Children Showing Respect for Parents

EPHES. 6. 1. Children obey your Parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2. Honour thy father and mother (which is the first commandement with promiſe.) 3. That it may be well with thee: and thou maiſt liue long on the earth.

THe ſecond couple in a familie are

• Parents.
• Children.

In laying downe their duties, the Apoſtle beginneth with children: his direction, and inſtigation vnto them is laid downe in the three firſt verſes of the ſixt chapter: wherein

• 1. He declareth their dutie.
• 2. He addeth reaſons to inforce the ſame.

In laying downe their dutie he noteth three points.

• 1. Wherein it conſiſteth, (obey, honour.)
• 2. To whom it is to be performed (your parents.)
• 3. After what manner it is to be done (in the Lord.)

The reaſons vſed by the Apoſtle are foure.

• 1. The place of parents (in the Lord.)
• 2. The aequitie of the thing (this is right.)
• 3. The charge of God (Honour thy father, &c.)
• 4. The reward promiſed (That it may goe well, &c.)

p. 428 Vnder this word (obey) which the Apoſtle vſeth, and that word (honour) which the law vſeth, are all thoſe duties compriſed, which any where thorowout the whole Scripture are inioyned to children.

We will therefore ſet them downe in ſome order, and handle them diſtinctly one after another.

• 1. The Fountaine of childrens duties is to be ſearched out.
• 2. The Streames that flow from thence are to be obſerued.

The Fountaine is an inward diſpoſition of the heart compounded of loue and feare.

The Streames iſſuing from thence extend vnto parents, both while they are liuing, and alſo when they are dead.

Childrens duties which are to be performed to their parents while they liue, haue reſpect to their Authoritie.

Neceſſitie.

The Authoritie of parents requireth of children Reuerence.

Obedience.

Their Neceſſitie requireth Recompence.

The duties which children owe to their parents deceaſed, reſpect their Body.

Credit.

Their Body with decency muſt be buried.

Their Credit with honour muſt be maintained.

I make the fountaine of childrens duties to be a mixed and compound diſpoſition, in reſpect of that authoritie and affection which is mixed together in parents. The authoritie of parents requireth feare in children: and their affection, loue. So intire and ſo ardent is parents affection towards their children, as it would make children too bold and inſolent if there were not authoritie mixed therewith to worke feare: and ſo ſupreme and abſolute is their authoritie ouer them, as it would make children like ſlaues to dread their parents, if a fatherly affection were not tempered therewith to breed loue. But both theſe ioyned together make a very good compoſition: loue like ſugar ſweetneth feare, and feare like ſalt ſeaſoneth loue: and thus, to ioyne them both together, it is a louing-feare, or a fearingloue, which is the ground of childrens duties.

p. 429 Where Chriſt forbiddeth an exceſſiue loue in children to¹ their parents, he implieth that parents are a fit obiect for children to loue (ſo as their loue be wel moderated:) yea he implieth that it is an affection euen by nature ingraffed in children to loue their parents. Ioſeph is commended vnto children as a worthy patterne in louing his father, and that from his youth till the deceaſe of his father: in teſtimony whereof in his younger yeeres he brought to his father the euill report of his² brethren, whereby he incurred their enuie and hatred, which he would neuer haue done, if he had not loued his father: and hauing beene long abſent from his father, when by Gods prouidence there was offered an occaſion for him to meet with his brethren, one of his firſt queſtions to them was about their father:³ and hearing that he was liuing, he thought it not enough to ſend him food for his need, but muſt alſo needs ſee his face,⁴ and haue him dwell with him: and while his father was in the way he went out to meet him, and at firſt ſight fell on his neck,⁵ and wept a good while (a token of great affection.)

1. 1. Mat. 10. 37.
2. 2. Gen. 37. 2.
3. 3. Gen. 43. 7.
4. 4. Gen. 45. 9.
5. 5. Gen. 46. 29.

That loue which naturally parents beare to their children,⁶ ought in equitie to breed in children a loue to their parents. For loue deſerueth loue: and moſt vnworthy are they to be loued, who cannot loue againe. The loue of parents aboue all others is to be anſwered with loue on childrens part to the vttermoſt of their power, becauſe it is free, great, and conſtant.

