A Husband’s Sincere and Steady Love for His Wife

The generall matter together with the particular kindes of husbands duties being thus farre handled, The manner alſo of performing them is to be deliuered.

To inſtruct an husband in the manner of performing his duties to his wife, the Apoſtle laieth downe two patternes, 1. Chriſt, verſ. 25.

2. Our ſelues, verſ. 28.

As Chriſt loueth his Church, and as we loue our ſelues, ſo muſt men loue their wiues.

That we may the better follow theſe patternes, we muſt diſtinctly note how Chriſt loueth his Church, and how we¹²⁰⁴ loue our ſelues.

1. 1204. The manner of an husbands loue ſet forth by Chriſts manner of louing his Church in ſix branches. 1. Chriſt firſt loueth the Church.

The loue of Chriſt to his Church is commended vnto vs in ſix ſeuerall points: which are

1. The order 4. The qualitie thereof.

2. The truth 5. The quantitie

3. The cauſe 6. The continuance

I. For the Order, Chriſt began to loue his Church: he mafeſted his loue to her before ſhe loued him: as the aire heated by the Sunne is hote, and a wall on which the Sun-beames p. 413 ſmite, giueth a reflexion of heat backe againe: ſo the Church, as it were heated and warmed at heart by the ſence of Chriſts loue, loued him, as the Apoſtle expreſly noteth, (We loue him¹²⁰⁵ becauſe he loued vs firſt:) and the Church her ſelfe acknowledgeth ſaying, Becauſe of the ſauour of thy good ointments¹²⁰⁶ (wherewith we are reuiued, and cheered) the virgins loue thee.

1. 1205. 1 Joh. 4. 19.
2. 1206. Cant. 1. 2.

There is in vs by nature no ſparke of loue at all: if Chriſt¹²⁰⁷ by his louing of vs firſt, did not inſtill loue into vs, we could no more loue him then a liuing bird riſe out of a cold egge, if it were not kept warme by the dammes ſitting vpon it.

1. 1207. Husbands muſt by their loue prouoke their wiues to loue. Pro. 2. 17. אלוף [moved in the edition]

Thus muſt an husband firſt begin to loue his wife. His place of eminencie, and authority requireth, that he ſhould be to his wife, a guide, which title is expreſly giuen to him by the holy¹²⁰⁸ Ghoſt, to teach him to goe before her, and by his example to inſtruct, and incite her to doe her dutie. What a ſhame would it be for a man who is the Image and glory of God, the head of his wife, in the ſame place to her that Chriſt is to his Church, to be prouoked by his wiues wiue-like carriage (ſhe being the weaker veſſell, vnder him, to learne of him) to loue her?¹²⁰⁹ Reaſons there be to ſtirre vp a wife to indeauour to preuent her husband in doing her dutie, which if ſhe doe, it is the greater glory to her; but this patterne of Chriſt ſhould ſtirre him much more to ſtriue to goe before her.

1. 1208. Sicaput eſt vir, praecedere debet in omnibus bonis factis vxorem ſuam, vt illa imitetur virum, & ſequatur caput ſuum. Aug. de decem chor. c. 3.
2. 1209. Treat. 1. §. 10.

Contrary, is their diſpoſition, who hauing louing and dutifull wiues, are notwithſtanding nothing moued to loue them againe: but are as vnkinde and churliſh as if they had the moſt peeuiſh, and peruerſe wiues that could be. But what ſhall we ſay of ſuch as loue their wiues the leſſe, yea and hate them for their forwardneſſe to loue, and (in teſtimony of true loue) to performe all good dutie? What, but that they are very deuils incarnate? For it is the deuils property to ouercome good with cuill. Theſe make the doctrine of a wiues ſubiection to ſeeme harſh, and a carefull performance thereof, an heauy burden. Neuer ſhall they partake of Chriſts loue, that in their place shew themſelues ſo vnlike to Chriſt.

II. The truth of Chriſts loue was manifeſted by the fruits thereof to his Church: He gaue himſelfe for it. It was therefore not in word only, no nor only in heart, but in deed alſo. Thus his loue proued profitable, and beneficiall to his Church, which thereby was clenſed, and made a glorious¹²¹¹ Church. Had he only borne a tender compaſſion and pittifull affection towards it, or laboured only with comfortable and ſweet words to vphold and ſuccour it, it had ſtill laine polluted with ſinne, in the power of the deuill, and vnder Gods wrath, and ſo receiued no profit and benefit at all.

