Parents Nurturing, Teaching, and Training Children

I referre good nurture in part to the temporall good of children, becauſe (as afterwards we ſhall heare in the particulars) it is an eſpeciall meanes of the outward temporall welfare of the childe euen in this world. Vnleſſe this be added to nouriſhing, wherein doe reaſonable men and women exceed vnreaſonable beaſts? the moſt cruell beaſts that be are very tender (as we heard before) towards their young ones, nouriſhing them, and prouiding all things needfull for them till they can ſhift for themſelues. But as God hath giuen to man a reaſonable ſoule, an vnderſtanding head, capacity, docility and aptneſſe to learne, ſo ought parents to make vſe of thoſe parts and gifts, leſt for want of vſing them, in time they be loſt: and ſo children proue little better then bruits. In this reſpect the prouerbe is true, better be vnfed then vntaught. Experience ſheweth that good education is better then a great portion. The Holy Ghoſt doth very much preſſe this point on parents, as we ſhall after heare in the particulars. For I will handle theſe three points.

• 1. The kindes of nurture.
• 2. The time when it is to be done.
• 3. The meanes of well doing it.

Contrary to good nurture is too much liberty: which oft bringeth much woe, and vtter ruine vpon children: it is the greateſt enemy that can be of good education, and the nurſe of all vice Yet many parents care not to let their children liue as they liſt: all the care they take, is that they be fed and apparelled. This is a common fault both of rich, and of poore parents. The rich pretend that their children need no education, becauſe they haue enough to leaue them: not knowing p. 530 that education is an eſpeciall meanes to make them keepe and well vſe that enough. The poore pretend that they are not able to bring vp their children to any thing: not conſidering that the Lord by his prouidence hath ſo ordered the affaires of men, that as there are fit imployments for the greateſt, ſo alſo⁵⁵¹ for the meaneſt, which without much coſt may be vſed. The fault therefore wholly reſteth in the negligence of parents. And if thereupon children fall into any riot, their parents ſhall anſwer for it.

1. 551. Si parentum incuria filij in intemperantiam labentur, genitores rei animarum illarum fient. Conſtit. Apoſt. l. 4. c. 11. I. The kinds of nurture.

The nurturing of children before mentioned conſiſteth

• 1. In teaching them good manners.
• 2. In training them vp to a good calling.

Not only heathen men, and other moraliſts which were but meere naturall ciuill men, but alſo the Holy Ghoſt himſelfe hath preſcribed many rules of good manners, and much vrged and preſſed the ſame.

1. The word⁵⁵² nurture mentioned by the Apoſtle in this text which we haue in hand, implieth as much: and the phraſe which Solomon vſeth,⁵⁵³ Traine vp a childe in the way he ſhould goe: that is, teach him how to order the courſe of his life.

1. 552. παιδεία. See Treat. 1. §. 119. [moved in the edition]
2. 553. Pro. 22. 6. [moved in the edition]

2. The many⁵⁵⁴ precepts of reuerencing our ſuperiours, and carying our ſelues with reſpect one to another, are rules of good manners. Hereof there be very many in ſcripture.

1. 554. Leu. 19. 32. Pro. 25. 6. Luke 14. 8.

3. Thoſe rules are⁵⁵⁵ commended by many examples of holy men recorded in Scripture.

1. 555. Gen. 23. 7. & 43. 33. Iob 32. 4, 6.

4. Such as haue⁵⁵⁶ failed in the rules of good manners, and rudely carried themſelues, are reproued by the Holy Ghoſt.

1. 556. Iob 30. 1, 12. Luke 14. 7.

Neither is it without good reaſon that this point is ſo ſet forth. For

1. Good manners are a very comely and ſeemely thing. But⁵⁵⁷ it beſeemeth Chriſtians to doe all things decently. That decency is not only to be applied to the affaires of Gods Church, but alſo to the whole courſe of our life, in which reſpect we are commanded to walke⁵⁵⁸ decently, that is, to order all our actions and the whole courſe of our life mannerly.

1. 557. 1. Cor. 14. 40.
2. 558. εὐσχημόνως. Rom 13. 13. 1 Theſ. 4. 12.

2. They are a thing of good report, and that both to parents and children: Now we muſt doe all things that are of good report.⁵⁵⁹

1. 559. Phil. 4. 8.

p. 531 3. They worke a kinde of delight, and loue, and admiration, in thoſe that behold them, as is noted of the Queene of⁵⁶⁰ Sheba when ſhe beheld the comely cariage of Solomons ſeruants: and of the Egyptians when they beheld the orderly⁵⁶¹ ſitting of Ioſephs brethren.

1. 560. 1 King. 10. 5.
2. 561. Gen. 43. 33.

4. They are an outward ornament to piety and religion, and make it to be much more reſpected: in which reſpect S. Peter exhorteth beleeuing wiues well to order their conuerſation⁵⁶² before infidell husbands: and S. Paul exhorteth all ſorts of chriſtians to walke decently toward them that are without.⁵⁶³

1. 562. 1 Pet. 3. 1.
2. 563. 1 Theſ. 4. 12.

The Holy Ghoſt hauing thus vrged the point of good manners, we may not thinke it a meere complementall matter, and a needleſſe point, but a bounden duty.

1. Obiect. Religion and grace conſiſteth not in good manners: many that haue not a ſparke of Gods feare in their hearts, are able to carry themſelues in their outward behauiour very orderly and mannerly.

Anſw. Though grace conſiſt not wholly in it, yet cannot grace well be without it: it is a great ornament and comelineſſe thereunto. And though mannerlineſſe may be ſeuered from a feare of God, yet Gods feare will not be ſeuered from it. Reſtraining grace may be in him who hath no renewing grace: but renewing grace preſuppoſeth reſtraining grace, euen as reaſon preſuppoſeth ſenſe, though ſenſe may be without reaſon. If ſuch as feare not God can carry themſelues comely and mannerly, what a ſhame is it for ſuch as ſeeme to feare God, not to doe ſo? ſhall not thoſe be a witneſſe againſt theſe?