1. 6. Reaſons. 1. Equitie.

Beſides, there is a neceſſitie of loue in children to their parents,⁷ leſt for want thereof, their ſubiection (which of all others ought to be moſt free) ſhould turne into ſlauiſh ſeruitude.

1. 7. 2 Neceſſitie.

This ought children the rather to labour after, becauſe by nature they are nothing ſo prone to loue their parents, as their parents are to loue them. Loue is weightie, and, as weighty things, it deſcendeth. Children therefore with conſcience of dutie muſt labour to make ſupply of this defect, and helpe nature by grace. I denie not but naturally there is in children a greater loue to their parents, then to others: yet in compariſon of the heat of parents loue to them, their loue to their parents is but cold. Wherfore as the heat of the Sun ſhining much and long on a ſtone wall, draweth a reflection of heat from that wall: ſo the hot beames of parents loue, which with p. 430 feruency and conſtancy is caſt on children, ought to prouoke and ſtirre vp children to ſend forth a reflection of loue on their parents.

Two extreames are contrary to this affection of loue.

One is want of naturall affection, which is a vice moſt odious⁸ and abominable in all, but moſt of all in children. The Apoſtle reckoneth this among the moſt heighnous vices that be.

1. 8. ἀστοργία. Rom. 1. 30. 2 Tim. 3. 3.

The other is hatred and deſpight of parents: a vice more then monſtrous, and vnnaturall. From thence commeth mocking and curſing of parents, whereof we ſhall afterwards heare.

To the forenamed dutie of loue, muſt feare be added, which is a childes awfull reſpect of his parent.

This awfull reſpect ariſeth from an honourable eſteeme which a childe in his iudgement and opinion hath of his parent, as he is his parent; and from it proceedeth on the one ſide, a deſire and indeauour in all things to pleaſe the parent, and on the other ſide a loathneſſe to offend him.

In this reſpect the feare of a childe is oppoſed to the feare of a ſlaue. For a childes feare being mixed with loue, hath reſpect to the offence which a parent may take; but a ſlaues feare, which is ordinarily mixed with hatred, hath reſpect to nothing but the puniſhment which his maſter may inflict vpon him. The forenamed feare is ſo proper to children, as that awfull reſpect which the Saints beare to God, is called a⁹ ſiliall or child-like feare.

1. 9. See Treat. 1. §. 4.

This feare in a childe is an eſpeciall branch of that¹⁰ honour which the law requireth of children to their parents: and it is in¹¹ expreſſe termes inioyned to children by the law. That phraſe which God vſeth of Miriam (¹² If her father had but ſpit in her face, ſhould ſhe not be aſhamed ſeuen daies?) ſheweth that there ought to be ſuch a feare of the parent in a childes heart, as ſhould worke ſhame in it when the parent is offended.

1. 10. Exo. 20. 12. [moved in the edition]
2. 11. Leu. 19. 3.
3. 12. Num. 12. 14. [moved in the edition]

A worthy patterne we haue hereof in¹³ Iaakob, who was loath to gaine the bleſſing with offence of his father.

1. 13. Gen. 27. 12. [moved in the edition]

This feare keepeth loue in compaſſe: and reſtraineth a childe¹⁴ from ouermuch ſaucineſſe, and malipartneſſe.

1. 14. Reaſons. 1. Feare ordereth loue.

p. 431 And it is a cauſe of a childes reuerend and dutifull carriage¹⁵ to his parent. For as the heart is affected the carriage will be ordered.

1. 15. 2. It well guideth the carriage.

Contrary hereunto is that light, or (which is more abominable)¹⁶ that baſe and vile eſteeme of parents, which is in the heart of many children: eſpecially if parents be poore, of low degree, vnlearned, ignorant, or ſubiect to any infirmities. It cannot be but that¹⁷ Cham had too light, if not a baſe eſteeme of his father, when he derided him. A true filiall feare would haue reſtrained him from that extreme.

