Children Getting Parents’ Permission

The obedience of children doth moſt proue the authoritie of parents, and is the ſureſt euidence of the honour a childe giueth to his parent: therefore is it⁹⁷ by name in the text expreſſed, and all other duties are compriſed vnder it. Reuerence without obedience is a meere mockage, nothing at all acceptable. Of the two, a childe were better faile in the former: inſtance the⁹⁸ parable of the two ſonnes. Reuerence in compariſon of obedience is but a complementall honour. Obedience is a true reall honour; the ſureſt triall of a dutifull childe. Obedience is a dutie ſo proper to children, as the Apoſtle applieth it to them as a proper attribute, ſaying,⁹⁹ as obedient children faſhion not, &c. The example of Chriſt is herein ſet before vs as a patterne:¹⁰⁰ he was ſubiect to his parents. Solomon counteth the neglect thereof a¹⁰¹ deſpiſing of a parent.

1. 97. Eph. 6. 1. Col. 3. 20.
2. 98. Matt. 21. 31.
3. 99. 1 Pet. 1. 14. [moved in the edition]
4. 100. Luk. 2. 5 1. [moved in the edition]
5. 101. Pro. 23. 22. [moved in the edition]

Contrary is diſobedience and rebellion: the greateſt impeachment¹⁰² of parents authoritie that can be. For to what end is authoritie ouer thoſe who reſiſt it, and rebell againſt it? The¹⁰³ Apoſtle reckoneth diſobedient children among the lewdeſt perſons that be: and ſetteth forth their diſobedience by¹⁰⁴ a metaphor taken from vntamed, head-ſtrong beaſts, that will not be brought vnder the yoke: the word therefore is not vnfitly tranſlated vnruly: and it is ſomewhat anſwerable to an¹⁰⁵ Hebrew phraſe giuen to diſobedient children, viz. ſonnes of Belial, which is according to the notation as much as ſonnes without profit; or, as ſome will haue it, ſonnes without yoke, that is, ſuch children, as refuſing to be in ſubiection vnto parents, are no way profitable, but worke much p. 442 miſchiefe, and cauſe great griefe. The¹⁰⁶ puniſhment which by Gods law was appointed to diſobedient and rebellious children, was a publike ſhamefull death.

1. 102. Diſobedience moſt contrary to parents authoritie.
2. 103. 2 Tim. 3. 2.
3. 104. Tit 1. 6. τέκνα ἀνυπότακτα.
4. 105. Deut. 13. 13. בני־בליעל ex non & profuit. Hier. abſque iugo. quaſi בלי עול
5. 106. Deut. 21. 18, &c.

That children may the better know their dutie in this reſpect,¹⁰⁷ I will diſtinctly ſet forth, both the parts, and alſo the extent of a childs obedience:

• 1. Wherein it conſiſteth.
• 2. How farre it extendeth.

1. 107. The parts of a childs obedience.

The generall parts wherein it conſiſteth are two:

1. A forbearance from doing things without conſent of parents.¹⁰⁸

1. 108. Of the ſeuerall wayes whereby conſent may be giuen, ſee Treat. 3.

2. A performance of ſuch things as parents will haue done.

The former of theſe is a dutie whereunto children are muſt bound while they are vnder their parents gouernment. For that¹⁰⁹ time the conſent of parents is not only meet, but neceſſarie: and that for theſe reaſons.

1. 109. §. 19. Num. 30. 17. [moved in the edition]

1. Children are as the goods of their parents, wholly in their power, to be ordered and diſpoſed by them. On this ground Satan hauing all that Iob had put into his hand, tooke libertie ouer¹¹⁰ his children as well as ouer his goods and chattell.

1. 110. Iob 1. 12, 19.

2. Children while they be vnder gouernment, (euen the eldeſt that are heires) differ nothing from ſeruants.¹¹¹

1. 111. Galat. 4. 1.

3. By Gods law giuen to the Iewes, parents had power to ſell¹¹² their children.

1. 112. Exod. 21. 7.

4. Parents had power to diſanull ſuch things as children had done. Inſtance the caſe of a vow made to God, which was one of¹¹³ the moſt inuiolable things that one could doe.

1. 113. Num. 30. 4. [moved in the edition]

Contrary is the opinion and practiſe of many, who hold parents conſent at the moſt but a matter of conueniencie: that it is good, if children will, to haue their parents conſent: if they haue it not, the matter is not great: their contracts or other things which they doe, are as firme, and good, without, as with their conſents. If this were ſo, wherein is the authoritie of a parent more then of a wiſe experienced friend? It is meet, and good to haue ſuch an ones conſent.

But that the power of parents, and dutie of children in this p. 443 point, may the better be ſeene, I will exemplifie it in fiue particular caſes. 1. Entring into a calling. 2. Making mariage. 3. Diſpoſing of goods. 4. Ordering apparell. 5. Making vowes.