1. 1210. Treat. 3. §. 57. 2. Chriſt loueth in truth. [moved in the edition]
2. 1211. Verſ. 26, 27.

So muſt husbands loue their wiues in truth and in deed.^12121213 Such a loue is required of a man to his brother: much more therefore to his wife, who is not only a ſiſter (as¹²¹⁴ the Apoſtle expreſly ſtileth her) but neerer then ſiſter, mother, daughter, friend, or any other whatſoeuer. This therefore ſerueth to preſſe the practiſe of all the forenamed duties appertaining to an husband.

1. 1212. Husbands muſt loue in deed.
2. 1213. 1 Ioh. 3. 18.
3. 1214. 1 Cor. 9. 5.

Contrary is their diſſimulation and hypocriſie, who make great ſhew of much loue, and pretence of earneſt affection, vſing many outward complements, but faile when they come to the trueſt triall, the deed. Some like ſuters or wooers, will promiſe mountaines, but not performe moul-hills: others will coll and kiſſe their wiues much, but truſt them with nothing, nor prouide for them things requiſite: there be that will weepe much when their wiues are ſicke, yet not afford phyſicke and ſuch like things for their recouery: yea many will carrie a faire face all their life long towards their wiues, and at their death leaue them nothing to liue by.

Hence it is that many who by others are accounted to be very kinde husbands, are by their wiues found to be farre otherwiſe. If triall be made of husbands loue by their practiſe and performance of the forenamed duties, it will be found that they for the moſt part come as farre ſhort in loue, as wiues in ſubiection.

III. The cauſe of Chriſts loue, was his loue, as Moſes noteth,¹²¹⁵ He ſet his loue on you, becauſe he loued you. His loue aroſe only, and wholly from himſelfe, and was euery way free: as there was nothing in the Church, before Chriſt loued her to moue him to loue her, ſo can there be nothing that he could hope for afterwards, but what himſelfe beſtowed. Indeed he delighteth in that righteouſneſſe wherewith, as with a glorious robe, ſhe is clothed; and with thoſe heauenly graces, wherewith as with pretious Iewels ſhe is decked: but that righteouſneſſe, and thoſe graces are his owne, and of his free gift, He preſents it to himſelfe a glorious Church.¹²¹⁶

1. 1215. 3. Chriſt loueth freely. Deut. 7. 7, 8.
2. 1216. Eph. 5. 27. Husbands loue muſt be free.

In imitation hereof husbands ſhould loue their wiues, though there were nothing in wiues to moue them ſo to doe, but only that they are their wiues: yea though no future benefit could after be expected from them: true loue hath reſpect to the obiect which is loued, and the good it may doe thereunto, rather then to the ſubiect which loueth, and the good that it may receiue. For loue ſeeketh not her owne.¹²¹⁷

1. 1217. 1 Cor. 13. 5.

Chriſts loue in this branch thereof ſhould further moue husbands to doe what lieth in their power, to make their wiues worthy of loue: thus will it be in truth ſaid, that they dwell with their wiues according to knowledge: and thus will their¹²¹⁸ loue appeare to be as Chriſts loue, free.

1. 1218. 1 Pet. 3. 7. [moved in the edition]

Contrary is their loue which is only for their owne content and aduantage. Many can loue no further then they may haue some bait to allure their affections, as beauty, wealth, honour, or the like by-reſpects; or at leaſt hope of ſome inheritance or portion aboue that which they haue, or of ſome fauour that they expect from their wiues friends. This cannot be a true ſound loue: ſuch a man may be thought to loue his wiues beautie, inheritance, and friends rather then his wife. This loue cannot laſt.

IIII. Chriſts loue for the qualitie is an holy, pure, chaſte,¹²¹⁹ loue: as he himſelfe is, ſo is his loue, as is euident by the effect thereof: for it moued him to ſanctifie and clenſe his p. 416 Church, to make it a glorious Church without ſpot: he did therefore no way pollute or defile his Spouſe: and that his loue might the better appeare to be chaſte loue, caſt only vpon one Spouſe and not many, he vnited all his Saints together by the¹²²⁰ bond of his Spirit, and made them all one body.