1. 16. Contrary, light and baſe eſteeme of parents.
2. 17. Gen. 9. 22. [moved in the edition]

Wherefore to breed and cheriſh this feare, and to preuent,¹⁸ or redreſſe the contrary extreme, let children well informe themſelues of their parents place and authoritie, how they are in Gods ſtead, and a meanes vnder God of their childrens being: children haue receiued their very ſubſtance from the ſubstance of their parents. In which reſpect though they ſhould seeme contemptible to others, yet not to their children.

1. 18. How to breed and cheriſh a filiall feare.

Thus much of a childes inward diſpoſition towards his parent. The manifeſtation thereof muſt be by his outward carriage: and that in two things; Reuerence, and Obedience: both which reſpect a parents authoritie.

The outward reuerence which children owe to their parents conſiſteth partly in their ſpeech, partly in their carriage.

Their ſpeech both to and of their parents muſt ſauour reuerence.

To their parents in preſence.

OF their parents in abſence.

In preſence, by refraining their ſpeech.

well framing

For refraining ſpeech two vertues are requiſite Silence.

Patience.

Silence in forbearing to ſpeake.

breaking of ſpeech.¹⁹

1. 19. Children ought to forbeare ſpeaking in their parents preſence

Patience in hearkening to their parents.

The two branches of ſilence, in forbearing to ſpeake (eſpecially when parents are ſpeaking, or till parents giue leaue to p. 432 their children to ſpeake,) and in breaking off ſpeech, when parents come into the place where children are ſpeaking, are tokens of great reuerence. Thus children teſtifie that there are ſome in place whom they much reſpect and honour. Iob doth thus ſet forth the reſpect which Princes and others did beare to him in his proſperitie, The Princes (ſaith he) refrained²⁰ talking, and laid their hand vpon their mouth, the Nobles held their peace, &c. Namely, while he was in preſence, or while he ſpake. The like may be ſaid of childrens patience in induring²¹ their parents ſpeech; which Iob alſo noteth in theſe words, Vnto me men gaue eare, and waited, and kept ſilence. Though parents in their ſpeech ſeeme to be long and tedious, yet muſt children indure it.

1. 20. Iob. 29. 9, 10.
2. 21. Children muſt patiently hearken to their parents ſpeech. Verſ. 25.

And it is very needfull that patience be added to ſilence, becauſe many parents in tender loue of their children, and earneſt deſire of their good, thinke they can neuer ſpeake enough in inſtructing and admoniſhing them. The many exhortations²² giuen in Scripture vnto children to heare, hearken, giue eare, giue heed, marke, and obſerue the words of their parents, doe imply the forenamed ſilence and patience: for they who²³ ought to be ſwift to heare muſt be ſlow to ſpeake. I denie not but much more is intended vnder thoſe phraſes, namely, obedience: yet muſt theſe alſo be preſuppoſed: for he that will not in ſilence patiently hearken to his parents while they ſpeake, will much leſſe obey what they ſay.

1. 22. Gen. 49. 2. Pro. 1. 8, & 4. 1. & 7. 1.
2. 23. Iam 1. 19.

Contrary to ſilence is ſawcineſſe (as we ſpeake) and ouermuch²⁴ boldneſſe in children, when, without due reſpect of their parents preſence, they will be prating of this thing or that thing: inſomuch as if ſtrangers ſhould come into the roome where ſuch children are, they would not thinke that their parents were in preſence; or if they knew it, they might well thinke that ſuch children beare little reſpect to their parents.

1. 24. Contrary, 1. boldneſſe of ſpeech.

Contrary to patience in hearing, is fretting and murmuring²⁵ againſt parents (if at leaſt their ſpeech be any whit long) and flinging or ſlinking away before they haue done. Theſe faults are the greater, if children by their loquacitie, or impatiencie hinder or interrupt their parents ſpeech when they are p. 433 giuing any admonition or inſtruction: for thus they ſhew both too light a reſpect of their parents: and alſo too little regard of the meanes of their owne good.

1. 25. 2. Impatient hearkening to parents.

A childes reuerence in well framing his ſpeech to his parents²⁶ may many waies be manifeſted, as

1. 26. A childs reuerence in ſpeech is manifeſted, 1. By reuerend titles.

