Parents Being Faithful to All under Their Care

The extent of this title (Fathers) is in the laſt place to be⁸⁰⁸ conſidered. Not only naturall parents themſelues, but alſo all that are in their place are compriſed vnder it. As they who are in the place of parents,

• 1. By the bond of mariage.
• 2. By propinquity of bloud.
• 3. By voluntary appointment.

1. 808. Who are in place of parents.

The firſt ſort are fathers and mothers in law: who are ſo reckoned either by the mariage of parents themſelues, or by the mariage of their children.

That man or woman which is maried to a parent that had children before their mariage, is in the place of a naturall parent: thus Ioſeph was a⁸⁰⁹ father to Ieſus, and⁸¹⁰ Keturah a mother to Iſaak. So againe the naturall parents of that ſonne that hath maried a wife, or of that daughter that is maried to an husband, are in the place of parents to the wife of their ſonne, and to the husband of their daughter. Thus⁸¹¹ Iethro was a father to Moſes, and⁸¹² Naomi a mother to Ruth.

1. 809. Luke 2. 48.
2. 810. Gen. 25. 1. [moved in the edition]
3. 811. Exod. 18. 1. [moved in the edition]
4. 812. Ruth 3. 1. [moved in the edition]

All theſe are to account their children in law (that is, the⁸¹³ children of their husband and wife, or the wiues of their ſons, and the husbands of their daughters) as their owne naturall children, and according to the age and place of theſe children to performe the forenamed duties, and euery way to ſeeke their good (except in ſuch duties as after a peculiar manner belong to naturall parents, as nurſing to a naturall mother, leauing the inheritance to a naturall parent.)

1. 813. Parents in law to performe like duties as naturall parents.

For a patterne hereof take the forenamed examples of Ioſeph and Naomi. What naturall parents could doe more for their owne children then Ioſeph did for Ieſus, and Naomi for Ruth? The hiſtory noteth how Ioſeph tooke care to haue his wiues p. 581 childe⁸¹⁴ circumciſed, and preſented in the temple: how he⁸¹⁵ fled from place to place to preſerue the childs life: how⁸¹⁶ perplexed he was when he thought the childe was loſt: how he⁸¹⁷ trained him vp in his owne houſe. The hiſtory alſo noteth how⁸¹⁸ Naomi brought Ruth her ſonnes wife into her own countrey, and retained her with her ſelfe, and⁸¹⁹ directed her whither to goe, and⁸²⁰ what husband to haue, and⁸²¹ became a nurſe to her childe.

1. 814. Luk. 2. 21, 22.
2. 815. Mat. 2. 14.
3. 816. Luk. 2. 48.
4. 817. Uerſ. 51.
5. 818. Ruth 1. 22. [moved in the edition]
6. 819. & 2. 22.
7. 820. & 3. 1.
8. 821. & 4. 16.

1. Mariage maketh man and wife one fleſh: in which reſpect⁸²² they ought to haue one minde, and the ſame affections, as mutually each to other, ſo ioyntly to the children of each other. On which ground alſo the husband and wife of a childe, being one fleſh with the childe, ought as the childe to be reſpected. On this ground God counteth the Saints his⁸²³ deare children, becauſe they are⁸²⁴ eſpouſed to his naturall ſon.

1. 822. Reaſons.
2. 823. Eph. 5. 1. τέκνα ἀγαπητά.
3. 824. 2 Cor. 11. 2.

2. To reſpect the children of an husband or wife as their owne, is a great euidence of intire loue to the husband and wife. And to reſpect the husband and wife of a childe is a great euidence of loue to the childe it ſelfe. If the worlds prouerbe hold true (loue me and loue my dog) how much more true is this Chriſtian rule, loue me and loue my childe: or loue me and loue mine husband: or loue me and loue my wife.

3. This alſo is an eſpeciall meanes to kindle and preſerue mutuall loue betwixt man and wife, who haue children of former husbands and wiues: as alſo betwixt parents and children.