I. That children ought to haue the conſent of their parents in making choiſe of their calling, and not place themſelues as they pleaſe, is euident by the approued practiſe of the Saints recorded in Gods word.¹¹⁴ Iaakob was ſent by his parents to Laban to be educated vnder him.¹¹⁵ Dauid was appointed by his father to keep ſheepe: when Saul was deſirous to haue Dauid attend vpon him, he ſent to Iſhai, Dauids father, for him. In that¹¹⁶ Iſhai was so carefull to ſend prouiſion to his three eldeſt ſons that followed Saul to the warre, we may well thinke, that they went to the warre with his conſent. It is noted of¹¹⁷ Ionadab, that he appointed his sonnes to dwell in tents, and that accordingly they did ſo, and are commended and rewarded for this their obedience. It is collected both by¹¹⁸ ancient and¹¹⁹ later Diuines, that our Lord Ieſus Chriſt¹²⁰ in his younger yeeres, before he began to exerciſe his publike miniſterie, occupied himſelfe in his fathers trade: and that this was the thing wherein he manifeſted his ſubiection to his parents. This collection is made by comparing Luk. 2. 51. (where his ſubiection is noted) with Mar. 6. 3. and Mat. 13. 55. where he is called¹²¹ the Carpenter, and the Carpenters ſonne.

1. 114. Gen. 28. 2. [moved in the edition]
2. 115. 1 Sam. 16. 11, 19. [moved in the edition]
3. 116. 1 Sam. 17. 17. [moved in the edition]
4. 117. Jer. 35. 7. [moved in the edition]
5. 118. Iuſtin. Mart. in Dial. cum Tryph. contr. Iud.
6. 119. Eraſm. paraphr. in Mar. 6. Bez annot. in Mar. 6.
7. 120. Baſil. lib. de vit. ſolit. cap. 15. Theod. Eccl. hiſt. l. 3. 6. 23.
8. 121. Muſcul. in Mat. 13. Danaeus ſchol. in Mar. 6. Gualt. hom. 46. in Mar. Mutheſ. in Mar. 6. alijꝗ. Reaſons.

Equitie requireth that parents ſhould haue an hand in placing both their children, becauſe they brought them forth into the world, and brought them vp with much care, paines, and charge, while they were young, and till they were fit for a calling.

Beſides, Godhath laid it as a charge vpon parents, that they should ſee their children well trained vp: great reaſon therefore¹²² at parents conſent be had in ſetting forth children to a calling.¹²³

1. 122. 1. Equitie.
2. 123. 2. Gods charge. Bellarm. de Mon. lib. 2. cap.

Contrary is the opinion of Papiſts, who ſay, that children may¹²⁴ enter into religious orders, not only without conſent, but alſo againſt the minde and good like of their parents. Whereby they doe not only patronize apparent diſobedience in children, againſt p. 444 the expreſſe word of God; but alſo diſable children from helping their parents in caſe of neceſſitie: for both which Chriſt rebuked the Scribes and Phariſies in a like caſe.

1. 124. 36. Licet filijs ingredi religionem inuitis parentibus.

Obiect. Papiſts doe grant that if parents be in ſuch neceſſitie,¹²⁵ as they cannot liue without their childrens helpe, their children may not by entring into any religious order forſake their parents. For they are bound by the law of God to ſuccour their parents.

1. 125. Conditio eſt, vt parentes non ſint in tali neceſſitate, vt ſine ſiliorum auxilio viuere non poſſint. Tunc enim tenentur ex praecepto Dei parentibus adeſſe. Bellarm. loc. cit.

Anſw. 1. This caution hath beene extorted from them by euidence of argument taken from Gods word, and preſſed by their aduerſaries.

2. It toucheth not the principall argument taken from Gods precept, which they make of none effect by this their tradition.

3. Though parents be not at that preſent, when children firſt enter into their religious order, in ſuch extreme need, yet they may be afterwards. But after that children are once entred, they hold it vtterly vnlawfull that children for any neceſſitie of the parent, ſhould attend vpon them for their ſuccour.

Obiect. Children being entred into religious orders may¹²⁶ helpe them, as becommeth religious perſons, by their praiers to God.

1. 126. Eos iuvant quomodo religioſos decet, nimirum precibus apud Deum. Bellarm. ibid.

Anſw. 1. This is iumpe the Phariſies Corban, whereof Chriſt maketh mention, Mar. 7. 11. and whereby he notably diſcouereth the hypocriſie of the Phariſies, who made pretence of religion, an hinderance to that obedience which God required of children.

2. To pray for that which a man indeuoureth not to doe, when he may doe it, is a plaine mocking of God.

The arguments which they alledge for confirmation of their erroneous opinion, are taken from extraordinary examples, or from myſticall reſemblances, as

• 1. Abrahams leauing his fathers houſe.¹²⁷
• 2. Leuies ſpeech of his father and mother, who ſaid, I haue not ſeene him.
• 3. The aduice giuen to the royall Queene, Forget thy fathers¹²⁸ houſe.
• p. 445 4. The triall of our loue of Chriſt by louing him more¹²⁹ then father or mother.
• 5. Chriſts forbidding one that followed him to goe and¹³⁰ burie his father.