2. Obiect. Good manners are an hinderance to grace: they who are moſt diligent in teaching or practiſing the one, are commonly moſt negligent in the other.

Anſw. This is a meere cauill. Sure I am that grace is no hinderance to good manners. If any make good manners an hinderance to grace, it is their fault.

3. Obiect. Good manners to grace are as mint, anniſe and cummin, to the great and weighty things of the law.

Anſw. Grant it to be ſo: yet ſeeing both may ſtand together, why ſhould they be ſeuered? Chriſts rule is this, Theſe p. 532 things ought ye to haue done, and not to leaue the other vndone.⁵⁶⁴

1. 564. Matt. 23. 23.

4. Obiect. Many that make great ſhew of religion are very rude, and vnmannerly.

Anſw. If there be onely a ſhew of religion in them, no maruell that they haue no manners. If ſome examples of ſuch as are truly religious and want good manners ſhould be ſhewed, their patterne is no preſident, much leſſe can it proue that to be no duty which Gods word hath ſet downe for a duty. Many that well performe ſome duties, much faile in other duties. Who almoſt followeth Gods word as he ſhould in euery thing?

Contrary to parents care in teaching their children good manners, is diſſoluteneſſe: when parents ſuffer their children to grow vp in rudeneſſe, not caring how they carry themſelues at home or abroad, toward their parents, or toward others. Rude bringing vp maketh children to be of a crooked, peruerſe, ſtubborne, churliſh, furly, doggiſh diſpoſition; as on the other ſide, good nurture in this kinde breedeth in genuity, amiableneſſe, curteſie, and kindneſſe. If ſuch as are rudely brought vp be children of profeſſors of the true religion, they bring a ſtaine vpon their profeſſion: yea they diſhonour God, as if he were the author of vnmannerlineſſe and confuſion, againſt which the Holy Ghoſt proteſteth: and they make⁵⁶⁵ themſelues and their children a ſcorne in the eie and mouth of profane perſons, who will be ready to point and ſay, Behold the children of profeſſors, how rudely they are brought vp, and ill taught: they haue not ſo much as good manners in them.

1. 565. 1 Cor. 14. 33. [moved in the edition]

For auoiding this blemiſh, Schoole-maſters and all ſuch as⁵⁶⁶ haue the charge of trayning vp young children, muſt bean helpe to parents in teaching children good manners.

1. 566. Admonition to Schoolemaſters.

The ſecond branch of good nurture is a training vp of children vnto a good calling. This charge (traine vp a child in⁵⁶⁷ the way that he ſhould go) directly condeth to this purpoſe. This duty hath from the beginning of the world beene performed p. 533 by parents, and their performance thereof commended by the holy Ghoſt. Adam brought vp his ſonnes to ſeuerall callings: one was a⁵⁶⁸ keeper of ſheepe, another a tiller of ground. The like is noted of⁵⁶⁹ Iaakobs ſonnes,⁵⁷⁰ Labans, and⁵⁷¹ Reguels daughters,⁵⁷² Iſhas ſonne, and many others.

1. 567. Pro 22. 6.
2. 568. Gen. 4. 2. [moved in the edition]
3. 569. Gen. 37. 12. [moved in the edition]
4. 570. Gen. 29. 9. [moved in the edition]
5. 571. Exo. 2. 16. [moved in the edition]
6. 572. 1 Sam. 16. 7. [moved in the edition]

Much good may from hence ariſe to parents themſelues, to their children, and to the people and places where ſuch children⁵⁷³ ſhall liue.

1. 573. Benefits of a good calling.

1. A good calling is an eſpeciall meanes for children to maintaine themſelues and family, to releeue thoſe that ſtand in need, to eaſe their parents, and (if the need of parents require it) to releeue and maintaine them.

2. It is that way wherein Gods Angels haue a charge to⁵⁷⁴ keepe them while they walke in it.

1. 574. Pſal. 91. 11.

3. It is a meanes wherein and whereby they may be ſeruiceable to the common wealth where they liue.

4. It is the beſt place wherein the generall duties of Chriſtianity may be moſt manifeſted, and beſt performed.

5. It is the beſt ordinary meanes that can be preſcribed to keepe a childe from the vanities of youth, from immoderate purſuit of pleaſures, from vnlawfull games, from idleneſſe, from ill company, and ſuch like euils; which, as they are ſinnes in themſelues, ſo occaſions and prouocations to other moſt grieuous and enormous ſinnes, and proue to be the very bane of youth.

Anſw. 1. Much land may ſoone be conſumed by ſuch as haue not skill well to vſe it.

2. Maintenance is but one end of a calling, and that not the chiefeſt and moſt principall.

3. More good may be done by skill in a calling, then by great ſtore of land.

4. We are borne for others as well as for our ſelues: it is not therefore ſufficient to ſay I haue enough to maintaine my ſelfe.

The point in generall being declared to be a dutie, I will⁵⁷⁵ adde ſome directions for the better performing of it.

1. 575. Directions for choiſe of callings. 1. Generall principles are to be taught.

1. Children are to be trained vp in thoſe things which are the ground worke of all callings, as reading, writing, and principles of learning. Whatſoeuer the particular calling be, theſe will be of great vſe to any one. Many that haue not beene taught them at firſt, would giue much for them afterwards. Parents at the firſt might teach their children thoſe things with much eaſe and ſmall charge, which afterwards cannot be⁵⁷⁶ ſo well learned, partly for want of leaſure, and partly becauſe the parts of thoſe who are growne in yeares are not ſo freſh and fit to learne, as in child-hood they were. Thoſe things are not to be contemned as ſmall, without which great things cannot ſtand.

1. 576. Non ſunt contemnenda quaſi parua, ſine quibus magna conſtare non poſſunt. Hier. ad Laet. 2. The calling muſt be lawfull.

2. The calling whereunto children are trained vp muſt be lawfull, approued by Gods word, and not againſt the generall rules thereof: ſo may they keepe a good conſcience in the exerciſe thereof.