Contrary is the cariage of moſt fathers and mothers in law: eſpecially of thoſe who are maried to husbands or to wiues that had children before mariage: ſo farre they are from performing the forenamed duty, as rather they enuy at the proſperity of their husbands and wiues children: and ſecretly endeuour to hinder it in what they can: and cunningly leeke to alienate the naturall parents affection from them: whence⁸²⁵ fearefull tragedies haue beene made, and lamentable miſchiefes haue followed. What other reaſon can be giuen hereof⁸²⁶ but a plaine inſtigation of the deuill, who thus laboureth to p. 582 diſunite thoſe whom God hath ioyned together? For auoiding this ſnare note the miſchiefes that follow from thence.

1. 825. Senecae Hippolytus.
2. 826. Ouid. Metamorph. l. 15. ſab. 45.

1. Such parents ſinne againſt Gods ordinance: and as Eue, leane more to Satans ſuggeſtion then to Gods direction.

2. They alienate the hearts and affections of one from another: not only from their children, but from themſelues.

3. They prouoke their children in law to contemne and deſpiſe them, and to yeeld no duty vnto them.

Hence note into what an hell vnkinde fathers and mothers in law doe caſt themſelues. If this were duly weighed, I thinke they would be otherwiſe minded. But the god of this world doth ſo blinde their eies with ſelfe-loue, and with enuy, that they cannot ſee the miſchiefes whereinto they implunge themſelues.

This is a point the more to be weighed, becauſe the fault here taxed is ſo common, and hath in all ages beene too common.⁸²⁷ What grieuous complaints haue in former times beene made, and ſtill are made by children againſt fathers and mothers in law? Whence alſo direfull imprecations haue followed. Let widowers and widowes that haue children ſeriouſly thinke of it before hand: and be the more circumſpect in taking a ſecond or third husband or wife: and after they are maried let them take heed of Satans ſnares: and let conſcience of dutie more preuaile with them, then corruption of nature.

1. 827. Lurida terribiles miſcent aconita nouercae. Ouid. Metam. l. 1. fab. 4.

Many parents to the husbands and wiues of their children doe alſo much tranſgreſſe and ſwarue from their dutie: for

1. They will ſhew much more reſpect to their owne children then to the children of their husbands or wiues: as by comming to their daughters when their husbands are abroad, and neuer but then: and ſending for their ſonnes to their houſe, but not for their wiues.

2. In all differences they will take part with their owne children, though it be in the worſe part, and ſhew great partiality.

3. They will oft giue very ill counſell: aduiſing their ſons p. 583 to keepe their wiues ſhort: aduiſing their daughters not to be too ſubiect to their husbands, yea priuily to purloine from their husbands.

4. If they liue with their children, they will ſo prie into euery thing that their childrens husband or wife doth, and ſhew ſuch ſuſpicion and iealouſly in euery thing, as they cannot but cauſe much diſcord: and hence it oft commeth to paſſe, that either parent and childe, or husband and wife muſt be parted: they cannot all in peace liue together.

Theſe faults I thus note, that they may the more carefully be auoided.

The next ſort of thoſe who are in ſtead of parents, are thoſe who in bloud and kindred are next to parents: as grandfathers, grand-mothers, vncles, aunts, elder brothers, or ſiſters, their husbands or wiues, and coſins.

Theſe commonly are counted to be in the place of parents,⁸²⁸ when God taketh away naturall and immediate parents from their children: ſo as they are parents to Orphants.

1. 828. The next of kin to Orphants to be as naturall parents.

The duties which were preſcribed to naturall parents appertaine to them (except⁸²⁹ before excepted.) Their dutie is to ſee theſe Orphants well educated, well placed in ſome good calling, well maried, and (if the Orphants be left deſtitute of meanes) well prouided for.

1. 829. §. 71.

