Parents Loving, Praying, and Providing for Children

EPHES. 6. 4. And ye Fathers prouoke not your children to wrath, but bring them vp in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

NExt to childrens, follow Parents duties, which the Apoſtle layeth down in this fourth verſe: where he noteth,

• 1. The duties
• 2. The parties
  • 1. That are to performe the duties, Fathers.
  • 2. To whom they are to be performed, Children.

The duties are ſet downe, 1. By prohibition.

2. By precept.

The prohibition noteth out one extreme, which is ouermuch rigour, (Prouoke not to wrath)

The inference of the precept vpon the prohibition noteth out another extreme, which is ouer-much-remiſneſſe.

The precept it ſelfe enioyneth to parents three duties.

• 1. To nouriſh children, namely with food, apparrell, and other like neceſſaries (Nouriſh them.)
• 2. To nurture them, namely with good diſcipline (In nurture.)

p. 498 3. To inſtruct them, namely in the waies of God (And admonition of the Lord.)

Nature teacheth Vnreaſonable Creatures to doe the Firſt

Ciuility Reaſonable Men Second

Piety Chriſtians Third.

To theſe heads may all the ſeuerall points which I ſhall deliuer concerning parents duties, be referred.

That Parents may the better diſcerne how one dutie followeth another, I will proceed in this order.

1. The fountaine of all duties, ſhall be declared.

2. The ſtreames that iſſue thence,

The ſtreames ſhall be diuided into two riuers.

In the firſt are thoſe generall duties that are continually to be done.

In the ſecond, ſuch particular duties as are to be applied to the ſeuerall ages of children.

There are two principall generall duties.

• 1. Faithfull prayer to God.
• 2. Vpright walking with God.

All the particulars may be compriſed vnder this one head, A prouident care. And this hath reſpect,

• 1. To the Infancy of children,
• 2. To their Youth,
• 3. To the time of their placing forth,
• 4. To the time of parents departing out of this world.

The Fountaine of parents duties is Loue.⁴⁴² This is expreſly enioyned to them. Many approued examples are recorded hereof: as⁴⁴³ Abrahams,⁴⁴⁴ Iſaacks,⁴⁴⁵ Rebekahs, and others.

1. 442. Tit. 2. 4.
2. 443. Gen. 22. 2. [moved in the edition]
3. 444. & 25. 28. [moved in the edition]
4. 445. Ibid. [moved in the edition]

Great reaſon there is why this affection ſhould be faſt fixed in the heart of parents towards their children. For great is that paine, paines, coſt, and care, which parents muſt vndergoe p. 499 for their children. But if loue be in them, no paine, paines, coſt, or care, will ſeeme too much. Herein appeareth the wiſe prouidence of God, who by nature hath ſo faſt fixed loue in the hearts of parents, as if there be any in whom it aboundeth not, he is counted vnnaturall. If loue did not abound in parents, many children would be neglected and loſt. For if parents look not to their children, who will? If none looke to them, they muſt needs periſh: for they are not able to helpe themſelues. As God by nature hath planted loue in all parents, ſo Chriſtians ought euen for conſcience ſake, to nouriſh, increaſe, and blow vp this fire of loue, that they may thereby be made more forward to doe euery duty with cheerefulneſſe. The more feruent loue is, the more readily will euery duty be performed.⁴⁴⁶

1. 446. As I haue heretofore laid downe Loue a fountaine of wiues, husbands, and childrens duties; ſo muſt I continue my courſe, and ſet it forth as the fountaine of parents duties. For the Scripture hath noted it as a dutie belonging to all and euery of them: and therefore I might not omit it in any of them. Yet let not any thereupon thinke, that the ſame point is oft handled, and repeated againe and againe. For according to the ſeuerall parties, and the ſeuerall relation they haue to others, there are ſeuerall fruits of loue: euen as the ſame moiſture of the earth cauſeth ſeuerall and diuers fruits, according to the ſeuerall kindes of plants that receiue that moiſture. Compare the ſeuerall places, where this generall duty of loue hath beene handled, and you will finde the manner of handling to be different, and to afford new matter.

Anſw. True. Wherefore as in other things, ſo in this, the golden meane muſt be kept. No dutie ſo holy and neceſſarie, but may be peruerted. Let the extremes be auoided, and the meane will better be kept.

The extreme contrary to loue in the defect is want of naturall⁴⁴⁷ affection, which is reckoned in the⁴⁴⁸ catalogue of notorious sinnes. Though loue of children be by nature engrauen in mans heart, yet many cleane put it out through couetouſneſſe, luſt, vaine-glory, ſuperſtition, idolatry, and other vices: whereby it commeth to paſſe that in ſtead of the good which they should doe for their children, they bring much miſchiefe vpon them. Some ſpare not the pretious life of their children. p. 500 Among theſe, barbarous idolaters doe moſt exceed in this kinde of vnnaturall cruelty, ſacrificing their children, and offering them vp to deuils. To this the great bloud-sucker Satan of old brought not only the heathen, who being ignorant of God did ſeruice to the diuell, but alſo the⁴⁴⁹ Iſraelites to whom Iehouah the true God made himſelfe knowne, and expreſly⁴⁵⁰ forbid this cruelty, and that⁴⁵¹ vnder paine of death. Behold how ſuperſtition and idolatry blinde the eies of men.⁴⁵² They who haue beene among the Sauadges in Virginea, Florida, India, and other like places teſtifie that ſuch cruelty is vſed to this day. And it is rendred as a maine reaſon why, notwithſtanding ſuch ſpacious places as they haue, they increaſe no more in multitude, becauſe many of their children from time to time are offered vp in ſacrifice.

1. 447. Want of naturall affection in parents.
2. 448. Rom. 1. 30. Tit. 3. 3.
3. 449. 2 King. 16. 3. & 21. 6. Ezek. 16. 20.
4. 450. Leu. 18. 21.
5. 451. & 20. 2.
6. 452. Purc. Pilgr. in Americ. cap. 7. & cap. 11.

Reaſonable men herein ſhew themſelues more vnreaſonable then vnreaſonable beaſts, which doe what poſſibly they can to preſerue their young ones.

Though not ſo high, yet too high on this ladder of vnnaturalneſſe⁴⁵³ doe they climbe, who hate their children, and that (which maketh the ſin to be out of meaſure ſinful) for piety and integrity; as many Popiſh and profane parents, who haue children truly religious: and in that reſpect ought ſo much the more to be loued.