3. The calling muſt be fit for the childe that is trained vp⁵⁷⁷ to it. As there are diuers callings, ſo there are diuers abilities of ſundry children: ſome are fitteſt for callings of wit and learning: others for callings that require an able and ſtrong body. Wherein the wiſe diſpoſing prouidence of God is much commended: for thus are men much more vſefull one to another. Now for choiſe of a fit calling, a childs beſt ability wherein eſpecially it conſiſteth, whether in the exerciſe of minde or of body, is duly to be obſerued: and alſo his inclination, to what calling he is moſt diſpoſed.

1. 577. 3. The calling muſt be fit for the childes ability.

4. Among fit callings (for there may be many) that which⁵⁷⁸ is beſt and the moſt excellent is to be preferred. To this purpoſe not vnfitly may I apply that of the Apoſtle, ccuet earneſtly the beſt gifts.

1. 578. 4. The beſt callings muſt be preferred. 1 Cor. 12. 31.

On this ground let parents be exhorted to traine vp ſuch⁵⁷⁹ children as they finde fit, to the great and weighty calling of the miniſtery: no calling wherein any may doe more good, and wherein (if they be able and faithfull Miniſters) they can p. 535 receiue more comfort and contentment. This exhortation is the more to be regarded, becauſe in compariſon of thoſe who are trained vp to other callings, ſo few are trained vp to this.

1. 579. Children to be trained vp to the miniſtery.

On the contrary, many parents much offend in not training vp their children to a calling as they ſhould. And the offence in this kinde is committed many waies. As

1. When parents ſuffer their children to liue like little maſters at home, and paſſe ouer all their youth in idleneſſe. Thus they proue very drones, and caterpillars in the common wealth: if they haue a patrimony, they ſoone waſte it: if they haue none, they oft proue either theeues or beggars: they are fit for all companies: the readieſt prey for the deuill that can be: for they are like the houſe empty, ſwept and garniſhed, which⁵⁸⁰ when the euill ſpirit eſpieth, he preſently entereth into it with ſeuen other ſpirits worſe then himſelfe.

1. 580. Mat. 12. 44. [moved in the edition]

The wiſe law-maker among the heathen is ſaid to order⁵⁸¹ that the childe which by his parents had beene taught no Art, ſhould not be forced to nouriſh them though they were old or poore. This I all eage not to iuſtifie the law (for it is againſt the Chriſtian rule of ouercomming euill with goodneſſe) but to ſhew how the very heathen iudged the neglect of this dutie a great fault in parents.

1. 581. Solon legibus cauiſſe legitur, vt filius, quem parentes nullam artem docuiſſent, non cogeretur illos alere ſenio confectos, aut ad inopiam redactos. Eraſ. Inſtit. Matrim.

2. When parents neglect to teach their children in their child-hood the generall and common grounds of all callings: ſome vpon niggardlineſſe; others vpon careleſneſſe. Thus poore men make their children vnfit for many meanes, whereby they might well maintaine themſelues: and rich men make theirs vnfit for magiſtracy, and for good ſociety. Yea poore and rich are thus nouſled vp the more in ignorance, and made the more vnfit to profit by the preaching of the word, and other meanes of ſpirituall edification.

3. When parents bring vp their children in vnwarrantable and vnlawfull callings, as to be of popiſh and idolatrous orders; to attend vpon papiſts; to be ſtage-plaiers, keepers of dice-houſes, &c. Some (which is horrible to thinke of) traine p. 536 vp their daughters to be common ſtrumpets: and ſome⁵⁸² (which is yet more horrible) traine vp their children to be ſorcerers and witches. How can they in theſe keepe a good conſcience, when the very workes of their calling are ſinne? Is not this to thruſt them headlong into hell? They who thus binde their children to the deuils ſacrileges are ſpirituall murtherers of them.

1. 582. Phoenices Veneri donum dabant de proſtitatione filiarum, antequam iungerent eas viris. Aug de Ciu. D. l. 4 c. 10. vide Lud. Uiu. in hunc loc. Recte dicuntur parentes filios daemoniorum ſacrilegijs obligare conantes, ſpir taliter homicidae. Aug. Epiſt. 23.

4. When parents haue no reſpect at all to the fitneſſe of the calling: as when they traine vp children of able bodies, but dull and ſlow capacity, of a ſtuttering tongue and other like imperfections, to learning, wherein they proue very dunces, and loſe all their time, or are not able to make vſe of the learning which they haue: or when they traine vp children which haue a great inclination to learning, and are very fit thereunto, in ſome other trade, which, after many yeeres ſpeut therein, they are forced to leaue.

5. When parents only ſeeke after the moſt gainfull trade, and neuer thinke to educate their children moſt to the honour of God. How can ſuch expect Gods bleſſing vpon the meanes vſed for their childrens good? Hence is it that among Papiſts ſo many are trained vp to Eccleſiaſticall orders and functions: and ſo few among Proteſtants. For there is very great maintenance and reuenues for ſuch among Papiſts: but little in compariſon among Proteſtants:⁵⁸³

1. 583. Infans tibi eſt? ab infantia ſanctitate imbuatur: abipſis vnguiculis Spiritui conſecre tur. Greg. Naz. Orat. 40. in S. Bapt. Lege Hier. Epiſt. ad Laet.

The ſpirituall good of children, and that in their childhood, is to be procured by parents as well as their temporall. Wherefore Parents muſt traine vp their children in true piety. This is expreſly commanded in my text vnder this phraſe admonition of the Lord. Vnder the law God did both ſimply⁵⁸⁴ command it, and that very often, and alſo ordained diuers outward⁵⁸⁵ rites, and cauſed many viſible and extraordinary⁵⁸⁶ monuments to be ſet vp, that thereby children might be occaſioned to aske of their parents the myſterie of them, and that parents from that inquirie of their children might take occaſion to⁵⁸⁷ teach them the ordinances of the Lord.