1. 127. Gen. 12. 1. Deut. 33. 9.
2. 128. Pſal. 45. 10.
3. 129. Mat. 10. 37.
4. 130. Luk. 9. 60.

Anſw. 1. For Abrahams example, 1. it cannot be proued that he left his fathers houſe without the conſent of his father. 2. He was then maried, and ſo of another houſe. 3. He had¹³¹ an expreſſe particular charge of God to leaue his fathers houſe, euen as he had to ſacrifice his ſonne. Except the like charge can be ſhewed, his example maketh nothing to the purpoſe.

1. 131. Gen. 12. 1.

2. For Leuies ſpeech, 1. It was noted by Moſes in relation¹³² to a particular zealous fact of the Leuites in executing the vengeance of the Lord, and ſo to be reckoned among ſuch extraordinary things as are not exemplary. 2. That which moued the Leuites to make no difference betwixt their parents and others, was the Lords cauſe: their parents and kindred as well as others had notoriouſly ſinned againſt God, and in that reſpect the Leuites took no notice of them. But they are not ſuch parents which Papiſts teach children to forſake, but any parents. Now what conſequence is this; Some children haue been Gods Miniſters in executing iuſt puniſhment on their wicked parents, therefore children may enter into ſuch places as ſhall exempt them from helping any parents, though well deſeruing? 3. The Leuites had an expreſſe charge for that which they did: but that which Papiſts inferre from their¹³³ example doth make the commandement of God of none effect.¹³⁴

1. 132. Exo. 32. 26, &c.
2. 133. Exo. 32. 27. [moved in the edition]
3. 134. Mat. 15. 6.

3. For the¹³⁵ aduice to the Queene, 1. It is myſtically to be taken. 2. If it ſhould be literally taken, it is to be taken as giuen to her after mariage, when ſhe was out of her parents gouernment. 3. It hath relation to the¹³⁶ law of mariage, and implieth not a ſimple forſaking of parents, but a preferring of a husband before them.

1. 135. Pſal. 45. 10.
2. 136. Gen. 2. 24.

4. For the louing of father and mother more then Chriſt, 1. It doth not neceſſarily imply a forſaking of our parents: for we may loue Chriſt more then them, and yet performe duty to them. 2. If they be forſaken, it muſt be in oppoſition p. 446 to Chriſt, that either Chriſt or they muſt be forſaken, in that if we cleaue to them they will draw vs from Chriſt.

5. For Chriſts forbidding one that followed him to goe and burie his father: 1. It was becauſe of an extraordinary calling which he had. 2. It is ſet downe as a patterne to Miniſters, to ſhew that they ſhould eſpecially attend vpon their proper function, and leaue other ſecular matters to be performed by ſuch as can performe them well enough. To apply it to childrens forſaking of parents, is to peruert the ſenſe of it.

Thus we ſee to how little purpoſe the forenamed arguments are alledged to proue that erronious opinion of childrens entring into religious orders without their parents conſent. I might further ſhew how irreligious their pretended religious orders be, and ſo ſhew how vnlawfull it is to enter into them, euen with conſent of parents: but that maketh nothing to the point in hand.

Contrary alſo to the forenamed part of childrens obedience, is the practiſe of ſuch children as trauell, and ſeeke their fortunes (as they ſpeake) without conſent of parents, like the Prodigall childe, if not worſe: for it is likely that he forced¹³⁷ from his father a generall conſent, in that he obtained of him his portion of goods. Theſe vſually bring great griefe to their parents, and many times make them feare more then is cauſe, as old Iaakob feared, when he knew not what was become of¹³⁸ his ſonne.

1. 137. Luk. 15. 12, &c. [moved in the edition]
2. 138. Gen. 37. 35.

Among thoſe aberrations may be reckoned a cuſtome in this land more vſuall then lawfull, for children to binde themſelues prentiſes without conſent of parents: to which fault they who take indentures of ſuch children, or otherwiſe couenant with them without knowledge of their parents conſent, make themſelues acceſſary.¹³⁹

1. 139. Arguments to proue that children may not marie without parents conſent.

II. That children ought to haue their parents conſent vnto their mariage is without all queſtion euident. For

1. God himſelfe hath giuen vs herein a patterne: He firſt p. 447 brought the woman to the man (Gen. 2. 22.) whereby he would ſhew that he who gaue a being to the woman, had a right to diſpoſe her in mariage: which right parents now haue: for from them vnder God, children receiue their being. In this caſe parents ſtand in Gods roome, and are as it were Gods hand to ioyne their children in mariage.