1. By giuing vnto them reuerend and honourable titles. No title can be more honourable then that which is moſt proper and vſuall, Father to the one parent, and Mother to the other. God taketh the title²⁷ Father vnto himſelfe, as a title of great dignity.

1. 27. Jer. 31. 9. Gal. 4. 6. [moved in the edition]

Anſw. This is not ſimply to be taken of the title it ſelfe, but of the minde of him that giueth or affecteth that title.

1. 28. Matt. 23. 9.

If it be affected or giuen to obſcure Gods Fatherhood, or to make a man a Father of himſelfe without dependance on God, or reference to him, who is properly the father of all, it is an impious and ſacrilegious title. But otherwiſe lawfull and warrantable.

In Scripture the title Father is giuen to all degrees of dignities among men, as to²⁹ Kings,³⁰ Captaines, and other chiefe Gouernours, to³¹ Prieſts,³² Prophets,³³ Apoſtles, and other³⁴ Miniſters. In the fift commandement all ſuperiours are comprised vnder it, therefore Father is a title of great honour: and by the rule of relation Mother is a title of as great honour to the female ſex. Religious and dutifull children haue euer vſed to giue thoſe titles to their parents. My Father, ſaith³⁵ Iſaak to Abraham, and³⁶ Iaakob to Iſaak.³⁷ My Mother, ſaith Salomon to Bathſheba. I finde alſo the title of³⁸ Sir or Lord, vſed: a title³⁹ of honour.

1. 29. 1 Sam. 24. 12. [moved in the edition]
2. 30. 2 Kin. 5. 13. [moved in the edition]
3. 31. Judg. 18. 19. [moved in the edition]
4. 32. 2 King. 6. 21. [moved in the edition]
5. 33. 1 Cor. 4. 15. [moved in the edition]
6. 34. 1 Tim. 5. 1. [moved in the edition]
7. 35. Gen. 22. 7. [moved in the edition]
8. 36. & 27. 18. [moved in the edition]
9. 37. 1 King. 2. 20. [moved in the edition]
10. 38. Matt. 21. 30. [moved in the edition]
11. 39. κύριε. Gen. 31. 35. אדני

2. By vſing few words before their parents: and thoſe few⁴⁰ not without iuſt occaſion, being firſt ſpoken to by their parents, or hauing leaue of them, or making knowne to them me needfull matter: at leaſt not againſt their parents liking, as their parents ſhould be offended thereby. And if they obſerue their parents to be vnwilling to heare them ſpeake any more of ſuch and ſuch a matter, then ought they to lay their p. 434 hands vpon their mouthes, as Iſaak (Gen. 22. 7.) and Iaakob (Gen. 27. 12.) This is a token of great reſpect.

1. 40. 2. By few words.

3. By meeke and humble ſpeeches. Such was the ſpeech of⁴¹⁴² Ionathan the naturall ſonne of Saul, and of⁴³ Dauid his ſon in law, wherewith he was much contented, and his wrath pacified.

1. 41. 3. By humble ſpeech.
2. 42. 1 Sam. 19 4. [moved in the edition]
3. 43. & 24. 10. [moved in the edition]

4. By obſeruing a fit opportunity: as when parents are not⁴⁴ ſeriouſly buſied, or in company, or in paſſion. When⁴⁵ Saul was out of paſſion, how well did he accept Ionathans Apologie for Dauid? but⁴⁶ in his paſſion, how ill did he take it? This wiſe obſeruing of fit opportunity ſheweth great reuerence.

1. 44. 4 By ſeaſonable ſpeech.
2. 45. 1 Sam. 19. 6. [moved in the edition]
3. 46. & 20. 30.

5. By a preſent, ready, willing, pleaſing anſwer, when by⁴⁷ their parents they ſhall be ſpoken vnto. Eli was as a father to Samuel: therefore when⁴⁸ Samuel thought that Eli called him, he preſently and readily anſwered, Here am I: and when Eli was inſtant to know what the Lord had ſaid to him,⁴⁹ Samuel told him euery whit, and held nothing from him.⁵⁰ The younger ſon (noted in the parable) ſhewed a ſonne-like reuerence in giuing a willing and ready anſwer to his father, though he failed in his obedience, by not performing what he promiſed.