1. 584. Deut. 4. 9. & 6. 7 & 11. 19. Pſal. 78. 5, 6.
2. 585. Exo. 12 26. & 13. 14.
3. 586. Ioſ 4. 6, 7, 21.
4. 587. Deul. 6. 20.

p. 537 This expreſſe charge of the Lord is further commended by that practiſe which holy parents from time to time haue yeelded thereunto: inſtance the examples of⁵⁸⁸ Abraham,⁵⁸⁹ Dauid,⁵⁹⁰ Bathſheba,⁵⁹¹ Lois and Eunice, with many others.

1. 588. Gen. 18. 19. [moved in the edition]
2. 589. Pro. 4 4. [moved in the edition]
3. 590. & 31. 1. [moved in the edition]
4. 591. 2 Tim. 1. 5. Reaſons. 1. Benefit of pietie. [moved in the edition]

1. Pietie is the beſt thing that a parent can teach his childe: for as reaſon maketh a man differ from a beaſt; and as learning and ciuilitie maketh a wiſe and ſober man differ from ſauages and ſwaggerers; ſo pietie maketh a ſound Chriſtian much more to differ from the moſt ciuill and well ordered naturall man that can be. Learning, ciuilitie, calling, portion, are all nothing without pietie. Now it is an eſpeciall point of wiſdome, to ſeeke the beſt good that we can, as for our ſelues, ſo alſo for our children: yea this is an euident ſigne of a parents true loue of his childe.

2. There is a neceſſitie that children be taught pietie, becauſe⁵⁹² they are not borne but made Chriſtians: by nature they are vtterly deſtitute of all pietie: for by nature euery imagination of the thoughts of mans heart is only euill continually (Gen. 6. 5.) and in that reſpect man is borne like the wilde aſſe colt (Iob 11. 12.) ſo as a man were better be vnborne then not taught pietie.

1. 592. 2. Neceſſitie of pietie. Fiunt non naſcuntur Chriſtiani. Hier. ad Laet.

3. The charge and office of parents bindeth them to teach their⁵⁹³ children pietie: for they are by God made watchmen ouer their children: if therefore their children liue and die in impietie through their parents negligence, their bloud ſhall be required at their parents hands: inſtance the example of⁵⁹⁴ Elie.

1. 593. 3. Charge of parents.
2. 594. 1 Sam. 3. 13. [moved in the edition]

Anſw. 1. God hath giuen an expreſſe charge hereof to parents, as we heard before.

1. 595. Why Parents as well as Miniſters are bourd to teach pietie.

2. In the familie a parent is all in all ouer his childe: a King, a Prieſt, and a Prophet. Therefore that which a Miniſter is to doe for matter of inſtruction in the Church, a parent muſt do at home.

3 Children haue need of daily inſtruction: the parents paines in this kinde muſt be added to the Miniſters: and both are little enough.

4. Parents hauing more familiaritie with their children then Miniſters, muſt needs better know their capacitie, and their diſpoſition: and ſo may better know after what manner to inſtruct them: whether to giue them milke or ſtrong meat, whether to deale mildly or roughly with them.

p. 538 5. Inſtructions from parents are commonly more kindly accepted then from others: and children will the better relliſh them, when they come from their parents. They ſay that a plant will beſt grow in the ſoile out of which it firſt ſprung: ſo inſtructions comming from thoſe who both brought vs forth, and firſt brought vs vp, are like to doe moſt good.

6. There is no ſuch meanes to breed loue in a childs heart, as to be an inſtrument of bringing piety thereinto. Now who ſhould more ſeeke the true loue of a childe then a parent? In this reſpect a parent is more bound to this dutie then a Miniſter.

7. It is impoſſible, that a Miniſter, who, it may be, hath many hundred children vnder his charge, ſhould well inſtruct them all: It is therefore requiſite, that each parent looke to his owne children.

As theſe diſtinct anſwers ſatisfie the obiection, ſo they ſerue as ſo many more reaſons to inforce the dutie: wherefore to proceed in adding other reaſons,

4. Great equitie there is that parents teach their children piety,⁵⁹⁶ becauſe they⁵⁹⁷ conceiued and brought them forth in iniquitie. If they ſuffer them to lie and die in that corrupt eſtate, they are more cruell then the Oſtrich and Dragon.

1. 596. 4. Equitie.
2. 597. Pſal. 51. 5.

5. Children are moſt properly Gods:⁵⁹⁸ borne to God: he is the⁵⁹⁹ moſt proper parent of them: in compariſon of God, fathers and mothers of the fleſh are but nurſes. They muſt therefore nurture them in the admonition of the Lord.

1. 598. Ezec. 16. 20, 21. [moved in the edition]
2. 599. 5. Gods children.

6. Pietie is that, which of all other things, will make the childe⁶⁰⁰ moſt obedient, and gratefull to his parents: for thus there is a double bond to binde him: 1. his birth. 2. his new birth: eſpecially when the cauſe of the one hath beene alſo the cauſe of the other.

1. 600. 6. Cauſe of obedience.

7. Nothing can more ſettle the heart of a wiſe parent on his⁶⁰¹ death-bed concerning his children, then aſſurance that pietie is planted in them: for then may he with ſtronger confidence commend them to Gods prouidence, and with greater aſſurance expect his bleſſing vpon them after he is dead.

1. 601. 7. Comfort of parents on their deathbed.

8. Parents, by teaching their children pietie, are an eſpeciall⁶⁰² meanes of propagating true religion from age to age, and from generation to generation. No better meanes can be thought of. p. 539 For if all parents were carefull of their dutie in this kinde, as there is a ſucceſſion of children, and thereby a preſeruation of mankinde, ſo there would be a ſucceſſion of thoſe that feare God, and thereby a preſeruation of true religion. My children that are taught by me, may be fathers of children, and ſo teach that to their children, which they haue learned of me: yea after them may grandchildren proue fathers of other children, and they teach their children the ſame, and ſo from age to age others after them. This is the meanes on our part: and in our time we muſt doe our part: and for thoſe who come after vs, leaue the iſſue to God.