2. God hath giuen expreſſe lawes concerning this point. To omit that generall morall law, Honour thy father and thy mother (which, as it is the ground of all other duties appertaining to children, ſo of this alſo) the authoritie and charge which God by his law (Deut. 7. 3) hath laid vpon parents, to giue their daughters to husbands, and to take wiues for their ſonnes, hath the force of a law to binde children from taking wiues or husbands, without or againſt their parents conſent. This law was not proper to the Iewes only; but as a branch of the morall law it is preſſed vpon Chriſtians, 1 Cor. 7. 36. 37.

To this may be added the iudiciall law (if it be to be accounted meerely iudiciall) of a parents power in giuing his daughter, or refuſing to giue her in mariage to him that had defloured her, Exo. 22. 17.

3. Anſwerable to the law hath beene the practiſe of Gods Saints recorded and approued in Scripture. Iſaak married the wife which his father prouided (Gen. 24. 67.) Iaakob both obeyed his father in going to Labans houſe for a wife (Gen. 28. 2.) and alſo when he came to Laban asked his daughter of him (Gen. 29. 18. &c.)

Though Sampſon ſaw a daughter of the Philiſtims which¹⁴⁰ pleaſed him well, yet would he not marry her before he had his parents conſent, Iudg. 14. 2.

1. 140. Non eſt virginalis pudoris eligere maritum: electionem mariti parentibus deferat. Ambr. de Patr. l. 1. c. 9.

4. Theſe words of Thamar (2 Sam. 13. 13.) Speake vnto the King (who was her father,) for he will not with-hold thee from me, ſhew that children were not wont to be married without conſent of parents: Which is further confirmed by this oath of the Iſraelites, There ſhall not any of vs giue his daughter¹⁴¹ vnto Beniamin to wife, Iudg. 21. 1.

1. 141. Legitimum non eſt coniugium niſi vxor petatur a parentibus. Euariſt. in epiſt. ad eccleſ. Affric.

5.¹⁴² The ancient fathers of the Church haue in their ages taught children this duty, and pronounced mariages of children without conſent of parents, to be vnlawfull.

1. 142. Filij ſine conſenſu parentum ritè & iure nubere nō poſſunt. Tertul. ad vxor. l. 2. [moved in the edition]

p. 448 6. The very¹⁴³ heathen haue obſerued the equity hereof. Though Shechem loued Dinah, and had defloured her, yet would he not mary her without the conſent of his and her father, Gen. 34, 3. &c. Iſmael had learned as much either by the inſtruction he had receiued out of Abrahams houſe, or elſe by the light of nature; for he ſtood to the choice which his mother made for him, Gen. 21. 21.

1. 143. Tempore creuit amor: tedae quoꝗ iure coiſſent: Sed vetuere patres. Ouid. Metam. 4. Me parenti potius quàm amori obſequi oportet. Teren. in Hecyra. Νυμφευμάτων μὲν τῶν ἐμῶν πατὴρ ἐμοῦ μέριμναν ἕξει, κοὐκ ἐμὸν τάδε κρίνειν. Eurip. in Androm.

7. Though¹⁴⁴ Papiſts in other caſes make the authority of parents to be of no effect, yet in this caſe they count it vtterly vnlawfull for children to marry without or againſt their parents conſent: and haue thereupon made Canons againſt it.

1. 144. Concil. Trid. decr. de reform. matr. c. 1.

8. The¹⁴⁵ law of nature and nations, the ciuill and canon law, the common and ſtatute law of our Land, all manner of law is agreeable to Gods law in this point.

1. 145. Matris voluntatem in tradenda filia omnibus natura praeponit. Auguſt. epiſt. 233.

9.¹⁴⁶ It hath beene a cuſtome in all Chriſtian Churches throughout all ages, for the parent, or ſome in the parents¹⁴⁷ roome, to giue the Bride to the Bridegroome at the time of the mariage: whereby the parents conſent is openly manifeſted.

1. 146. Cum ſponſus & ſponſa benedicendi ſunt a ſacerdote, offerantur eccleſiae a parentibus. Grat. 30. quaſt. 5. Cau. [moved in the edition]
2. 147. Quod ipſi Philoſophi mirati ſant, ſeruate virgines. Ambr. de patr. l. 1. c. 9.

10.¹⁴⁸ Many Diuines of good note and name haue iudged ſuch marriages as haue beene made ſimply without, or directly againſt parents conſent (eſpecially if parents haue iuſt cauſe of exception againſt thoſe mariages) to be of no force till the parent be brought to ratifie them: and in many Churches vpon due examination of the matter, they vſe to account them as no mariages. Experience hath manifeſted the boldneſſe of many children in ſetting light by their parents conſent in thoſe places where mariages once conſummated are ratified,¹⁴⁹ and made indiſſoluble, though they haue beene made ſimply without or directly againſt parents conſent. Many children thinke, though it be vnlawfully done, yet being done it ſhall ſtand. Whereupon if they doubt of their parents conſent, they will caſt how to get their mariage conſummate, ſo as their parents may not know of it to hinder it before it is done: and after it is done, impudently reſolue to beare out as well as they p. 449 can, the ſtorme of their parents diſpleaſure. To preuent ſuch contempt of the power of parents, and to eſtabliſh that authority which God hath giuen them ouer their children, mariages without or againſt parents conſent as aforeſaid, are in many Churches made voide.