1. 47. 5. By ready anſwers.
2. 48. 1 Sam. 3. 4, 6, [moved in the edition]
3. 49. 18. [moved in the edition]
4. 50. Mat. 21. 30.

Contrary to thoſe branches of reuerence in ſpeech are,⁵¹

1. 51. Contrary, 1. Scorning to acknowledge a parent.

1. Pride: when children ſcorne to giue the title of Father, or Mother, to their parents. This is the minde of many who haue gotten more wealth or honour, then euer their parents had. In publicke eſpecially ſuch children moſt refuſe to giue thoſe titles. Salomon was not ſo minded. He being a great king, ſitting vpon his throne, in ſight and hearing of all his people that were about him, called Bathſheba Mother.⁵²

1. 52. 1 King. 2. 20.

If children had that regard to the honour of their parents which they ſhould, they being themſelues in places of honour and dignity, would the rather openly call their parents Father and Mother, that they might be knowne to be the father and mother of ſo eminent a perſon.

2. Loquacity, and too much importunity, or rather impudency⁵³ in ſpeech, when children hauing to doe with their parents, can neuer haue done (as we ſpeake) but muſt needs vrge p. 435 matters to the very vttermoſt. Many parents are oft much prouoked hereby. It skilleth not that the childe haue the right, eſpecially in a matter of no great conſequence. For reuerence ſake the childe muſt forbeare, at leaſt for a time. And if the matter of difference be weighty, as in points of religion, the child muſt either take ſome other opportunity of better informing his parent, or elſe get ſome other wiſe friend to doe it.

1. 53. 2. Too much importunitie.

3. Stoutneſſe, when children anſwer their parents as if they⁵⁴ were their equals: giuing word for word. It doth as ill become children to anſwer againe, as ſeruants (to whom the Apoſtle hath expreſly forbidden it, Tit. 2. 9.) Both law and nature forbiddeth children to be prouoked hereunto, by any thing that their parents ſay or doe; how great then is their fault who giue ſcornefull and ſtout words to their parents when they are no way prouoked, as the elder ſonne noted in the parable, and the elder brother of the prodigall childe?

1. 54. 3. Stout anſwers. Ne filius cum patre quoquo modo expoſtulet, cum lex interdixit, tum anteleges ipſa natura. Greg. Naz. in ſenten. Matt. 21. 29. Luke 15. 29.

4. Indiſcretion, when children haue no reſpect to any time, buſineſſe, or temper, of their parents in ſpeaking to them, and⁵⁵ ſo, much prouoke them. It is laid downe as a caueat to parents, that they prouoke not their children to wrath. How much more muſt children obſerue that cauear?

1. 55. 4. Vnſeaſonable ſpeech. Epheſ. 6. 4.

5. Stubborneſſe, when children pout, loure, ſwell, and giue⁵⁶ no anſwer at all to their parents. This is too common a fault in children, and many parents are much offended and grieued thereat. We heard⁵⁷ before of a childelike ſilence which was very commendable, and a token of great reuerence; but this is worthy of much blame, a token of great vndutifulneſſe; and carefully to be avoided, as that to be practiſed.

1. 56. 5. Stomachfull ſilence.
2. 57. §. 4.

So true and intire ought that reuerend reſpect to be which children beare to their parents, as their ſpeech not only to them before their faces, but alſo of them behinde their backes, muſt be ſo framed both for matter and manner, when they haue any occaſion to fall into ſpeech of their parents, as all that heare them may note them to beare a reuererend reſpect to their parents.⁵⁸

1. 58. Direction for children how to ſpeake of their parents.

