to the Lord is right.
What is right is well-pleasing to the Lord. And again, What is well-pleasing to the Lord is right.
Theſe two propoſitions, are (as we ſpeake in Schooles) conuertible and reciprocall; either of them true of the other euery way. Wherefore the Apoſtle, in another place, ioyneth them both together. For hauing exhorted children to recompence their parents, he ſaith, That is good and acceptable before God.427 Good or428 honeſt is in effect the ſame that429 right.
These two propositions, are (as we speak in Schools) convertible and reciprocal; either of them true of the other every way. Wherefore the Apostle, in another place, joineth them both together. For having exhorted children to recompense their parents, he saith, That is good and acceptable before God.425 Good426 or honest is in effect the same that427 right.
This ſheweth, that dutifull children, as they doe that which is good, or honeſt, and right vnto their parents; ſo alſo therein they highly pleaſe God: ſo as they may be ſure not to loſe thereby. At Gods hand they ſhall receiue a reward, though their parents ſhould little regard their dutifulneſſe. Thus God dealt with Iaakob. His father in law ill repaid his faithfulneſſe: but God looked430 vpon him, and abundantly recompenced all his paines.
- 430. Gen. 31. 7, &c. verſ 42.
This showeth, that dutiful children, as they do that which is good, or honest, and right unto their parents; so also therein they highly please God: so as they may be sure not to lose thereby. At God’s hand they shall receive a reward, though their parents should little regard their dutifulness. Thus God dealt with Jacob. His father in law ill repaid his faithfulness: but God looked428 upon him, and abundantly recompensed all his pains.
- 428. Gen‸ 31:‸7, etc‸. vers 42.
This ſheweth againe, that vndutifull children, as they doe not that which is right, but rather wrong vnto their parents; ſo they highly diſpleaſe God: they may be ſure therefore not to eſcape vnpuniſhed, though their parents, through ouer-much indulgencie, ſhould let them alone: inſtance the two impious children of Elie, Hophni and Phinehas: and the two rebellious children of431 Dauid, Abſolom, and Adoniah.
- 431. 1 Sam. 2. 34. 2 Sam. 18. 9. 1 King. 2. 25.
This showeth again, that undutiful children, as they do not that which is right, but rather wrong unto their parents; so they highly displease God: they may be sure therefore not to escape unpunished, though their parents, through over-much indulgency, should let them alone: instance the two impious children of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas: and the two rebellious children of429 David, Absalom, and Adonijah.
- 429. 1 Sam‸ 2:‸34. 2 Sam‸ 18:‸9. 1 Kgs 2:‸25.
This therefore addeth force to the ſecond reaſon, and moueth children to doe right to their parents, by obeying them, as they reſpect God, his good pleaſure, or diſpleaſure: as they looke for recompence, or feare vengeance from him.
This therefore addeth force to the second reason, and moveth children to do right to their parents, by obeying them, as they respect God, his good pleasure, or displeasure: as they look for recompense, or fear vengeance from him.
§. 62. Of Gods charge, how inuiolable a bond it is to tie children to obey their parents.
§. 62. Of God’s charge, how inviolable a bond it is to tie children to obey their parents.
III. The third drawne from Gods charge is not only in expreſſe termes noted, but for more weight the very words of the morall law are quoted (Honour thy father and thy mother:) and it is added, that this is a commandement, yea the firſt commandement, and that with promiſe, all which is for amplification of the point.
III. The third drawn from God’s charge is not only in express terms noted, but for more weight the very words of the moral law are quoted (honour thy father and thy mother:) and it is added, that this is a commandment, yea the first commandment, and that with promise, all which is for amplification of the point.
Here then conſider we 1. The reaſon it ſelfe.
2. The amplification thereof.
Here then consider we
- ‸ The reason it self.
- ‸ The amplification thereof.
From the reaſon that it is Gods charge, I gather theſe three points.
From the reason that it is God’s charge, I gather these three points.
1. That it is no arbitrary matter left to childrens diſcretion432 whether they will obey their parents or no: but a matter whereunto in conſcience they are bound, euen as they owe alleageance to God himſelfe the great law-giuer: ſo as in neglecting dutie to parents, children ſinne euen againſt God himſelfe: for the ſame God who hath commanded vs to honour himſelfe, hath commanded vs to honour father and mother.