1. 148. Eraſm. in colloq. de Matrim. Luth. in ſerm. de Matrim. Bucer. in Mat. 19. Calu. Inſtit. l. 4. c. 19. §. 37. Bez. de Diuort. Zanch. de Oper. Dei par. 3. l. 4. c. 1. Chemn. in Exam. part. 2. Brent. in Catec. Melanc. loc. de coniug. Perkins in Oecon. c. 6. alijque. [moved in the edition]
2. 149. Hoc fieri debere & ciuilis & naturalis ratio ſuadet. Iuſtin. Inſtit. l. 1. tit. 10. Digeſt. l. 23. tit. 2

1. By mariage children are put from their parents: for¹⁵⁰¹⁵¹ Man muſt leaue his Father and Mother, and cleaue vnto his wife. Is it not then great reaſon that they from whom children¹⁵² had their being, and by whom they haue beene maintained and trained vp till the time of their mariage, ſhould haue notice of that kind of leauing them, and conſent thereto?

1. 150. The reaſons alleadged §.
2. 151. Gen. 2. 24. [moved in the edition]
3. 152. 12. may be applied to this particular. [dropped from the edition]

2. A parents power by the marriage of his childe is paſſed ouer to the husband or wife of the childe. And ſhall ſuch a power be taken away without conſent of parent?

3. Children for the moſt part being heady and raſh for want of experience; and ſeeking more to ſatisfie their preſent carnall deſire, then to prouide a good laſting helpe for themſelues: but parents by the inſtinct of nature louing their children as well as children loue themſelues, and hauing by much experience better vnderſtanding of a meete helpe, and better able to vſe their diſcerning gift in this caſe, becauſe it is not their owne caſe, and yet the caſe of one whom they loue as themſelues, and to whom they wiſh as much good as to themſelues; is it not meete euen for the childs good, that in a matter of ſuch moment as mariage, the parent ſhould haue a ſtroake?

Queſt. What if parents vrge their children to marry ſuch¹⁵³ as they can not affect and loue: muſt children therein againſt their minde and liking yeeld obedience?

1. 153. Whether parents may force their children to marry, or no.

Anſw. If there be no iuſt exception againſt the partie commended, they ought with the vttermoſt of their power to endeauour¹⁵⁴ to bring their affection to the bent of their parents will: and as an helpe thereunto, be perſwaded that their parents are as carefull of their good as they themſelues are, and p. 450 wiſer then themſelues: yea aboue all they ought to make inſtant prayer vnto God (in whoſe hand mans heart is to turne it¹⁵⁵ whither ſoeuer he will) that he would be pleaſed to alter the courſe of their affection, and to ſettle it on the party whom their parent hath choſen for them; if at leaſt they ſee no iuſt cauſe to the contrary. But if notwithſtanding all the meanes that they can vſe, they ſtill finde their heart altogether auerſe, they may in a reuerend manner entreat their parent to forbeare to preſſe that match, and to thinke of ſome other.

1. 154. See Treat. 6. §. 54.
2. 155. Prou. 21. 1.

2. Queſt. What if the parent be negligent, and in due time prouide no fit match, may not the childe prouide one for himſelfe?

Anſw. A parents negligence is not a ſufficient pretext to make a child caſt off that ſubiection which he oweth to his parent. Yet I deny not but that a childe knowing where a fit match is to be had, may make knowne as much to his parent (as Sampſon did) and craue both his conſent and help thereunto.¹⁵⁶ And if his parent giue no eare to his humble ſuit, he may vſe the mediation of his kindred or other friends. Yea if neceſſity require that the childe be married, and his parent adde wilfulneſſe to negligence, and will not be moued at all, neither by the humble ſuit of his childe, nor by the earneſt ſolicitation of any friends, meanes may be made to the Magiſtrate (who is in Gods place ouer the parent as well as ouer¹⁵⁷ the childe, and ought to afford releefe vnto the childe) and what the Magiſtrate doth in that caſe is as good a warrant to the childe as if the parent had done it.

1. 156. Iudg. 14. 2. [moved in the edition]
2. 157. Qui liberos iniuria prohibuerint ducere vx eres vel nubere, per praeſides cogantur in matrimonium collocare Di eſt. lib. 23. tit. 2. § 19.

The like meanes may be vſed if a parent be an Idolater, Hereticke, or Atheiſt, and will not yeeld that his childe be married to any but to one of his owne profeſſion and diſpoſition.