1. 453. Haters of children for piety.

The extreme in the exceſſe is too much doting vpon children:⁴⁵⁴ as they doe who ſo vnmeaſurably loue them, as they make reckoning of nothing in compariſon of children. Euen God himſelfe is lightly eſteemed, his worſhip neglected, his word tranſgreſſed, all dutie to others omitted, their owne ſoules forgotten thorow care of children. Is not this meere apiſh kindneſſe? for Apes kill their young ones with hugging. This is no loue, but plaine dotage. But what may be ſaid of thoſe that are ſo helliſhly enamoured with their children as to commit inceſt or buggery with them?

1. 454. Doting on children.

The firſt and beſt ſtreame which iſſueth out of the forenamed fountaine of loue is faithfull and feruent prayer. This extendeth it ſelfe to all things, at all times, thorowout the whole courſe of the childes life. It is the firſt and it is the laſt p. 501 dutie which parents ought to performe to their children:⁴⁵⁵ euen that which they muſt doe without intermiſſion; Pray without ceaſing.

1. 455. 1 Theſ 5. 17. ἀδιαλείπτως.

Though praier be a generall dutie which all Chriſtians owe⁴⁵⁶ one to another, yet after a peculiar manner doth it appertaine to parents: and of all others they are moſt bound to it. For the promiſe which God maketh to a parent is extended to his ſeed and children, as theſe and ſuch like Scriptures ſhew,⁴⁵⁷ I will be thy God, and the God of thy ſeed:⁴⁵⁸ That it may be well with them and with their children:⁴⁵⁹ The promiſe is vnto you, and vnto your children. Parents therefore with moſt aſſurance of faith may call vpon God for their children. For Gods promiſe is the ground of faith: ſo farre as Gods promiſe is extended, ſo farre our faith may and ought to extend it ſelfe. Hence hath ariſen the commendable cuſtome of childrens asking⁴⁶⁰ their parents bleſſing: which intimateth a deſire that parents would pray for Gods bleſſing on them.

1. 456. Praier a peculiar dutie of parents.
2. 457. Gen. 17. 7. [moved in the edition]
3. 458. Deut. 5. 29. [moved in the edition]
4. 459. Act. 2. 39. [moved in the edition]
5. 460. Treat 5. §. 9.

This dutie of praier muſt be performed before parents haue children (that they may haue ſome, as⁴⁶¹ Iſaak,⁴⁶² Annah and others did⁴⁶³) and ſo ſoone as children are conceiued, eſpecially if they obſerue them to be quicke in the wombe (as⁴⁶⁴ Rebekah did) and againe when they are borne (as⁴⁶⁵ Zachariah did) and thorowout the whole courſe of their life (as⁴⁶⁶ Iob did) and when they are going out of this world, and leauing their children (as⁴⁶⁷ Iſaak did.)

1. 461. Gen. 25. 21. [moved in the edition]
2. 462. 1 Sam. 1. 10. Paulam antè votis quàm vtero concepiſti. Hier. ad 1 aet. [moved in the edition]
3. 463. Gen. 25. 21.
4. 464. Gen. 25. 22. [moved in the edition]
5. 465. Luk. 1. 64. [moved in the edition]
6. 466. Iob. 1. 5. [moved in the edition]
7. 467. Gen. 27. 4. [moved in the edition]

There is no one thing wherein and whereby parents may doe more good for their children, then in and by true praier. God hath ſanctified praier as a meanes to receiue all needfull bleſſing from himſelfe the fountaine of all bleſſing. If therefore Gods bleſſing be of vſe to children (what Atheiſts are they that beleeue it not?) then alſo is praier by which it is obtained.

The very neglect of this dutie is a ſinne contrary to the dutie⁴⁶⁸ it ſelfe: and many parents there be that ſtand guilty of this ſinne. Some thinke it needleſſe to pray for a childe before it be borne, not conſidering that in ſinne it is conceiued. When it is borne they referre this dutie to the midwife, whereas it p. 502 properly appertaineth to the father. After it is growne to any ripeneſſe, they put it off to the childe to pray for it ſelfe. And when they are on their death-bed, they thinke it enough if they can pray for their owne ſoules. Such parents ſhew little true loue to their children: but leſſe faith in God.

1. 468. Parents neglect of praier.

But what may we ſay or thinke of ſuch impious parents as⁴⁶⁹ feare not to make fearefull imprecations againſt their children? God oft in wrath and vengeance heareth ſuch imprecations to the woe of parent and childe: whereby he ſheweth his great indignation againſt them for the ſame.

1. 469. Parents imprecations againſt children.

Another generall branch proceeding from parents loue to their children, is, that for their childrens ſake they endeauour to walke vprightly before God, and to pleaſe him. This I doe the rather note, becauſe I finde the reward promiſed to righteous parents to be extended vnto their children⁴⁷⁰ The generation of the righteous ſhall be bleſſed, ſaith Dauid. And Salomon,⁴⁷¹ Bleſſed ſhall his children be after him: and againe,⁴⁷² The good man ſhall giue inheritance vnto his childrens children.⁴⁷³ This motiue is therefore vrged by the holy Ghoſt to prouoke parents vnto all righteouſneſſe.

1. 470. Pſal. 1. 12. 2. [moved in the edition]
2. 471. Pro. 20. 7. [moved in the edition]
3. 472. & 13. 22. [moved in the edition]
4. 473. Deut. 5. 29.

Thus doth the Lord extend the reward of righteous parents vnto their children to ſhew his great good liking, and high approbation of righteouſneſſe. Reade for this purpoſe, 1 King. 11. 34. & 2 King. 10. 30.

1. Obiect.⁴⁷⁴ The righteouſneſſe of the righteous ſhall be vpon himſelfe.

1. 474. Ezec. 18. 20. [moved in the edition]

Anſw. That is meant rather of a mans perſonall righteouſneſſe, and grace it ſelfe which is not communicated to children, then of the fruit thereof: That faith in Chriſt, feare of God, obedience to Gods word, or any other perſonall grace which is in righteous parents, ſhall not iuſtifie or ſaue their children. For the iuſt ſhall liue by his owne faith. Yet this hindereth⁴⁷⁵ not but that the benefit and bleſſing of righteous parents may fall vpon their children according to the extent of Gods promiſe.