As a generall direction for the better performing of this duty, let children ſpeake nothing of their parents that they p. 436 would be loath ſhould come to their parents eare. More particularly, let them ſpeake of thoſe things which moſt tend to their commendation, that ſo (as Chriſt ſaid of his father⁵⁹) they may honour their parents. Let other things be buried in ſilence ſo much as in them lieth. And if others ſpeake of matters diſgracefull to their parents, let them interpret in the better ſenſe things doubtfull, and, ſo farre as they may, extenuate things euident, and ſharply reproue them that ſlander their parents. This is that bleſſing which children owe to their parents, for neglecting whereof the wiſeman taxeth children ſaying, There is a generation that doth not bleſſe their⁶⁰ mother.

1. 59. Iohn 8. 49.
2. 60. Prou. 30. 11.

Contrary to that kinde of bleſſing is diſcouering of parents⁶¹ infirmities, noted in curſed⁶² Cham, and broaching vntruths of them, noted in impious⁶³ Abſolom, and mocking and curſing them⁶⁴ expreſly condemned. The reward whereof is by⁶⁵ Gods law death: yea a ſhamefull and ignominious death, for the⁶⁶ Rauens of the valley ſhall plucke out his eies, and the young Eagles ſhall eat it:⁶⁷ which phraſe ſetteth forth the end of a notorious malefactor that is hanged.

1. 61. Childrens vnreuerend ſpeeches of their parents.
2. 62. Gen. 9. 22. [moved in the edition]
3. 63. 2 Sam. 15. 3. [moved in the edition]
4. 64. Prou. 30. 11.
5. 65. Leu. 20. 9.
6. 66. Pro. 30. 17. [moved in the edition]
7. 67. Gen. 40. 19.

As the ſpeech, ſo the cariage of children towards their parents muſt be ſeaſoned with reuerence: for

• 1. This is a fruit, and proofe of filiall feare as well as that.
• 2. Of the two, this is the ſurer euidence: for actions are better ſignes of the diſpoſition of the heart then words.
• 3. Faire words ioyned with contrary deeds, cannot but be accounted meerely complementall and hypocriticall.
• 4. Where there is a contrariety betwixt words and deeds, the one will be a witneſſe againſt the other, and that mans condemnation the greater.⁶⁸

1. 68. Childrens reuerence to their parents manifeſted, 1. by meeting them.

Wherefore let all reuerence be manifeſted in childrens behauiour to their parents, and that in theſe and ſuch like inſtances.

1. If a parent be comming to a childe, and the childe obſerue it, let him haſte to meet his parent: ſo did⁶⁹ Ioſeph to his father, and⁷⁰ Salomon to his mother. Which two examples p. 437 are the rather to be noted, becauſe both were in eminent place: one a great gouernour, the other a king.

1. 69. Gen. 46. 29. [moved in the edition]
2. 70. 1 King. 2. 19.

2. Let ſuch child-like obeiſance be performed as becommeth⁷¹ the age and ſex, either in going to, remaining before, or going from a parent: as vncouering the head, bending the knee, bowing the body, ſtanding vp, with the like. The two forenamed eminent perſons,⁷² Ioſeph and⁷³ Solomon, bowed, the one to his father, the other to his mother.

1. 71. 2. By obeyſance to them.
2. 72. Gen. 48. 12. [moved in the edition]
3. 73. 1 King. 2. 19. [moved in the edition]

3. Let the countenance, and geſture of the body be ſo ſoberly⁷⁴ and modeſtly ordered in the preſence of the parent, as may argue due reſpect.

1. 74. 3 By well compoſing the countenance.

4. Let the vpper place, and hand be giuen to parents: and⁷⁵ if occaſionally a childe be aboue his parent, let him come below him. For that is a manifeſt token of inferiority and ſubiection. What maketh men to ſtriue for the vpper hand, but becauſe they would be accounted better then thoſe with whom they ſtriue? But that ought not to be the minde of children to their parents.

1. 75. 4. By giuing the vpper hand.

Anſw. No honour is comparable to the dignity of fatherhood: it giueth a greater eminency to the parent ouer his childe, then any other honour can to the childe ouer his parent. I grant that a childe may by ſome office, and outward dignity be ſo aduanced aboue his father, as other men may more honour and reuerence the childe, and giue the vpper place to him: and for order ſake the childe may and ought to take it in company: but when they are alone, the childe muſt rather reuerence the father.