Contrary is the minde and practiſe of ſuch children as ouer lightly eſteeming their parents power, take matches of their owne choice: and that ſometimes priuily without giuing any notice at all to their parents: and ſometimes moſt rebelliouſly againſt their parents mind and charge: not much vnlike thoſe p. 451 who in the old world are condemned for taking wiues of all that¹⁵⁸ they choſe (which was one branch of that wickedneſſe for which the world was drowned) or rather like Eſau who tooke¹⁵⁹ ſuch wiues as proued a griefe to his parents. What bleſſing can be expected to fall vpon ſuch mariages? or rather what curſe may not be feared to follow them? Gods law is tranſgreſſed thereby: his Image in parents deſpiſed, that which is more proper to them then any goods; or fraudulently, or violently taken from them: their ſoules grieued thereat: and they¹⁶⁰ oft prouoked to caſt off their children, and curſe their mariages. Now Gods curſe doth oft follow the iuſt curſe of a parent.

1. 158. Gen. 6. 2.
2. 159. Gen. 26. 35. [moved in the edition]
3. 160. See more miſchiefes following ſuch mariages, §. 21.

1. Obiect. Though Iaakob married one wife according to his parents direction, yet he married other three (at leaſt the two maides) without their conſent.

1. Anſw. Iaakobs example in marrying more wiues then one is not iuſtifiable.

2. Anſw. Iaakob had a generall conſent of his parents to¹⁶¹ take a wife of the daughters of Laban: if therefore his marying of two wiues had beene lawfull, neither this nor that daughter had beene taken without all conſent of his parents. As for the two maids of whom he had children, neither of them was his wife: for long after they had children they are called his maids,¹⁶² and diſtinguiſhed from his wiues.

1. 161. Gen. 28. 2.
2. 162. Gen. 32. 22.

2. Obiect. Seruants may mary without their maſters conſent: why then not children without their parents?

1. Anſw.¹⁶³ It is not lawfull for ſeruants ſo to doe while the date of their couenant laſteth.

1. 163. See Treat. 8. §. 17.

2. Anſw. Though the ſeruitude of a ſeruant be greater then of a childe, yet a parent hath in many reſpects a greater power ouer his childe, then a maſter ouer his ſeruant. The power which a maſter hath is by a mutuall couenant betwixt him and his ſeruant, and by the voluntary ſubiection of a ſeruant vnto his maſter. But the power of a parent is by the bond of nature, in that a childe hath his being from his parents. Besides, this ſubiection of a childe to his parents in caſe of marriage, p. 452 is not for ſeruitude but¹⁶⁴ for the good of the childe.

1. 164. See the third reaſon in §. 17.

3. Obiect. Children marry for themſelues and not for their parents, why then ſhould parents conſent be ſo much ſtood vpon?

1. Anſw. Though they marie not for their parents, yet they marie¹⁶⁵ from their parents: by mariage they are freed from the power of their parents.

1. 165. See the ſecond reaſon in §. 17. Pſal. 127. 3.

2. Anſw. Children are not their owne: they are the inheritance of the Lord: the Lord hath giuen them to parents as an inheritance: a childe therefore may no more marry for himſelfe without conſent of parents, then alienate his parents goods for himſelfe.

To the¹⁶⁶ forenamed ſinne, and to the vengeance thereof, doe they make themſelues acceſſary, who fraudulently allure, or violently take away children to marry them otherwiſe then their parents would. This is a worſe kinde of felony then ſtealing away the goods of a man. For children are much more properly a mans owne, then his goods: and dearer to him then any goods can be: yea and ſo much more highly to be eſteemed, by how much reaſonable creatures are to be preferred before ſenſeleſſe, and ſenſuall things. Our¹⁶⁷ ſtatute law expreſly condemneth this, and impoſeth a ſeuere puniſhment on ſuch as ſhall offend therein. And iuſtly doe ſuch offenders deſerue to be ſeuerely puniſhed, both in regard of the heinouſneſſe of the ſinne, and alſo in regard of the many¹⁶⁸ miſchiefes which follow thereon, as, Alienation of parents affection from their children, Diſinheriting heires, Enmity betwixt the friends of each party ſo married, Litigious ſuits in law, Ruine of families, and (if the perſonages, whoſe children are married without their parents conſent, be great and noble) Diſturbance of whole townes, cities, and nations. Inſtance the deſtruction of the Shechemites Gen. 34.¹⁶⁹ This is ſaid to haue beene the cauſe of the tenne yeares warre betwixt the Grecians and Troianes, and of the ruine of Troy.

1. 166. §. 19.
2. 167. Anno 4. & 5. Phil. & Mar. ſtat. 8.
3. 168. Miſchiefes ariſing from marriages without parents conſent.
4. 169. Cauſa mali tanti coniux. Virg. Aeneid. 6. Qui rapta longum cum coniuge bellum Attulit in patriam. Ouid. Met. l. 12. lege. Hor. Carm. l. 1. Od. 15.