1. 602. 8. Propagation of pietie.

Not only the great benefit of this point, but alſo the too much neglect thereof, in moſt families, hath moued me the longer to inſiſt on it, and the more forcibly to preſſe it. For the better performing thereof, I will adde ſome directions.

1. Whatſoeuer principle of pietie, parents doe teach their children,⁶⁰³ they muſt be ſure that it be grounded on Gods word: thus much this phraſe (admonition of the Lord) implieth.

1. 603. 1. Principles of pietie to be all taken out of Gods word.

Thus ſhall parents be ſure to feed them with good wholeſome ſpirituall food, ſuch as ſhall make to their ſpirituall nouriſhment, and eternall life. In this reſpect principles of religion grounded on Gods word are called ſound, or wholſome, or healthfull words:⁶⁰⁴ and that both in regard of their matter and ſubſtance, and alſo in regard of their effect; they cauſe and preſerue good, ſound, ſpirituall health. We know that naturall men haue a care to giue their children ſuch food as is wholſome for their bodie: (for will a father⁶⁰⁵ that is euill, giue his childe a ſtone, or a ſerpent, and not that which is good?) Conſcience muſt moue religious parents, to haue the like care of the ſoules of their children, as nature teacheth all parents to haue of their bodies. If parents be carefull to draw thoſe principles, wherein they inſtruct their children, out of Gods word, they ſhall be ſure not to poyſon their ſoules with any error, hereſie, ſuperſtition, or idolatrie.

1. 604. 2 Tim. 1. 13. ὑγιαίνοντοι λόγοι.
2. 605. Mat. 7. 9, 10, 11.

2. When children begin to read, let them read the holy Scripture:⁶⁰⁶ ſo was Timothie trained vp from a childe (2 Tim. 3. 15.) Thus will children ſucke in religion with learning: for there is a ſecret vertue lurking in the holy Scripture (which is Gods owne p. 540 word) more then in any bookes of men: ſo as through Gods⁶⁰⁷ bleſſing there may by this meanes be an inward worke of grace in children euen in their young yeeres. Beſides, no bookes are more eaſie then many parts of Scripture; and no hiſtories more admirable and delightfull, then the hiſtories of the Scripture. It is the aduice of an ancient Father, that young children be made acquainted with the words and names of holy Scripture: and that, in ſtead of tales and fables, choice hiſtories of the Bible be made knowne to them: and that they be inſtructed in the Prouerbs of Solomon.

1. 606. 2. Let children at firſt read the Scripture.
2. 607. Sacrae Scripturae nominibus vtantur, & loco fabularum ſelectae illis hiſtoriae narrentur, & ſententijs prouerbialibus ex Solomone inſtituantur. Baſil. Aſcet. c. 15. 3 Catechiſe children daily. Deut. 6. 7.

3. Let children be catechiſed conſtantly from day to day: rehearſe them continually vnto thy children, ſaith the Law. That which is daily done, is in Scripture ſaid to be done continually: as the ſacrifice which was daily offered was called a continuall offering. Here let this caueat be noted, that in giuing this ſpirituall food, parents deale with their children, as skilfull nurſes and mothers doe in feeding infants: they will not at once cram more into their mouthes, then their ſtomach is able to digeſt, but they will rather oft feed them with a little: ſo it is not meet, that parents be too tedious; that will but dull a childs vnderſtanding, and breed weariſomneſſe, and make it loath to be againe inſtructed: but precept vpon precept, precept vpon precept, line vpon line, line vpon line,⁶⁰⁸ here a little, and there a little. Thus ſhall they learne with caſe and delight: and this being oft performed, in time a great meaſure of knowledge will be gained thereby. If a veſſell haue a little mouth, we vſe not to fill it by powring whole paile-fuls vpon it, for ſo all may be ſpilt, and it receiue little or nothing: but we let the liquor fall in by little and little, according to the capacitie of the mouth; ſo is nothing loſt, and the veſſell filled the ſooner. Thus are children to be dealt withall.

1. 608. Iſa. 28. 10.

4. To the ſet times of catechizing children, let other occaſions⁶⁰⁹ of teaching them pietie be added: as at table, by reſembling the ſpirituall food of their ſoules, to that corporall food, whereby their bodies are nouriſhed: when they are walking abroad, by ſhewing them the ſtarres, how they remaine ſtedfaſt in their courſe; the trees, how they bring forth fruit in their ſeaſon; how all things are for the vſe and benefit of man, and thereupon make ſpirituall vſes: note the direction which for this purpoſe the Law giueth to parents, Thou ſhall talke to thy children of my words,⁶¹⁰ p. 541 when thou ſitteſt in thine houſe, and when thou walkeſt by the way, and when thou lieſt downe, and when thou riſeſt vp.

1. 609. 4. Take all occaſions from ſenſible things to make a ſpirituall vſe.
2. 610. Deut. 6. 7.

5. Let parents open to their children the myſteries of thoſe⁶¹¹ outward rites which God hath ordained in his Church, as of Preaching, Baptiſing children, adminiſtring the Lords Supper, ceaſing from worke on the Lords day, with the like. This was expreſly commanded vnder the law. Viſible rites are great helpes to the weake vnderſtanding of children, when they are plainly opened and applied: yea they are alſo eſpeciall meanes of keeping in memory the myſteries contained vnder them: as courſe threds or wiars are meanes to preſerue pearles put vpon them. So oft as they ſee the rites they will be put in minde of the myſteries implied vnder them.

1. 611. 5. Open the myſteries of the rites of the Church. Exo. 12. 26. & 13. 14.

6. To this may be referred a declaration of ſuch great and⁶¹² admirable workes as God in former times hath done for his Church: eſpecially ſuch workes as haue beene done in their time: and if any memorials be remaining of them, make them knowne to children. This direction was alſo giuen vnder⁶¹³ the law, concerning the monuments which were ſet vp of the great deliuerances that God gaue to his people. In particular when the day of the gunpowder-treaſon is ſolemnized, parents ought to teach their children the occaſion of ſolemnizing that day. And as God doth any great workes of mercy or of iudgement, point them out to children. When there is great famine, plague, or any mortality, inſtruct children in the cauſes thereof: when victory, plenty, peace, or the like, teach children from whence theſe come. Outward ſenſible things doe beſt worke vpon children.