1. 475. Hab. 2. 4. [moved in the edition]

2. Obiect. By experience we finde it verified, that the children p. 503 of ſome righteous parents are curſed: and the Scripture giueth vs many examples thereof: as⁴⁷⁶ Cain,⁴⁷⁷ Cham,⁴⁷⁸ Abſolom, and others like them.

1. 476. Gen. 4. 11. [moved in the edition]
2. 477. & 9. 25. [moved in the edition]
3. 478. 2 Sam. 18. 15. [moved in the edition]

1. Anſw. Such children by their vnworthy, and degenerat cariage make forfeiture of Gods couenant and⁴⁷⁹ ſo depriue themſelues of the benefit thereof.

1. 479. 1 Sam. 2. 30.

2. Anſw. Many good reaſons may be giuen why God ſhould ſometimes alter his courſe, and with-hold his bleſſings from the children of his ſeruants. As

1. Leſt Gods gifts and bleſſings ſhould otherwiſe ſeeme to come rather by naturall propagation from the parent, then by free donation from God.

2. Leſt parents ſhould thereby be drawne to neglect the meanes of good education.

3. Leſt children alſo themſelues, truſting too much to their parents righteouſneſſe, ſhould take too much liberty, and waxe licentious.

4. Leſt Gods free election ſhould ſeeme hereby to be reſtrained.

If this be ſo, what motiue can it be vnto parents to labour after righteouſneſſe for their childrens ſake?

Anſw. Though God doe reſerue in himſelfe a freedome to order his bleſſings as it pleaſeth him, and to beſtow them vpon whom he will: and thereupon ſometimes bleſſeth the childe of a wicked parent (inſtance⁴⁸⁰ Hezekiah) & denieth his bleſſing to the childe of a righteous parent (inſtance⁴⁸¹ Ammon) yet in that it is a very vſuall courſe with him to extend his bleſſing (according to his promiſe) to the children of the righteous, it is a ſtrong motiue to ſuch as deſire the good of their children, the rather for their childrens ſake to endeauour after righteouſneſſe: for thus doe they vſe the meanes which by Gods word is warranted and ſanctified for procuring Gods bleſſing to their children. Leaue therefore a good memory to thy children rather then much wealth.

1. 480. 2 Chr. 28. 27. [moved in the edition]
2. 481. 2 Sam. 13. 14, 29. Relinque bonam filijs memoriam magis quàm diuitias multas. Baſ ſerm. in Scrip. loc. [moved in the edition]

Contrary is the courſe of ſuch parents as by vnrighteous meanes thinke to prouide well for their children. For many p. 504 doe not only too carkingly, and diſtruſtfully moile and toile to ſcrape together great maſſes of money, or great ſtore of land, or other ſtockes for their children, neglecting duties of piety and mercy, but alſo by vniuſt and wrongfull courſes defraud others to make their children rich. So common is this vndue courſe of prouiding for children, as thence hath ariſen this prouerbe, Happy are thoſe children whoſe parents goe to the deuill. A curſed prouerbe. For what other thing can it intend, but this, that they who feare not God, nor take care for their owne ſaulation, will haue moſt reſpect to the outward eſtate of their children, and be moſt carefull to make them great, and rich in this world? Wherein note how many waies they bewray their notorious folly.

1. They preferre the outward eſtate of their children before the eternall ſaluation of their owne ſoules. Yea and before God himſelfe.

2. They place the happineſſe of their children in the goods of this world;⁴⁸² then which nothing more vaine.

1. 482. Pro. 23. 5.

3. They make themſelues drudges to their children, and ſo debaſe themſelues below that dignity which by reaſon of Gods image on them, appertaineth to them.

4. They with much paines, care, griefe, and feare are long gathering that which their children in ſhort time moſt riotouſly and prodigally will lauiſh out.

5. They make themſelues vaſſals to Satan and ſeeke by him to be made rich: whereas indeed⁴⁸³ it is the bleſſing of God that maketh rich. Thus they take a wrong courſe to get wealth. If it be ſaid that many are thus made rich, I anſwer, that as⁴⁸⁴ God gaue a King to Iſraell, ſo he giueth wealth to them, in wrath: and in wrath will he take it away.

1. 483. Tro. 10. 22. [moved in the edition]
2. 484. Hoſ. 13. 11. Ne liberos praetexas. Qui enim filium fecit, & te fecit: qui etiam tibi occaſiones nutriend praebet, & filio praebebit vitae ſubſidia. Baſil. loc. cit.

6. They bring Gods curſe into their houſe, and leaue it vnto their children: So as theſe are the riches that are reſerued to the owners thereof for their euill. Let not therefore care for children draw thee to any coueteous or vniuſt courſes: but know that he who made thy ſonne made thee alſo, and he who affoorded thee meanes of nouriſhment, will alſo affoord thy children ſufficient ſuccour.

The head, whereunto all the particular duties, which parents owe to their children, may be referred, is A prouident care for their childrens good. This extendeth it ſelfe to all times, and to all things.

1. 485. How farre parents prouidence extendeth it ſelfe.

To all times, as to the infancie, youth, and man-age of their children: and that not only while parents liue, but after their departure.

To all things, namely, tending both to the temporall good of their children, and alſo to their ſpirituall good.

Children are of the very ſubſtance of their parents, & therefore ought parents ſo farre to ſeeke their childrens good as their owne.

The patternes of holy parents recorded and commended in Scripture, doe liuely ſet forth this prouident care.

But this generall we will exemplifie in the particulars: and in order declare how parents muſt prouide both for the temporall, and alſo for the ſpirituall good of their children in euery degree of their age.

They who at any time in any thing are negligent and careleſſe of their childrens good, offend in the contrary to this generall dutie. The heinouſneſſe of which offences will appeare in the particulars.

The firſt age of a childe is the infancie thereof. I will therefore firſt ſhew how therein parents muſt procure the temporall good of their children, and then their ſpirituall good.