- 432. Childrens obedience to parents is, 1. No arbitrary thing.
1. That it is no arbitrary matter left to children’s discretion430 whether they will obey their parents or no: but a matter whereunto in conscience they are bound, even as they owe allegiance to God himself the great law-giver: so as in neglecting duty to parents, children sin even against God himself: for the same God who hath commanded us to honour himself, hath commanded us to honour father and mother.
- 430. Children’s obedience to parents is, 1. No arbitrary thing.
2. That this is a perpetuall and a generall law: a law whereunto433 all children of all times, places, ſexes, eſtates and degrees alwaies haue beene, ſtill are, and euer ſhall be bound. For the morall law is of that extent: it is generall for all perſons: perpetuall for all times. Therefore no children may thinke to be exempted from it.
- 433. 2. An eternall law, and generall to all children.
2. That this is a perpetual and a general law: a law whereunto431 all children of all times, places, sexes, estates and degrees always have been, still are, and ever shall be bound. For the moral law is of that extent: it is general for all persons: perpetual for all times. Therefore no children may think to be exempted from it.
- 431. 2. An eternal law, and general to all children.
Queſt. What if children be growne to yeeres, and not vnder their parents gouernment?
Quest. What if children be grown to years, and not under their parents government?
Anſw. There may be ſome difference both in ſome parts of ſubiection, and alſo in the manner of ſubiection betwixt ſuch children as remaine vnder their parents gouernment, and ſuch as are freed from it: but yet ſo long as a childe hath a parent, of what age or eſtate ſo euer he be, he oweth an honour vnto his parent.434 Ioſeph when he was a great Gouernour of Egypt, a man growne, hauing wife and children, yet performed the honour of reuerence, obedience, and recompence vnto his father.435 Salomon when he was in an higher place then Ioſeph, euen an abſolute King, did the honour of Reuerence to his mother.
Answ. There may be some difference both in some parts of subjection, and also in the manner of subjection betwixt such children as remain under their parents government, and such as are freed from it: but yet so long as a child hath a parent, of what age or estate so ever he be, he oweth an honour unto his parent. Joseph432 when he was a great Governor of Egypt, a man grown, having wife and children, yet performed the honour of reverence, obedience, and recompense unto his father. Solomon433 when he was in an higher place then Joseph, even an absolute King, did the honour of reverence to his mother.
3. That no man can giue children any diſpenſation, or ex p. 494 emption from their dutie to parents. If any may, he muſt be either the law-maker himſelfe, or one greater then he, one that hath power ouer him. Now God is the author and giuer of that law, God ſpake all theſe words, &c. But is any greater then436 God? hath any power ouer him? Who then can diſpence with children in this kinde?
- 436. Exo. 20. 1. [moved in the edition]
3. That no man can give children any dispensation, or exemption from their duty to parents. If any may, he must be either the law-maker himself, or one greater then he, one that hath power over him. Now God is the author and giver of that law, God spake all these words, etc‸.434 But is any greater then God? Hath any power over him? Who then can dispense with children in this kind?
- 434. Exod 20:‸1. [moved here by the editor]
Hence then I inferre theſe two concluſions.
Hence then I infer these two conclusions.
1. That the Popes diſpenſation is nothing worth: they who make it to be of force, muſt make him greater then God, which is a horrible blaſphemy.
1. That the Popes dispensation is nothing worth: they who make it to be of force, must make him greater then God, which is a horrible blasphemy.
2. Though parents themſelues ſhould not exact dutie of their children, yet children were bound to performe dutie to them, becauſe of Gods charge. To this therefore are children to looke. This ſheweth that there is no leſſe paine hanging ouer the heads of the tranſgreſſors of this charge, then the curſe of the law, eternall condemnation.
2. Though parents themselves should not exact duty of their children, yet children were bound to perform duty to them, because of God’s charge. To this therefore are children to look. This showeth that there is no less pain hanging over the heads of the transgressors of this charge, then the curse of the law, eternal condemnation.
§. 63. Of the title FIRST giuen to the fift commandement.
§. 63. Of the title FIRST given to the fifth commandment.