1. 1219. 4. Chriſts loue pure. Eph. 5. 26, 27.
2. 1220. 1 Cor. 12. 12, 13

Hereby husbands muſt learne ſo to be affected towards¹²²¹ their wiues as may ſtand with holineſſe, and chaſtitie: though much loue be required, yet it may not ouer-flowe thoſe banks. Mariage is honourable and a bed vndefiled. It muſt therefore be vſed as an vndefiled thing. This indeed appertaineth to the wife as well as to the husband. But becauſe he is the head, and guide of his wife, and ought to be as a patterne and preſident before her, as Chriſt is before him, therefore is it more ſpecially applied to him. The puritie of an husbands loue here ſpoken of, hath a double vſe,

1. 1221. Husbands loue muſt be chaſte. Heb. 13. 4.

1. It reſtraineth an husbands loue to his owne wife. There is a generall Chriſtian loue whereby all occaſions of doing good are taken, with which an husband may, and ought to loue others: and a particular matrimoniall loue, whereby he is moued to preferre his wife before all, and to haue his heart ſet and fixed on her, and ſo proper and peculiar to her.

2. It orders and moderates his loue, ſo as it turneth not into ſinfull luſt, whereby that eſtate, (which in it ſelfe by vertue of Gods ordinance, is holy) is polluted.

Contrary, is not only adulterie, whereof we haue ſpoken¹²²² before, but alſo wantonneſſe, lightneſſe, and vncleanneſſe with his wife. For many intemperate and vnchaſte husbands, giuing the raines to their headſtrong luſts, manifeſt as much vnſeemlineſſe and plaine filthineſſe in their words, geſtures, and actions (to ſay nothing of their thoughts which are not ſeene) to their wiues, as other doe to ſtrumpets and harlots which is a moſt ſhameleſſe thing, and I am euen aſhamed to mention: but becauſe it is mentioned, let ſuch know, that they ſhall be accounted among ſuch whoremongers and adulterers¹²²³ as God will iudge.

1. 1222. Treat. 2. part. 2. §. 5, 8.
2. 1223. Heb. 13. 4.

The quantity of Chriſts loue cannot be expreſſed: for the¹²²⁴ meaſure of it was aboue meaſure.¹²²⁵ He gaue himſelfe for his Church, and in that reſpect he calleth himſelfe that¹²²⁶ Good ſheepheard that gaue his life for his ſheepe.¹²²⁷ Greater loue then this hath no man. What will not he doe for his ſpouſe, that gaue his life for her?

1. 1224. 5 Chriſts loue extended to the giuing of himſelfe
2. 1225. Epheſ. 5 25. [moved in the edition]
3. 1226. Iohn. 10. 11. [moved in the edition]
4. 1227. & 15. 13. [moved in the edition]

This may ſeeme to be too high a ſtraine, and pitch of loue for an husband to attaine vnto: a matter wherein he is to¹²²⁸ leaue his patterne, and not to follow Chriſt: but yet S. Iohn addeth euen this extent to the loue of our brethren: We ought ſaith he) to lay downe our liues for the brethren: therefore by muſt conſequence for our wiues. But that this extent be not ſtretched too farre, and husbands caſt into a pit of needleſſe perill, two cautions muſt be noted,

1. 1228. How huſbands muſt loue their wiues more then themſelues. 1 Iohn. 3. 16. [moved in the edition]

1. That there be an abſolute neceſſity, to bring vs to this¹²²⁹ straite of parting with our life: which is, when the good we aime at in the behalfe of our wiues cannot any other way be effected, but by venturing our life. There was no other way to redeeme the Church, but by the bloud of Chriſt.

1. 1229. Cautions about an huſbands louing his wife more then himſelfe.

2. That the good we intend in this caſe to our wiues be of greater valew then our temporall life: as is the good of her rule, the ſauing of it. Thus the Apoſtle ſaith, I will moſt gladly beſtowed for your ſoules. Which minde men muſt much more¹²³⁰ carie towards their wiues. It was for our ſaluation that Chriſt gaue himſelfe.

1. 1230. 2 Cor. 12. 15. [moved in the edition]

Contrary is their vnkindneſſe that preferre euery trifle of their owne before the good of their wiues: their profit, their pleaſure, their promotion, cleane draw away their hearts and affections from their wiues. If any extraordinary charge muſt be laid out, or pains taken for their wiues good, little loue will then appeare: whereby it appeares that there was no true and ſound loue ſetled in their hearts towards their wiues. As gold and other like mettals are tryed by the fire, ſo loue by afflictions and croſſes.