The firſt part of a childs infancie is while it remaineth in the mothers wombe. Here therefore the dutie lieth principally vpon the mother: who ſo ſoone as ſhe perceiueth a childe to be conceiued in her wombe, ought to haue an eſpeciall care thereof, that (ſo much as in her lieth) the childe may be ſafely brought forth. (⁴⁸⁶ The heathen Philoſophen, by light of nature, obſerued this to be a dutie; and preſcribed it to mothers.) A mother then muſt haue a tender care ouer her ſelfe when ſhee is with childe: for the childe being lodged in her, and receiuing nouriſhment from her (as plants from the earth) her well-being tendeth much to the good and ſafetie of the childe: but the hurt that commeth to her, maketh the childe the worſe, if it be not a meanes to deſtroy it. p. 506 Why was the charge of⁴⁸⁷ abſtaining from wine, ſtrong drinke, and vncleane things, giuen to Manoahs wife, but becauſe of the childe which ſhe conceiued?

1. 486. Grauidae corpora curare debent. Mens item earum quietem deſiderat. Quae enim procreantur à matre in cuius aluo continentur, alimentum capiunt, vt à terra ea-quae gignantur ex ea. Ariſt. Pol. lib. 7. [moved in the edition]
2. 487. Iudg. 13. 4. [moved in the edition]

In this caſe there is a double bond to make mothers carefull of themſelues.

• 1. Their owne,
• 2. Their childs good.

Husbands alſo in this caſe muſt be very tender ouer their wiues, and helpfull to them in all things needfull, both in regard of that dutie which they owe to their wiues, and alſo of that they⁴⁸⁸ owe to their children. Why was Manoah ſo deſirous to heare himſelfe the forenamed direction which the Angell gaue to his wife? and why did the Angell againe repeat it to him, but to ſhew it belonged to him to ſee her obſerue it?

1. 488. Iudg. 13. 11, &c.

They who through violence of paſſion, whether of griefe, or⁴⁸⁹ anger, or through violent motion of the bodie, as by dancing, ſtriuing,⁴⁹⁰ running, galloping on horſebacke, or the like: or through diſtemper of the bodie, by eating things hurtfull, by eating too much, by too much abſtinence, by too much baſhfulneſſe in concealing their deſires and longings (as we ſpeake) cauſe any abortion or miſcariage, fall into the offence contrary to the forenamed dutie. If women were perſwaded that in conſcience they are bound to the forenamed dutie, they would, I thinke, be more carefull of themſelues. For if through their default, they themſelues or their childe miſcarry, they make themſelues guilty of that miſcariage: if both miſcarry, they make themſelues guiltie of the bloud of both; at leaſt in the court of conſcience before God.

1. 489. Contrary.
2. 490. 1. To miſcarry through negligence.

But they who purpoſely take things to make away their children⁴⁹¹ in their wombe, are in farre higher degree guiltie of bloud: yea euen of wilfull murther. For that which hath receiued a ſoule formed in it by God, if it be vniuſtly caſt away, ſhall be reuenged.

1. 491. 2. To make away a childe in the wombe. Omne quod formatam animam à Deo accepit vindie abitur ſi iniuſlè interimatur. Conſtit. Apoſt. l. 7. c. 4.

So farre forth as husbands are careleſſe of their wiues being with childe, denying them things needfull, they are acceſſarie to the hurt, which the woman, or childe taketh, guiltie of the ſin, and liable to the iudgement.

The next degree of a childs infancie, is while it is in the ſwadling p. 507 bands, and remaineth a ſucking childe. In this alſo the care eſpecially lieth vpon the mother: yet ſo as the father muſt afford what helpe he can.

The firſt dutie here required is, that ſufficient prouiſion of all things needfull for a childe in that weakneſſe be before hand prouided. What the particulars be, women better know, then I can expreſſe. For me, it is ſufficient, to lay downe the dutie in generall: which is commended vnto vs in that worthy patterne of the Virgin Marie, who though ſhe were very poore, and forced to trauell farre, and brought to bed in a ſtrange place, where ſhe was ſo little reſpected, as ſhe was not afforded a place meet for a woman in her caſe, but was faine to content her ſelfe with a ſtable in a common Inne, yet ſhe prouided for her childe. For it is ſaid, She wrapped him in ſwadling clothes, Luk 2. 7.

Contrary is the practiſe of ſuch lewd and vnnaturall women, as leaue their new-borne children vnder ſtalls, at mens doores, in Church porches, yea many times in open field. It is noted as a point of vnnaturalneſſe in the Oſtrich, to leaue her eggs in the earth, and in the duſt: in which reſpect ſhe is ſaid to be hardned againſt her young ones, as though they were not hers, Iob 39. 14, 16. Much more hardned are the foreſaid lewd women. The Eagle is⁴⁹² counted an vnnaturall bird, becauſe ſhe thruſteth her young ones, which ſhe hath brought forth, out of her neſt. Are not then ſuch mothers much more vnnaturall? They oft lay their children forth in publike places, for others to ſhew that mercy, which they themſelues haue not. The Ciuill Law iudgeth this to be a kinde of further.

1. 492. Iniquiffima volucris Aquila dicitur, quiae taedio nutriendi pullum quem genuit, ipſa fugat. Tales parentes ij ſunt, qui liberos ſuos infantes exponunt. Baſil. Hexam. hom. 8. Necare videtur qui partum abijcit, & qui publicis locis miſericordiae cauſa, quam ipſe non habet, exponit. Digeſt. l, 25. tit. 3. §. 4. 1 Pet. 2. 2.

Among other needfull things, the milke of the breaſt is fit for young babes, and with it they are to be nouriſhed. I thinke none doubt of the equitie of this. It hath in all ages, and in all countries, beene accounted the beſtfood that can be for young babes. The metaphor, which S. Peter vſeth, taken from young infants in theſe words, As new-borne babes deſire the ſincere milke of the word) confirmeth as much. So doth alſo the deſire which ſuch infants haue to the milke of the breaſts: and the abilitie, and promptneſſe which is in them to ſucke: and Gods prouidence in cauſing a womans breaſts to yeeld forth ſuch milke: and the conſtant p. 508 manner of nouriſhing little infants after this manner, commended in the Scriptures: and (to conclude) the naturall inſtinct which many vnreaſonable creatures haue thus to nouriſh their young ones.

They who on meere curioſitie (where no vrgent neceſſitie requireth) try whether their children may not as birds be nouriſhed without ſucke, offend contrary to this dutie; and reiect that meanes which God hath ordained as the beſt: and ſo oppoſe their ſhallow wit to his vnſearchable wiſdome.