Mordecai is a worthy preſident and patterne for this kinde of parents.⁸³⁰ He brought vp Eſther his vncles daughter (for ſhe had neither father nor mother) he tooke her for his owne daughter: when ſhe was taken from him,⁸³¹ he went to know how ſhe did, and what ſhould become of her: and⁸³² he gaue her aduice from time to time how to carrie her ſelfe. Let ſuch as are parents to Orphants take this example as a direction, and as a motiue to performe the other duties preſcribed to naturall parents as need requireth, and occaſion is offered.

1. 830. Eſt. 2. 7. [moved in the edition]
2. 831. Verſ. 11. [moved in the edition]
3. 832. Verſ. 20, 22. Chap. 4. verſ. 13.

God by his prouidence taking away naturall parents committeth their Orphants as a charge to the next of kin: that as their naturall parents brought them forth, theſe ſhould bring them vp: therefore for their recompence let them looke to God, (who taketh vpon himſelfe to be⁸³³ a father of the fatherleſſe) p. 584 and for their incouragement remember the reward which Mordecai receiued of the Lord: yea alſo let them remember the bleſſing that God beſtowed vpon Eſther. God doth oft ſo bleſſe the meanes vſed for the education of Orphants, as they who take the care thereof haue no cauſe to repent their paines and coſt, but rather haue much matter of comfort, ioy and thankſgiuing.

1. 833. Pſal. 68. 5.

Too too common is the contrary diſpoſition of moſt kinſmen, and kinſwomen; they thinke they are bound to none but their owne children, and if they haue no children, to none at all. Many are of Ruths kinſmans minde, they feare to marre⁸³⁴ their owne inheritance. Though they be themſelues exceeding rich, and ſpend much in apparell, paſtimes and houſe-keeping, yet they can ſuffer the Orphants of their poore kindred to want, and to beg for need.

1. 834. Ruth 4. 6.

This is it that maketh the loſſe of naturall parents to be ſo much the greater. And herein many Chriſtians are more inhumane then the heathen: which the Apoſtle implieth, where he faith, they are worſe then infidels: for Orphants next of kinne⁸³⁵ are to be reckoned among thoſe whom the Apoſtle termeth a mans⁸³⁶ OVVNE.

1. 835. 1 Tim. 5. 8. [moved in the edition]
2. 836. τοὺς ἰδίους.

The laſt ſort of thoſe who are in place of parents, are ſuch as haue the charge of children committed to them by voluntary appointment of parents, or are choſen by children themſelues, or by the magiſtrate when parents are dead, or lunatike, or any other way impotent, and vnable to traine vp their owne children.

Of theſe care and conſcience is rather required, then coſt and charges: for commonly both their charges are allowed, and their paines recompenced.

They who by reaſon of the death or impotency of naturall parents haue the charge of children committed to them, are commonly called Guardians: of whom two generall duties are required.

• 1. That they looke to their Pupils good education.
• 2. That they preſerue their patrimony and inheritance.

p. 585 For their education, the directions giuen before to naturall parents are to be obſerued by them.

For preſeruation of their patrimonie, they muſt doe for their Pupils what they would doe for their owne children; and ſo carry themſelues, as with good conſcience they may giue that account to their Pupils, or any other, which the law requireth.

The two forenamed duties, are the rhaine ends for which Guardians are choſen: in performing whereof, if they be faithfull, great redreſſe will be made of the vntimely death of parents; and notwithſtanding parents die before their children be of diſcretion to manage their eſtate, yet will their houſes and families be maintained, and young heires kept from cunnie-catchers and cheaters.

It is noted of Iohn, who had the mother of Ieſus commended⁸³⁷ to him, that he tooke her to his owne home: whereby is implied his prouident care for her good.

1. 837. Ioh. 19. 27.

Contrary is the practiſe of moſt Guardians, who take Pupils⁸³⁸ for their owne aduantage, and make a prey of them. The heathen could ſay, that Guardianſhip is to be performed for the benefit of the Pupill, and not of the Guardian. Yet among Chriſtians is the forenamed fault of Guardians.