5. According to the cuſtome of the time and place wherein⁷⁶ they liue, let children aske their parents bleſſing.

1. 76. 5. By asking bleſſing.

Some doubt is made of this duty both in regard of the thing it ſelfe, and alſo of the geſture of kneeling vſed in the performance thereof: I will therefore diſtinctly proue both.

For the thing, it is noted of Iaakob that he carried ſauory p. 438 meat to his father, that he might bleſſe him: and of Ioſeph, that⁷⁷ he went to his father, and carried his two ſonnes with him,⁷⁸ that his father might bleſſe both him and them: for which end the twelue ſonnes of Iaakob aſſembled to their father.⁷⁹

1. 77. Gen. 27. 19. [moved in the edition]
2. 78. Gen. 48. 1. &c.
3. 79. Gen. 49. 1. &c. How the bleſſings which the patriarchs gaue their children are patterns to others.

Obiect. Theſe were extraordinary examples: the Patriarchs were indued with the ſpirit of propheſie, whereby they reuealed to their children what their eſtate ſhould be in the times to come: for knowledge whereof their children came to them.

1. Anſw. Their bleſſings were more then predictions of things to come: they were confirmations and aſſurances to the⁸⁰ children that God would indeed performe that bleſſing which their parents had pronounced. For they ſuſtained a double perſon: the perſon of a Prophet, and of a father; as prophets they foretold things to come: as fathers they obtained the bleſſings pronounced, and an aſſurance thereof to their children,⁸¹ and that by faith and praier.

1. 80. See Treat. 6. §. 58.
2. 81. Heb. 11. 20. [moved in the edition]

2. Anſw. Though all parents cannot with ſuch an extraordinary ſpirit aſſure vnto their children any diſtinct particular bleſſing, yet the faithfull praier of parents is an eſpeciall, and ordinary meanes to obtaine a bleſſing from God vpon their children: and that becauſe of Gods promiſe which extends⁸² it ſelfe not only to fathfull parents, but alſo to their ſeed. Wherefore as the children of the patriarches came to their fathers to be aſſured of ſome extraordinary bleſſing, ſo may other children goe to their parents as a meanes to obtaine an ordinary bleſſing. It is noted of Eliah that by an extraordinary ſpirit in praier he obtained extraordinary matters: Yet⁸³ the Apoſtle ſetteth forth that example to all Chriſtians as a motiue to ſtirre them vp in faith to pray for ordinary bleſſings. But for further clearing of this point, note the phraſe⁸⁴ vſed in the fift commandement as a reaſon to moue children to honour their parents: this it is word for word, That they may prolong thy daies, &c. how can parents prolong their childrens daies, but by begging that bleſſing of God?⁸⁵ The praiers then of parents are a great bleſſing to children, and children ought to ſeeke this bleſſing of their parents.

1. 82. Gen. 17. 7. Act. 2. 39.
2. 83. Iam. 5. 17. [moved in the edition]
3. 84. למען יארכון ימיך
4. 85. See Treat. 6. §. 4. Prou. 15. 8. How wicked parents may bleſſe their children.

Obiect. If parents be wicked, their praier is abomination: p. 439 what bleſſing then can children looke for from wicked parents?

Anſw. Though God heare not wicked parents in loue and goodneſſe to themſelues, yet for the good of their children he may and will heare them: and that the rather to maintaine a reuerend reſpect of parents in the heart of their children. For asking a bleſſing is an acknowledgement of ſuperiority and authority, according to that of the Apoſtle, The leſſe is bleſſed⁸⁶ of the greater.

1. 86. Heb. 7. 7.

Concerning the geſture of kneeling, it is anſwerable to the⁸⁷ geſture which of old was vſed by Gods people in like caſe: of Ioſeph it is ſaid that he bowed downe himſelfe with his face to the earth.

1. 87. It is lawfull for children to kneele to their parents. Gen. 48. 12.

Anſw. It is not ſo proper, but that it may be vſed in ciuill caſes: elſe Chriſt would haue reproued the young man for kneeling before him as well as for calling him good: for he conceiued⁸⁸ Chriſt to be but a meere man, and the worſhip he did him was but ciuill.