Of nouriſhing children with breſt-milke, there is no great queſtion: therefore I haue with a touch paſſed it ouer. The chiefeſt queſtion of doubt is concerning the partie who is bound to this dutie; namely, whether the mother be bound to doe it her ſelfe or no.

Many ſtrong arguments there be to preſſe it vpon the conſciences⁴⁹³ of mothers, and to ſhew that (ſo farre as they are able) they are bound to giue ſucke to their owne children. Some are taken from the light of Gods word; and ſome from the light of nature.

1. 493. Poſtquam ablactaueris cam, &c. dixit Hier. ad Laetam de filia ſua.

Gods word doth in many places by iuſt conſequence imply, that it is a bounden dutie: in other places it doth expreſly commend it by the practiſe of holy women: and againe in other places it taketh it for a granted truth, and ruled caſe, not to be denied.

1. The conſequences whereby the word implieth this dutie are theſe:

1. In the bleſſing giuen to Ioſeph thus ſpeaketh old Iaakob, God ſhall bleſſe thee with the bleſſing of the breaſts, and of the⁴⁹⁴ wombe. By the bleſſing of the wombe, what can be meant, but children? By the bleſſing of the breaſts, what, but milke, whereby thoſe children are nouriſhed? As if he had ſaid; I will bleſſe thee with ſuch women, as ſhall both beare thee children, and alſo giue ſucke to them which they beare. The conſequence then is this: As it is a bleſſing to haue children of a true lawfull wife; ſo to haue thoſe children nurſed of the ſame wife their mother.

1. 494. Gen. 49. 25.

Anſw. By the ſame reaſon it may be ſaid, they haue the bleſſing p. 509 of the wombe who haue ſtrange women to beare them children. But the ioyning of theſe two branches of bleſſing together, ſheweth that both muſt be taken in the ſame kinde: ſo that as the bleſſing of the wombe is to haue children of a mans wife, ſo the bleſſing of the breaſts is to haue them nurſed of his wife. If it be a bleſſing for the woman which beareth the childe to giue it ſucke, then mothers are bound to performe this dutie.

2. It is denounced as a curſe, that women ſhall haue a barren⁴⁹⁵ wombe and drie breaſts. If it be a curſe for women to haue drie breaſts, then may not women wittingly make them drie: which all mothers doe, that giue not ſucke to their children.

1. 495. Oſe. 9. 14.

3. Manoahs wife being promiſed to beare a ſonne, had this charge giuen her, Drinke no wine, nor ſtrong drinke. &c. thoſe things were eſpecially hurtfull for her milke. It is therefore implied thereby, that ſhe ſhould ſo order her diet, as ſhe might well nurſe her childe, and haue good milke for him.

4. God by his good prouidence brought it to paſſe, that the mother of Moſes (though ſhe were forced to caſt out her⁴⁹⁶ childe) ſhould nurſe her owne childe. Yea the mother her ſelfe was deſirous to doe it, and therefore appointed her daughter to watch who ſhould take it vp. Theſe two circumſtances implie that it appertaineth to a mother to nurſe her children.

1. 496. Exo. 2. 7, &c.

5. The Apoſtle layeth this downe as a note of a good woman,⁴⁹⁷ who in her place hath beene carefull to doe her dutie, and thereupon fit to doe ſeruice in Gods Church (If ſhe haue⁴⁹⁸ nouriſhed her children, or word for word, If ſhe haue fed her children.) Now the proper food for young babes is breaſt-milk, which, by the Apoſtles rule, the mother muſt giue.

1. 497. 1. Tim. 5. 10.
2. 498. εἰ ἐτεκνοτρόφησεν.

6. The ſame Apoſtle commandeth mothers to loue their⁴⁹⁹ children. How can a mother better expreſſe her loue to her young babe, then by letting it ſucke of her owne breaſts? As his is a teſtimony of loue, ſo it is a meanes of preſeruing and increaſing loue: for daily experience ſheweth that mothers loue thoſe children beſt to whom they themſelues giue ſucke.

1. 499. Tit. 2. 4.

Summe theſe ſeuerall conſequences together, and we shall finde the dutie in queſtion to be very ſtrongly inforced hereby.

• p. 510 1. As a bleſſing it is promiſed, that mothers ſhall giue ſucke to the children that they beare.
• 2. As a curſe it is threatned, that women ſhall not be able to giue ſucke.
• 3. An Angell gaue direction to a mother ſo to carrie her ſelfe as ſhe might haue ſtore of good milke for the childe which ſhe ſhould beare.
• 4. God by his ſpeciall prouidence manifeſted that the proper mother was the beſt nurſe for a childe.
• 5. It is the note of a good woman to performe this part of her particular calling, namely to nurſe her owne childe.
• 6. Women ought to doe all the beſt duties of loue that they can to their children.

Therefore mothers ought to nurſe their owne children.

II. Some of the moſt worthy patternes, in whoſe example this dutie is commended to mothers, are theſe.

1. Sarah gaue ſucke to Iſaak. This example is to be noted⁵⁰⁰ eſpecially of the greater ſort: as rich mens wiues, honourable mens wiues, and the like. For Sarah was an honourable woman, a princeſſe, a rich mans wife, a beautifull woman, aged and well growne in yeeres, and a miſtreſſe of a family.

1. 500. Gen. 21. 7. [moved in the edition]

Are not theſe excuſes pretended by many mothers for not nurſing children themſelues?

2. The virgin Mary gaue ſucke to Ieſus. This example is to be noted eſpecially of the meaner ſort, for the virgin Man was young, poore, perſecuted, forced to remoue and flie with her childe from countrie to countrie. Are not theſe excuſes pretended by other mothers?

Theſe two patternes doe not only commend the duty, but alſo ſtrippe all mothers that are negligent therein, of all excuſe.

To theſe may be added the examples of⁵⁰¹ Annah, of⁵⁰² Dauids mother, and of many others. What if alſo I adde the example of that true, naturall, affectionate mother who ſtood before Salomons throne to plead for her childe? ſhe thus ſaith of her ſelfe,⁵⁰³ I aroſe to giue my ſonne ſucke, &c. If this had not beene a good motherly dutie, ſhe would not then and there haue pleaded it.