Contrary in another extreme is the ouer-bold and ouer-heady p. 418 pretended manhood of ſuch husbands as vpon euery iealous ſurmize and ſleight report, are ready to make challenges of fight, and to enter into ſingle combats and duels, on pretence of maintaining their wiues honour. This being no warrantable courſe of righting a wrong, no honour can redound to the wife thereby, but much diſhonour and danger to the husband. If he preuaile ouer his aduerſarie and kill, he is made guilty of murther thereby, and ſo reproach and ſhame muſt needs come to himſelfe, wife, and whole family: if he be ouercome and ſlaine, ſhe may be reputed more guilty then ſhe was before. And oft it falleth out that God in iuſt iudgement giueth ouer the challenger into his aduerſaries hand, becauſe he hath vndertaken ſo indirect a courſe.

VI. The continuance of Chriſts loue was without date:¹²³² Hauing loued his owne, he loued them vnto the end. His loue was conſtant (not by fits, now louing, then hating) and¹²³³ euerlaſting (neuer repenting thereof, neuer changing or altering his minde) no prouocations, no tranſgreſſions could euer make him forget to loue, and ceaſe to doe that good which he intended for his Church: note what he ſaid to her euen when ſhe reuoulted from him, Thou haſt played the harlot with many¹²³⁴ louers, yet returne againe to me: and againe, My mercy ſhall not depart away.

1. 1231. Treat. 3. §. 6. 6 Chriſts loue perpetuall. [moved in the edition]
2. 1232. Ioh. 13. 1. [moved in the edition]
3. 1233. Hoſ. 2. 19. [moved in the edition]
4. 1234. Ier. 3. 1. 2 Sam. 7. 15.

For his loue reſteth not on the deſert of his Church, but on the vnchangeableneſſe of his owne will. As this manifeſted Chriſts loue to be true ſound loue, ſo it made it profitable and beneficiall to the Church, which, notwithſtanding her many frailties, by virtue hereof is glorified.

This laſt branch muſt be added to all the former branches¹²³⁵ of an husbands loue, or elſe they will be all in vaine and to no purpoſe. This giueth the trueſt tryall of ſound loue. Such was the loue betwixt Dauid and Ionathan: the ſoundeſt loue that euer was, betwixt partie and partie. This bringeth the greateſt glory to the partie which loueth: and the greateſt benefit to the partie which is loued. That a mans loue may thus remaine firme and inuiolable,

1. 1235. Husbands muſt be conſtant in their loue.

1. He muſt be ſure to lay a good foundation; he muſt p. 419 ground his loue on Gods ordinance: and loue his wife in regard of the matrimoniall bond which knitteth them together, and that neere vnion which thence ariſeth; and ſo it will laſt ſo long as that knot laſteth.

2. He muſt further ſupport and ſtrengthen it with an inuiolable reſolution to be changed and altered with no prouocation, but rather to paſſe by all infirmities; indeauouring in loue to redreſſe them if poſſibly he can: if not, to beare with them.

Contrary is their variableneſſe, whoſe loue is ready to turne as a weather cocke with euery blaſt of a contrary winde: now tender-hearted, then againe hard-hearted: now ſmiling, then lowring: now giuing this and that fauour, then denying euery thing, euen ſuch things as are needfull.

Many whoſe loue was as hot as fire while their wiues were young, or their friends liued, or while they pleaſed them, when thoſe occaſions are taken away, proue in their loue as cold as ice.

Againe others by ſome continuance in doing good to their wiues, thinke it a burden: and waxing weary cleane leaue off their former good courſe; which plainly ſheweth that they neuer truly and intirely loued their wiues.

By this patterne of Chriſt here propounded to husbands, we haue on the one ſide a good direction to teach vs how to loue our wiues, as hath beene particularly declared; and on the other ſide, matter of humiliation, in that it ſheweth vs how farre ſhort we come of our bounden duty. Howſoeuer, wiues may moſt complaine of their burden, becauſe it is a Subiection whereunto by nature we are all loath to yeeld: yet I am ſure¹²³⁶ the heauieſt burden is laid vpon the husbands ſhoulders: and much more eaſie it is to performe the part of a good wife, then a good husband.

1. 1236. See Treat. 1. §. 10.

To the example of Chriſt the Apoſtle annexeth the patterne of ones ſelfe, in theſe words: So ought men to loue their¹²³⁸ wiues as their owne bodies.