1. 612. 6. Let Gods great workes be declared.
2. 613. Joſ. 4. 6, 21.

7. Let religious ſchoole maſters be choſen for children: ſolikewiſe⁶¹⁴ other maſters to whom children are put forth: and religious houſes where they are placed. Hannah commended her firſt borne childe to old Eli, a good, religious high Prieſt.⁶¹⁵ If maſters themſelues be religious, there is good hope that they will inſtruct in piety ſuch as are vnder them: which if they doe, what an helpe will that be to parents? If both parents and maſters ioyne therein, it muſt needs be very profitable to the children. If parents ſhould faile, yet might maſters make a good ſupply.

1. 614. 7. Let religious maſters be choſen.
2. 615. 1 Sam. 1. 25. Magiſter probae aetatis, & vitae, atꝗ eruditionis eſt eligendus. Hier. ad Laet.

p. 542 8. Let parents be to their children a good patterne and example⁶¹⁶ in pietie. I and my houſe (ſaith⁶¹⁷ Ioſua) will ſerue the Lord: he ſetteth himſelfe firſt as a guide to the reſt.⁶¹⁸ I will walke in mine houſe with a perfect heart, ſaith Dauid, whereby he would make himſelfe an example, as to others of his family, ſo to his children. Example is a reall inſtruction, and addeth a ſharpe edge to admonition. Much more ſhall a religious parent doe by practiſe then by precept. For children are much inclined to follow their parents: let them goe before, children will ſoone follow after. Practiſe is an euident proofe of the neceſſitie of the precept deliuered.

1. 616. 8. Be an example.
2. 617. Ioſ. 24. 15. [moved in the edition]
3. 618. Pſal. 101. 2. Nihil in te & in Patre ſuo videat, quod ſi fecerit peccet. Mementote vos parentes virginis, magis eam exemplis doceri poſſe, quàm voce. Hier. ad Laet. [moved in the edition]

Many are the aberrations contrary to the forenamed care of teaching pietie. For

1. Moſt parents care only for the temporall and ciuill good of their children: ſo their children may be well fed and clothed, and brought vp in ſome profitable calling, whereby they may well maintaine themſelues in this world, little thought is⁶¹⁹ had, or care taken for their ſpirituall life in this world, or eternall life in the world to come. Wherein are theſe parents better then heathen? Iob was otherwiſe minded: he was more carefull for their ſoules then for their bodies.

1. 619. Iob non tantum pro corpore filiorum ſollicitus erat, ſed plus de anima cogitabat. Orig. in Iob. lib. 1.

2. Many are ſo farre from teaching piety, as they teach their children profaneneſſe, pride, riot, lying, deceit, and ſuch like principles of the deuill. It had beene better for ſuch children to haue liued among wilde beaſts, then vnder ſuch parents. As the children hereby are thruſt headlong to hell, ſo their blood ſhall be required of their parents.

3. Others thinke it enough that their children be taught a religion, but what religion it skilleth not. Such are they as hauing rich kindred but popiſh, commend their children to the education of ſuch kindred, in hope of ſome temporall benefit, that their children may reape from them. If they were as careleſſe of their childrens bodies, they would be accounted little better then murtherers: and is not the ſoule more pretious then the body?

p. 543 4. So farre are many from catechiſing their children and that daily, as they teach them not ſo much as the Lords praier, the Beleefe, and the ten Commandements. Wherein Papiſts ſhall riſe vp in iudgement againſt them, that are very diligent in teaching their children, Pater noſter, Aue Maria, and ſuch like Latine principles, as the children cannot poſſibly vnderſtand.

5. Few vſe the forenamed outward helpes, as the holy rites appointed of God, the great and glorious workes of God, his extraordinary workes of mercy or iudgement, to inſtruct their children thereby. As they themſelues care not to take notice of any ſuch thing, ſo they care not whether their children doe it or no.

6. So much doe ſome preferre a little pelfe before the true⁶²⁰ good of their children, as they care not to what ſchoolemaſter they put their children, be he profane, or popiſh, or vnlearned, eſpecially if he be a kinſman, or one of their friends. Few will ſo doe in caſe of their health or outward eſtate: but will rather get the beſt Phyſitian, or the beſt Lawyer that they can. Children oft learne ſuch euill qualities of their ſchoolemaſters as they can neuer ſhake off againe.

1. 620. Alexander & in moribus, & in inceſſu l. eonidis paedagogi ſui non potuit carere vitijs, quibus adbuc paruulus fuit infectus. Hier. ad Laet.

7. Many proue very bad patternes to their children, and giue very ill example by profanenſſe, riotouſneſſe, ſwearing, drinking, playing at vnlawfull games, &c. Theſe parents as they brought forth their children in ſinne, ſo they lead them on forward to hell. Their euill example is not only an hinderance to the good inſtruction of others, but alſo maketh all their owne counſells (if at any time they doe giue any good counſell) to be in vaine: for the left hand of euill example⁶²¹ ſoone pulleth downe more then the right hand of inſtruction can build againe.

1. 621. Parentes non educant filios in eruditione domini quia ſolliciti non ſunt pro ſalute vel perditione eorum. Orig. loc. citat.

To conclude, thoſe parents whoſe children are not brought vp in the inſtruction of the Lord, ſhew plainly that they regard neither the ſaluation or damnation of their ſoules.

Hitherto of the Kindes of nurture. The Time thereof followeth.

p. 544

In handling the time of⁶²² good nurture, I wil ſhew 1. When it ought to be begun.

2. How long it ought to be continued

1. 622. II. The Time of nurture. Nurture muſt be begun betimes.