1. 501. 1 Sam. 1. 22. [moved in the edition]
2. 502. Pſal. 22. 9. [moved in the edition]
3. 503. 1 King. 3. 21. [moved in the edition]

p. 511 III. The places of Scripture which take this dutie for a matter granted, and for a ruled caſe, are ſuch as theſe.

1. Where Sarah ſaith, Who would haue ſaid to Abram that⁵⁰⁴ Sarah ſhould haue giuen children ſucke? In this phraſe ſhe ſetteth forth Gods bleſſing in giuing Abram a ſonne by her. Now in that ſhe expreſſeth the bleſſing vnder this phraſe of giuing ſucke, ſhe taketh it for grant, that the mother which beareth children muſt giue them ſucke.

1. 504. Gen. 21. 7.

2. Where Dauid ſaith, thou diddeſt make me hope vpon my⁵⁰⁵ mothers breaſts, he doth not onely imply that his mother gaue him ſucke, but by the phraſe maketh it a ruled caſe that the childe which ſuckes muſt hang vpon the mothers breaſt.

1. 505. Pſal. 22. 9.

3. Where Salomon ſaith, O that thou wert as my brother that⁵⁰⁶ ſucked the breaſts of my mother, he taketh if alſo for grant, that brothers and ſiſters, as they come out of the ſame wombe, ſo they ſhould ſucke the ſame breaſts, euen the breaſts of her out of whoſe wombe they came, their owne mothers breaſts.

1. 506. Cant. 8. 1.

4. Where the woman ſaid to Chriſt, Bleſſed is the wombe that⁵⁰⁷ bare thee, and the paps which thou haſt ſucked, ſhe taketh it for grant (as it was an vſuall practiſe in thoſe daies) that the paps of that woman, whoſe wombe beare him, gaue him⁵⁰⁸ sucke.

1. 507. Luk. 11. 27.
2. 508. Ipſa ſuggerit natura matribus ipſis lactandos eſſe ſuos foetus. Idoirco enim animanti enixae lactis alimentum omni praebuit▪ Sapiens verò etiam prouidentia mammas foeminis binas effinxit, &c. Plut. de Juſtit. lib. In ijs animantibus quae lacte aluntur, omnis ferè cibus lacteſcere incipit. Cic. de Nat. D.

Theſe arguments we haue from the light of Gods word: other we may haue from Gods workes and the light of nature, as

1. God hath giuen to women two breaſts fit to containe and hold milke: and nipples vnto them fit to haue milke drawne from them. Why are theſe thus giuen? to lay them forth for oſtentation? There is no warrant for that in all Gods word. They are directly giuen for the childs food that commeth out of the wombe; for till the childe be borne, there is no milke in the breaſts: anon after it is borne, milke ordinarily floweth into the breaſts: yea a great part of the meat which they eat turneth into milke. They make this admirable worke of Gods prouidence to be in vaine, that drie vp this ſpring, and ſuffer not their children to partake of the benefit of it.

2. That nouriſhment whereon the childe fed in the mothers wombe, and whereby it was there ſuſtained, turneth into p. 512 milke, and commeth into the breaſts when the childe commeth out of the wombe. Whence we may gather, that of all womens milke, that womans milke is fitteſt for the childe, out of whoſe wombe the childe came.

3. Together with the milke paſſeth ſome ſmacke of the⁵⁰⁹ affection and diſpoſition of the mother: which maketh mothers to loue ſuch children beſt as they haue giuen ſucke vnto: yea and oft times ſuch children as haue ſucked their mothers breaſts, loue their mothers beſt: yea we may obſerue many who haue ſucked others milke, to loue thoſe nurſes all the daies of their life.

1. 509. Mater Bernardi liberos ſuos alienis vberibus nutriendos committere refugiebat, quaſi cum lacte materno materni quodammodo boni infundens eis naturam. Guil. Abb. de vit. Bern. l. 1. c. 1.

4. Other things are nouriſhed by the ſame that they are bred. The earth out of which plants grow, miniſtreth nouriſhment to the ſaid plants: trees that bring forth fruit yeeld ſap to that fruit, whereby it groweth to ripeneſſe: vnreaſonable creatures, and among them the moſt ſauage wilde beaſts, as Tigers and Dragons, yea ſea-monſters giue ſucke to their young ones; whereupon the Prophet ſaith of women that giue not ſucke⁵¹⁰ to their Children, that they are more cruell then thoſe ſeamonſters, Like the Oſtriches in the wilderneſſe: for the cruell Oſtrich, and the hatefull Cucco are the two kinde of creatures which are noted to leaue their young ones for others to nouriſh; the Oſtrich leaueth her eggs in the duſt: the Cucco leaueth hers in other birds neſts. Other creatures (if nature afford them not milke and dugges, as to birds it doth not) feed their young ones other waies, yet by themſelues.

1. 510. Lam. 4. 3.

5. Shall I adde another argument which daily experience confirmeth, namely Gods bleſſing vpon this motherly dutie:⁵¹¹ commonly ſuch children as are nurſed by their mothers, proſper beſt. Mothers are moſt tender ouer them, and cannot indure to let them lie crying out, without taking them vp. and ſtilling them; as nurſes will let them crie and crie againe, if they be about any buſineſſe of their owne. For who are commonly choſen to be nurſes? euen poore countrie women which haue much worke to doe, and little helpe; and ſo are forced to let the childe lie and crie, many times till it burſt againe. Children nurſed by their mothers are for the moſt part more cleanly, and neatly brought vp, freer from diſeaſes; p. 513 not ſo many die; I am ſure not ſo many through negligence caſt away. The number of nurſe children that die euery yeere is very great. It hath beene obſerued in many countrie villages, that the moſt part, that from time to time die there, are nurſe children. Are not mothers that might haue nurſed their owne children if they would, acceſſary to the death of thoſe that are caſt away by the nurſes negligence?

1. 511. Matres maiore ſtudio & cura nutrient, nempe ex ipſis viſceribus diligunt liberos ſuos. Cum nutrices vtpote quae mercedem ament, charitatem praebeant ſubditiciam. Plut. de Inſtit. lib.

On theſe and other like reaſons heathen women, and very⁵¹² ſauages, haue in all ages beene moued to nurſe their owne children: and ſome heathen Philoſophers haue vrged and preſſed the neceſſitie of this dutie. Neuer was it more neglected, then among thoſe that beare the name of Chriſtians.