1. 1237. Treat. 3. §. 59. [moved in the edition]
2. 1238. Eph. 5. 28.

Anſw. Chriſts example is a full, compleat, perfect, and¹²³⁹ euery way ſufficient patterne; farre more excellent then this of a mans ſelfe: this is not annexed to adde any thing to that, or in regard of the excellency hereof, but only in regard of our dulneſſe, to make the point ſomewhat more plaine and perſpicuous.¹²⁴⁰ For this patterne is more ſenſible and better diſcerned. Euery one knoweth how he loueth his owne body: but few or none know how Chriſt loueth his Church. Beſides,¹²⁴¹ that example of Chriſt may ſeeme too high and excellent for any to attaine vnto, euen inimitable; therefore to ſhew that he requireth no more then a man may performe, if he will ſet himſelfe with care and conſcience to doe his duty, he addeth the patterne of ones ſelfe; that which one doth to his body, if he will, he may doe to his wife.

1. 1239. To Chriſts example, the patterne of ones ſelfe is added.
2. 1240. 1. Becauſe it is more ſenſible.
3. 1241. 2. Becauſe it is more imitable.

No direction can be taken from this latter patterne, but¹²⁴² might be referred to the former, as moſt of the former (though in a farre meaner manner) may be referred to the latter. For the loue which a man beareth to himſelfe is true, and intire without all diſſimulation: the moſt diſſembling wretch in the world (who in his dealings with other men doth nothing vprightly) nor will nor can diſſemble with himſelfe; though other men ſhall neuer know the depth of his heart, yet the ſpirit¹²⁴³ which is in him, euen himſelfe, knoweth it: ſo as this patterne alſo preſſeth truth and ſincerity on husbands in their affection towards their wiues: of all other they may not diſſemble and deale doubly with them; but let them know the intireneſſe of their affection towards them: and ſee they neither faune on them, nor flatter them. They which pretend great loue to their wiues in ſhew only, offend againſt nature it ſelfe. As the foreſaid loue of a mans owne ſelfe is for manner intire and true, ſo alſo free not forced: and for meaſure as great as poſſibly it can be, and for continuance, conſtant, and ſo like to Chriſt loue. But there are two points eſpecially to be conſidered in the loue of ones ſelfe which aboue others are moſt ſenſibly diſcerned¹²⁴⁴ in this patterne. 1. Tenderneſſe. 2. Cheerefulneſſe.

1. 1242. The patterne of louing ones ſelfe ſetteth forth the ſame things that Chriſts loue doth.
2. 1243. 1 Cor. 2. 11.
3. 1244. Man is tender towards himſelfe.

No other man will or can ſo tenderly handle a mans hand p. 421 arme, legge or any other part of his body, as himſelfe: he is very ſenſible of his owne ſmart.

The metaphors which the Apoſtle vſeth in theſe words, He nouriſheth and cheriſheth it, doe liuely ſet forth this tenderneſſe:¹²⁴⁵ for they are taken from fowles and birds which very charily, and tenderly houer ouer their young ones, couering them all ouer with their wings and feathers, but ſo bearing vp their bodies as no weight lieth vpon them.

1. 1245. Eph. 5. 29. [moved in the edition]

Thus ought husbands with all tenderneſſe, and mildneſſe¹²⁴⁶ to deale with their wiues, as we haue before noted in many particulars: only this example of a mans ſelfe I thought good to ſet before husbands, as a liuely patterne wherein they might behold a preſident without exception, going before them, and whereby they might receiue excellent direction for the better performing of the particulars before noted.

1. 1246. Husbands muſt deale tenderly with their wiues.

Againe, no friend, no parent, no other party will or can ſo¹²⁴⁷ willingly and cheerefully doe any kindneſſe for one, as a man for himſelfe. This among other is one eſpeciall point which the law aimeth at, when it enioynes a man to loue his neighbour¹²⁴⁸ as himſelfe, namely, as willingly and readily as himſelfe. Whatſoeuer a man doth for himſelfe he doth much more cheerefully then for another. There needeth no other proofe then experience. Let men take notice of their owne minde and diſpoſition when they doe things for themſelues, and this will be as cleere as the light when the Sunne ſhineth forth at noone day.

1. 1247. Man is cheerefull in doing himſelfe good.
2. 1248. Leu. 19. 18.