1. Parents ought to begin to nurture their children ſo ſoone as they are capable of any inſtruction. Euen as young birds are taught by their dammes to flie ſo ſoone as their wings can carry them.⁶²³ Traine vp a childe (ſaith Solomon) that is, while he is young and tender: and againe,⁶²⁴ He that loueth his childe nurtureth him be times. Thus was Samuel ſent when he was very young to be trained vp vnder Eli, (1 Sam. 1. 24.) and Solomon was inſtructed by his father when he was tender, (Pro. 4. 3.) and Timothy was taught the Scriptures⁶²⁵ from a young childe, or infant.

1. 623. Pro. 22. 6.
2. 624. & 13. 24. שחרו מוסר שחר maneinde in Picl שחר mane facere, id eſt, mature.
3. 625. 2 Tim. 3. 15. ἀπὸ βρέφους· Βρέφος τὸ ἄρτι γεγονὸς παιδίον. Puer recens natus. Reaſons. 1. Euils preuented.

There are both priuatiue, and poſitiue reaſons to preſſe this point. Priuatiue, in regard of the miſchiefes that may be preuented thereby. Poſitiue, in regard of the good that may be gained thereby.

1. Many are the euils which children by nature are prone vnto, euen as ranke ground is ſubiect to bring forth many weeds: for⁶²⁶ the imagination of mans heart is euill from his youth: and⁶²⁷ fooliſhneſſe is bound in the heart of a childe. If therefore they be not well nurtured betimes, what can be looked for, but the fruits of euill, and folly. But timely nurture will preuent ſuch fruits, and be an excellent preſeruatiue againſt their owne naturall corruption, againſt Satans temptations and againſt the allurements or diſcouragements of the world

1. 626. Gen. 8. 21. [moved in the edition]
2. 627. Pro. 22. 15. [moved in the edition]

2. Continuance in euill maketh children obſtinate, and⁶²⁸ inflexible therein. Elies ſonnes being ſuffered to goe on in wickedneſſe till they came to ripeneſſe of yeeres, would not afterwards harken to the voice of their Father. What creature can be tamed, if it be not begun with while it is young?

1. 628. 2. Continuance in euill maketh inflexible. 1 Sam. 2. 25.

3. When children firſt begin to be capable of inſtruction⁶²⁹ they are moſt pliable to follow the direction of their parents as is euident by the ordinary courſe of nature in all things Clay, wax, and ſuch other things while they are ſoft receiue any impreſſion: twigs while they are tender are bowed any way: birds and beaſts are eaſily tamed when they are young: corne ſowne betimes bringeth a timely and plentifull harueſt.

1. 629. 3. Young children moſt pliable.

p. 545 4. That which in childhood is learned, is longeſt retained:⁶³⁰ Traine vp a childe in the way he ſhould goe, and when he is old he will not depart from it. A veſſell longeſt keepeth that ſauour with which at firſt it is ſeaſoned: and by experience we may note old men beſt to remember the things which in their childhood they learned: yea by well educating children from their infancy much labour may afterwards be ſpared: for conſtant vſe of vertue bringeth it vnto a law.⁶³¹

1. 630. 4. What firſt learned beſt remembred. Prou. 22. 6. Quo ſemeleſt imbuta recens ſeruabit odorem Teſta diu. Hor.
2. 631. Si liberis ab ipſis ſtatim initijs leges optimas imponamus, minimum poſthac laborabimus. Conſuetudo ipſa virtutis in legem tranſiet. Chryſ. in 1. Tim. Hom. 9.

Obiect. To teach children while they are young, is but as to teach a Parrot or ſuch like vnreaſonable creatures: they may learne what is taught them, but they cannot conceiue it.

1. Anſw. Though children haue not ſo deepe an apprehenſion while they are young, as they haue when they come to riper yeares, yet ſo ſoone as they are capable of inſtruction, they doe much better conceiue what is taught them, then vnreaſonable creatures can doe.

2. Though that were granted, yet it would not thereupon follow, that it is better not to be taught while they are young. For, firſt it is better that they ſhould be framed and ſquared to a good courſe, before they can diſcerne betwixt good and euill, then be ſuffered to runne on in euill, till they get an habit therein; which after it is got, will hardly be caſt off. Secondly, by teaching them before they can well conceiue, their apprehenſion is much helped. What may be the reaſon that children of kings, and great men are commonly of more vnderſtanding at 12. or 14. yeares of age, then poore and meane mens children at 17. or 18. but that they are ſooner, and beter inſtructed? Thirdly, as by age their vnderſtanding commeth to more and more ripeneſſe, they will more and more conceiue that which at firſt they did not ſo well vnderſtand. Then ſchollers firſt learne their Latine rules, they learne them meerely by rote, without vnderſtanding the meaning of them,⁶³² but afterwards come to make very good vſe of them. Wherefore children are to be inſtructed betimes euen for the benefit at may be after reaped, as corne is ſowne in winter to receiue crop the harueſt following: and to preuent the miſchiefes at may fall out, leſt they get head ouer their parents againſt their minde.

1. 632. Obſequentes facite filios veſtros ab infantia, attendentes ne in vos poteſtantem habeant praeter veſtram ſententiam. Conſtit. Apoſt. l. 7. c. 4.

By the way let mothers eſpecially note this point of timely nurture, as a point in peculiar appertaining to them. The⁶³³ grandmother Lois, and mother Eunice, firſt taught Timothy,⁶³⁴ Bathſheba taught Salomon when he was young. Oft doth Salomon warne children⁶³⁵ not to forſake their mothers teaching.

1. 633. Compare 2 Tim. 1. 5. with 3. 15.
2. 634. Prou. 31. 1. [moved in the edition]
3. 635. & 1. 8. & 6. 20.