Such miniſters alſo as through Careleſneſſe, not taking due p. 453 account of the parties whom they marie, whether they haue their parents conſent or no; or through bribery, being hired by reward, doe marie ſuch children as they know haue not their parents conſent; doe in an high degree make themſelues acceſſary to the¹⁷⁰ forenamed ſinne. Their fact is as bad as the fact of the principals themſelues. Their ſolemnization of ſuch mariages emboldneth both the parties that are ſo maried, and alſo all the perſons that are preſent thereat. They highly diſhonour Gods holy ordinance, in that bearing the perſon of God they ſay of ſuch as God hath forbidden to be ſo ioyned together, Thoſe whom God hath ioyned together let no man put aſunder. If miniſters had not their hand in ſuch vnlawfull mariages, they could not be made: for our Church ratifieth no mariage but what is made by a miniſter. Wherefore ſome miniſter or other is guilty of this foule ſinne, whenſoeuer any childe is maried without conſent of parents. Well therefore doth our Church (to preuent this ſinne) expreſly forbid miniſters to marie any without parents conſent: and inflict a ſeuere cenſure on them that ſhall offend therein.

1. 170. §. 19.

A third branch of the ſubiection of children in forbearing to doe any thing without their parents conſent, is about their parents goods.

That children though liuing in their parents houſe, ought not without their parents conſent to diſpoſe their goods, is euident by the extent of their obedience, in all things.

In that Iſaak was pleaſed to ſend Iaakob to Padan Aram without any great prouiſion, it ſeemeth that Iaakob made conſcience of taking any thing priuily, but went as his father ſent him¹⁷¹ with his ſtaffe. And the¹⁷² apology which he made to Laban his father in law concerning things taken away, ſheweth that he held it vnlawfull for children priuily to conuey away their parents goods. What is my treſpaſſe? what is my ſinne? (ſaith he) what haſt thou found of all my houſhold-ſtuffe?

1. 171. Gen. 32. 10. [moved in the edition]
2. 172. Gen. 31. 36.

Doth he not hereby imply, that if Labans daughters had taken away any of their fathers goods, it had beene a treſpaſſe and ſinne?

p. 454 The Apoſtle ſaith of the heire (who of all the children may¹⁷³ ſeeme to haue the greateſt right) that as long as he is a childe (that is, vnder the gouernment of his parents) he differeth nothing from a ſeruant, though he be Lord of all. If he differ not from a ſeruant, what right can he haue at his pleaſure¹⁷⁴ to diſpoſe his parents goods? Hath a ſeruant any ſuch right?

1. 173. Reaſons. 1. Children vnder parents are as ſeruants.
2. 174. Gal. 4. 1. [moved in the edition]

It is very requiſite that children herein ſhould be tied to their parents conſent, both for the good of parents, and of children themſelues.

Of parents, that they may know what they haue, or haue¹⁷⁵ not, and accordingly order their expences. How can parents tell what they haue, if children priuily without their knowledge purloin and diſpoſe their goods?

1. 175. 2. Good of parents.

Of children, that their lauiſh humor might by this meanes¹⁷⁶ be reſtrained: (for youth is much prone beyond moderation to ſpend, if it haue wherewithall) and that their parents may the better lay vp for them.¹⁷⁷

1. 176. 3. Good of children.
2. 177. 2 Cor. 12. 14.

Contrary is both the opinion and practiſe of many¹⁷⁸ children.

1. 178. It is a ſinne for children.

For opinion, many thinke and ſay, that whatſoeuer is their¹⁷⁹ parents, is theirs alſo: and thereupon being through the watchfull eie and prouident care of their parents reſtrained from ouerlauiſh ſpending, or from laying out any thing with their owne hands, they murmure againſt that reſtraint.

1. 179. 1. To mutter at their parents allowance.

Knowledge and perſwaſion of their ſubiection in this caſe, would be a good meanes to ſuppreſſe that repining humour.

For practiſe,¹⁸⁰

1. 180. 2. Priuily to purloine their parents goods. Gen. 31. 19. Who counſell children to conuey away parents goods are acceſſary to theft.

1. Some priuily take away and purloine what goods, money, wares or any thing elſe they can come by of their parents. This the holy Ghoſt accounteth plaine theft: for Rachel hauing priuily taken away her fathers idolls, the Scripture ſaith that ſhe ſtole them.

Hereunto doe they make themſelues acceſſary, who counſell and incourage children ſo to doe: as many buſibodies, and deceitfull perſons aduiſe daughters, when God hath taken p. 455 away their mothers, to take away linnen, and other-like houſhold-ſtuffe from their father, pretending that their father may marie another wife, who will carrie all away: And vpon like pretence alſo perſwade ſons when their fathers die, to conuey away what they can from their mother. But ſuch pretences are no ſufficient warrant vnto children to deceiue their parents. It were better for children to be depriued of their parents goods, then to enioy them with ſuch deceit: for they will be like that bread which is ſweet to a man, and afterward his¹⁸¹ mouth is filled with grauell.