Such an affection ought husbands to haue to their wiues:¹²⁴⁹ they ought more willingly and cheerefully to doe any thing for their wiues then for parents, children, friends or any other. Though this cheerefulneſſe be an inward diſpoſition of the heart, yet may it be manifeſted by a mans forwardneſſe and readineſſe to doe his wife good: when his wife ſhall no ſooner deſire a kindneſſe, then he will be ready to grant it: as Booz ſaith to Ruth, I will doe to thee all that thou requireſt; yea,¹²⁵⁰ by any meanes he may know that this or that will be behoofull to her, though ſhe deſire it not, yet to effect it for her: which was the minde of the ſaid Booz to Ruth, as the hiſtory in many particulars ſheweth.

1. 1249. Husbands muſt be cheerefull in ſeeking their wiues good.
2. 1250. Ruth 3. 11. [moved in the edition]

p. 422 Contrary is the diſpoſition of thoſe husbands who ſo grudgingly, repiningly, and diſcontentedly doe thoſe things which they doe in their wiues behalfe, as their wiues had rather they were not done at all. The manner of doing them cauſeth more griefe to tender hearted wiues, then the things themſelues can doe good.

Hitherto of the manner which husbands ought to obſerue in performing their duties. The reaſons to inforce the ſame remaine to be handled.

The forenamed examples of Chriſt and of our ſelues as¹²⁵¹ they are patternes for our direction, ſo generall motiues to prouoke and ſtirre vs vp the more to performe all the forenamed duties after the manner preſcribed.

1. 1251. Generall reaſons. 1. Chriſts example.

A greater, and ſtronger motiue cannot be yeelded then the¹²⁵² example of Chriſt. Example in it ſelfe is of great force to prouoke vs to doe any thing: eſpecially if it be the example of ſome great one, a man of place and renoune.

1. 1252. Chriſts example the greateſt motiue that can be.

But who greater then Chriſt? What more worthy patterne? If (as was¹²⁵³ ſhewed) the example of the Church be of great force to moue wiues to be ſubiect to their husbands, the example of Chriſt muſt needs be of much greater force to moue husbands to loue their wiues. A great honour it is to be like vnto Chriſt: and his example is a perfect patterne.

1. 1253. Treat. 3. §. 74.

Two things there be which in Chriſts example are eſpecially¹²⁵⁴ to be noted to moue husbands to loue their wiues.

1. 1254. Two things in Chriſts patterne prouoke huſbands to loue their wiues.

1. That great inequality which is betwixt him and his ſpouſe.

2. That ſmall benefit which he reapeth by louing her.

For the better diſcerning of that inequality, the greatneſſe of¹²⁵⁵ Chriſt on the one ſide, and the meaneſſe of the Church on the other, are duly to be weighed.

1. 1255. 1. The great inequality betwixt Chriſt and his ſpouſe.

Chriſts greatneſſe is in Scripture ſet forth by comparing him with creatures, and the Creator. Compared with creatures he is farre more excellent then the moſt excellent, as the Apoſtle by many arguments proueth in the firſt chapter to Hebr. that whole chapter is ſpent in proofe of this point: And in p. 423 another place it is ſaid that¹²⁵⁶ He is ſet farre aboue all principality and power, and might, and dominion, and euery name that is named not only in this world, but alſo in that which is to come.

1. 1256. Eph. 1. 21. [moved in the edition]

Compared with the Creator he is no whit inferiour to him, but¹²⁵⁷ equall:¹²⁵⁸ Being the brightneſſe of glory, and the expreſſe image of his perſon: and that¹²⁵⁹ word of whom it is ſaid, In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God: All things were made by him &c. So as he is the very Creator himſelfe, eternall, infinite, incomprehenſible. Thus is Chriſts greatneſſe inexplicable.

1. 1257. Phil. 2. 6. [moved in the edition]
2. 1258. Heb. 1. 3. [moved in the edition]
3. 1259. Iob. 1. 1, 3. [moved in the edition]

The meaneſſe of the Church is as low on the other ſide: ſhe is a creature, faſhioned out of the earth, proceeding from the loines of corrupt Adam, not only finite, but in it ſelfe vile and baſe: The Prophet¹²⁶⁰ Ezechiel doth ſet her forth in her liuely colours as ſhe is in her ſelfe. Compared therefore vnto Chriſt ſhe is¹²⁶¹ nothing, leſſe then nothing. What equality, what proportion can there then be betwixt Chriſt and her?