In the amplification of the forenamed reaſon, the Apoſtle ſtileth the commandement of honouring parents the firſt with promiſe, as to ſhew that it is the firſt which hath a particular promiſe annexed to it; ſo it is the firſt that God gaue of any dutie to be performed vnto man. The very order of the decalogue manifeſteth the truth hereof. The reaſon is cleere: Honour due to parents is the ground of all the duties required in the ſecond table: for if dutie be not performed to ſuch as we are bound vnto by ſome peculiar bond, may we thinke that it will be performed to ſuch as we are bound vnto at large? Now of all to whom we are firſt and moſt bound, and to whom we owe our firſt dutie, our parents are the perſons. They therefore who are rebellious againſt their parents, and refuſe to doe their dutie to them, will hardly performe dutie to any other. Little hope that a diſobedient childe will proue a profitable member in Church or common-wealth. Abſolom, who was a rebellious childe, proued but a traiterous ſubiect: and Hophni and Phineas that refuſed to hearken to the voice of their father, proued but ſacrilegious Prieſts. Wherefore if any precept of the ſecond table be conſcionably to be obſerued (as all are, for the ſame law-maker gaue all, and Chriſt hath ſaid that p. 495 the ſecond table is like the firſt) then is this of honouring father437 and mother, among the reſt, and aboue the reſt to be obſerued, at leaſt if difference of obſeruing any may be made,
- 437. Mat. 22. 39. [moved in the edition]
In the amplification of the forenamed reason, the Apostle styleth the commandment of honouring parents the first with promise, as to show that it is the first which hath a particular promise annexed to it; so it is the first that God gave of any duty to be performed unto man. The very order of the decalogue manifesteth the truth hereof. The reason is clear: honour due to parents is the ground of all the duties required in the second table: for if duty be not performed to such as we are bound unto by some peculiar bond, may we think that it will be performed to such as we are bound unto at large? Now of all to whom we are first and most bound, and to whom we owe our first duty, our parents are the persons. They therefore who are rebellious against their parents, and refuse to do their duty to them, will hardly perform duty to any other. Little hope that a disobedient child will prove a profitable member in Church or common-wealth. Absalom, who was a rebellious child, proved but a traitorous subject: and Hophni and Phinehas that refused to hearken to the voice of their father, proved but sacrilegious Priests. Wherefore if any precept of the second table be conscionably to be observed (as all are, for the same law-maker gave all, and Christ hath said that the second table is like the first)435 then is this of honouring father and mother, among the rest, and above the rest to be observed, at least if difference of observing any may be made.
- 435. Matt 22:‸39. [moved here by the editor]
But this particle (firſt) being ſet downe, not ſimply but with a connexion of promiſe with it (The firſt with promiſe) we are duly to conſider the promiſe thereof: whence a fourth reaſon ariſeth.
But this particle (first) being set down, not simply but with a connection of promise with it (The first with promise) we are duly to consider the promise thereof: whence a fourth reason ariseth.
§. 64. Of Gods promiſe mouing children to obey their parents.
§. 64. Of God’s promise moving children to obey their parents.
The fourth reaſon taken from Gods promiſe, is both generally propounded and particularly exemplified. Propounded in this clauſe (firſt with promiſe.) Exemplified in the third verſe.
The fourth reason taken from God’s promise, is both generally propounded and particularly exemplified. Propounded in this clause (first with promise.) Exemplified in the third verse.