1. 181. Pro. 20. 17.

2. Others riotouſly ſpend their portion, like the prodigall¹⁸² childe, and runne into debt, and ſo make their parents either to pay it, or to leaue them to the law. Many Schollers at the Vniuerſities, Gentlemen at Innes of Court, and ſuch children as are ſomewhat liberally trained vp in their parents, or other friends houſes, doe much offend herein. Little doth this exceſſe and riot differ from the forenamed kinde of theft: and ordinarily it bringeth as many miſchiefes as that doth.

1. 182. 3. Waſtfully to ſpend. Luk. 15. 13.

3. Some alſo be ſo vngracious and vngratefull, that being¹⁸³ come to yeeres, and their parents growne old, ſeeke to defeat their parents of all they haue, and to bring their parents vnder them, to be ordered by them: labouring to get poſſeſſion of all before their parents be dead, or before they be willing to reſigne any ſuch right vnto their children. Such were¹⁸⁴ Abſolom, and Adoniah. How highly diſpleaſing ſuch practiſes are to God, the vengeance which fell vpon the pates of¹⁸⁵ thoſe two Brethren in euill, traiterous, and diſloyall children, doth ſhew.

1. 183. 4. To defeat their parents of their goods cunningly.
2. 184. 2 Sam. 15. 10. &c.
3. 185. 1 King. 1. 5. &c.

All ſuch children as ſeeke after the forenamed, or any other like meanes to defraud their parents, doe very ill repay their parents care ouer them, and more like Barbarians, then Chriſtians, recompence euill for good: they oft bring pouerty and ignominy vpon their parents and themſelues: they are worſe then other theeues, becauſe they are more deerely accounted of, and more freely truſted: yea they are a very bad example to ſeruants in the houſe, or ſubiects in the commonwealth.

IIII. A fourth branch of the foreſaid ſubiection of children is about their apparell, that it be no other, then may ſtand with their parents good liking. It is noted that Iſrael¹⁸⁶ made Ioſeph a coat, doth not the particular mentioning of that circumſtance ſhew, that parents muſt haue the ordering of their childrens apparell? Which is alſo intimated in the reaſon giuen of Tamars garment of diuers colours, namely becauſe¹⁸⁷ with ſuch garments were the kings daughters, that were virgins, apparelled. And whereas Rebekah had the keeping of her¹⁸⁸ ſonne Eſaus clothes, it appeareth that his clothes were to the minde of his parents: elſe he would haue hid them from them: for further confirmation whereof it is noted that his apparell was pleaſing to his father.

1. 186. Gen. 37. 3.
2. 187. 2 Sam. 13. 18.
3. 188. Gen. 27. 15.

Contrary is the vaine-glorious humour of many children,¹⁸⁹ who to the griefe and diſcredit of their parents, apparell themſelues both againſt the minde, and alſo aboue the ability, and vnbeſeeming the place and calling of their parents. Among others, many miniſters children bring much diſcredit on their parents hereby. Let all ſuch proud Youths note how the Lord hath threatned to viſit euen Kings children that are clothed¹⁹⁰ with ſtrange apparell.

1. 189. Childrens ſin in apparelling themſelues to the griefe, and diſgrace of their parents.
2. 190. Zeph. 1. 8.

V. The fift and laſt branch wherewith I will exemplifie the forenamed ſubiection of children, ſhall be that which is expreſly noted in the law, namely a childes binding of it ſelfe by a vow.

The law giueth the parent power to diſanull his childes¹⁹¹ vow. It is therefore a childes dutie to abſtaine from vowing without his parents conſent.

1. 191. Num. 30. 4.

Contrary are ſuch vowes as Papiſts allure children to make,¹⁹² namely, vowes of continencie, perpetuall virginitie, regular obedience, voluntarie pouertie, with the like.

1. 192. Vnlawfull vowes of children.

Though by theſe they be not drawne to forſake their parents (which¹⁹³ before we proued to be vtterly vnlawfull:) and though theſe in their nature were lawfull (which they are not, becauſe p. 457 they are againſt Gods law and ordinance, and againſt Chriſtian libertie, and ſauour too rankly of Iudaiſme, yea of a worſe ſuperſtition,) yet without parents conſent might they not be made.

1. 193. §. 14.

As vnlawfull are oaths, and other like meanes, whereby children binde themſelues to the performance of ſuch indifferent things, as their parents are not willing they ſhould doe. What doth this but bring a ſnare vpon the conſciences of children, and cauſe a neceſſitie of breaking one of Gods commandements? either the third, in breaking their vow or oath; or the fift, in diſobeying their parents.