1. 838. Tutela ad vtilitatem eorum qui commiſſi ſunt, non ad corum quibus commiſſa, gerenda eſt. Cic. Offic. l. 1.

1. There are few children (that haue not naturall parents to looke to their good education) but are exceedingly neglected therein, and brought vp very rudely and licentiouſly: yea many times too ſparingly and niggardly for diet, apparell, and other needfull things, though they haue ſufficient to diſcharge all that ſhall be laid out vpon them.

2. The maine eſtate & patrimonie of many Pupils is much impaired: and if they haue lands, as much waſte is made vpon them as poſſibly can be: and when a reckoning is to be giuen, it ſhall be a large, vniuſt, and moſt vnconſcionable reckoning of the Guardian can but get a generall releaſe, it is all that the caueth for.

3. Mariages are after a for forced vpon many Pupils: and ſuch matches put vpon them as they cannot like; yea ſuch as are no way fit for them, neither for eſtate, nor yeeres, nor proportion of bodie, nor qualities of minde.

Little doe theſe Guardians thinke of that account where unto they ſhall be brought an other day before the Lord, who ſtileth p. 586 himſelfe the⁸³⁹ helper of the fatherleſſe, and who beholdeth miſchiefe to requite it. Fearefull is that iudgement which the Lord hath⁸⁴⁰ threatned againſt thoſe that oppreſſe the fatherleſſe. Let not therefore vniuſt Guardians thinke, that the gaine they get wrongfully from their Pupils ſhall proſper: but rather let them looke for Gods curſe vpon their owne children, and goods.

1. 839. Pſal. 10. 14. [moved in the edition]
2. 840. Exo. 22. 22, &c.

If ſuch as parents themſelues haue vpon their death-beds committed their children vnto, in confidence of their faithfulneſſe, ſhall deale deceitfully with their Pupils, their ſinne is doubled, and trebled. For

• 1. They violate the bond of friendſhip, faithfulneſſe, and truſt repoſed vpon them.
• 2. They ſinne directly againſt iuſtice.
• 3. Moſt monſtrouſly they tranſgreſſe the rules of charitie.

Among thoſe who are by voluntarie appointment ſet in the place of parents, are Schoolemaſters and Tutors to be reckoned. The authoritie and charge of a parent is for a time committed to them: therefore for that time they ought to performe a parents dutie.

Their dutie is appropriated to education: it appertaineth not to them to maintaine the children committed to them: they are rather themſelues by their paines that way maintained.

All the duties which were before compriſed vnder nurture, belong to Schoolemaſters and Tutors. More particularly they are to inſtruct children in three things.

• 1. In learning.
• 2. In ciuilitie, and good manners.
• 3. In true pietie, and religion.

I ſhall not need to ſpeake more of theſe points then hath⁸⁴¹ before beene deliuered: only to prouoke them to be diligent in well nurturing children in thoſe three points, let the benefit of good Schoolemaſters and Tutors be well noted.

1. 841. §. 28, 34.

Schoolemaſters commonly caſt the firſt ſeed into the hearts of⁸⁴² children: they firſt ſeaſon them: as the ſeed is, ſuch will the crop be: as the firſt ſeaſoning is, ſo will the ſauour continue to be. If they ſowe no good ſeed at all, what harueſt can be looked for? If they ſowe a corrupt ſeed of rudeneſſe, licentiouſneſſe, profaneneſſe, p. 587 ſuperſtition, and any wickedneſſe, the crop muſt needs be anſwerable thereto. But if they ſowe the good ſeed of learning, ciuilitie, and pietie, there is great hope of a good crop.

1. 842. The benefit of a good Schoolmaſter.