For the Generall. Gods promiſe made to the performance of any duty, cannot but be a ſtrong motiue to ſtirre vs vp to performe it. Men hereby doe ſtirre vp, and prouoke one another438 to performe any thing. Thus Kings when they would faine haue their ſubiects doe this or that, promiſe ſuch and ſuch rewards vnto them: Thus maſters incite their ſeruants, parents their children, and one man another. If the promiſes of men incourage vs to performe the things which they giue vs in charge, how much more ought the promiſe of God? Men439 are deceitfull, and may deale doubly, pretending one thing with their mouthes, and intending another with their heart, and neuer meane to performe what they promiſe: But God is faithfull and true: his words are as deeds: his promiſes as performances; ſo as he neuer maketh ſhew of more then he means to performe. Againe, mans power is limited; though he truly intend what he promiſeth, yet in the performance he may faile either in that he knew not his owne power, but thought when he made the promiſe he could haue done more then in the euent he findeth he can doe; or in that he is after wards by ſome occaſion hindered, or diſabled. But Gods power cannot be ſo straitned, or hindered. Beſides, men may be taken away before thetime of performing their promiſe is come: but God euer liveth, and changeth not. If then mans promiſes be any moues to any thing, much more Gods who euer remaineth the same. Betwixt God and man there is no proportion, no compariſon.440
For the general. God’s promise made to the performance of any duty, cannot but be a strong motive to stir us up to perform it. Men hereby do stir up, and provoke one another436 to perform any thing. Thus Kings when they would fain have their subjects do this or that, promise such and such rewards unto them: Thus masters incite their servants, parents their children, and one man another. If the promises of men encourage us to perform the things which they give us in charge, how much more ought the promise of God? Men437 are deceitful, and may deal doubly, pretending one thing with their mouths, and intending another with their heart, and never mean to perform what they promise: But God is faithful and true: his words are as deeds: his promises as performances; so as he never maketh show of more then he means to perform. Again, man’s power is limited; though he truly intend what he promiseth, yet in the performance he may fail either in that he knew not his own power, but thought when he made the promise he could have done more then in the event he findeth he can do; or in that he is afterwards by some occasion hindered, or disabled. But God’s power cannot be so straitened, or hindered. Besides, men may be taken away before the time of performing their promise is come: but God ever liveth, and changeth not. If then man’s promises be any moves to any thing, much more God’s who ever remaineth the same. Betwixt God and man there is no proportion, no comparison.438
This motiue doth exceedingly commend Gods fatherly p. 496 indulgencie towards vs, and the earneſt deſire he hath of our good. For he hath ſuch power and authoritie ouer all his creatures, that the very knowledge of his will ought to prouoke them to performe any dutie which he ſhall command: and if they obey not, he might preſently execute vengeance vpon them. But conſidering that we are his children, and need many allurements to draw vs on by little and little, he accordingly dealeth with vs. He ſtandeth not wholly and only vpon his authoritie, but addeth promiſes thereto: (for this is a commandement with promiſe.) If notwithſtanding all this, children refuſe to obey their parents, may not the Lord iuſtly expoſtulate the matter with them, as ſometimes in another caſe he did with the Iſraelites, and ſay, Iudge betweene me and theſe children:441 what could I haue done more that I haue not done? I gaue them an expreſſe charge to honour their parents: I laid it downe in the firſt place as a maine and principall charge: to incourage them to keepe it, I added a promiſe of good to redound to themſelues: what could I doe more? Doe not they iustly deſerue vengeance that regard none of theſe? Thus, in that this is a commandement with promiſe, we ſee how children diſobedient to their parents are both rebellious againſt God in regard of the commandement which they tranſgreſſe, and iniurious to themſelues in regard of the promiſe which they make to be void and of no effect. Of this particular promiſe ſee more in the firſt treatiſe, §. 97, 98, &c.
- 441. Iſa. 5. 3, 4.
This motive doth exceedingly commend God’s fatherly indulgency towards us, and the earnest desire he hath of our good. For he hath such power and authority over all his creatures, that the very knowledge of his will ought to provoke them to perform any duty which he shall command: and if they obey not, he might presently execute vengeance upon them. But considering that we are his children, and need many allurements to draw us on by little and little, he accordingly dealeth with us. He standeth not wholly and only upon his authority, but addeth promises thereto: (for this is a commandment with promise.) If notwithstanding all this, children refuse to obey their parents, may not the Lord justly expostulate the matter with them, as sometimes in another case he did with the Israelites, and say, Judge between me and these children:439 what could I have done more that I have not done? I gave them an express charge to honour their parents: I laid it down in the first place as a main and principal charge: to encourage them to keep it, I added a promise of good to redound to themselves: what could I do more? Do not they justly deserve vengeance that regard none of these? Thus, in that this is a commandment with promise, we see how children disobedient to their parents are both rebellious against God in regard of the commandment which they transgress, and injurious to themselves in regard of the promise which they make to be void and of no effect. Of this particular promise see more in the first treatise, §. 97, 98, etc‸.
- 439. Isa‸ 5:‸3, 4.