1. 1260. Ezec. 16. 1. &c. [moved in the edition]
2. 1261. Iſa. 40. 17. [moved in the edition]

But if man and woman be compared together, we ſhall finde a neere equality: and that both in the points of their humiliation, and alſo of their exaltation. In regard of the former, they are both of the ſame mould, of the ſame corrupt nature, ſubiect to the ſame infirmities, at length brought to the ſame end. In regard of the latter the beſt and greateſt priuiledges are common to both of them: they are both made after the ſame image, redeemed by the ſame price, partakers of the ſame grace, and heires together of the ſame inheritance.

Anſw. Only outward and momentany. Outward, in the things of this world only: for¹²⁶² in Chriſt Ieſus they are both one. Momentany, for the time of this life only: for¹²⁶³ in the reſurrection they neither marie, nor are giuen in mariage, but are as the Angels of God in heauen: then all ſubiection of wiues to husbands ceaſeth.

1. 1262. Gal. 3. 28. [moved in the edition]
2. 1263. Mat. 22. 30. [moved in the edition]

To conclude this point, the inequality betwixt Chriſt and the Church, and equality betwixt man and wife being ſuch as hath beene declared; ſeeing Chriſt vouchſafeth to loue his Church, ought not man thereby be moued to loue his wife?

p. 424 The other point concerning the ſmall benefit which Chriſt¹²⁶⁴ reapeth by his Church, will yet further inforce the point: for illuſtration whereof we will note the great benefit which man reapeth by his wife.

1. 1264. 2. The ſmall benefit that Chriſt reapeth by louing his Church.

The benefit which Chriſt reapeth from the Church is in one word nothing. For Chriſt is in himſelfe Al-ſufficient: he neither needeth any thing, nor can receiue any thing:¹²⁶⁵ If thou be eſt righteous, what giueſt thou to him? Or what receiueth he of thine hand? Yet abundantly he beſtoweth all manner of gifts, temporall, and ſpirituall, earthly and heauenly. It was not therefore his owne good that he reſpected in louing the Church, but her good: for he being¹²⁶⁶ God became man; being Lord of heauen and earth, he tooke vpon him¹²⁶⁷ the forme of a ſeruant; being¹²⁶⁸ rich he became poore: hauing the¹²⁶⁹ Keyes of hell and of death, and being¹²⁷⁰ the Lord of life, he¹²⁷¹ humbled himſelfe, and became obedient vnto the death: thus to ſhew loue to his Church he left much for her ſake, but receiued nothing of her.

1. 1265. Iob 35. 7. [moved in the edition]
2. 1266. 1 Tim. 3. 16. [moved in the edition]
3. 1267. Phil. 2. 6, 7. [moved in the edition]
4. 1268. 2 Cor. 8 9. [moved in the edition]
5. 1269. Reu. 1. 18. [moved in the edition]
6. 1270. Act. 3. 15.
7. 1271. Phil. 2. 8. [moved in the edition]

But the benefit which man reapeth from a wife is very great: for¹²⁷² It was not good for a man to be alone: in ſo much as¹²⁷³ He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing; and that in all the points of goodneſſe, a profitable thing, a comfortable thing, a delightfull thing. They know not the benefit of the maried eſtate, who¹²⁷⁴ prefer ſingle life before it, eſpecially if the maried eſtate be ordered by Gods word, and man and wife carefull to performe their owne duty each to other.

1. 1272. Gen. 2. 18. [moved in the edition]
2. 1273. Pro. 18. 22. [moved in the edition]
3. 1274. See Treat. 2. Part. 1. §. 27.

To apply this point alſo, and to bring it to the concluſion:¹²⁷⁵ If Chriſt who can receiue nothing from the Church notwithſtanding loue her, ought not men much more to loue their wiues, who many waies receiue much good from them, and without whom they cannot well be?

1. 1275. Chriſts example remoueth all pretences which men make for not louing their wiues.

This example of Chriſt is the rather to be noted, becauſe it cleane wipeth away all thoſe falſe colours, and vaine pretences which many alledge as reaſons, to ſhew that there is little reaſon they ſhould loue their wiues: ſome of their pretences are theſe.

1. Their wiues are of a farre meaner ranke then¹²⁷⁶ themſelues; ſhould they then performe duty to their inferiours? p. 425 They commonly who marrie their kitchin maids, or others farre vnder their degree, alledge this pretence.

1. 1276. 1. Obiect.