Hence it followeth that they are of great vſe, and may bring much good, not only to the children themſelues, and their parents,⁸⁴³ but alſo to the Church and Common-wealth. Iulian the Apoſtat was not ignorant hereof: and therefore endeuouring to root Chriſtianitie out of the world, he ſuffered no man that profeſſed himſelfe a Chriſtian, to teach a ſchoole: but in ſtead of Chriſtian Schoolemaſters, he ſet vp in euery part of his dominions, heatheniſh Schoolemaſters.

1. 843. Scholas & phrontiſteria virorum & mulierum philoſophiae ethnicae addictorum conſtrux it. Nicep. eccl. hiſt. l. 10. c. 21. The benefit of a good Tutor.

Tutors, to whoſe gouernment young ſchollers, that are ſent to the Vniuerſities, are committed, haue to deale with children in their riper yeeres; euen when the time of ſetling them in a courſe is come: the very time wherein much good may be done to children, or elſe wherein they may be vtterly peruerted. There will be little hope of bowing them, and drawing them into another courſe after they be freed from the gouernment of a Tutor. Tutors therefore, as they haue need of great wiſdome, ſo of good conſcience, that they may haue the greater care of their Pupils, and take the greater paines in teaching them the three forenamed points, learning, ciuilitie, and pietie. A good Tutor may doe much to repaire the negligence, and amend the defects of a Schoolemaſter: but there remaine none to redreſſe the failings of a Tutor: children for the moſt part are paſt redreſſing, when they ceaſe to haue a Tutor.

The vices contrary to the forenamed dutie of Schoolemaſters, are theſe.

1. Unskilfulneſſe. Many that are more fit to be taught then to teach, take vpon them this weightie calling. Some haue not ſufficient learning: ſome againe are rude, and know not themſelues good manners: and ſome know not the firſt principles of the oracles of God. No good can be expected from theſe.

2. Couetouſneſſe. All that many ſeeke, is to multiply the number of their ſchollers, and to get as much as they can for boording, and teaching: they aime more at their owne gaine then at their ſchollers profit. Children are not like to thriue well vnder them.

p. 588 3. Negligence. Many are loth to take the paines of a Schoolemaſter, and thereupon come as little into the ſchoole as they can: take euery ſmall occaſion to be gone againe: care not how much their children play: if they be able to hire a poore Vſher, all the burden ſhall be caſt vpon him. Little is that fruit that can be looked for from them.

4. Want of pietie. Many skilfull and painfull Schoolemaſters, vnder whoſe teaching children come forward exceeding well in learning, thinke it nothing appertaineth to them to teach the grounds of religion, ſo as they altogether neglect pietie. Aſſuredly they want it themſelues: for were their owne hearts ſeaſoned with true pietie, their conſciences would moue them to teach it to their children. The things of the kingdome of God are like vnto heauen, which ſeaſoneth the whole batch of dough with that ſeaſon and ſauour which it ſelfe hath. When children ſpend almoſt all their time with their Schoolemaſters, of whom ſhould they learne it, if not of them? What bleſſing can be hoped from the paines of ſuch Schoolemaſters?

I might to theſe adde the ouer-much remiſneſſe of ſome (whereby children get too great an head) and the too great ſeueritie of others, either in frequencie of correcting, as if they delighted therein; or in the meaſure thereof, as if they had to doe with beaſts, whereby they affright children, make them dull, yea and impudent alſo. But theſe extremes were⁸⁴⁴ before handled.

1. 844. §. 48, 49.

The common fault of Tutors is altogether to neglect their Pupils. Many thinke a Tutor to be a meeretitular matter: no more to be required of them but to beare the very name; and to vndertake that the Colledge be diſcharged for their Pupils diet. This conceit, and the practiſe anſwerable thereunto, is the blemiſh and bane of the Vniuerſities. Many children well trained vp in ſchooles, vtterly loſe the benefit of all their former education when they are ſent to the Vniuerſitie, becauſe their Tutors altogether leaue them to themſelues: and ſo they are made a prey to idle and lewd companions. By reaſon hereof many parents are vtterly diſcouraged to ſend their children to the Vniuerſitie.