1. 512. Ariſt. Oecon. l. 2. c. 3. Plutarch. loc. citat. A. Gellius Noct. Attic. comment. li. 12. cap. 1.

Let mothers know of what ranke or degree ſo euer they be, that (out of the caſe of neceſſitie) they haue no warrant to put forth their children to others to nurſe. We read not in all the Scripture of any holy women that euer did it.

1. Anſw. Such nurſes mentioned in Scripture were commonly drie nurſes. Rebekahs nurſe went with her before ſhe was maried: how can it be thought that ſhe was a milch nurſe? Could they tell when Rebekah ſhould haue a childe? or when⁵¹⁴ he had one, that Deborah (the nurſe there mentioned) ſhould haue milke for her? It is ſaid that Naomi became nurſe to Ruths⁵¹⁵ childe: now Naomi was old, long before this ſhe was paſt child-bearing, without an husband for many yeeres: how then was it poſſible that ſhe ſhould giue ſucke? She was therefore a drie nurſe, as other nurſes mentioned in Scripture.

1. 513. Gen. 24. 59. 2 Sam. 4. 4. 2 King. 11. 2.
2. 514. Gen. 35. 8.
3. 515. Ruth 4. 16. & 1. 12.

2. Anſw. The mothers of thoſe children which are ſaid to haue nurſes (if thoſe nurſes were milch-nurſes) might be dead: or if liuing, not able to giue ſucke for want of milke, nipple, or for ſome other like defect: or if able, ſinne in putting forth their children.

3. Anſw. Though it be ſaid that there were nurſes, yet is no where ſaid, that a mother put forth her childe to ſucke.

p. 514 Anſw. She bare not this childe, nor was the naturall mother of it, ſo as this is nothing to the purpoſe. Yea it maketh againſt the obiectors, in that the true mother of this childe nurſed it.

1. 516. Exod. 2. 7.

1. Anſw. The vſing of a thing by way of compariſon and reſemblance doth not ſimply iuſtifie it: inſtance the parable of the vniuſt ſteward, and of a theefe.⁵¹⁸

1. 517. Num. 11. 12. 1 Theſ. 2. 7. [moved in the edition]
2. 518. Luke 16. 1. &c. Reu. 15. 16.

2. Anſw. The metaphor may be taken from a drie nurſe as well as a milch nurſe: for the compariſons are not vſed of giuing ſucke, but of bearing and carrying in armes, as drie nurſes vſe to carry children.

3. Anſw. The metaphors are moſt fitly taken from mothers that are nurſes to their owne children.

Anſw. Let them learne ſeeing it is their dutie.

1. Anſw. The greateſt that be muſt ſet themſelues to doe that duty which God requireth at their hands, though it be with paine and paines. Note Sarahs example before recorded.

2. Anſw. By this it appeareth, that if other women could beare their children in the wombe nine moneths, and endure the paine of trauell for them, they would hire them to doe it. But ſeeing they doe the one (namely beare and bring forth their owne children with hard labour) why ſhould they not doe the other? If they ſay there is an vnauoidable neceſſity of bearing and bringing forth their children; I anſwer, that conſcience ought to moue them to nurſe thoſe children, which neceſſity forceth them to bring forth. God by this latter of nurſing children maketh triall of women whether they will for conſcience ſake, doe that duty which they may if they will put off. But becauſe God knew that many will doe no more then neceſſity laieth vpon them, he hath made it a matter of p. 515 impoſſibility for women to beare and bring forth their children by another.

3. Anſw. If women would with cheerefulneſſe ſet themſelues to performe this duty, much of the ſuppoſed paine and paines would be leſſened.

4. Anſw. Though they put not forth their children to nurſe, they may for their eaſe entertaine a nurſe, ſo they giue ſucke themſelues.

Anſw. No outward buſineſſe appertaining to a mother can be more acceptable to God then the nurſing of her childe: this is the moſt proper worke of her ſpeciall calling, therefore all other buſineſſes muſt giue place to this, and this muſt not be left for any other buſineſſe.

As for the husbands ſauing by putting the childe forth to nurſe, no gaine may giue a diſpenſation againſt a bounden duty.

1. Anſw. Gods ordinance muſt not giue place to womens niceneſſe. Sarah was faire and old: The Virgin Mary was faire and young.

2. Anſw. Drying vp a womans milke will more breake her, then her childes ſucking of it: for it is a meanes both of better health, and alſo of greater ſtrength, as to beare children, ſo to giue them ſucke. Barren women and bearing women which put forth their children to ſucke, are moſt ſubiect to ſickneſſe and weakneſſe. The drawing forth of a womans milke by her childe is a meanes to get and preſerue a good ſtomach, which is a great preſeruatiue of good health.

1. Anſw. By this reaſon neither mothers nor other nurſes p. 516 which haue husbands, ſhould giue ſucke to children.

2. Anſw. Seeing children come from the loines of the father, as well as out of the wombe of the mother, they muſt be content to endure ſome diſturbance as well as their wiues, and ſo much the rather that they may the more pitty their wiues, and afford vnto them what helpe they can.

Anſw. Becauſe it is a bounden duty, wiues muſt vſe all the meanes they can by themſelues or others to perſwade their husbands to let them performe it: they muſt take heede that they make not this a pretext to couer their owne ſloth, and lothneſſe to this duty: they may not make themſelues acceſſarie to their husbands fault by prouiding a nurſe, and ſending the childe away themſelues: if their husbands will ſtand vpon their authority, and be perſwaded by no meanes to the contrary, they muſt be meere patients in ſuffering the childe to be taken away.

Anſw. If they were not that way imployed, they might take paines in ſome other thing. But the gaine of one may not make another neglect her duty.

11. Obiect. Some mothers cannot giue ſucke, they haue no milke: others cannot very well, in that they haue no nipples, or they haue ſore breaſts, or are ſickly, or it may be that they haue ſuch a diſeaſe, as the childe, if it ſhould ſucke of their milke, would draw to it ſelfe, and ſo the ſucking might proue very dangerous to the childe.

1. Anſw. God requireth no impoſſibilities: wherefore in propounding the duty I put in this caution (ſo far as they are able.)