Anſw. I might reply, That mariage aduanceth a wife to the degree of her husband: and that it was his owne follie to marrie one ſo meane: but for the purpoſe and point in hand, let any tell me, whether the ſuppoſed diſparitie betwixt them & their wiues, be in any degree comparable to that which is betwixt Chriſt and the Church: yet Chriſt thinketh not much to doe duties of loue to his Church.

2. There is nothing in their wiues worthy to be loued.¹²⁷⁷

1. 1277. 2. Obiect.

Anſw. This very thing, that ſuch an one is thy wife, is matter enough to make her worthy of loue. But what was there in the Church to make her worthy of Chriſts loue? If it be ſaid that ſhe is endued with many excellent graces, which make her amiable in Chriſts ſight: I anſwer, that of her ſelfe ſhe hath none of thoſe graces, Chriſt hath beſtowed them vpon her, and ſo made her amiable: and thus oughteſt thou to endeuour by vſing all good meanes thou canſt to make thy wife anſwerable to thy loue: but howſoeuer, to loue her.

3. Their wiues giue iuſt occaſion to be hated by reaſon of their¹²⁷⁸ beeuiſhneſſe, ſtoutneſſe, inſolencie, and other like intolerable vices.

1. 1278. 3. Obiect.

Anſw. No occaſion may ſeeme iuſt to moue an husband to hate his wife: nor any vice ſeeme to him intolerable: with goodnes he ought to ouercome euill. If notorious ſins ſeemed intolerable to Chriſt, or that he thought any occaſion iuſt to cauſe hatred, many that are of his Church would oft draw his hatred vpon them: but Chriſt hateth neuer a member of his Church.

4. There is no hope that euer I ſhall receiue any helpe of my¹²⁷⁹ wife, or benefit from her.

1. 1279. 4. Obiect.

Anſ. There is little charitie in ſuch as can conceiue no hope: for loue hopeth all things: but yet the caſe ſo ſtandeth with Chriſt. The¹²⁸⁰ Church is ſo vtterly vnable to help or benefit him, as he may iuſtly say, he cannot hope to receiue any thing frō her. Chriſt loueth the church for her own good, not for his; ſo ought husbands. Thus if Chriſts example be well weighed, & obſerued of husbands, it will afford matter enough to remoue euery doubt or ſcruple raiſed to alienate their affections from their wiues. Fitly therefore hath the p. 426 Apoſtle ſet it before husbands, both to direct them how to loue their wiues, and alſo to moue them ſo to doe.

1. 1280. 1. Cor. 13. 7. [moved in the edition]

To the ſame purpoſe that Chriſts example tendeth, tendeth alſo the patterne of a mans ſelfe. Great is the affection that a man beareth to himſelfe, to his owne fleſh, his owne bodie: he neuer hateth, but euer loueth himſelfe: no ſore, no diſeaſe, no paine, no ſtinch that the fleſh bringeth to a man, can make him hate it: but rather all manner of infirmities doe make him the more to pitty, tender, and cheriſh it. This is a worke of nature: the moſt heatheniſh, and barbarous, that euer were, doe it. Now a wife being to a man as his bodie and his fleſh (for they two are one fleſh) and God hauing commanded men to loue their wiues as their owne bodies, theſe concluſions will neceſſarily follow from this motiue:

1. He that loueth not his wife is more caried with the inſtinct of nature, then with the expreſſe charge of the God of nature. Natures inſtinct moueth him to loue his bodie. But Gods expreſſe charge moueth him not, to loue his wife.

2. He that loueth not his wife is worſe then an infidell and a barbarian, yea then a very beaſt: for all theſe loue their owne bodies, and their owne fleſh: but a wife (by Gods ordinance) is as ones bodie, and his fleſh.

3. He that loueth his wife loueth himſelfe: the Apoſtle himſelfe¹²⁸¹ in theſe very words layeth downe this concluſion: from whence by the rule of contraries this alſo will follow, He that loueth not his wife, loueth not himſelfe.

1. 1281. verſ. 28.

4. He that loueth not his wife cannot but bring woe and miſchiefe vpon himſelfe. For the damage and miſchiefe which followeth on a wife, through any neglect of dutie on her husband part, followeth alſo on him: as the miſchiefe which followeth on the bodie through any negligence of the head, lighteth alſo on the head.

If theſe be not motiues ſufficient to prouoke an husband to loue his wife, I know not what can be ſufficient.