1. 88. Mar. 10. 17. [moved in the edition]

It is not ſimply the geſture, but the occaſion of the geſture, the minde of him that performeth it, and the end why he performeth it that maketh it diuine, or ciuill. Cornelius fell down before Peter with conceit of ſome diuine excellency in him, and was not allowed: his manner of worſhiping was diuine. The iaylor fell downe before Paul and Silas in acknowledgement of ſome outward eminency in them, and was not reproued: his manner of worſhipping was meerely ciuill. The ſame geſture may be performed to different perſons with a different reſpect. A childe may kneele to his parent, and to the king. Yet it followeth not that he maketh his parent a king. Neither will it follow that by kneeling to his parent he maketh him a God, becauſe men kneele to God.

Contrary to the forenamed branches of reuerend geſture, are,⁸⁹

1. 89. Vnreuerend geſtures of children.

1. Rudeneſſe and vnmannerlineſſe, when children know not how to put difference betwixt their parents and ſtrangers, but can⁹⁰ p. 440 ſuffer their parents to come to them, and they abide in their place and not ſtirre to meet them.

1. 90. 1. Rudeneſſe.

2. Diſdainfull ſtatelineſſe, when they thinke much to ſtand⁹¹ bare-headed any while in their parents preſence. It falleth out many times, that when parents and children are together before their betters, they will ſhew more reuerence then theſe: for the father will ſtand, and be vncouered, when the ſonne ſitteth downe and puts on his hat, vpon conceit that his father doth more reuerence then is meet: but if it were ſo, yet the ſonne for the fathers ſake ſhould ſtoope ſomewhat the lower.

1. 91. 2. Statelineſſe.

3. Wantonneſſe and boldneſſe, when children are ouer-familiar⁹² with their parents: toying and gigling vpon euery light occaſion. This kinde of cariage cannot but much tend to the diſgrace and diſhonour of parents. For what can they who behold it thinke, but that ſuch children haue beene too much cockered and ill nurtered?

1. 92. 3. Boldneſſe.

4. Ambition, when children are ſo ambitiouſly deſirous of place,⁹³ eſpecially in companie, as rather then be vnder ſome whom they ſuppoſe to be at leaſt their equals, they will be aboue their parents. This oft falleth out, when parents being of a lowly minde, giue place to ſuch as their children, being of a lofty minde, thinke meaner then themſelues. Now rather then they will be vnder their inferiours (as they ſuppoſe) they will be aboue their parents. A point of great inſolencie. Such ought to be the reſpect of a childe to his parent, as he ſhould debaſe himſelfe below thoſe that are his inferiours, rather then exalt himſelfe aboue his parent. As with other men, for peace ſake, in many caſes, a man muſt depart from his right; ſo eſpecially with his parent, in caſe of ſuperioritie. Would not euery one that knowes what honour a childe owes to a father, condemne that childs ambition, that ſhould ſo ſtand vpon the place and hand, as to take them of his parent?

1. 93. 4. Ambition.

5. An ouer-nice and erroneous opinion of thoſe, who thinke it⁹⁴ vnmeet for any childe to aske their parents bleſſing. Their owne conceit more ſwayeth them, then the continuali approued practiſe of Gods people in all ages: not vnlike him whom Solomon ſaith to be wiſer in his owne conceit, then ſeuen men that can render⁹⁵ a reaſon. Others, though they doe not ſo generally disallow this p. 441 dutie, yet they thinke it meet only for yong children: not conſidering of what yeeres, ſtature, and ſtate, Ioſeph was, when he performed it.

1. 94. 5. Refuſing to aske bleſſing.
2. 95. Pro. 26. 16.

As for thoſe, who thinke it not vnlawfull, yet careleſly neglect it, they little conſider the benefit of a parents bleſſing. Profane Eſau ſhall another day riſe vp in iudgement againſt them. He⁹⁶ beggd and beggd againe and againe, and that with a loud cry and ſalt teares, a bleſſing of his father.

1. 96. Gen 27. 34. Heb. 12 17. [moved in the edition]

Thus much of childrens reuerence. Their obedience followeth.