2. God requireth mercie, and not ſacrifice: if therefore in⁵¹⁹ truth it be ſo that the mothers giuing ſucke to the childe will be dangerous to her ſelfe or to the childe, ſhe may and ought to forbeare: for giuing ſucke is but as ſacrifice to preuenting of danger, which is mercie. But women muſt take heed that they pretend not inability, and danger without iuſt cauſe. Some are themſelues the cauſe of wanting milke becauſe they p. 517 will not let it be drawne downe; or becauſe they will not vſe meanes (for meanes there are) to get and increaſe milke. There are meanes alſo to raiſe nipples where the breaſts are very flat. Refuſing to giue ſucke many times cauſeth ſome ſickiſhneſſe in a woman, and ſore breaſts, which might be preuented with the childes ſucking. If the foreneſſe be only in the nipples, a mother with enduring a little more paine may ſafely giue the childe ſucke. Many mothers haue giuen their children ſucke when bloud hath runne by the mouth of the childe by reaſon of ſore nipples, and yet both mother and childe done very well.

1. 519. Hoſ. 6. 6. Matt. 9. 13. [moved in the edition]

Anſw. Due and thorow ſearch muſt be made by thoſe that are skilfull: and if any cauſe be found in the mother, then the rule holdeth, Mercy and not ſacrifice: but if none can be found, the iſſue muſt be referred to Gods prouidence: and the vncertaine euen muſt not be an hinderance to a knowne dutie.

Thus the anſwering of the forenamed obiections maketh the point ſo much the more cleere.

The dutie which on a fathers part in this reſpect is required, is that he incourage his wife, and helpe her with all needfull things for the performance of this dutie. It is noted of Elkanah, that he ſuffered his wife to tarry at home while ſhe gaue ſucke to her ſonne, and would not force her to goe vp to the tabernacle as his other wife did, but gaue her all the eaſe and content he could, ſaying to her, Doe what ſeemeth thee good.⁵²⁰ And of Abraham it is noted, that after Sarah had done giuing the childe ſucke, he made a great feaſt, euen the day that⁵²¹ Iſaak was weined: one end whereof was to teſtifie his reioycing for Gods bleſſing on her motherly dutie ſo well performed.

1. 520. 1 Sam. 1. 23.
2. 521. Gen. 21. 8.

Contrary to this dutie doe all ſuch mothers offend, as for p. 518 any by-reſpects when no neceſſity requireth put forth their children to be nurſed by others.

• 1. Some doe it for eaſe and quiet, becauſe they cannot endure to haue their ſleepe broken, or to heare their childe wrangle and crie.
• 2. Others doe it for niceneſſe, becauſe they are loth to open their breaſts, or to ſoile their cloathes.
• 3. Others vpon pride, conceiting that their beauty would be impaired, and they looke old too ſoone.
• 4. Others vpon gaine, becauſe they can haue a childe cheaper nurſed abroad then at home, where, at leaſt, they muſt hire a maid the more.
• 5. Others vpon pleaſure, that they might more freely ride abroad, and meet their Goſſips.
• 6. Others vpon other by-reſpects:

all which doe argue much ſelfe-loue: little loue to their childe, and little reſpect to God. They can be counted but halfe-mothers: for nurſing a childe is as much as bearing and bringing it forth.

To the forenamed fault of mothers doe all ſuch fathers make themſelues acceſſary, as forbid their wiues to nurſe their children, or are a griefe to them by their complaints of trouble, diſquiet and expence: or afford not things needfull, or doe not incourage them all they can to doe it. The mothers both paine and paines is the greateſt: it is in compariſon but a ſmall thing that fathers can endure therein. Their fault therefore muſt needs be the greater, if any way they be an occaſion of their childes putting forth to nurſe: which I haue the rather noted, becauſe husbands for the moſt part are the cauſe that their wiues nurſe not their owne children: and that partly by ſuffering, and partly by egging them on to put out their children. If husbands were willing that their wiues ſhould performe this dutie, and would perſwade and incourage them thereto, and afford them what helpes they could, where one mother now nurſeth her childe, twenty would doe it.

There is a further dutie to be performed of parents to their p. 519 children euen in their infancy, and that is in regard of their ſpirituall good, which is this,

Parents ought to procure that their children be rightly baptized in due ſeaſon.

This is indeed a common dutie appertaining to both parents, but moſt principally to the father, and that for two reaſons.

1. The father is the chiefe and principall Gouernour, and hath the greateſt charge: accordingly he ought to haue the greateſt care euen in ſuch matters as are common to both.

2. The mother at that time by reaſon of her trauell and deliuery is weake, and not in caſe to haue her head much troubled with many cares; much leſſe able her ſelfe to take order for ſuch weighty matters. Only the husband is to make knowne to his wife (if ſhe be not extraordinarily weake) what his purpoſe is concerning the place, time, manner, and other like circumſtances of baptizing the childe, and to aduiſe with her about the name, witneſſes, and ſuch like points. And if the husband be too backward and negligent, the wife ought ſo farre as ſhe is able to put him in minde of his dutie therein, and to ſtirre him vp by her ſelfe or ſome other to performe it.

That parents are bound to procure Baptiſme for their children theſe reaſons declare.

1. The commandement of God concerning circumciſing⁵²² children: in the roome whereof Baptiſme ſucceedeth now vnder the Goſpell (Col. 2. 11, 12.) Gods commandement to this dutie was firſt giuen to Abraham: and that for himſelfe and all his poſterity to obſerue (Gen. 17. 10.) After this it was in the law laid downe as a poſitiue ſtatute, Leu. 12. 3.

1. 522. Veraciter conijcere poſſumus quid valeat in parvulis baptiſmi ſacramentum ex circumciſione, &c. Aug. de Bap. l. 5. c. 24. Gen. 21. 4. Luk. 1. 59. & 2. 21. Ioſ. 5. 5.

2. The practiſe of the Iewes in a faithfull and conſtant obseruance of this ordinance: as of Abraham; of Zachary and Elizabeth: of Ioſeph and Mary, and many others.

p. 520 Anſw. They had no abiding place in the wilderneſſe, but were euer and anon remouing: ſo as it would haue beene dangerous for the children to haue beene circumciſed: in that extraordinary caſe this rule tooke place, I will haue mercy and⁵²³ not ſacrifice.

1. 523. Mat. 12. 7.

3. The practiſe of Chriſtians, who beleeuing were themſelues⁵²⁴ and their whole houſhold baptized. Vnder whole houſhold children muſt needs be compriſed.