Whereby he implieth that mothers ſhould teach their children eſpecially while they are young: which duty ſo belongeth to a mother, as⁶³⁶ Salomon laieth the blame, and ſhame of the neglect thereof vpon her: on the other ſide the honour of well nurturing children redoundeth eſpecially to the mother. To this purpoſe is it, that the⁶³⁷ particular names of the mothers of the kings are recorded in Scripture: intimating thereby that mothers were a maine cauſe of the piety, or impiety of ſuch children. Salomon and Abſolom had both one father, but diuers mothers. May we not well thinke that Salomons mothers care to inſtruct him was an eſpeciall meanes of his piety: and that Abſoloms mothers neglect of this duty, was ſome cauſe of his impiety? It is expreſly noted of Ahaziahs mother, that ſhe was his counſeller to doe wickedly, which made him ſo wicked⁶³⁸ as he was. Home-experience confirmeth as much: for if father and mother be of diuers religions, moſt of the children will follow the mother. For while children are young, their mother is moſt in their ſight: ſhe feedeth, ſhe apparelleth them, ſhe tendeth them when they are not well, (when the Shunemites childe being ill, ſaid to his father, my head, my head, he ſaid to his ſeruant, carrie him to his mother.) Her precepts therefore⁶³⁹ and practiſe in that reſpect are beſt heeded by the children, and ſhe hath the beſt opportunity to perſwade them to what ſhe liketh beſt: ſo as what they learne in their younger yeares, commonly they learne of their mothers: and that which then they learne, for the moſt part ſticketh moſt cloſe vnto them, and is longeſt retained by them, as was noted⁶⁴⁰ before.

1. 636. Prou. 29. 15. [moved in the edition]
2. 637. 1 King. 15. 2, 10.
3. 638. 2 Chro. 22. 3.
4. 639. 2 King. 4. 19. [moved in the edition]
5. 640. §. 37.

I haue not thus in particular preſſed this point vpon mothers, as if I exempted fathers from all care of nurturing their children in the beginning: for in my text the Apoſtle named Fathers: and Salomon ſaith, that his father taught him euen while he was tender: and Dauid felt the ſmart of neglecting his p. 547 other children. It is therefore (as hath before beene proued) a ioynt duty belonging to both. Fathers therefore muſt doe their beſt endeuour, and ſee that mothers doe theirs alſo, becauſe he is a gouernour ouer child, mother, and all.

Contrary is the negligence of moſt parents, who let the beſt yeares wherein their children are moſt docible paſſe ouer in wantonneſſe, vanity, and folly: and ſo loſe that which can neuer be recouered againe, moſt precious time. Hence is it that when they goe about to reclaime their children, they finde them exceedingly peruerſe and head-ſtrong: much like to a ſtrong bigge arme of a tree, which if a man goe about to ſtraiten, he cannot eaſily make it bow: and though it bow, yet will it not continue to ſtand as he would haue it: nay it may be that it will rather breake then bow much. Such a branch was Adoniah. It is apparent that in his childhood he was not well nurtured, for his father would not diſpleaſe him from his childhood.⁶⁴¹

1. 641. 1 King. 1. 6.

The fathers putting off this duty to the mother, and the mothers putting it off to the father, is a great cauſe of the neglect thereof. Were both of them perſwaded that it belonged to them both, and in that reſpect would to their power be helpfull each to other, children would much better be inſtructed.

As parents muſt begin betimes to nurture their children, ſo they muſt hold on therein, as long as they retaine any gouernment ouer them: yea ſo long as they remaine to be parents vnto them. Some difference there may be in the manner of performing this duty: for children are to be vſed as children: and they who are growne in yeares, and of riper vnderſtanding, accordingly to be dealt withall: yet ſtill muſt parents haue a care of their well doing. The word vſed in my text and tranſlated Children, is a generall word which in Scripture and other⁶⁴² writers is vſed to ſet forth all ſort of children, of what ſexe, of what age, of what degree ſoeuer they be. In handling the duty of children we⁶⁴³ ſhewed, that children owed a ſubiection to parents ſo long as they liued together: wherefore by the rule of relation, ſo long alſo an authority remaineth in parents ouer p. 548 their children, and accordingly they ought to haue a fatherly care for their good. On this ground Eli did well in admoniſhing⁶⁴⁴ his children after they were maried: his fault was that he went not farre enough in doing his duty: ſomewhat he did, but not all that he ſhould and might haue done. Iob is commended for the care he had ouer his children when they were growne in yeares: for day by day he ſent for them and ſanctified them: and that after they had ſeuerall houſes of their owne, and dwelt apart: and this all their daies.

1. 642. τὰ τέκνα.
2. 643. Treat. 5. §. 62.
3. 644. 1 Sam. 2. 25. Iob 1. 5. Hoc faciebat ille beatus vir, non ſemel, aut ſecundo, neque vno anno, aut duobus, ſed ſic faciebat Iob omnibus diebus vitae eorum. Orig. in Iob lib. 1.

For the performance of that which is now vrged, parents muſt ſo carrie themſelues from time to time towards their children, as they euer keepe the reines in their owne hands, and⁶⁴⁵ retaine a power to curbe their children as they ſee occaſion. They may, as their children grow vp in yeares, ſlaken the reines more and more, but neuer let them cleane goe, and caſt them looſe on their childrens necke.

1. 645. Direction.

Contrary is their folly who put themſelues in their childrens power, and let goe all their authority ouer them. Many⁶⁴⁶ parents that haue thus done, hauing by wofull experience found the miſchiefe and inconuenience that hath followed thereupon, haue much repented their folly, and vſed meanes of redreſſe, but all too late. For a miſchiefe is much more eaſily preuented then redreſſed. All the power that Dauid had could not hold in Abſolom after he was permitted to haue⁶⁴⁷ horſes, and chariots, and men at his command. If Dauid, as he begun, had continued to keepe him within a compaſſe, and ſtill held him vnder, all the treaſonable plots which he put in execution, might eaſily haue beene preuented. Our times afford too many examples of parents folly in this kinde, and of the miſchiefes following thereupon.

1. 646. Aegrè reprendas quod ſinis conſueſcere. Hier. ad Laet.
2. 647. 2 Sam. 15. 1.

Of Time of nurture thus farre. The meanes thereof follow.